The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I could talk all over the place about what I love about Klonoa, but I’m only going to do one more. The point of this post is this: Klonoa has some of the best video game music I have ever heard.

First off, I mean… just listen to it. Here, try one of my more favorite tracks, Count Three. The mixture of orchestrated sounds with more classical, video game-y sounds throughout the soundtrack just works so well to make music that is definitely for a video game, but is beautiful in its own right. Both major Klonoa games use this same kind of music, and oh, it is so wonderful. I am so glad it’s untouched in the remake.

But mostly, the reason that Klonoa’s music is so wonderful is its use of Leitmotifs. Every physical area in the games has its own musical theme, and that theme is twisted and played with to set various moods depending on what is happening and the plot. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Take a listen.
One of the clearest ones in the original game is that of the original piece of music you hear, The Windmill Song. This incredibly happy piece of music is the first you’re hit with when you start playing, in the first level, and it sets the tone of the game as being a happy one, a fun one, a cute one, devoid of any sort of worry or anything of the sort. Then, later in the game, you are rushing back to your home in a race against time to prevent bad things from happening. The song playing then is The Ruin’s Air. Now, when you first listen to this piece, you may not immediately notice the connection, the Leitmotif between them. But eventually, it gets to a very clear melancholy rendition of The Windmill Song, and then you can’t help but hear it within the entire piece. The corrupting of the original song sets the mood strongly. It’s completely awesome.

It’s not always so dramatic, but it’s still constantly used to great effect. In the second game, you find yourself in the amusement park town, Joilant. The theme is happy, and reminiscent of an amusement park, easily. Later, when facing the boss of the place, you hear a mix of the Leitmotif set by the original piece in Leptio, The Flower Clown. The original song fades in and out of much more intense horns and drums, setting the tone for the battle.

I could give examples all day, but hopefully I’m making my point here. Klonoa’s music is good. So very, very good. There are few video game soundtracks I listen to, outside of stealing some boss battle themes, perhaps. I listen to the entire soundtrack to both Klonoa and Klonoa 2 on a regular basis.

I love Klonoa so much! I promise to shut up about it, though. Tomorrow: Something not about Klonoa! Maybe!

I’ve not been shy in talking about how much I love “childish done seriously.” (References: This one, and that one, and that one…) It is the sort of idea that I cannot get enough of, and it’s just one of the many reasons I love the ever-loving crap out of Klonoa.

The visuals in Klonoa are amazingly cute. Klonoa himself is visually appealing, and the main enemy type, the Mu, are completely huggable in their appearance. The cute is only additionally sealed in with the Phanomilian gibberish that everyone in the game speaks. (Though the remake has a dubbed option. I think it’s probably a good move to have one, because it’s more family-friendly that way, but I thank gods that they left in the original voice option, because I don’t think I could stand it otherwise.) The dialog itself is simple and childishly written. The game, from top to bottom, screams children’s game at a glance.

However, anyone who’s played it knows that it is not. It’s easy enough to be played by kids, sure, but the game is very serious and certainly not childish. The plot, while not the most amazing thing in the world, does get quite dark. There are deaths. There are bittersweet endings. Things don’t work out perfectly. These are not things you expect to see in a children’s game. Add to that the incredibly polished mechanics. They’re simple enough that anyone can grasp them, but they are shined to a very adult perfection. Until you play the game a few times, it may not occur to you just how perfect the control you have over Klonoa’s little struggle-in-the-air hover is, for example. You can drop it at any time, though if you hold it the whole time you get extra height. It can save you from a badly-calculated jump, or it can be used to hop off a platform and then back on to get a difficult item pickup, and other advanced maneuvers. It responds perfectly in all situations. It’s not an animation you get stuck in, like it might be in other games. It’s a very solid mechanic.

So yes, Klonoa is that excellent blend of childish feel with serious, adult considerations. It’s rare that a game hits that so perfectly. It’s rare for anything to hit it so perfectly. Klonoa does. Oh yes, it does. And I love it to death for it.

