The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Last time, on On the Whim of a Coin Flip,

Murdock Steelbeard, mechanical dwarf made by the Dwarf King himself, found himself called to the chamber of the Priestess. The Priestess had a vision, and there is someone in the city of Santa Cora he must help. Following the will of his teacher and his goddess, he sets out on his quest, only to immediately bump into Nimrod the Odd, a half-orc cultist who is trying to get the worship of his god, Slyce, recognized by the Priestess so he can spread the doctrine of how flat the world is. Murdock and Nimrod come to an understanding: if Nimrod can prove his worth and strength, Murdock will attempt to use his connections to get Slyce recognized. Without much guidance, the pair set out into Santa Cora.

Meanwhile, Heathcliff, bard extraordinaire, known as the Wonderheart for his prowess, sits in a bar called Bellaluna’s Cup, trying to keep his head down. His demonic lover has tipped him off that he’s already been located in this place, and he must be wary. He’s accosted by a half-drunk and merry Zardy, however, who demands music and ends up taking a liking to the man. As he gets swept up in the revere, Heathcliff notices outside his nemesis, Seymour Beuttes, a lacky of the Archmage who has been chasing him for some time in an attempt to acquire his magic coin, which can answer any yes or no question. He attempts to make an escape through the back, being forced to keep Zardy in tow due to his insistence that he not leave the party.

At the same time, Murdock sees a holy sign in the sunlight, and he knows the goal of his quest must be near. This causes him to be right in the way as Heathcliff races into the alley to get away, causing a collision. Deciding he must be the goal of his quest, Murdock gives chase, attempting to help the man, but the noise of him attempting to get him to slow down draws the attention of Seymour and his goons. While Heathcliff beats feat, Murdock gallantly stands against these enemies, and Nimrod tries to talk them down, still eager to be helpful to the mechanical dwarf. Zardy, however, is filled with the power of the Red coursing through his sword, and urging him to kill, and he’s more than happy to do so in order to help his new drinking buddy. Seeing the bravery of his group to protect him, Heathcliff also rejoins the fight to help, glad to have Seymour out of his life once and for all.

After dispatching of these foes, the group finds out that they were to return to a ship in the Santa Cora harbor, called the Wavecutter, according to a writ of passage on Seymour. Heathcliff secretly flips his coin, and it tells him that he should proceed to the ship itself, and after buying a round for everyone in the bar, especially his new barbarian friend, the group decides what to do next.

I heard about a game jam going on today. I think it used to be called the Gayme jam, but now it’s like the QUILT Jam or something? Anyway, I had an idea to participate, but I have an awesome wedding to go to today (Congrats, Brad, by the way!). So I decided to make it yesterday. It all came together, and now it’s done, and then I realized it didn’t really fit the jam’s theme anyway.

But I made something. And that’s significant. I dunno, I don’t make things enough anymore. I’m proud of it, in my dumb little way.

The game is here. It’s called The Ceiling. It’s not a platformer where a ceiling is separated from its walls and must jump through 10 stages in order to get them back, though that would have been cool. It’s kinda personal, but that’s the point. I hope you enjoy it, or at least get something out of it, if you try to play it. And please, let me know what you think if you do.

Thanks.

Oh, hey, look! Over at Onthestick.com! It’s a recording involving my voice! They let me on the podcast again to talk about Etrian Odyssey IV, DmC Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, music that only I like, and more! If you don’t hate listening to me, and if you actually are seeing this post on this website, you probably don’t, then you should go listen to it here!

And also check out all the other shows in the On The Stick Podcast Network, like The Action Cast, and What A Maneuver!

I’m out!

Hi. I’m going to blog for a sec. That cool? Cool.

I read, over and over, all of these stories of women in tech and gaming being completely and totally insulted, disrespected, and disregarded on twitter like… constantly. I’m not one to get angry at politics and things of that nature outside my pet issues. It’s a flaw, I guess. But I find, more and more, this is a pet issue for me. These stories make me hurt, and make me furious, and make me thankful that I am surrounded by awesome people and awesome co-workers for the most part and don’t have to deal with this bullshit.

