The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Oh, hi! It’s angry rant time! Yaaaaaay!

A long time ago, in an effort to promote awesome multiplayer gaming with the boyfriend, I purchased a copy of Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory for the PC. The Co-op missions are awesome, I heard! It was cheap, too! So I just picked it up (a special edition for cheap, no less, in a fancy case) and installed, ready to give it a try!

Ubisoft’s PC net code was so horrible, so god-awful, that not only was I unable to EVER play multiplayer with Brer, but both of us were never able to get into a multiplayer game PERIOD. It was retarded and frustrating, and contacting their customer support only told me to open all the ports. I did that already, jackasses! And I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT TO BEGIN WITH!
The purchase wasn’t a complete loss. I went on to play through most of the single player, and since I had never played a Splinter Cell before, I had a pretty good time at it. But it made me kind of angry.

Now, I realized recently that Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter had a co-op mode. Now, Brer and I tried the demo for this in co-op a while back. There were some hiccups, but I assumed it was because my computer at the time really shouldn’t have been running the game. No, now I had a really powerful new PC, and I could run it fine, and it was a mere ten bucks on Steam. What could go wrong?

To attempt to figure out some of the settings in the game before we tried to hook it up, I booted the game up a moment ago. I go into the multiplayer, and it tells me to log in to my Gamespy account. Okay, I say. Sure. I log in. Nope, doesn’t work. Well, I guess I don’t remember it. Retrieve password… nope, no account. Okay, I’ll make one… I can’t make one because the account name is already taken. BUT there was no account. It couldn’t retrieve the password. Huh?
At this point, I log in to the GameSpy website. I do this fine. I have poetfox, the account on GameSpy. It’s mine. I go back to the game, having confirmed I got all the information right. It still won’t let me in.

At this point, I’m getting kinda annoyed. I am poetfox. ESPECIALLY when I have the account, I should be called poetfox in game, even if it’s just a game between me and Brer. So I go to the Ubisoft help site. It gives me this bullshit.

How the fuck can Ubisoft think such obviously intensely and incredibly shitty programming is okay? GRAW is a game INTENDED to be played online often, and they can’t even get a simple thing like the LOGIN working properly? Are you fucking serious? What’s more, I don’t have any options to create a game outside of using GameSpy. So now I have to make some bullshit throwaway account I don’t want to make just because Ubisoft is so fucking lazy.

I’m kind of fuming with anger right now, if you haven’t noticed. Ugh. The fact that I’ll probably have to make a THIRD account if I ever pick up GRAW2 just makes me seethe in anger all the more.

On top of all this, and this is probably the bigger problem, I can’t play the single player game either. Somehow, a patch to this game literally DISABLED the ability to command your squad, something you can’t beat the game without! The only solution is to manually edit settings files, which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

Fuck you, Ubisoft. Try programming your games sometime.