So, the Klonoa remake is out, I have it in my paws, and it’s awesome. If you own a Wii and don’t buy this $30 dollar game, you will lose much respect with me! Plus, I mean, it comes with a free taco. Just TRY to turn that down, I dare you.
Anyway, I’m warning you now: I’ve thought of at least 3 blog posts worth of Klonoa to talk about, so consider this Klonoa week or something. I’m going to talk about it a lot.

I remember my first brush with Klonoa. Jonathan and I were looking for something to rent, and he saw the game, and pointed it out. I thought it looked questionable, but he wanted it, so we rented it. Unfortunately, when we got it back, the disc was scratched to hell, and couldn’t be read past Vision 1-2. Bummed, it got returned.
A monthish or so later, I was looking for a birthday present for Jonathan, and I saw the game in a store, I think Wal-Mart. I remembered that he wanted to play it, but didn’t get to, so I bought it for him.

He played it, certainly. I know he likes the Klonoa series as well. But once I got in front of it and actually gave it a go, I was hooked. I blazed through the game. I’m pretty sure I beat it before my brother. I don’t even know if he’s beat the original. This is rare: Jonathan is much more the action gamer than I. But dammit, I loved the crap out of the game.

The sequel came out, and I rented it and beat it in one crazy weekend. It was just as good: All of the elements I loved so much were right there. We got a copy on the cheap later, and I played it some more. It was so good.

I remember searching internet desperately for the Klonoa soundtrack. I remember how awesome it was when I got Klonoa: Empire of Dreams and found a near-perfect portable rendition of one of my favorite platformers. I remember being constantly frustrated that Best Buy wouldn’t reduce to price of Klonoa: Dream Champ Tournament, sitting at full price when it was basically the last GBA game they had in stock. I remember scouring sites looking for a Klonoa doll, only to find that there was only one ever made, and it is very rare.

I remember a lot about Klonoa, but I will admit, until I started waiting and waiting for Amazon to ship this copy of Klonoa to me, it didn’t occur to me quite how much I loved the series. But I am playing through the remake, and it is just how I remember it, and I have a huge grin on my face the entire time.

I would go so far as to say that Klonoa: Door to Phantomile is my favorite platformer of all time.

It’s a joy to be replaying it.

Star Trek is a movie that could have sucked so badly. It was taking a series that is not known for action and making an action blockbuster out of it. It was applying some crazy stupid time travel plot in order to bring back the original Kirk-era Enterprise and characters. It had someone nobody had ever heard of playing the key role of Kirk himself. There was so much stacked up against this film. So much that could easily go wrong.

And none of it did.

Star Trek blew me away. (IGN.com) It was, by far, the best remake/re-imagining/reboot of a series that I can remember.

Most of the time, when bringing a series to the screen or rebooting it, you are making a devil’s bargain. If you play too close to the original canon and concepts, you’re tying yourself up creatively, meaning you can do less that is interesting and effective with the film. Newcomers won’t be interested, because so much of it will exclude them. And no matter how good a job you do, you’re always going to get SOMETHING wrong, which will piss off the fans, who will always recognize every little mistake. On the other side, if you cast off everything the original had besides the premise, you gain some appeal to the mainstream, but you’re still going to turn people off, because they’ll assume they need prior knowledge. Additionally, your fans, who are your main source of income and who are the reason you picked up the IP, will hate it, and not support you. There seems to be nothing you can do.

