The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I’m just going to talk about Saints Row: The Third, okay? Today? No spoilers. Tomorrow: spoilers, probably. I mean, we’ll see. I haven’t written it yet. Maybe I’ll have less to say than I think I will. But I also think that is unlikely.

Before Saints Row: The Third, I had only really clicked with one or two open world games before, such as Red Faction: Guerrilla. The adventures of the Space Asshole were fantastic. You always had something fun to do (read: blow up) and more fun was very rarely far away. What’s more, you always felt insanely powerful. It would take waves and waves of dudes to even attempt to kill you, and that was just so much fun. Crackdown was really the other game that clicked with me, and it was similar. Always something useful to do. From the near get-go, you felt invincible and powerful.

I guess it’s no surprise then, that since Saints Row: The Third has such upgrade tree options as “Don’t Take Damage From Bullets” that I would enjoy it. From the get-go, the game makes it clear that you are powerful, obscenely so, and that nothing can stop you. Sure, if you weren’t playing on easy like I was, you might die sometimes. There were moments where I got killed, even on easy. But most of the time, nothing can touch you. You eventually fight a whole fucking army, and nothing can stop you. It’s amazing, and it’s so, so much fun.

On top of all that, all of the dialog in the game is fantastic. It’s funny, but most importantly, it’s smart and extremely well-delivered. This is a game with auto repair shops are called “Rim Jobs,” but somehow the characters in it seem extremely real, and have fantastic chemistry with your player character, which is just mind-blowing considering there are, what, 7 different options for voices? It never felt like my character’s voice was pasted in. It felt like the whole game was made around her. It’s fantastic that way. I mean, okay, I said no spoilers, but here’s something near the beginning of the game that just shows how amazing this voice work is. So good.

Plus, the game has a “buy up property which gives you money that you can use to buy more property” mechanic, which I am always a total sucker for and love.

All these elements, plus a completely batshit insane story, adds up to what I feel I can pretty safely say is the best gaming experience I have had this year. Every moment of this game was a joy to play through. Sure, there were some mission types I wasn’t a fan of, but the game really doesn’t penalize you for not doing those. You really can play your way, and the game is constantly giving you new tools to skip the parts of the game you don’t like. It rewards you for doing well by letting you remove what you don’t like, and continues to reward you for doing what you do like. It is a video game, not high art, but oh, what a video game it is.

Go play this game. Seriously. Don’t read the spoilers tomorrow, just play the damn game. You won’t be disappointed.