The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I beat CODBLOPS.
I am on the cutting edge of video games.

I remember a time when I was in fucking love with Call of Duty. Call of Duty 4 was so good! I couldn’t get enough. I put in serious multiplayer time. I enjoyed the campaign. It was solid.

Those times are so long gone. CODBLOPS was not completely a failure in gameplay, but I was kind of bored the entire way through, because I have played this shooter before, and everything on top of that shooter was so stupid that it couldn’t engage me at all. I mean, I had some guns. I shot some mans. What more could I want, right? Apparently it’s a twist. I still enjoy shooters, I really do, but you need something to make that basic shooting interesting. Some games do it with a gimmick, such as, I dunno, Singularity, so that you have something to keep you going. Alternatively, you need a plot that engages you. Something that entertains and you want to complete the shooting to see more of, such as, I dunno, Battlefield: Bad Company 2. CODBLOPS was just shooting, and the story… ugh, the story.

The story in this game was just flat-out boring. Not for one second did I care why Mr. Protagonist was being interrogated. This made it so I really didn’t care about why anything was going on, and I was okay with that. I was find with just mindlessly shooting dudes while I listened to a podcast.
Then the endgame happened.
Even without me paying attention, the whole end of the game was just so stupid, I was blown away. Like, okay, even if you really want supernatural superscience bullshit in your Call of Duty, and you believe that this guy can have a magic man implanted in his head, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HIM ON ANY MORE MISSIONS? You have no way to be sure he’s safe anymore. Don’t murder him if he co-operates or anything, but don’t let him DRIVE A HELICOPTER THAT CAN TAKE OUT EVERYONE ON THIS VERY IMPORTANT MISSION. I just… couldn’t believe it. Just… wow. Especially when you already had other characters you had played as who could have gone on the mission instead of Mason. It was just… so dumb. So dumb.

Plus, after you beat it, it goes into this ridiculous Zombie map where a JFK impersonator was yelling about how much he loves sniper rifles at me.

I was pretty glad to send that back to Gamefly.

Awhile back, using free Microsoft points I got from a cheap Live Gold card, I bought Rock of Ages, because it looked silly.

It was silly.

Rock of Ages is an amazing game, but it is also a very flawed game. The campaign is not very fun. The AI is either steamrolled or does the steamrolling, and it rarely felt, to me, like there was anything in between. I didn’t get very far in the campaign because of this.

However, Essner and I played splitscreen versus for a whole afternoon once, and that was a blast. This was not just because I won most of the games, because I did have an advantage for a lot of it, seeing as I understood how the game worked. This was because the game is exciting and tense against human opponents. You can actually trick them, or trip them up with your builds. A human player can’t just decide to be able to make pixel-perfect turns whenever they need to. It’s pretty great.

Rock of Ages is basically a really, really weird tower defenseish game. You start by building defenses on a path to where your leader is housed. These are things like catapults, that deal damage, towers, which are barricades that have to be destroyed if someone wants through, or cows, which work to push things out of the way. You build until your boulder is ready, and then you roll the boulder down the track your opponent just filled with traps to try to hit their gate at a high speed and, eventually, kill them. This system is a bit flawed: It’s hard not to break the gate after three hits, even if you do terrible. It more comes down to slowing the opponent down so you get that third hit in before they do.

Again, these traps and the strategy they make are just stupid against an AI opponent, but when you can really mix up your strategy, and switch in the middle of the match to totally throw your human opponent, who is incapable of robotic maneuvering off? Or when you somehow slip past a horrible gauntlet of seemingly inescapable traps without a scratch? It’s totally fun. It helps that the game is kind of this super silly mashup of internet memes, history, and Monty Python animations as well. It looks fun, and it is fun again your friends. I got my money’s worth on that afternoon of versus play, personally. I may never play it again, or may only play more versus, but I had a really good time.

A long time ago, I played, and apparently did not write about, an iPad game called Dungeon Defenders: First Wave. It was an alright game: Tower Defense with a little action twist. (This was far before games like Trenched, of course.) It was fun enough, but holy shit, the controls on the game were AWFUL. This was clearly not a game created with the iPad in mind, and yet here was the version of the game on the iPad. I wanted a controller badly. The virtual controls were just complete ass. What more, the game was clearly designed for multiplayer, which just wasn’t going to happen on the iPad.