Still, Star Trek found a way. If you were to read its time travel, alternate reality plot on paper, it would, seriously, sound like the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard of. However, they treated it not only with respect, but intelligence, and the result was amazing to behold. By establishing clear connections to the canon as well as establishing very clearly WHY what’s happening on the screen is not canon as the fans know it in very Star Trek terms, it freed up the movie to take any liberties it wanted. It let them make the movie their own. It let them set up a Star Trek movie that was full of balls-to-the-wall action that didn’t upset fans, and could even surprise them.
All the characters you love are here. The cast is amazingly well done. They are new takes by new actors, certainly, but they’re also very clearly the roles they are cast in. Each person is different, but completely fitting. They are who they are playing. Somehow, they even managed to fit in almost all of the characters’ well-known catch-phrases in places where it didn’t seem joke-y or like a wink to the audience. Hearing Scotty tell us that “She can’t take much more, Captain!” is awesome in a fan service way, but when he says it in a completely action-filled situation where it’s extremely visually clear that she really CAN’T take much more, you get to have your cake and eat it too. The only downside, really, is that you’ve got this great ensemble cast, but the movie is Kirk and Spock’s show. Everyone gets a little time in the spotlight, but it’s not nearly enough, especially for Bones.
The action, too, was really good action. I watched Wolverine: Origins, which was supposed to be an action-blockbuster, but it was downright tame compared to most of the action sequences in Star Trek. The fistfights were brutal, the firefights were intense, and the ship to ship combat was, somehow, exciting while not betraying the almost time-honored tradition of the ships seemingly staying in one place and just firing at once another.

Will fans as a whole bash the film? I don’t know. As a lover of Next Gen and general appreciator of Star Trek, I loved the crap out of this movie. I know Spaeth, who is a huge Trekkie, enough of one to watch all of Voyager and Enterprise, loved it as well. If an action-y Star Trek seems like something you will enjoy, I will tell you: This won’t disappoint. It is good stuff.

Well, it’s that time of year again. It’s the time to dust off our copies of the Mother series and dance in joy as we revel in the genius of Shigesato Itoi and his team of talented game makers…

Oh, wait, let me try that again…

Well, it is the day of mothers, a time to celebrate those of the female persuasion who raised us.
My mother and I don’t always get along. Not only for the obvious reasons of the not agreeing with the whole transsexual thing I have going on, but just in general. She respects my advice in dealing with her own life, but wouldn’t dream of the idea that I might have some idea of what I’m doing with my own. She commands me to be happy, she refuses to meet me in the middle on issues and get things done in a way we can both agree with, she drags me into her silly schemes to do labor for her enjoyment and hers alone…
But everyone has things they can’t stand about their mothers, I’m sure. It’s clear that my mother cares quite a bit about me, and I care quite a bit about her. Perhaps sometimes to my detriment, I care what she thinks. I do my best to be good in her eyes. She’s helped to give me a college education, a very comfortable life where I don’t have to worry about the little things…

I do love her. I love her quite a bit. And though we don’t always see eye to eye, I hope she knows that.
I hope living my life my own way won’t completely destroy our relationship.

But… yeah. Mother’s day. Go hug a mother. And have a good day in general.

So, way back when, as you may recall, I bought a whole bunch of games on the cheap side from a Best Buy sale. What amazes me about said sale is that the one game I bought completely on a whim, Neopets Puzzle Adventure, is the one I’ve been playing the most. Sorry, other, probably better games!

The concept of the game is a simple one. “Hey, that Puzzle Quest was popular. Let’s take that and put Neopets in it to make it MOAR POPULAR!” It’s a recipe for success, honestly. I haven’t played Neopets in years, but from what I remember, it, as a franchise, is totally about little games like this anyway, and weird little plots. I am also of the camp that believes that, if you’re going to try to make a licensed game on the cheap, you might as well completely rip off a good game, so the game comes off fun. So I was all for this idea. In execution, there are many flaws in the game, but it’s so damn fun I find it really easy to overlook.

First off, I was unhappy I was unable to make an Aisha for my character. What Neopet you are has ABSOLUTELY no bearing on the game, but that’s the Neopet I had back in the day, and I even have an Aisha doll in my room. So I was kind of disappointed. The game does have an awesomely bad random name generator, though, which I enjoyed. My character ended up being named something like Aiirepyaa. A good random name generator is so much fun. I will forever thank Wizard 101 for giving me the name Rachel Sparklewhisper, for example.
Once you make some character, there’s some plot about getting a ship ready and then there’s some amulet summoning meteor monsters or something. It’s all pretty pointless, much like the Puzzle Quest plot. Still, again if memory serves, it seems pretty true to plots in Neopets, so I could see fans enjoying it muchly.

