January 31, 2010

A lovely day to buy a TV.

When the big snow storm of winter comes, what does someone do? Buy a TV. Obviously. Mass Effect 2 was pissing me off. Why? It was so good, but I couldn’t read a damn thing in it. It had HD Tiny Text EVERYWHERE. I couldn’t level up because I couldn’t read what skills did. I […]

January 30, 2010

IoTM Review: A knife, I guess?

I… think I just don’t get this month’s Twilight Heroes IoTM. I mean, okay, it’s obvious that the Stainless Steelbreaker has some good stats. The Weakens Opponents is really useful, especially if you’re doing the crazy high level stuff. But man, I don’t know. There’s just nothing really thematically interesting, to me anyway, about an […]

January 29, 2010

Who’s the best killer bird? Hm? Who’s a good boy?

I have played some Split-Screen 360 Borderlands! It leaves something to be desired. For one, you can’t do system link split-screen or online split-screen, so my dreams of buying a second copy and setting two people up in Spants’ room and two up in Jonathan’s were dashed. Still, I’m glad I found that out before […]

January 28, 2010

I didn’t see Salacious Crumb anywhere.

Take a moment, and listen to some of the music of Halo 3: ODST right now. Listen to this, and this, and this. You’ve basically experienced the best part of the game, in my opinion. Seriously, that soundtrack is amazing. It takes a game series where my brother and I, when playing through it, would […]

January 27, 2010


Before my session today, I had homework to do. I had to write a script about how I was going to talk to my parents about the whole gender identity thing. This seemed like a great idea. I mean, I’m a writer. I write from time to time. Some people might even say I write […]

January 26, 2010

When I was a shorty, my father would sit down with me every night and say…

At times, one Matthew Essner can get crushing really hard on fairly cool actors, and follow them into movies that he knows are going to be god awful, just because he’s there. This happened with Paul Bettany, and thus I found myself going to see the movie Legion, which, by all likelihood, was going to […]

January 25, 2010

Alcohols should not have guns.

I have played John Woo Presents: Stranglehold. I have shot tons of dudes with guns. I did not beat the game. After two levels, I was kind of fed up with it. And what do we do with games we are fed up with? If you said “Send it back to Gamefly” you win! I […]

January 24, 2010

Conan (Not the Detective or the Barbarian) Support Argument

Shockingly, I ended up watching the last episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien. How did this happen? Well, you know, friends pull me places and I watch things. I wouldn’t have watched it by myself, but I was pretty glad I got to. I dunno, Conan is a damn funny guy, and he […]

January 23, 2010

Nerves, Nervous

I don’t claim to have always been a rock, someone who has no issues and who doesn’t break. Far from it. But after the past few years, I’ve gotten my confidence back, and I got to a point where I felt like I wasn’t going to fall apart every day, and where I wasn’t going […]

January 22, 2010

Who are these so-called “sky explorers”?

I read that let’s play on Red Rescue Team, and then I got all lame and bought Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, because I was really in the mood for it and you can play as a Vulpix in that one. All that is kind of lame, but I did it anyway, and you […]