The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Okay, let’s see… five more to go! Tomorrow I will address Honorable Mentions as well as Glaring Omissions of what I think could have had a shot at this list, but I never got to play. But that’s tomorrow. LIST GO.

5. Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Why didn’t anyone tell me being a total dick in video games was fun? Deus Ex lets you play in whatever manner you’d like, pretty well, so I just kind of did the sort of things I like to do in video games. It quickly became obvious to me that I was playing a total sociopath, manipulating people’s emotions and murdering anyone even vaguely in my way without a second thought. Once I had that into my head, and could wrap it into the fairly decent story of the game, my enjoyment level shot through the roof. The combat has some weird control issues sometimes, but is solid and fun, and the “Social Battles” are fantastic. Really, the only thing that doesn’t quite click in this game is the “Rejects from Metal Gear Solid” boss battles, but they don’t hinder the game in any way. This really is a game you must play, especially if you like a good western RPG.

4. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective
New game from the Phoenix Wright guy? You know I was going to be there. However, Ghost Trick is just so, so much better than Phoenix Wright. I will always love Phoenix Wright’s cast of characters, and will keep playing games in the series, but let’s face it: the gameplay is kind of shit sometimes. Ghost Trick’s gameplay, on the other hand, is a joy. It’s clever, different, and fairly easy to understand. At the same time, there’s a whole new cast of characters with just as much lovable charm as Phoenix and his friends, and frankly jaw-dropping rotoscoped visuals and animations that give the game an impressive look. Hopefully they will port this to the iPad in America, where it would also be awesome, but it is totally worth the cost of a DS game. It’s great.

3. You Don’t Know Jack
Do you have friends? Then you should own You Don’t Know Jack. I have thanked my lucky stars that Jellyvision finally made another one of these things every day since it came out. It is fun for everyone, even those who actually don’t know a lot of trivia like my parents, and it is just flat-out hilarious. You don’t get better comedy writing than this in a video game. There is no better time with friends sitting on a couch, for serious. I could gush on and on about this game, and how stuff like the Wrong Answer of the Game is brilliant, or how thankful I am they included Big Button Controller support, but seriously, just fucking buy it. It’s dirt cheap, and worth every penny.

2. Saints Row: The Third
No one game should have all that power.
Seriously, this game is just near-perfect. The shooting is fun, the upgrades are insane and completely satisfying, the customization is above and beyond the call of duty, and the story! Fuck. All of the characters are shockingly real people in a world of utter ridiculousness, completing missions that never really fail to keep topping themselves time and again. The game is crude, but funny as fuck with it, and entertaining for every damn moment of it. I didn’t give a shit about the previous games in the series, but now I am going to buy the fourth game day one. It was incredibly, incredibly hard for me not to give this game the #1 slot. I was grinning the entire time I played the damn thing. So strap it on. You should really play Saints Row.

1. Portal 2
If you’re wondering why I went with Portal over Saints Row, it’s for the writing. Saints Row has some fantastic writing, don’t get me wrong, but Portal 2 tells a story, a good story, and has characters that grow over time while still being completely hilarious and entertaining the whole way. Seriously, it is impossible not to love Wheatley and Cave Johnson for being so funny, but they also have very strong character arcs, which is just impressive. The presentation is top notch. The gameplay is honed so much you can forget it is an engineered video game level, even when it is. You never get stuck, and you always seem to solve the puzzle at just the right time, and feel like a badass for doing it. On top of that, the co-op, which I still fucking need to finish sometime, is in some ways even better than the main storyline! It shows that Valve can really fucking make a single player video game. Make some more, Valve!

Tomorrow I’m going to go over a few Honorable Mentions that were considered, but didn’t make the cut. I’ll also address a few of the obvious missing pieces on this list. So, you know, see you then?

Hello. Let me tell you about the top 10 video games of the year. Well, half of them. Because there are three days left of the year and I guess I can break them up if I want to, and thus I am. So 10-6 Today, 5-1 Tomorrow, and then Honorable Mentions/Glaring Omissions on New Years Eve. Sound good? Hope so, because that’s what I’m doing. Let’s get to it.