The game itself is a modification of Reversi or Othello. The rules are exactly from that game, and if you know how to play it well, you will win. There is an element of randomness, in that if you flip a whole bunch of pieces, you create a “shockwave” that flips over a random piece and can trigger others flipping, but this random element seems to always be in the player’s favor. I didn’t see any complete bullshit of the computer getting shockwaves and coming back from behind. Basically, if you don’t know how to play Reversi well, you will get totally destroyed. The first few matched I lost obscenely because I didn’t know the tricks to playing a good game, but once I figured them out, I never really lost.
The main problem and blessing of using Reversi as the base is that it’s a game that you can’t fiddle with much. In Puzzle Quest, you can have powers that drastically change the playfield because in a few turns, the playfield will be completely random again. In Reversi, changing too much completely and utterly breaks the game. The game attempts to mix it up by having different board shapes, which do help, But the powers, which come in the form of collectible PetPets you gather during the plot, are not very varied. There are only so many things you can do, and certain ones are clearly the best. Granted, anything with Stun properties were clearly the best in Puzzle Quest, but there were still other powers worth your time. Less so in this.
Additionally, leveling up does nothing to your character. Since there’s no “HP” or anything in a game of Reversi, I can’t see anything that gaining levels does for the actual gameplay. It seems to just be a method to unlock codes to get items in Neopets proper, which is probably a good incentive for someone who actually plays Neopets, but I basically felt gypped out of the feeling of progression I go to RPG elements for.

Still, I can’t deny that the game is really fun. It’s missing the “bullshit!” moments of the computer pulling out a win from its ass a la Puzzle Quest because Reversi is a game of complete knowledge, and the computer can’t screw you in that way. There’s also no denying that Reversi is just a fun game to begin with, and the perfect game to play while listening to a podcast, something that really elevates a game in my book. If the Neopets theme won’t drive you crazy and you’re jonesing for puzzle-y action, I can easily recommend this game. It might be a harder sell at the $20 it is on Steam, but at the $10 price point I got it at on DS, it was very, very worth it.

So, Wednesday, we did another Hamster run. This time, everyone was there and everything! Though Ryme didn’t know we were doing it, so he was in, but didn’t have long. So we rushed in, determined to Hodgekill!

I made my first mistake in one of these runs, accidentally hitting the shortcut key on a choice adventure to enter the Marketplace, pointlessly wasting a turn. That really frustrated me. I would have been more frustrated if that would have kept us from getting a Hamster! That was the biggest worry when I learned that we didn’t get it. We didn’t go fast enough for a Hamster. But we were over by at least 4 turns, so I was kind of off the hook.
Apparently, in our efforts to go fast and get poor Ryme to bed, we were wasting a lot of turns opening the Tent that we didn’t need to use. I didn’t really notice, but apparently that was so. If we had gone incredibly slowly, we could have gotten it with time to spare… but, alas…

Still, the Hamster run can be a very tedious thing, so I actually didn’t mind the rushing. It made it better. Though it was a shame we didn’t get the prize we wanted, we still got the consolation prize, Hodgman’s disgusting technicolor overcoat. A solid item in its own right! It would have really helped me out during my basement run.

Then, the unthinkable happened. We rolled for the coat, and I won it.

I hate rolling for anything. I don’t feel like I should be greedy, and it feels greedy, even though I did as much work as anyone else. (Well, okay, Val did much more work because she’s funding everything and farmed all the meat. But everyone else rolling for it? Same amount of work.) At the same time, I do enjoy a bit of phat lewt. And I do deserve nice things. So though I held out, I threw my hat in the ring for the roll at the last second, and somehow came out with the coat. Winning immediately embarrassed me. But I attempted to hold all that back and accept the coat with pride. Yay coat!
I also managed to, kind of at random, get the last piece of the Hyperborean Hobo Habiliments, Frosty’s Old Silk Hat, via a giveaway at the start. So that’s nice too! Yay gear!

Still, once I start ascending again, I won’t be able to equip any of it! But still, it’s nice to have. It’s nice to have in-game goals. Yes indeed.

I can’t do a raid next week due to working, but hopefully they can find someone to fill in for me and whatnot. Still, I’m in this until everyone is done. And then I’m totally going to ascend and try out my huge stockpile of goodies I’ve accumulated.