But it’s more than that, I guess.

I grew up with all male friends, doing “male” things, and generally loving how I spent my time and who I spent it with. When I finally got to be myself, I didn’t lose many of the people I grew up with. As a result, they know me. They know what I am capable of. They know my passions. They know when I should be taken seriously. They know I’m female. It doesn’t really affect things at all, besides a few jokey jokes that I know are jokes that, frankly, I’m glad they feel comfortable making, because it means my identity is clear in their heads, which means a lot to me.

But it makes me wonder. Because when we’re really in the groove, doing things we used to love and still do, they forget. Simple slips, simple mixups, and quickly corrected. Nothing I’m angry or even annoyed about, though they do sometimes catch me off guard. Example: We started playing Magic again. We hadn’t done that in years, way before I transitioned, and when we play, I find that pronouns sometimes slip the wrong way. It’s like a muscle memory. Automatic. Nothing meant by it. It’s there, though. And it makes me wonder if a lot of the respect I get in the sort of areas these women are talking about in their horrible stories are because of my background. That I’m still, in some respect, in that “male” box in some dusty, discarded box in the back of their head, and that affects things.

Recently, my brother and sister-in-law had a party, and invited a couple I had never seen before. CJ and I struck up a conversation with the guy of the couple, and as things do around us, the conversation turned to video games. I quickly had a revelation while this conversation was going on: he would never look at me. He was having a conversation with CJ, and not with the both of us, because I was the female, and thus not a gamer. Even when I’d chime in, clearly knowledgable, he’d quickly move back to CJ, even to respond to things I said. Not in an insulted or frustrated way or anything. In no way am I saying this guy was being mean. He had a super cool wife and super cool kids and seemed really nice. He clearly didn’t realize he was doing it. CJ didn’t realize it was going on until I talked to him afterward either. If I had pointed it out, he would have apologized like crazy. But it wasn’t an important thing.

Compared to the kind of stories you see out there every day, this was obscenely minor and in no way a big deal. But it stuck in my head afterwards, as I realized it was one of the first times I had ever been disregarded for my gender like that. (That might not be true, now that I think about it. I faced a lot of pushback trying to head up the makeup crew on shows back in the day. But first time for my REAL gender, anyway.) And I sat there and pictured that happening to me every day on things like that, where I really care and know a whole damn lot, and fuck, the thought was pretty awful.

I read this stuff and I wonder why I never see it, really, in my life. Is it because of residual “maleness” or just knowing better how to communicate with them, having lived among them? (I feel like I am a better communicator because of my past, but I don’t think that’s what the problem is in all the stories I hear by a long shot.) Is it just that I am a really awesome judge of character and surround myself with the coolest dudes? (That is certainly true regardless, but may not be affecting this particular thing.) Am I just somehow better at sticking up for myself than most? (Feels unlikely where I’m standing.) I really don’t know.

All I can agree on is that it’s total bullshit that this stuff happens to people, and I’m glad people are pushing back.

A blog? What?

Recently, I’ve been playing some little art games that are trying to capture the transgendered experience. I replayed dys4ia before sharing with my class recently, and I just now played a game called Mainichi which was a little RPG Maker experiment that worked pretty well. I think trying to capture this stuff is a fine idea. The vast majority of people just don’t “get it,” even if they are supportive, or think they are. I get wanting to make it clear what’s going on, to some extent.

I just wish they weren’t so negative.

I mean, there are plenty of negatives, don’t get me wrong. And as a, you know, education vector, those are things important to encapsulate and show to people. I’m not arguing that. But it’s a standard “more flies with honey” kind of thing, right? Wouldn’t it be more effective to help people kind of share in the joy of becoming yourself for the first time? Because there is a lot of joy in it. That would help them understand too, wouldn’t it? Nobody ever emphasizes that part. That first moment when you look in the mirror and see yourself and for the first time, you look like the person you’ve always been in your head. That moment when you buy something you never would have been allowed to wear before, and go out in it. That moment when a random person at a store correctly genders you for the first time in your life. That moment when a PARENT correctly genders you for the first time. There’s a lot of bright spots in the experience, and maybe, one could argue, they’re few and far between, but they make it all worth it, don’t they? I think so.

