The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

SHPACE MURHEENS?!

I played some Warhammer 40K: Space Marine. I was going to play all the way through it, but it didn’t want me to, so, you know, fuck it.

Anyway, it seemed like a competent game? You ran forward and hit people with a chainsword. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? You can shoot people too, using bolters and whatnot, but there’s only one way to refill your health, and that’s by doing a dramatic takedown on an enemy, so basically you’re only shooting at dudes you can’t easily cut with your chainsword! And that’s fine. That’s certainly pretty much like what I know about Warhammer.

By far the most fun in the game that I had was when it gave me a jump pack. I got to rocket all around this area and smash the shit out of people from above. It was empowering and just totally cool. And then the game took it away from me for flimsy reasons. Come on, game! Just because I’m walking into close quarters doesn’t mean I might not be in non-close quarters LATER. Why did I have to take it off? I guess I’m basically saying that most of the game should have been designed around that Jump Pack, because it was just tons of fun.

Really, though, the game is designed around being stupidly difficult. I mean, I’m a goddamn Space Marine. I’m supposed to be this unstoppable juggernaut. On top of that, I put the game on easy. I should not be almost instantly one-shotted at the same point in a firefight many times in a row on the THIRD CHAPTER OF THE GAME! That’s just ridiculous. If that was the level of difficulty the silly game was demanding of me on easy, I didn’t really want anything to do with it. I’m a content tourist! I just want to see all the stuff! Assholes!

But yeah, the game seems fine and I’m sure the Warhammer fans were very happy about that. I was done with it pretty quick, though. But hey, what else is Gamefly for?