10. Tiny Tower
In retrospect, in a lot of ways, it’s kind of embarrassing to have Tiny Tower on here. Also, a lot of people wouldn’t call it a game. But let’s just say it’s the game-like experience I played the most this year, by far. I certainly didn’t keep up with anything else for months and months. It is just a really well crafted version of… whatever you want to call the genre of games like that. If you got addicted to it, I wouldn’t blame you, and I just can’t imagine it not being on this list, given all the time I wasted with it. So here it is.

9. Shadows of the Damned
As I think we’ll find as I climb up this list, I am a sucker for good characters. Johnson and Garcia Fucking Hotspur are two of the best characters of this year. They’re constantly entertaining and ridiculous in completely believable ways. By far the best parts of this game are when the two characters are reading Children’s Storybooks from Hell to one another. The plot, the world, everything is, well, a Suda 51 game, so it’s a bit crazy, to be sure. However, unlike most Suda games, the gameplay is actually decent. It won’t change the world, but it is enjoyable, and that helps you be able to keep playing to get to more awesome character moments.

8. Bastion
Remember what I just said about two seconds ago about good characters? Rucks, the Stranger and Narrator of this game, is a fantastic character. Him talking to you, and all the fantastic music and everything in this game, just make it an outright joy to play, and a game you don’t want to end. Add to that incredibly smart in-game systems to tailor difficulty to exactly what you want and the fact that the fast-paced combat is just AWESOME, even for someone who normally hates doing things like blocking and dodging, and you have one of the best games of the year.

7. Dead Space 2
When Dead Space 2 first came out, I made the decision I was going to try to catch up with this series. The demo for the first game didn’t grab me, but I figured I had a Gamefly subscription, and I should try it. When I did, the first game immediately clicked with me, and I was starving, hungry for this one. What I got when I played it was a game that basically did everything way, way better than the first game, letting me slaughter and murder with fun weapons all over much cooler environments. I suppose there was a stronger story in this one too, but I really don’t think this is a game you play for the story. The action speaks loud enough alone. This is the best 3rd Person Shooter to come out this year. Take that, Gears 3.

6. L.A. Noire
I am so glad I listened to people when they told me that, no, this wasn’t another Rockstar blah GTA clone, but instead an Adventure game, with ridiculous production values. I took a chance on it, and what do you know? It was an Adventure game, with ridiculous production values! Features like making your partner drive you everywhere to skip the tedious moving around town was just genius, and while the Truth, Doubt, Lie system has a lot of flaws that people have pointed out to me, I enjoyed working my way through the cases and interrogating suspects. Most of the characters were fairly entertaining as well, although sometimes leaning a bit hard on stereotypes, and were entertaining to listen to. If you like Adventure games, noire, or just watching a good story play out, L.A. Noire is a game you should play.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more listing, because everyone loves lists! I have it on good authority.

A bunch of bullshit happened today, but I don’t really feel like complaining anymore. So instead I’ll write about Jetpack Joyride.

Jetpack Joyride is a game I had heard quite a lot about, but I never really got the urge to play it. However, I finally moved my Roku into the bedroom and that freed up my iPad to no longer just be a bedtime video playing device, which let me look into some games I missed. I grabbed this Christmas morning while waiting for it to be time to go to the parents, and I played it pretty well nonstop.

It’s really good!

It’s not so much the actual gameplay that’s good. I mean, it’s fine. You press the screen to use the jetpack, and you have to maneuver around obstacles for as long as you can before you die. Simple stuff, really, and there’s plenty of games like that on the platform. Canabalt, Grim Joggers, and Robot Unicorn Attack, just to name a few. It’s nothing novel in that regard, really.

Where the game really shines is in the Mission system. The game gives you three missions, seemingly at random, and you need to complete them to level up and unlock more missions. These missions are sometimes just what you’d do anyway (Collect 5 Spin Tokens or whatnot) but are sometimes silly tasks that totally change how you play (Drag your head along the ceiling for 500 Meters, Reach 600 Meters without collecting a coin) and really keep the game fresh. Most of the time you have one mission that’s more long-term, and one that you can surely complete next run, so let’s go one more! It’s infectious. It keeps you playing and playing.