Maybe a lot of people have it worse than me. I wouldn’t be surprised. But I mean, I’m in the middle of goddamn Missouri and things are going well for me. It always helps to focus on the positive, even if maybe I’m often bad at it. And hey, maybe that’s why there’s so much negative in most of these games. Because it is hard to think positive when most of your life, you’ve been overwhelmingly depressed from this stuff. It is hard. And you think about the bad things. The asshole who ruined your day with a stupid, offhand comment. How hard it’s going to be to save the money for that surgery. But it’s just a thing. They’re all just things. And there are better things.

This all may have something to do with me getting somewhat drunk last night and telling everyone I could listen how awful and fucked up I am. But that’s just the bad part of my brain talking. I don’t believe it. I know things are wonderful. I’d like to share that, and not despair. That would be better, right?

Welcome to a new year! Last year was basically the best year of my life, so I’m really looking forward to trying to beat that this year!
But for now, let’s look back at more games of 2012. There are always good games that don’t make the top ten for some reason or another, and I like to at least point them out. So here they are, in no particular order.

Blacklight: Retribution
How did a free to play shooter get on here? I was really obsessed with this one for awhile. It’s basically Call of Duty, but it nails Call of Duty, and had enough little tweaks, like robot battle suits and basically building looking through walls into the game, that it felt fresh and fun. What’s more, I somehow got pretty good at it. By the end of my time playing it, I was consistently getting first, second, or third place in matches, which shocked me every time. The only bummer was the way you bought items. It costs way, way too much real money to unlock guns permanently, which makes me sad, because I would have totally given them money if that wasn’t the case. Still, you don’t need to pay money to have a great time. If you want a free multiplayer shooter, Blacklight is actually really good. Download it on Steam, shoot some dudes for a week, and enjoy yourself.

Virtue’s Last Reward
Horrible, unforgivable save bugs aside, this game really got its grips into me. However, then I got busy and didn’t finish the story. Shame on me. Still, I loved 999, and this game was, up to where I played, better than it in every way. It’s really good. I need to finish it. Since I didn’t finish it, I wouldn’t put it on any top 10 with a clean conscience. But seriously, I’m glad I bought it.

Orcs Must Die 2
I thought the first game was a fun little tower defense game, to be sure. But the sequel added co-op, which is a blast, plenty of new weapons and traps to try, a new character with different equipment, and way, way more content than the first game. They also changed the unlock system so you don’t have to grind levels over and over again, hoping to get one more skull, but can instead play a different mode or just get skulls for trying to beat your high score, even if you don’t. It’s basically the best tower defense game out there, and as you shoot orcs with your own weapons, you feel powerful, but not powerful enough to do it without traps. It hits a good medium there. Especially if you have a buddy, pick this up for cheap on Steam. You won’t be disappointed.

Persona 4 Arena
Goddamn, what a fun fighting game. I really felt like I had a good grip on it, too. It felt simultaneously more complicated than something like Street Fighter IV, but also more simple. Plus, I love Persona 4, and I was super attached to all the characters. Once our little tournament was over, I stopped training. I’m just not a repeat over and over kind of lady in general. But damn, it’s a fun little fighting game. Highly recommended.

Hotline Miami
So I just bought this like 3 days ago? I thought I understood it from watching CJ play it, but fuck, I did not. It is so intense and so fun, and the music! Oh fuck the music! This is a great game, and if I had grabbed it earlier, it may have snuck onto my list. As it is, though, just know murdering so many dudes never felt so good, and leave it at that.

