The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I love Saints’ Row: The Third. Completely and seriously. Love it. I snapped up that Season Pass because I wanted more of it. I was so excited to learn that Genkibowl came out yesterday. So excited!

Genkibowl is such a disappointment of a DLC.

Okay, I’ll say this: the actual activities themselves in the DLC were fun enough. I enjoyed them, and beat them all. However, basically all of them were rehashes. Apocalypse Genki is just the normal Super Ethical Reality Climax, but with a different setting and such. Super Ethical PR Opportunity is just a slight modification on the missions with the tiger and the people fucking in the back of your car. Sexy Kitten Yarngasm is just Mayhem, but with a really, really weird vehicle. (To be fair, that one felt pretty different, but still.)

The one event that was pretty new, Sad Panda Skyblazing, was a TON of fun, though. It was fast paced, and full of the crazy that you expect out of Saints Row. That was good stuff.

But of course, there’s not much of it. There’s only two instances of all these events! And while you get a bunch of fun toys, for instance being able to summon sexy Genki fursuit people, and call in a gigantic ball of yarn at any time, you no longer have any missions to play with these toys in after you get them! There’s just so little content there!

That wouldn’t bother me if there was more dialog. I love Saints’ Row’s dialog. A lot. But the boss doesn’t say ANYTHING in these missions. This really saddens me. The Boss talks right at the end, but she’s wearing the voice thing from the opening of the game for absolutely no reason… except for the fact, of course, that they didn’t want to record all 7 in-game voices. Assholes.

I would hold off on the Season Pass if you haven’t bought it yet. This makes me worried. I certainly would not buy this DLC alone. There simply is not enough there. Hopefully this was their “quick out the door” DLC, and the others will have more story to them. I hope.

I’m exhausted. Not sleeping due to nerves and then working all day does that to you, I hear! But I still wrote a poem. I bet I’m going to look at it tomorrow and see all kinds of problems but, for now, here it is.

Flaws

When someone else turns the focus,
it injures the diaphragm.
Everything seems sharp,
ready to kill
with thousands of tiny punctures
and those brushed away trivials
linger before you,
for once,
a point of debate,
Admittedly,

I was talking with Aesa, and I ended up rambling about Silent Hill 2, and then Earthbound, because they were games I called “must plays.” Then I got to thinking that no, must play isn’t right. I tried “Flawless,” but as I started to make a list, I realized that wasn’t right either. Many of these games have flaws. I finally settled upon “Untouchables.” This list I was making was a list of games that, if I had the magical power to enact change on them however I wanted, I would not touch. They are something special, close to perfect, warts and all. Anything I’d do to adjust them would just ruin the magic, so I wouldn’t. These are likely games I love, yes, but many games I love have things I would fix. Take, for example, Space Channel 5. I love Space Channel 5 from the bottom of my heart, and if I was listing favorite games? It would be on there. But that game is messed up in so many ways. It’s got huge problems that could probably be fixed while keeping its charm and what I love about it! It isn’t an untouchable game.

Does that make sense? Anyway, I’m going to try this out as a series. We’ll see if I decide this is a stupid blog topic or not. I’ve made a long list, and I’ll just start writing thoughts about them, hm? We’ll see where this goes.

As I started writing down the list, one thing hopped into my head which shocked me. Bayonetta is a perfect game. I very much WOULD say that Bayonetta is a game without flaw. That surprised me. I’m still just not into that kind of combo-driven, perfection-demanding gameplay that Bayonetta has in spades. Why would I feel it so perfect? But dammit, it is. It is perfect.

Again, I am no expert at the combat in this game. I cannot do any sick combo videos or anything of the sort. I’ve seen them, and goddamn, are they a thing of beauty. The game clearly rewards that kind of play, which is fantastic. If you persevere, you will become badass. But normally these kinds of systems sacrifice accessibility for that. If you don’t put in that time, you’re useless. Bayonetta’s easy mode fixes that completely. Much like how Rock Band makes me feel like a skilled musician, the Bayonetta easy mode made me feel like someone making ridiculous combo videos to youtube. And while I’m sure the high you get from actually pulling that stuff off, and the much, much more complex stuff you can do if you’re in full control, feels much better, it let me have a taste that I never, ever would have had otherwise. That’s the mark of a great game.