You also collect Spin Tokens as you play, and these let you get random bonuses at the end of a run. You may get bonuses for the next run (Double all coins collected, a 750 Meter Head start, etc) or something to keep your current run going (a bomb that propels you farther forward for free after death). Once again, these little bonuses are a great way to make you go “One more game” and they totally worked on me.

I dunno if this game normally costs money? I got it for free, and while there are microtransactions, the game really doesn’t force you to pay for them. You can have tons, tons of fun without paying a dime. It’s a great 2 minute game, certainly, and I understood why it got so much adoration from everyone. I would certainly suggest playing it, especially if that free thing wasn’t just some Christmas promotional sale.

I finally got a break from all the insanity of the holidays to play some more Dark Souls.
Dark Souls is a really great game.

I know, I mean, I completely know, I know that I will give up on it and not see it through to the end. But it’s just amazing to me that I can die via a curse that permanently halves my HP until I go to a specific spot to get healed by spending a valuable resource, a place I have absolutely no idea how to get to, and I still don’t want to give up on the game. I still want to keep going and see all it has to offer.

I mean, shit, the strategy in this game is so much fun. I’ve joined the Warriors of the Sun, so I can now throw Lightning, and I have tons of faith to power that shit. I can just slaughter people with it, and it makes running around so much fun, especially when I know I’ll get to a bonfire soon so I can just waste charges smoking random enemies.

I fought the Capra Demon today. Every time I’d fight him, he’d slam me the moment I entered the fight and basically kill me right there. I couldn’t get away from him fast enough. It took many deaths before I went “You know, maybe I should just equip lighter armor.” The moment I did that, I had little problem. I could roll right past him and his attack dogs. I ended up luring him up the stairs, jumping off so he’d following me, then running back up the stairs and sniping him with lightning before he could reach me again. Smoked him in 3 shots. This is a guy I had died to probably about 15 times before this happened, and the defeats were near-instant. It felt so damn good to kill that stupid rat demon! That is why this game is so awesome. I was completely screwed, but when I figured it out, it was a breeze. You feel smart, in the same way that say, Portal makes you feel smart for solving something in that “a ha!” moment. The difference is you also feel skillful, because the solutions take a lot more skill than your average Portal puzzle to pull off. Those mostly just take brains, you know?

Similarly, I ended up exploring the Depths, where I accidentally fell into this horrible sewer maze and wandered around for awhile. I had no idea how to get out, and I was seeing monsters like Basilisks (which is what eventually killed and cursed me) and a gigantic fucking rat about 2 stories tall. The level of intensity I felt during that sequence was just amazing. Sure, I could have cast my Homeward spell, and now that I think of it, I really, really should have! But no, I had to see what the game had in store for me down there. It turns out it was turning to stone and halving my HP permanently. Thanks, game! But at least I found a cool Poison Resist shield before that happened.

I’m sure if you’ve played this game, or been around other people who’ve played this game, these are all stories you’ve heard before. I’ve certainly heard them. But when they happen to me, and I’m not screaming in anger but instead just like “HOLY SHIT!” That says something to me, you know? It really does.

Okay, well, maybe it’s not ACTUALLY obligatory, but that’s what you’re getting anyway! So, uh, sorry about that. LINKS GO!

I found a new tumblr to follow! It’s about ponies! Again! Please pretend to be surprised, okay? Oh, and I guess I have these pony pictures to dump on you too, while I’m at it.

There are also secret plans to be revealed.

Here’s some important data.

I hope you remembered your Wassail yesterday!

Pokemon are cool.

Oh, right, here’s an important quiz that I hope you all can manage to pass! Maybe!

Here’s a reason why I need to get around to playing Skyrim sometime.

And finally, you know… that’s a picture.

Have a Merry Boxing Day, everyone!

IT’S CHRISTMAS!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

But no, seriously, it’s Christmas.

Christmas is a time of overwhelming waves of nostalgia. I remember walking downstairs late at night during December for so many years, seeing that tree, and wanting to cry, sometimes doing just that. I was remembering happy times, times when I wasn’t depressed as fuck, times before I really understood that Santa Claus, God, or whatever the hell else wasn’t going to make me the girl I was anytime soon. Christmas was a moment of pure happiness that I could hide in. Christmas was always happy.