Resident Evil: Revelaitons
Look, that’s how my box spells it, okay? But seriously, the 3DS Resident Evil had some problems. There aren’t many enemies, and the story is pretty awful, even for Resident Evil. But this is no RE6. The game plays great, just like RE5, but on the 3DS. Sure, you could use the circle pad pro to make aiming better, but it does not need it. The tense stopping to aim gameplay is fun as ever. I really enjoyed this, despite its flaws. If you like RE4 or 5, don’t let the mediocre reviews scare you away. Pick it up for cheap, and give it a try.

Home
This tiny little game has some really amazing ideas on what makes a good video game story. The way you shape the story is pretty genius, and the atmosphere, especially the sound design… fuck. The game pretty well terrified me. I jumped at several points, mostly from CJ walking in. It’s a great experience, it’s cheap, and you should spend the hour, maybe, it takes to play through it.

Frog Fractions
Hilarious and grin inducing. You should play Frog Fractions. Just don’t give up on it until you see what the Warp Drive does, okay?

And that’s it. Bye, 2012! Hello, 2013! Hope you’re as awesome as last year.

Okay, let’s keep this rolling with my top 5 games of 2012. Tomorrow I’ll give some honorable mentions that I couldn’t put on the top ten list for one reason or another, but I still think are pretty swell.

Number 5 – Binary Domain
Sega trying to do Gears of War sounds really terrible, but Binary Domain is something special. The voice commands just do not work. Don’t try them. But the smaller system of pressing buttons to respond to your allies’ comments is actually pretty cool. The combat is solid. The enemies are bullet sponges at times, but it’s still quite fun, and the upgrade system really does change you from a really weak character to a guy who can take a lot of abuse by the end of the game. The real spotlight here, though, is the story. All the characters seem like horrible caricatures, but end up being really well realized and endearing by the end of the game. There’s a crazy twist by the end of the game, but when you get there, you’re so engrossed in this weird world of French Robots and Cup Noodle that it makes perfect sense. Like Spec Ops, you’re probably best off just playing this one on easy and enjoying the story, but the story is super enjoyable, and you should really give it a try.

Number 4 – XCOM: Enemy Unknown
I must admit it’s kind of painful to put XCOM so low, but I couldn’t move my top three around to make room for it. So it goes here. In a different year, this could have been Number 1. But holy shit, XCOM. Obscenely addicting tactical combat that, unlike the original XCOM, clicked with me immediately. When I make mistakes, I know why, instead of just dying and being confused. There’s so much depth in setting up your team, determining what to fund when, balancing the needs of all the countries giving you money, and so on, that you can just play this game for HOURS. I don’t have much time for binge sessions of video games anymore. I tend to play in hour chunks, then quit. Even on my winter break here, that’s what I’ve been doing. I have only played XCOM in like 4-5 hour blocks. It is so good. SO GOOD. Play XCOM.

Number 3 – Cook, Serve, Delicious!
I e-mailed the guy who made this game, and I told him that it was one of my top games of the year. I meant it. Cook, Serve, Delicious! is some of the best fun I’ve had this year, hands down. This little restaurant simulator is so fast-paced and challenging, but in a way that slowly ramps up with you, so you never feel like you can’t do the crazy challenges it throws at you. The adrenaline I get when I play this game is insane. I cannot remember feeling so pumped and “in the zone” when playing a game since back when I was obsessed with Tetris Attack. Apparently this just came out on iPad as well, which seems like a good fit. You really need to give this game a try. Once it starts to click with you, it will not let go.

Number 2 – FTL: Faster Than Light
I played this game to death, but still, months later, I’d throw on a podcast and go, “I need something to play while I listen to this” and play a few more rounds. The game is so simple, but so deep. That feeling when I first beat the rebel flagship was AMAZING, even though it was on easy. I never thought I would! And still, I wanted more. I wanted to unlock more ships, which drastically change your playstyle. I wanted to try more weapon combinations and new types of crew. I wanted to see everything. The fact that you can pause this game at any time, and the combat still often feels overwhelmingly intense, says something about how awesome FTL is. The music is solid too. Fucking buy FTL right now.