Similarly, I stand by Bayonetta as being one of the best female characters this generation. She has depth, she’s a sexual being without being stereotypical eye candy for no reason, and you like her. She’s a fully realized person, and that is just so rare in games. On top of that, the game has an entertaining and batshit insane storyline that you feel like you could never follow, BUT YOU DO. Somehow, every fucked up thing in the world of Bayonetta quickly makes sense to you. Being that crazy, but somehow that grounded, is great storytelling.

I wouldn’t change anything about Bayonetta. This is a game that should be affecting how people design games. I don’t know if it truly is, which is a shame. Don’t make a sequel to Bayonetta now! It doesn’t need that, though I will fully admit I will play it. But it should shine as one of the high points of this long console generation. I truly think it should.

I really need to get some shit done.

Classes start tomorrow, and I need to do some heavy duty teaching then. I still have a bunch of prep to do. I mean, I don’t doubt I’ll get it done. I’m not stupid or whatever, and while I hope I get more done than the barest of minimums, the barest of minimums, being prepared just for this week of classes, is not going to be hard to achieve, given what I’ve already gotten done. I’m not really worried about it.

But goodness, I feel lost.

I feel disconnected from what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I feel like pointlessness to my actions, where what I’m doing doesn’t matter. Is it because I’m out of plans and am just in a holding pattern waiting for Brer to get here? Is it the pills? Is it because I’ve been on forced “vacation” for so long and haven’t been doing much I would consider constructive? Disconnected from friends? Swamp gas?

I’m not sure.

It’s kind of extra demoralizing though. I dunno. I assumed most of this shit would stop when I transitioned and, for the most part, it totally, totally has. But then I have days like this, where I feel so lost, even when I’m working on projects, alone, even when I’m talking to my boyfriends and friends, and floaty, even though I’m interacting with my family in physical space for dinner, and I just worry that I’m just kind of wired naturally to feel like shit. I fixed a lot of it by giving my brain the stuff it needs, but not all of it, you know?

I really don’t think that’s accurate. Everybody has off days, sadness, and things like that in their lives. This shit happens. It shouldn’t be happening 24/7, like it was before, but it does happen. That’s life. I think all this worry is really more like… I worry that I won’t snap out of it. Now that I’ve been more happy, and more stable, I do not, in the least, want to go back to how I felt before. Feeling that way, even for an afternoon, makes me scared that tomorrow, things won’t be better. I won’t cheer up, and I’ll go back to how things were. I’ll feel like I’m unable to get out of bed, and continue living. I freak out about that happening again. And that freaking out would, in the past, cause me to get even worse, and continue to spiral downward, again and again, into that black abyss or something less cliche.

I guess that is the difference, now that I say it. I’m not getting worse. Feeling like this is not making me sing songs about killing myself, or about how much of a disappointment I am, as I go about my daily stuff. I’m not falling down where I can’t get up. I don’t feel great, but I’m not doomed. That helps.

I’ll get some sleep. That’s probably a bit part of it. We’ll see how things go, and we’ll see how much I am overthinking what will probably just end up being my normal apprehension to change, namely changing to this new teaching schedule, which I’ve felt basically every year I’ve been in school before school started. We’ll see.

I just want to write about this for awhile, so I guess I will.

This whole being an insane fan is kind of new to me, and weird.

Awhile back, I realized that I didn’t just like MLP: Friendship is Magic, but that I was one of those crazy fans that sometimes gives people who like a thing a bad name. I am way, way too the fuck into this. It was just kind of surprising I didn’t realize this until I was looking around at all my pony toys while under my pony blanket, head against my pony pillow, while I was listening to pony fan music. You’d think me writing so much crap for Mafia would have clued me in. But, you know, I realized it, anyway. My theory is that I am trying to use this very good show as a means of achieving the girly childhood I never actually got to have, but that’s neither here nor there. Either way, I am totally into this shit.

I don’t mind, really. I’ve never seen any point in being embarrassed of things you like. That’s just wasted energy. This realization has not caused me to enjoy the pony shit any less. If anything, it made me worry less about what I do enjoy. I’ve stopped questioning it. Of course I like that silly fan thing. I’m a silly fan. Example: earlier tonight Lobst exposed me to this Friendship is Witchcraft thing. It was very slow-paced at first, and kind of deadpan, and I didn’t get it, but by the end of all the episodes I literally couldn’t stop laughing at it. It’s basically Ponies: The Abridged Series. It’s so good. I stuck with it until it clicked, and I finally found what it’s sense of humor was, because, fuck, I love this show, this was made for me, surely there’s something there for me, I’m a crazy fan. And there was. Whee!