I get older. I work retail, and goodness, Christmas sucks during retail. I get busy, and it gets harder and harder to just relax and enjoy the holidays, and let myself be happy. There are family tensions. There are gift-giving issues. Things just pile up.

But things are still happy.

This year’s Christmas is so different than the past, but I’m still with my family. They haven’t disowned me yet. I’m still with my friends. They haven’t disowned me yet. What’s more, I don’t have to hide in nostalgia anymore. I don’t have to grip so desperately onto moments of happiness that just being reminded of them makes me cry anymore. I don’t have to.
I’m pretty damn happy.

I hope you enjoy all your gifts, and time with the family. I hope that you have a spectacular and relaxing day off. But I hope most of all that your wonder, joy, and happiness aren’t trapped to just one togetherness-filled day of the year. I hope that this day is just one of many awesome things in your life, that continue getting more amazing. I hope that you’re happy.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

It’s Christmas Eve, but I guess Christmas already happened for me? It happened Thursday. And I guess it’s going to happen again next Thursday? I dunno. Because of Jonathan and Shauna leaving town things have gotten different this year.

I mean, it was just on a different day. It wasn’t that different otherwise. My mother wanted to take a million pictures, but was also not very good at taking pictures and was never happy with them and wanted them posed but also spontaneous, so I tried to take over as usual to get her something she’d like. There were lots of dogs running around. We had a nice dinner and opened presents in the traditional manner. You know. Christmas stuff.

I was worried the whole me being me thing was going to be a big deal. It didn’t go as well as I had planned, but I could at least tell my mother tried, which at least seemed an apology for the many times she called me by my old name during the same celebration. I mean, she had Alexis written on all the gifts and everything, which is a decision I’m sure she had a hard time coming to, knowing her. She also bought me a very nice pair of female PJs, which is awesome, as I have seen the light on PJs recently and I will wear the crap out of them.

All the gift giving went well, I think. I seemed to give good stuff, which is, well, good. I always worry. I also got plenty of nice stuff. New Kirby and New Layton and New Dominion Expansion… Well, and a Boxee Box, but I already discussed how well that went and I will be dealing with that soon.

What really made me laugh and smile, though, was the other gift Jonathan and Shauna gave me. They got me this sweet My Little Pony throw. When I opened that I just laughed out loud. How silly and how perfect! Jonathan was like “That’s your favorite one on there, right?” and I’m like “Yeah, that’s Twilight Sparkle on there.” It only occurred to me later how much that question meant, really. I later tried to think of when I’d actually had a conversation about that with my brother. I had made off-hand references to stuff like John DeLancie being in the show and whatnot because I thought he’d find them vaguely interesting, but we never really talked about it seriously. However, I remember when we were shopping for my mother’s birthday present, way back in October, I saw the My Little Pony in Canterlot display in his store and mentioned something about seeing a similar display up in St. Louis. There was this frightening-looking Twilight Sparkle plushie, and I commented, more to myself than anything, that if that wasn’t so terrifying, I’d buy it, because she’s my favorite. I cannot remember talking about liking Twilight Sparkle around him any other time. Somehow he remembered that this long. That’s a brother who cares about his sister enough to know about her incredibly pointlessly obsessions that are probably just an attempt to have all the girly things she couldn’t have in her youth. Heh, I dunno. Recalling that just made it mean all the more to me.

Anyway, I guess that was Christmas! Of course, actual Christmas will be tomorrow, but I’m probably just going to go over to the parents’ and have dinner and go watch Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows with them. Not that that will be bad. But it’ll be different. Difference! Lots of difference in this year.

Hi.

I would like to thank Boxee for ruining Christmas with their amazing bullshit.

So I get this thing. It’s supposed to do all kinds of nice stuff like stream video and whatnot. I hook it up. It won’t connect to my wifi. I double check my password, etc. Won’t connect. This seems really weird, because the Boxee Box is a D-link product, and I am using a D-link router with basically default settings. But whatever, I go on their website to troubleshoot. I check all their settings, and I change stuff, and change it again, and change it again.
It won’t connect.
I change more stuff, and more stuff.
It won’t connect.