So my job is honestly kind of boring. It takes very, very little brain power to do my job, at least for me. I’ve been doing it on autopilot for so long, it just occurs without me thinking about it.
With this in mind, you’d think it would be CRAZY EASY to get a lot of thinking done during work! I could do all kinds of brainstorming and all kinds of deep thought-ing, right?

I wish.

I don’t know, but doing those sorts of things just sort of turns my brain off. It’s not a bad thing, perse. It makes it feel like it’s going faster, same as being entertained would, I guess. I’m mostly just going over and over what needs to be done. I’m reading off in my head a map of where everyone is so I can pre-figure out where to send everyone and estimate when people are going to be done. I’m reminding myself over and over that I need to go pick up this, or I need to do that, or I’m almost done.

That’s the majority of it. That’s all my brain does. But of course, sometimes I think of other things. Silly things. Amazing silly things. Example: Tonight, all I could think of is how badly I wanted to hug the Lucario in the video in this post. (You can see the guy in the Lucario suit really early, you don’t have to watch the whole thing or anything.) I watched the first little bit of this video very early in the day before work, but out of nowhere, it kept coming back to me AT work. That’s just such a really great suit. I know there are furry people who are all down on how overdone Lucario is, but dammit, I still like. Very much so. And that Lucario needs a hug!

I am so great. Still, I suppose it’s better than the nights when I get something incredibly depressing or stressful stuck in my head… which does happen. Because I am so great. So great. Read my blog, I’m great.

…okay, sorry. I’ll shut up now.

In the Browser RPG front, I’ve been playing new stuff! (Well, besides Legends of Zork, which I still keep playing constantly. It’s so flawed, but I love how quick and easy it is to play. Shame on me.) And that new stuff is Alpha Bounce, the Breakout RPG. It’s proven to be a fairly completely compelling experience, and it has the benefit of not taking much of your day, either. I see that as a benefit, anyway.

Yeah, so, there’s some plot about how you’re a prisoner and you can gain your freedom by doing a dangerous job: mining in a “Mining Envelope.” This envelope happens to look like a Breakout paddle. So you go around the big map, buying upgrades for your ship so you can move farther, and just generally breaking blocks, getting money, etc.

There’s a fairly large world map. Every area you’ve cleared before it slightly highlighted, and every one you haven’t is darker. So you slowly work your way out, trying to clear the whole map. Meanwhile, you get missions. “Clear all these areas for a cash reward” seems to be the most common, but there are also ones like “check this space for salvage” or “answer a distress call from here” or whatnot. They basically end up being the same thing: Playing a game of Breakout. But at least you always have something to work towards, which is something I insist upon.

The Breakout-play itself is pretty solid. There are many different types of blocks, some of which require different strategies or upgrades to your Mining Envelope to take down. These blocks drop a staggering array of different power-ups. There are the standard ones, like Multi-ball and Extension, of course. Some power-ups, though, are completely game-breaking, like Spawner, which lets you spawn a new ball whenever you click the mouse, or Laser, which lets you fire lasers that destroy blocks for the rest of the level. Still, I don’t think that’s a problem. It feels GREAT when you get one of these uber-powerups and the stage you’re on goes from difficult to done in like 5 seconds. There are also plenty of other power ups with weird abilities that you have to quickly compensate for. I got one that turned my ball into a beam of light, and when it hit my paddle, it just teleported to the top of the screen and came back down again, instead of bouncing off of it. It really changed what I was doing. It was neat.
The controls itself are sometimes iffy, though. You move the paddle with your mouse. (You can move it with the keyboard, but I found it moved too slow to be effective.) This causes problems because, if you get too excited and zip the mouse to one side, it’ll move outside of the play area and fuck up your control. That’s the main unfortunate part of the controls. Otherwise, left click launches the ball and uses any power-up abilities you may have. Escape or P pauses. Space fires a missile from your missile stock, once you get that upgrade. And that’s it. I mean, it’s breakout. It’s not THAT complicated.