Anyway, being hopelessly obsessed with something isn’t a bad thing if it’s not ruining your life. (I have nice work things going on and I’m not destroying my relationships, so I’m not worried about that!) I’ll be obsessive if I want to be. However, it’s a different thing to be an ANNOYING OBSESSIVE, and this is what I am now worrying about.

Going back to that show, I immediately wanted to link it to everyone, I was laughing so hard. I wanted to show them clips and a bunch of stupid stuff. I mean, I get to do that here, because if you’re reading my blog, you know the kind of bullshit I get into, so you brought it on yourself. But like, I just had this urge to force it on everyone because it gives me such joy and I want them to see what I love in it and feel that same joy. This, Molestia, so much shit that just isn’t going to be funny to people, I want to force on them. There’s something great here! I want them to see it!

But that’s the problem with these sorts of obsessions. You don’t see how deep into that stuff you have to be to understand what’s going on, because you’ve already basically drowned in it and grown a set of gills to live on the sea floor. I’m not saying people can’t understand why I find this stuff funny. I’m sure they can. But for it to click for them, for them not to just understand it on an intellectual level, but have to actually make them laugh, they need to have this general knowledge of the fandom, fanon, the show… so much stuff that the majority of people just aren’t going to have. Laughter is fun, but having to understand to get a joke? That’s work. That puts strain on things. That’s annoying. That’s exactly who I don’t want to be.

If I become that annoying person, please slap me. I worry I am. I find the back of my head trying to find excuses to bring ponies into conversations, and that’s frustrating. I do my best not to act on them, at least not around people who aren’t into it too.

But I mean, still, there’s some great stuff out there, you have to admit.

RAMBLINGS!?!

I was at work, and Clint goes “Hey, I know you like hours, so here’s a shift I was about to post, would you like it before anyone else sees it?” and I said, “Yes! Thank you very much!” and took it. The next day, I get a message on my phone. “That shift you picked up yesterday was already taken by someone, so you don’t need to come in.” Which was annoying, but whatever. More free time before the semester starts is never bad. Today, I go in to work, and someone is trying to give away the EXACT SAME SHIFT I WAS TOLD I COULDN’T HAVE. So I took it. But it all feels really stupid. So I thought I’d share it.

There’s a thread on Talking Time where you’re supposed to post everything that’s changed in your life since you started posting there, so I posted that. It was a lot of shit! In any case, there was talk about relationships in there, and cool dude upupdowndown was like “Awesome things are going well, but man, you poly people need to come equipped with diagrams or flowcharts or something to keep things clear.”
So I made an Org Chart of my relationships and posted it because, you know, humor.
At the same time, after I did it, I’m like “Well, that is accurate. I hope everyone on it likes the way it is.” I think so, but, you know, I do so love to worry. WORRY.

There’s this sign at work that says “Do these two things and save 300 bucks on your health insurance premiums for the year.” And I’m like “Well, I could clearly use 300 dollars for doing basically nothing.” But one of the things I would need to do is get a health screening or something from a doctor. I don’t really have a general health doctor, much less someone that understands my situation. So now I’m convinced I should do this thing, but I’m worried about how fucking awkward that encounter will be, and if whoever does this examination is going to understand what’s up with me. That’ll be an “adventure”!

And going from mild awkwardness and annoyance to something way worse, have you seen this shit? This sort of thing is why I don’t read the news. Dammit, that pissed me off all day. This guy gets to basically publicly threaten many people’s lives for no reason, and will probably get away with it. What’s worse, he is an ELECTED OFFICIAL. This guy is helping to run our country. Why the hell are people with such hate anywhere near running anything? Why do people hate like that for absolutely no reason? It just… bleh.

I’m going to head to bed now. Not all people are awful! For example, you are pretty awesome. Just saying. Goodnight.

It’s Friday the 13th! oooOOOOOoooh! And what better way to scare yourself than by reading about BAD GAME DESIGN DECISIONS! ooooOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!

Anyway, Tropico 3. I was playing along, quite enjoying my time with the game. I mean, it’s got a clever angle, and it’s pretty fun, although I knew it wouldn’t be fun that would last for me. Still, I was having an enjoyable few hours with it before I returned it to Gamefly.