Fast forward to now. Aesa, being the person that Aesa is, bought me a copy of Dungeon Defenders on the PC so we could all play together. Finally, a chance to play the game with a controller! I plugged in my Xbox controller and prepared to defend a dungeon.

OH WAIT THERE’S A BUG THAT MAKES GAMEPAD CONTROL NOT WORK. Fantastic.

So after being INSANELY ANGRY about that for quite some time, as I am likely to do about the stupidest issues in PC games, we finally got down to it and played. And then wiped like twice on the second map. And then quit for the night.
Basically, we’re awesome.

I tried the Huntress, who really needs to pull up her pants very badly. (Seriously, once I noticed this, I got really annoyed that she was my character. She’s super-deformed stylized cute. Why the fuck can I see her ass crack? What the hell.) She specializes in towers that are really kind of limited use items, like land mines and gas traps. You have to keep feeding them repair money to keep them going, but they’re quite powerful when they go off. Also, her weaponry seems really damn good for being at a distance. Much more powerful than the Wizard’s stuff, even if she has to reload from time to time. She was pretty fun, though she would be complete and utter garbage if you were playing by yourself. She works well in a group, though, because everyone else has basic towers covered.

Even though we were REALLY TERRIBLE (seriously, the difficulty much ramp up hugely, or the game must have been much, much easier on iPad, because I had no trouble with this level alone) it was still a pretty fun game. I don’t know if I would have paid what they’re asking for it, though. Seems more like a sale sort of game, though I’m glad I get to play with everyone now. Apparently they’re having special events and ranked challenges and I don’t know what? None of that really interests me. Just playing with my friends. This game lets you do that. Thus, it succeeds on that level.

I have done many things. However, one of the things I have done is beat the story mode of Anomaly: Warzone Earth HD on my iTronic Pad. Another thing I will have done in just a few moments is write a blog post about that experience.

Anomaly basically takes the idea of “WHAT IF YOU WERE THE ENEMIES IN A TOWER DEFENSE GAME?!” and attempts to make a whole game out of it. This is an interesting premise that hasn’t been done before! The result is fun but, unfortunately, not really a long-lasting fun like Tower Defense proper. At least in my opinion.

Basically, you have a little squad of six slots. You can place various units in them. APCs fire quickly and are general all-around units. Tanks fire slowly, but have heavy armor. Crawlers fire slowly, but fire very damaging rockets. Shield units put a recharging Halo-like shield on the units in front and behind it. Supply units spawn power ups when you get kills. Dragon tanks are super expensive, but can attack two towers at once and I think have a minimal DoT effect. You buy and arrange these units in these setups, then you move them about the map. You don’t have direct control, but you can basically plan where they will turn on the roads in the blasted cities you fight in, and can change that plan on the fly. For most missions, you are either trying to simply get through an area alive, or take out specific targets along your route.
This would be kind of boring, but the game gives you a bunch of powerups to play with. You can heal your units, or set up a smoke screen to make enemy fire less accurate, or set up a false unit for enemies to fire at. The real strategy of the game is deploying these correctly, because they are a limited resource, and are basically the only way of assuring you aren’t constantly losing units and not having enough money to replace them.

The interface in this game is just PERFECT for the iPad. I’m sure it’s a fun game on PC too, but I hear you have to move a little guy around to pick up powerups, which seems much less fun. Seriously, though, the interface is responsive and you understand it immediately. The game looks fantastic and doesn’t lag or have any issues like that whatsoever.

However, you really just kind of figure out what to do, and then the fun is gone. The campaign is 15 missions, and by the end of it, it really felt like they had used up all their variety ideas. Of course, they did a good job keeping it varied until then, but there wasn’t much left to do after that. So it was good it ended there. The game keeps an overall campaign score to compete with your friends, and has difficulty levels, of course, so if you want to eke out all the fun you can, that stuff is there. There’s also some sort of “Squad mode” which I assume is some sort of endless thing I don’t really want to play, so I haven’t. But, you know, they tried to make it worth your money.

I had a lot of fun with the game, but I also paid a dollar for it. It’s normally sold at a premium, and as much as I had fun, I dunno if it’s got enough staying power to be worth more than a buck or two. I probably wouldn’t have been happy to buy it on Steam for the 10 dollars it originally was. Then again, maybe I would be. I like game experiences that are fun, but don’t overstay their welcome, and this was that, to be sure. In any case, if the idea sounds appealing, it’s done really well, and you should try to play it sometime. It is fun. Just don’t expect it to last you a real long time.