The main problem I have with Alpha Bounce (and it’s not really a problem, more a concern for a, I assume, small company that made a game I’m enjoying) is its business model. Like most Browser RPGs, you get a limited amount of plays per day. Each day, you’re supplied with three “Liquid Hydrogen Capsules” which let you make three trips, and play three levels. Liquid Capsules apparently only last for one day, so you can’t stock them up. However, you can buy “Solid Hydrogen Capsules” in game, which persist until you use them. You can also slide the company a little money to get a huge cache of Solid Capsules, so you could play all day. The first transaction scores you a permanent extra life, too, to make the game a little easier.
The main problem with that is I will never pay for extra turns. The reason I love this games is because I love how they don’t demand much of my time. I am COMPLETELY fine with only playing three levels a day. Overjoyed in fact. And since they don’t have any other ways in place to get any money from me, I probably won’t be throwing any cash their way. Which is a shame. I enjoy supporting these games, especially when I get perks for it. But I dunno, if it’s not something that will make the game more fun, it’s a harder sell.

But yeah, overall, I’m having a lot of fun with Alpha Bounce. I recall hearing that at some point, the game takes away all of your free lives, which will… probably kill the game for me. I often need all three lives to clear a stage. But yeah, if you need a breakout fix, Alpha Bounce is a great way to get it. Yep!

Oh, hi! It’s angry rant time! Yaaaaaay!

A long time ago, in an effort to promote awesome multiplayer gaming with the boyfriend, I purchased a copy of Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory for the PC. The Co-op missions are awesome, I heard! It was cheap, too! So I just picked it up (a special edition for cheap, no less, in a fancy case) and installed, ready to give it a try!

Ubisoft’s PC net code was so horrible, so god-awful, that not only was I unable to EVER play multiplayer with Brer, but both of us were never able to get into a multiplayer game PERIOD. It was retarded and frustrating, and contacting their customer support only told me to open all the ports. I did that already, jackasses! And I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT TO BEGIN WITH!
The purchase wasn’t a complete loss. I went on to play through most of the single player, and since I had never played a Splinter Cell before, I had a pretty good time at it. But it made me kind of angry.

Now, I realized recently that Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter had a co-op mode. Now, Brer and I tried the demo for this in co-op a while back. There were some hiccups, but I assumed it was because my computer at the time really shouldn’t have been running the game. No, now I had a really powerful new PC, and I could run it fine, and it was a mere ten bucks on Steam. What could go wrong?

To attempt to figure out some of the settings in the game before we tried to hook it up, I booted the game up a moment ago. I go into the multiplayer, and it tells me to log in to my Gamespy account. Okay, I say. Sure. I log in. Nope, doesn’t work. Well, I guess I don’t remember it. Retrieve password… nope, no account. Okay, I’ll make one… I can’t make one because the account name is already taken. BUT there was no account. It couldn’t retrieve the password. Huh?
At this point, I log in to the GameSpy website. I do this fine. I have poetfox, the account on GameSpy. It’s mine. I go back to the game, having confirmed I got all the information right. It still won’t let me in.

At this point, I’m getting kinda annoyed. I am poetfox. ESPECIALLY when I have the account, I should be called poetfox in game, even if it’s just a game between me and Brer. So I go to the Ubisoft help site. It gives me this bullshit.

How the fuck can Ubisoft think such obviously intensely and incredibly shitty programming is okay? GRAW is a game INTENDED to be played online often, and they can’t even get a simple thing like the LOGIN working properly? Are you fucking serious? What’s more, I don’t have any options to create a game outside of using GameSpy. So now I have to make some bullshit throwaway account I don’t want to make just because Ubisoft is so fucking lazy.

I’m kind of fuming with anger right now, if you haven’t noticed. Ugh. The fact that I’ll probably have to make a THIRD account if I ever pick up GRAW2 just makes me seethe in anger all the more.

On top of all this, and this is probably the bigger problem, I can’t play the single player game either. Somehow, a patch to this game literally DISABLED the ability to command your squad, something you can’t beat the game without! The only solution is to manually edit settings files, which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

Fuck you, Ubisoft. Try programming your games sometime.