I eventually give up, decide my PS3 doesn’t need internet, and plug in ethernet. I finally get into a menu. I go to play a video from my computer.
Nothing.
I set up some stupid media sharing software from Boxee. I go to play a video from my computer.
It crashes.
I reboot and try again.
It crashes.
I reboot and try a different video.
It crashes.

I try to use a different method to get to my videos. I use a totally different menu.
It asks me for a username and password.
I have no idea what it could be asking for, it’s my files, but I type in every combination I could think of that I would use.
Nothing.

I have been fighting with this thing for 4 hours now. Fuck it. Thanks for ruining Christmas. I hope I can manage to return it without issue and without upsetting my mother, who had to figure out the internet and try very hard to get this for me. I feel terrible making her go to all that effort just to return it, but it would be worse to be stuck with this expensive piece of garbage.

Today was a day of Adventure, and fuck am I tired from it.
So I booted up my Atari and…

Okay, not that kind of Adventure.

I woke up this morning, and I cleaned up, got in my car, and went to my grandparents’ house, where I fed them some dinner I made myself (which they claimed to like! Whoo!) and borrowed their truck. Trucks were needed for adventures, you see. The truck ran kind of weird for a little while, but after I got on the highway it seemed to have worked out all the kinks and went just fine. Well, besides the fact that it didn’t have a working radio and I got to listen to wind howling for hours. Whee.

Anyway, I drove my truck up to my pill doctor’s place in St. Louis, which was, in theory, the main point of the trip. That appointment went very well! I get to double my dose! Yay! And double it again in a month or two! Double yay! This is great news. Very great. Great. Great news!

Then, uh, I ate at an Applebee’s. And then I went to an arcade auction.

It was a really strange experience. There were all kinds of odd people there. People like me, who just wanted something cool for their house. Parents who wanted free entertainment for their kids and knew that arcade games on free play for testing would give it. Crazy collector types. People who really wanted Big Buck Hunter machines (seriously, those sold for more than anything! What the fuck!). It was a weird collection of people.

It was also just a weird collection of machines. There was this huge Final Furlong 2 machine that eventually sold for 50 fucking dollars because it was too huge and ridiculous for anyone to actually keep. It was just incredibly entertaining to watch because it was so ridiculous. Like, you chose from these horses who were anime stereotypes but also horses and were oddly super-anime in their little portraits, even though the game was kind of realistic? It was silly. There was a Frogger cocktail cabinet that went for much less than I expected. There was a fucking old tyme flip card movie viewing machine where you looked down into it and saw a flipcard movie. And it worked!

What I came there for, though, was a NeoGeo MVS. That’s what I’ve always wanted. There were three of them there: a two slot that was mostly functional, though I think it had a broken button on each side, a four slot that looked like it needed it’s screen adjusted, since the picture was showing outside the monitor a bit, and had a couple broken buttons, and a one slot that didn’t even turn on. I bid on the two and the four slot and, oddly enough, I won the four slot, which is really what I wanted, for $150 after taxes and auction fees and shit. I’m not too worried about the screen thing, from hearing about Patrick Klepek buying a NeoGeo on the Bombcast. It seems like there are hard-to-reach adjustors for that stuff, and I can make that happen. I also think I should be able to replace all the buttons and the joysticks without too big of an issue. I’ll also want to swap out the games: it currently has three games in it: some football game I couldn’t give a shit about, Samurai Showdown, which isn’t a bad choice, and Fatal Fury 2. I have to get some Metal Slug in there, maybe even two different ones, and I would really like a copy of Windjammers as well, because Windjammers is fucking awesome. Anyway, it’ll take some work, but it’ll work. And plus it’s a fucking arcade machine. Victory.

I had a weird experience loading it, though. That thing is fucking heavy, and I was alone! Thus, I employed a strategy I hadn’t been able to use before: the weak woman needing help with strong manly things. And, uh, it worked. I eventually had like 5 college guys moving this shit for me. I really appreciate it, because I mean, damn, I couldn’t have done it alone. But it was still weird taking advantage of the “perks” of my new gender, I guess. I mean, I would have helped move it much more than I did, but they just kind of took over and seemed to have it under control, so, you know.
Fuck, I am not looking forward to moving that heavy thing from the truck into the house tomorrow.

Anyway, that was my adventure! And now I’m fucking tired, so I’m going to bed. Later!