Let me tell you a story. It is a story of deceit, deception, and death. It is a story of broken bonds, and broken promises. It is a story of one town’s struggle to survive against insurmountable odds. It is a story of ponies.

Mafia Little Pony: The Avatars of Discord

It all starts with a scream, a loud scream, from the library. It’s an inappropriate wake-up call for the town of Ponyville, but most go about their daily lives, only momentarily wondering what happened. They do not take the scream as the omen it is. Five friends, however, do heed the call. They rush to the library, panting for breath, looking to one another before shoving the door open.
The scene before them was not a pleasant one. To one side of the scene, a crying unicorn, her purple hair mussed from just getting out of bed. This pony’s name was Twilight Sparkle, and this was the worst moment of her life thus far. Before her was a young dragon. His eyes looked shocked. His expression was mostly vacant now. He wasn’t moving. Dragon’s blood oozed slowly from his neck, dripping onto the stack of books he must have been gathering for his morning’s work.
Spike was dead.
The five gathered friends gasped. They expected some sort of problem, but not this. The ponies stood there dumbfounded, unsure what to do. Fluttershy started crying, at the back of the pack. There was silence but for the sounds of sobbing.
Rarity finally broke the silence. “This is terrible.”
“Who would have done something like this?” Rainbow Dash asked, anger simmering in vocal undertones.
“It couldn’t have been anyone around here. Nopony in Ponyville would do… would do that,” Applejack said.
“I…” Everyone turned. Twilight was getting back on her hooves. “I will figure out who did this. I will bring whoever did this to justice.”
“And we’ll be right here to help you,” Applejack said.
“All of us,” added Rarity.
“Look, in his mouth!” Pinkie Pie declared.
Everyone turned. There seemed to be a piece of paper stuck in the poor dragon’s mouth. Twilight picked it up and read it aloud.
“My Faithful Student, I’m afraid send you terrible news. After your battle with Discord, I thought peace had been returned to Equestria. But I was wrong. Discord had a backup plan. He summoned six spirits, avatars of horrible things, into the world to destroy the Elements of Harmony if they were to be used to stop him again. Unfortunately, that means they are coming after you and your friends, bearers of the Elements. My magic has tracked them to Ponyville, and I have erected a barrier around the town to seal them away. Unfortunately, that also seals in you and the citizens of the town. You must find these avatars and destroy them. It will not be easy. They are using a powerful enchantment to make them look like any other pony. They could be anyone in town, even someone you know. They will attack you if they find you. Enclosed is a spell to hide your identities. Use it to move around the town in safety, find these threats, and stop them. I apologize for putting you in such danger once again, but I know that you, and your friends, can stop this if you all work together. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.”
The six ponies looked at each other. Then Twilight spoke again. “Spike was killed to keep us from getting this message. They didn’t want the Princess to warn us.”
“Poor Spike… even in his last breath, helping out…” Fluttershy said, sniffling.
“Girls, we have to stop these avatars. Let me prepare the spell. Rarity, could you give me a hoof?”
“Of course, darling, though you’re a much better magician than me.”
“We’ll… take care of Spike,” Applejack said.
“Yeah, he deserves better than to be sprawled on the floor like that,” Pinkie Pie added.
“Thank you…” said Twilight, taking a breath before turning to her magic.
It didn’t take long until Twilight had all of them enchanted. They looked at each other in wonder.
“This is amazing!” said Pinkie Pie. “I can’t even tell who you all are! Who am I, huh? Do you know?”
“Yes, Pinkie, we know it’s you,” Twilight said, “but once we leave each other’s presence, it’s going to be near impossible to tell.”
“I don’t like all this hiding. Let’s just go out there and blast them,” Rainbow Dash said.
“But we could hurt someone else!” said Fluttershy.
“Right,” said Twilight, “so we’ll have to be sneaky for now. Let’s split up, and gather information. We can figure out who these avatars are in no time if we all work together.”
They all nodded, and headed out the door, only to stop immediately. There was a gathering at the town square.
“…need to be stopped.” said Mayor Mare. “We’re all trapped here, and I have been told we will not be freed until this crisis is taken care of.”
The crowd was complaining loudly.
“We must take this into our own hooves. We must save ourselves.”
There was a rumble of agreement.
“So I am enacting a rare clause of our town charter. Every day we will vote on who we think is one of these creatures infesting our town. Voting is mandatory for everypony. Whoever wins will be dealt with quickly. Soon, with all your help, we’ll have solved the problem. I’m sure of it.”
There was another rumble of agreement. Twilight shuddered. She had read the town charter, and she assumed nobody else knew how serious those rules were. “Well… we’ll, just have to find them faster, before anyone else gets killed…” she told herself. “I hope…”