I got to a mission where I was on an island that sucked at farming. So the game, after I get going, pops up a tooltip: why not build some fishing wharfs in order to make sure your people have enough food? A great idea! I didn’t know that was an option! A flat beach area is the only place you can really build one of those, but luckily, my island had a long beach off to the side of the dock the game started me with. I prepared to build some fishing wharfs there, and soon enough, they were completed. All I needed then was to hook up the wharfs with roads so the fish could be transported quickly and get everyone fed. I whip out my road-building tool and start putting a road there.

Only I can’t.

The game will not let you build roads with really sharp turns. The game will also not flatten terrain that it considers too intense, like, say, the little rocky mountain thing by the beach where the dock and wharfs are. It also doesn’t let roads intersect with buildings.

The initial placement of the docks was such that there was no way to build a road around them to the only place where you could build those wharfs. You’d either make the road clip into the area blocked off for the dock, so you couldn’t build it, or you’d hit the mountain, so you couldn’t build it, or the road would turn too sharply, so you couldn’t build it. You simply couldn’t get trucks to these wharfs. It was impossible to actually set up what the game’s tool tip told you to do. It took me like 20 minutes of trying desperately to move shit around to figure this out. I restarted the mission three times, figuring I must have placed SOMETHING in the wrong location. Nope. It’s just impossible.

Needless to say I quit that mission immediately and played another one. But thanks for that, Tropico 3! That was pretty frustrating.

This is a difficult puzzle to solve. Why not see if these links help jog your memory and help you figure it out?

Too many pony videos. Or is there such a thing? I dunno. Ponies are everywhere. Sometimes even in music form. I dunno.

So much symbolism everywhere too.

This is a cute puppy. Cuteness is good, right?

Finally, this is the Skyrim mod you should be installing right now.

Did you figure it out? It’s me! I feel like shit! Hopefully things will be better tomorrow! Bye!

SHPACE MURHEENS?!

I played some Warhammer 40K: Space Marine. I was going to play all the way through it, but it didn’t want me to, so, you know, fuck it.

Anyway, it seemed like a competent game? You ran forward and hit people with a chainsword. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? You can shoot people too, using bolters and whatnot, but there’s only one way to refill your health, and that’s by doing a dramatic takedown on an enemy, so basically you’re only shooting at dudes you can’t easily cut with your chainsword! And that’s fine. That’s certainly pretty much like what I know about Warhammer.

By far the most fun in the game that I had was when it gave me a jump pack. I got to rocket all around this area and smash the shit out of people from above. It was empowering and just totally cool. And then the game took it away from me for flimsy reasons. Come on, game! Just because I’m walking into close quarters doesn’t mean I might not be in non-close quarters LATER. Why did I have to take it off? I guess I’m basically saying that most of the game should have been designed around that Jump Pack, because it was just tons of fun.

Really, though, the game is designed around being stupidly difficult. I mean, I’m a goddamn Space Marine. I’m supposed to be this unstoppable juggernaut. On top of that, I put the game on easy. I should not be almost instantly one-shotted at the same point in a firefight many times in a row on the THIRD CHAPTER OF THE GAME! That’s just ridiculous. If that was the level of difficulty the silly game was demanding of me on easy, I didn’t really want anything to do with it. I’m a content tourist! I just want to see all the stuff! Assholes!

But yeah, the game seems fine and I’m sure the Warhammer fans were very happy about that. I was done with it pretty quick, though. But hey, what else is Gamefly for?

Okay, NOW let me show you my Skylanders. I’m just going to go down the list! Here we go!

Spyro: I was fairly surprised by how not-good Spyro is. I mean, he’s fine, I guess? He doesn’t completely stink. But his damage output is just terrible, and there doesn’t really seem to be a lot you can do about that. His one good quality is that he was by far the most maneuverable of the Skylanders I owned. His Fire Ram thing let him run around maps quickly, especially once upgraded to last for longer. That made him useful for speedrunning through boring parts or dodging the several bullet hell sequences in boss battles, but really, he just wasn’t that good for someone with his name on the box.

Gill Grunt: This guy is the best one you get in the starter set. Maneuverable with his water jetpack, heavy pinpoint damage with his harpoons, decent spray and pray damage with his water hose. He has a good answer to about any situation. I specced him for Harpoons, since Jeff of Giant Bomb fame did the other one, and I was really happy at how much damage his harpoons did once upgraded and made to split into three. You could murder dudes right and left!