Number 1 – The Walking Dead
The countdown to tears is over. Walking Dead made me cry at its ending, and I nearly teared up at several other points throughout the game. Few games have made me more attached to its characters, and the decision-making you do in this game feels so brutal constantly, even if I can realistically separate myself from the game and realize how much of it was smoke and mirrors. I have always supported Telltale Games, but with this game, they have really come into their own. I don’t give a shit about the comic, or the show, but I have constantly evangelized this game to everyone who would listen to me. The Walking Dead might not be the most game-like game, but it shows how the medium can be used to have a really, really affecting story that makes you feel like a game story might actually be able to stand up against a well-written TV show or movie. The Walking Dead is a triumph.

Tomorrow, I’ll talk about some stuff that couldn’t make my list, unfortunately. Have a fun New Year’s Eve, everyone.

Well, it’s been awhile since I blogged! Fuck, I’ve been busy. Then, when I wasn’t busy, I was doing things like playing video games and reading. I thought that was pretty fun! But the year is about over, so hey, let’s take a look at what my top 10 games of the year were. I didn’t review every game I played like previous years, because I was so busy, but still, this should give you a little idea of what I found particularly awesome this year. 6-10 today, top 5 tomorrow, honorable mentions the day after. Okay? Let’s do this.

Number 10 – Spec Ops: The Line
Spec Ops: The Line is not a perfect game by any means. The combat is completely fine, but there’s little to make it pop, perse. However, it is willing to have a strong story, and try to get that across. I’ve heard complaints that it is a bit heavy handed in its delivery of said story, and removes choice from you in parts. Maybe that’s the case, but I never felt that way. The story was moving and made me think, and the cleverness of using things like load screen tooltips to really set the paranoid, strange mood they were going for was really genius. If you haven’t played Spec Ops, pick the game up for cheap, set it to easy, and try the story. You won’t be disappointed.

Number 9 – Penny Arcade Adventures: Episode 3
I had thought that, other than the occasional Shin Megami Tensei game, I was pretty well done with Japanese-style RPGs. The combat felt so boring and I always felt like I was going through the motions. Somehow, Penny Arcade Adventures: Episode 3 managed to fix that. Classes like the Apocalyptor and Gardenar really change up the normal RPG combat. Trying to juggle prophecies with the Apocalyptor and setting up recurring buffs you don’t have to babysit with the Gardenar was really fun. The other classes were solid too: I really enjoyed the Crabomancer and it’s crazy defense. The way MP builds over time and makes you have to choose between waiting for a big attack, or using a skill now, was brilliant. And even though I don’t really follow Penny Arcade any more (they’ve just kind of rubbed me the wrong way one too many times) the writing was still fucking hilarious most of the way through. Plus, there’s furry mode DLC. This is a great little game to blaze through in an afternoon.

Number 8 – Mass Effect 3
It kind of makes me sad that this game is so low on my list. I LOVE Mass Effect as a series. However, the game really did have tons of problems, storywise and otherwise, that really hampered this offering. Still, I’m not sad that I took the journey. The combat in this game was top notch. My Engineer was more fun to play than ever, and there were some really great character moments in there, I must admit. Plus, the surprise of the century was that the multiplayer was really goddamn awesome, and I played it for quite some time with friends from work and just randoms. Being able to be an Engineer and sling spells instead of shooting made the standard horde mode game play way, way more fun for me. You should play Mass Effect 3, if you haven’t. Just don’t expect a masterpiece like the game that preceded it.

Number 7 – Paper Mario: Sticker Star
I love Paper Mario, and this game is no exception. Nintendo proves that it knows how to be damn funny when it wants to be, with dry humor all the way through the game that made me constantly grin. People were down on the combat system, but it never bothered me: I enjoyed the combat all the way through. The game does have some huge problems though, as it’s very obtuse, and requires you to basically lose boss battles a few times to figure out the trick if you aren’t just using a walkthrough. It’s kind of bullshit. Similarly, like so many Mario RPGs, the lass boss is obscenely hard and even more obtuse than the rest for no reason whatsoever, causing me to get to the last boss and stop. Still, it was one of the more enjoyable experiences I had on my 3DS so far, and I do recommend it.