—

Players will either be citizens of Ponyville, one of the Mane 6, or an Avatar of Discord. Normal citizens of Ponyville have no powers, but have been empowered to vote and lynch, as per usual. The Mane 6 are the powered citizens, and can also vote and such, of course. The Avatars of Discord are the Mafia. They get a night chat, as per usual, and a night kill. They are also empowered.
The avatars win if they kill all of the Mane 6, or establish a voting majority. The town wins if all the avatars are destroyed.

Days are the standard 72 hours. Nights are the standard 48. Ties in voting are broken first by who has the most members of the Mane 6 voting for them, and if there is still a tie, then by dice roll.

The Mane 6
Twilight Sparkle: Representing the Element of Magic, Twilight is a master spellcaster. Once per night, she may cast a scrying spell and inspect a player, finding out their affiliation as either citizen, avatar, or member of the Mane 6.

Applejack: Representing the Element of Honesty, Applejack is a hard working, athletic pony with significant skills with a lasso. Once per night, Applejack may lasso and tie up a player, keeping them from using any powers they may or may not have that night.

Rainbow Dash: Representing the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash’s speed is unmatched. Rainbow Dash may choose to perform a Sonic Rainboom during the night. This will be announced publicly, though who used the ability will not be revealed. That day, her vote will count for double, though again, this won’t be revealed publicly unless it breaks a tie or something of that nature. However, the act of doing such a complicated trick will tire her out, and she won’t be able to use the ability the next night.

Fluttershy: Representing the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy has learned many ways to be nice. Once per night, Fluttershy can pick a player. If that player were to die from a nightkill, Fluttershy’s care will save them instead, leaving them alive. If she saves someone, though, she’ll be exhausted, and won’t be able to pick another player to save for two nights of rest.

Pinkie Pie: Representing the Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie knows how to throw a party. Once per day, Pinkie Pie can send a message to the GM requesting an invitation to a private party be sent to a player. She can then night chat with that player the following night, though the identities of either side of the conversation will not be revealed by the GM.

Rarity: Representing the Element of Generosity, Rarity knows that good fashion can be helpful in even the most dire of times. During the night Rarity can elect to create a stunning outfit for a player, and send it to them as a gift. That player will wear the outfit the next day, and be looking so overwhelmingly fabulous that nobody will be able to vote for them. That a person is wearing such an outfit will be public knowledge. However, once Rarity has given such a gift, she won’t be able to give one the next night, as it takes time to create a new outfit.

The Avatars of Discord
Avatar of Evil: This spirit has been blessed with the ability to look into the darkness of one’s soul, and find out what’s truly there. Once per night, the spirit can inspect a player, and learn if that player is a normal citizen or member of the Mane 6. That information won’t be available until the next day starts, however.

Avatar of Lies: This spirit is made of pure disinformation. Once per night, the spirit can pick a player to forge the identity of for any inspections that night and any lynches the next day. The avatar may pick whatever they’d like to come up as their false report.

Avatar of Mutiny: This spirit is built to hinder co-operation. Once per game, this spirit may, before a day moves into its final 24 hours, put a fog of mutiny over the town of Ponyville. All players must switch their votes, and may not vote for who they currently have a vote on that day. Anyone who does not change their vote is considered to have not voted.

Avatar of Darkness: This spirit dislikes the light, in all its forms. Once per game, the spirit may, during the night, elect to make the next day shorter by 24 hours.

Avatar of Madness: This spirit enjoys playing tricks, and breaking down the walls of sanity. Once per day, this spirit can send a message to the GM requesting that an invitation to a private party be sent to a player. The spirit can then night chat with that player the following night, though the identities of either side of the conversation will not be revealed by the GM.

