January 19, 2012

Extended Reality! But Not Extended Well, Really.

I love Saints’ Row: The Third. Completely and seriously. Love it. I snapped up that Season Pass because I wanted more of it. I was so excited to learn that Genkibowl came out yesterday. So excited!

Genkibowl is such a disappointment of a DLC.

Okay, I’ll say this: the actual activities themselves in the DLC were fun enough. I enjoyed them, and beat them all. However, basically all of them were rehashes. Apocalypse Genki is just the normal Super Ethical Reality Climax, but with a different setting and such. Super Ethical PR Opportunity is just a slight modification on the missions with the tiger and the people fucking in the back of your car. Sexy Kitten Yarngasm is just Mayhem, but with a really, really weird vehicle. (To be fair, that one felt pretty different, but still.)

The one event that was pretty new, Sad Panda Skyblazing, was a TON of fun, though. It was fast paced, and full of the crazy that you expect out of Saints Row. That was good stuff.

But of course, there’s not much of it. There’s only two instances of all these events! And while you get a bunch of fun toys, for instance being able to summon sexy Genki fursuit people, and call in a gigantic ball of yarn at any time, you no longer have any missions to play with these toys in after you get them! There’s just so little content there!

That wouldn’t bother me if there was more dialog. I love Saints’ Row’s dialog. A lot. But the boss doesn’t say ANYTHING in these missions. This really saddens me. The Boss talks right at the end, but she’s wearing the voice thing from the opening of the game for absolutely no reason… except for the fact, of course, that they didn’t want to record all 7 in-game voices. Assholes.

I would hold off on the Season Pass if you haven’t bought it yet. This makes me worried. I certainly would not buy this DLC alone. There simply is not enough there. Hopefully this was their “quick out the door” DLC, and the others will have more story to them. I hope.

[…] think we can all agree that Genkibowl was a bad situation. It was not very good, and it left a lot of doubt as to if the money plunked […]

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