Number 6 – Dragon’s Dogma
Dragon’s Dogma is a mess, but it’s such an endearing and fun mess, that you can’t really fault it that much. Capcom’s attempt at making Skyrim was clearly a failure, but they made a weird RPG where you raise and share NPCs and engage in an obscenely fun combat system. You have to repeat some fights as you wander around the huge world, but these fights never feel like a chore. They’re always action packed and fun. Similarly, your pawns, which you’d think would get annoying with all their repeated phrases and whatnot, actually get extremely endearing. They feel like your dumb little kids, and I personally enjoyed their company. You can look at all the parts of Dragon’s Dogma, and say that each part of it is weak, but somehow it adds up to an extremely fun whole. And I mean, that title screen song, goodness. Stick with it until the drop.

Anyway, come back tomorrow for my top 5! Or not. But it would be cool if you would.

Dang, yo, even though I don’t blog all that often any more, I still collect tabs with cool links. I have so many tabs open in Chrome right now I cannot see the little icons on the tabs! Let’s do a good ol’ fashioned link dump and clear them out, shall we?

This is me in my Halloween costume. Yep.

Life is hard for such people. It really is.

As much as I don’t like dressing up dogs, people often do awesome shit with it.

Poor Will Smith.

Sweet tricks on a four-wheeled device, Slender.

Cat Pokemon: Best thing.

Three Word Phrase is normally amazing, but this is one of the best comics he’s ever done, to be sure.

HOW I HOLD POPCORN?

They’re pretty sad.

They’re really going at it. (Who makes this shit?)

A thorough plan of action.

VAMPIRE DOG!

Let’s rock out!

The hottest new magazine for game developers!

Corgis rule.

This man knows how to enjoy a beverage.

Yes, this is another pony comic. Huzzah!

Yes, applause is appropriate.

Finally, the most excited puppy dog.

Whew! That was a lot of links! Thanks for helping me unload them!

Sometimes I really wonder about myself. More and more often, I’ll just be overcome by waves of panic. I’ll just have this feeling something is wrong, or I’ve done something wrong. It’s a really shitty feeling. I’m nervous constantly. I’m honestly really fucking tired of it. I mean, I have people who support me and calm me down, but it’s annoying to me that they have to. I should be able to stand on my own. I shouldn’t spend every morning curled up in a ball, freaking out about not having something done. I shouldn’t be so nervous and worked up that when I pull out of the driveway, I accidentally bump into my boyfriend’s car and scratch the paint because I’m having trouble focusing on such a simple task. That shouldn’t be how I live my life. I really wonder what’s changed and what I can do about this… Bleh.

On a more positive note, though, it’s Halloween tomorrow, and I have a costume. This is totally weird. I never even thought of trying to have a costume, because it wasn’t like I could be any character I actually wanted to be because of gender bullshit. This is the first year where that’s not been an issue, and I took action on it, and I’m really excited to wear my dumb Twilight Sparkle outfit out and about. I really, truly am. I’m a lame brony furry person, but fuck it, I get to dress up how I want to and that rules. RULES. I am so excited. I hope people don’t mind pictures of my outfit being shared, because it will happen.

I have been playing Virtue’s Last Reward. More about that later, probably, but it is awesome. The thing is, though, the 3DS version has some really horrible bugs that can wipe your progress, which is just… ugh. How did those not get fixed while they were translating? It’s a damn shame. Apparently the Vita version does not have these problems, but I don’t have a Vita, so I had to get the 3DS version. It just really bums me out, but at least I know about the bugs and can play around them. If you’re going to play the game, do, but be sure to check up on the bugs first so you don’t lose a lot of progress.

Anyway, I guess I should get back to teaching instead of rambling. Whee.