Trigger Happy: He’s just amazing to play as, because when you shoot, he’s constantly making these insane laughs, and it makes you feel badass. I don’t really understand why I can’t just hold down A to keep firing. I mean, having to jam on the A button to keep up his rapid fire makes things feel more manic, and I guess I couldn’t have charge shots if that wasn’t the case? But when Drobot does similar damage with his eye lasers and you can just hold the button down for him, it feels like Trigger Happy doesn’t work as well. Still, a solid choice.

Drobot: He’s a robot and a dragon. There is good reason he is Giant Bomb’s Skylander of the year. His eye lasers just do crazy amounts of damage, and once you upgrade his jet flight it makes him decently maneuverable as well. His bouncing gears are not great? But are useful in tight corridors, so, you know. He’s also just one of the coolest looking of all the Skylanders, which means something when you’re getting a toy that sits on your shelf.

Hex: This is the first extra toy I bought. She is very defensive, which is pretty different from the rest of the Skylanders I have. I didn’t get much mileage out of her bone shield because I suck at defending, but once you upgrade it so it does damage, it’s much more useful to deal with a group closing in. Her default attack never gets great, but her skull bombs, which fly up in the air and home in on targets, are incredibly useful, especially once upgraded. They do decent damage, and you can charge them while you run around and dodge. Hex would probably be nearly broken in a two-player scenario, as she could likely use those skulls constantly unhindered.

Dino-Rang: I personally find Dino-Rang to be so lame, he is awesome. He is a dinosaur that throws boomerangs. IT’S RIGHT IN HIS NAME! He is probably my favorite Skylander because of this. It doesn’t hurt either that he is a combat machine. His boomerangs do SICK damage. He can’t fire as fast as other distance Skylanders, but the amount of damage makes up for it, and his little “spin the boomerangs around him” move is really, really good at taking out big groups. I even found use for his little earth traps during some boss battles. This guy is really awesome, one of the best Skylanders I got, power-wise, and if you find his lameness as entertaining as me, you should get him.

Prism Break: This was the Earth Skylander I originally wanted, and I eventually got him. His gimmick is really neat, and he’s a solid guy, but in the end, I stuck mostly with Dino-Rang because he just brought the beats. Still, he is really quite neat, with the way he summons crystals to split his default laser about. Once you get the upgrade where enemies you kill with your laser become crystals, it makes it really easy to fill a room with lasery death, and his crystal eruption attack is also fairly effective if enemies get close, which is nice. But yeah, still prefer Dino-Rang in all his stupid boomerang-throwing glory.

Sonic Boom: I don’t know what to think about Sonic Boom. She throws eggs as an attack, which break open and become little babies which attack on their own. Not a very loving mother! Still, her default attack, with it’s decent range for a melee, bit of knockback, and wide arc, made her a great melee choice for just charging in there and destroying shit.

Stump Smash: This guy looks so stupid! But I needed a Life Skylander, okay? And the one I wanted, Camo, wasn’t out yet. In any case, as far as Stump Smash goes, I don’t really like him. He’s probably my least favorite. I mean, his melee attacks do lots of damage, but getting in there to do them just felt like a death wish. His little acorn thing does a debuff of speed, but that’s just not useful against normal enemies, especially since it’s hard to hit with that thing anyway. I wouldn’t recommend him.

Eruptor: He was some sort of lava man? I really wanted Sunburn but I guess Sunburn isn’t out yet? So I got this guy. His greatest strength is also his biggest weakness. His default attack is thrown at an arc, and it is really useful to be able to hit people above you while they are sniping you, because the vast majority of attacks cannot do that and you just have to run around until your reach the enemies later. Unfortunately, it can make it hard to hit dudes right in front of you. Sometimes the game realizes what you’re aiming for and compensates on his arc? But sometimes it doesn’t. It’s kind of a crapshoot. It’s also a shame his little area effect attack has such a long charge-up. Maybe if you go in that branch of his upgrades, that fixes itself? I don’t know. But it was so slow as to be nearly useless, to me anyway. He’s alright, but I’m sure there are better.

That’s all of them I bought! WILL I BUY MORE?! Probably not. I’m going to be good. At some point, though, I will have a 3DS, and buy the 3DS game, and then all bets are off!