Today I played a Doctor Who MMO thing.
I was just looking at it and then I learned you could be a cat person so of course I played. I am a very predictable furry.

Basically, if you want to play a lot of shitty in-browser versions of Puzzle Fighter, Bust-A-Move, Pipe Dreams, and Sega Swirl, this is really the game for you.

You make your dude, and then the Doctor picks you up in the TARDIS! Whoo! I will give the game this: it looks really nice. It’s clearly flash-animated so that every animation isn’t individually drawn, but it has a great art style that looks really nice, and the little animated version of The Doctor is spiffy. Anyway, you go into the TARDIS and the Doctor says things like “Blah blah blah time crisis blah blah blah probably going to fight all the villains from the show since it’s relaunch in sequence blah blah.” And then he gives you a gadget, which is TOTALLY NOT A SONIC SCREWDRIVER because it sucks and you have to play little minigames to do things. Either that, or the Doctor is just really, really fucking good at Bust-A-Move, because he can unlock a door in like a second and it takes me clearing like 3 boards of Bust-A-Move to do that. Then you go out and you fight some of the plastic people from the first episode using your PUZZLE MINIGAME POWERS. I assume you eventually move to other times and places and fight other enemies from the show, but I certainly didn’t get that far. It’s also weird that, if I have gone back in time to the point where the plastic people were invading, then Earthlings don’t know about aliens. I’m a cat person. Shouldn’t they all be fucking terrified of me? World going to shit and whatnot? Or do they just assume the furry convention is in town or something? I assume they have furry cons in London.

Anyway, back to the game. Another thing I will give the game credit for is this: you really aren’t doing like… typical video game stuff in theory (although in execution, it’s just puzzle minigames, as I’ve said). The game has you unlocking doors, interrogating people, rewiring gadgets, and distracting enemies. You’re not running around with a gun and shooting people. You’re doing what the Doctor does in the show, which is to the game’s credit. You team up with a bunch of other players (in theory. This beta didn’t seem to have that working.) or if you solo, you get some AI characters to help you. You assign them to tasks and you do some yourself, or help them do them faster. “You barricade the door, you keep the woman calm, and I’ll hack this computer!” Again, in theory, really like the show, but in practice, it’s just playing board after board of these puzzle games, so it gets old fast.

The conversation, or “wits” minigame as they call it, is especially kind of bad. It’s like Sega Swirl, except there are ways to make special gems that do things like clear a whole line. In practice, this means that once you start a combo, it can kind of go on FOREVER. I had a combo last for a solid minute without me pressing anything in the game. And that combo didn’t give me enough points to finish off the task I was doing. Thanks, game!

The game’s microtransaction system really confuses me too. Going on missions and upgrading your gadget and whatnot requires “Energy.” The game always said I had 0 Energy, and was asking me to buy more, but it let me do everything anyway. Sometimes there was a number to the left of my Energy, which decreased when I did stuff. Maybe that was my actual value and it was a bug? In any case, it was not explained how Energy works. Is it a currency that regenerates over time, like in Spiral Knights? I kind of doubt it, though, as it’s required to buy clothing and TARDIS decorations and shit, so I assume it’s just a straight up microtransaction currency. If so, then that just seems really, really stupid. You have to have some way to keep free players coming back to play the game, so they’re tempted to spend money, whether that be “You can only play so many turns a day, unless you spend money” or “You can go in this special dungeon if you spend some money” or “You can play with this sick gear if you spend some money.” But just requiring a purchase to straight up play after a trial period, especially when your game is like this? That seems dumb. Then again, the BBC is stupid enough to price Doctor Who seasons at like 90 dollars in America for no fucking reason, so maybe that’s just that tendency shining through. Either way, the game doesn’t explain how this stuff works clearly, so who knows.

I… can’t suggest you try it? I mean, go for it, if you want. You don’t have to be a cat person. You could be, you know, a human. Or some green dude with a weird forehead. And maybe it’s just being aimed at kids, and that’s the problem. I mean, I could see having fun teaming up with my kid or whatever and playing this stuff. But I dunno if it would keep a child’s interest much longer than mine, unless they really, really wanted to see the outcome of the little stories in each level. Eh, I dunno.