Avatar of Silence: This spirit is jealous of the voices of ponies, and steals them away. During the night, this spirit may elect one player to silence during the next game day. That player can only vote, but not otherwise communicate. No shenanigans with voting to get around the spirit of the power, please.

I swear I had something to write about today, but fuck if I can remember what it was! So, you know, let’s just talk about Star Dunk Gold.

This was another game I downloaded for free after Tiny Tower asked me too, but unlike Hospital Story, which was pretty shitty if inoffensive due to the lack of cost, Star Dunk is actually kind of cool, if simple.

Basically, the idea is that you are shooting some mad hoops in space. You don’t actually dunk at all. The ball is placed at various places on the screen, and you move your finger to aim the little arc coming from the ball. Then you release, and if you aimed right, you make it in the basket. There is also a backboard, broken in the four sections. You can bounce the ball off of it to sink shots, of course, but each time you hit a section, it lights up, and when you’ve lit all four, you get a powerup. Some of them are useless (I have literally no idea what the fireball powerup does besides make you look cool.) and some of them are really useful, like the one that throws three balls for every one you throw, letting you sink three times the baskets if you’re good. You shoot for two minutes, and you try for a high score.

It’s simple, but the game has a really strong online feature. By switching the game to “online mode,” you will randomly be pulled into high score contests with other players playing the game. The game is constantly updating your position on the leaderboard as you’re desperately trying to sink dunks, and there always seems to be a fairly good number of people playing any time I’ve been on the game. It’s fun and simple competition with little overhead, because after two minutes, you’re done, and can just quit. I like that.

I guess Star Dunk Gold is some paid version that was free temporarily, and there’s a free version with ads? I dunno. I don’t know if I would pay money for this game. But it’s good, quick fun, which seems like the perfect sort of game to carry around on your phone while waiting in line. I approve of this game. I’m not going to spend any money on it’s microtransactions or anything, but I’ve had fun distracting myself with it.

Okay, let’s… well, let’s write about something less stupid than yesterday, hm?

Those hip cats over at the Video Games Hot Dog were talking about Trainyard. As you know, if anyone talks about any iPhone game and it is a dollar or less, than I will purchase it. This occurred, and I played it. Well, some of it. There’s a lot of it! And user created levels! But it is certainly a game.

Trainyard is a very abstract puzzle game that really has very little to do with trains. The idea is that there are train depots, who want certain trains of certain colors in a certain order and quantity. There are train stations that release trains of a certain color and number. You basically just draw tracks between them to make the trains go where they are needed.

However, the game is really weird. Trains can be smooshed together if two tracks combine at the point where two trains would meet. If two trains drive through each color, their colors mix, letting you make different colored trains. (So if you drive a red train and a yellow train past each other, you get an orange train.) What the game does is it will often give you way, way more trains than you need to deliver. You can’t deliver extra trains, so you have to figure out how to combine them. That’s the difficult part. You have to figure out timing and how to draw track so the trains meet at the right time. The main tool you have in doing this is switching tracks. This happens automatically, when a train drives over a track, so you have to set it up to cascade in a bit of a machine to get trains going where you need them to go.

There’s no timer, and no real motivation to push on via, I don’t know, a story or a scoring system or whatever. You can share your solutions with the world, if you want, and finishing puzzles unlocks more puzzles, but that’s really it. It’s just pure puzzles, and if that is your thing, there are a ton of them to work on here. I got a decent way in before I kind of burned out, and wanted to take a break. Then I wrote this. But it’s clear why the VGHD people liked it, and they are crazy “pure” puzzle people. If you are too, it’s totally worth a dollar.

I guess I should probably look at the ol’ list of topics I haven’t touched yet and write about one of them, huh? Let’s see. Ah, Groove Coaster. How have I not talked about that yet?

Groove Coaster is a game by the people who made Space Invaders: Infinity Gene. I still haven’t gotten to play that one because I keep waiting for sales and stuff that don’t come, but I’ve heard nothing but good things about it. If it’s anything like Groove Coaster, I bet it’s great, because Groove Coaster is great.

You pick a little avatar (mine was a goldfish) and you ride a rail throughout a level. The rail twists and turns in a pleasing way. Whenever a dot would hit your little avatar, you tap to play a note. There are also hidden “ad lib” notes you can hit for extra points. In the beginning and on easier modes, the dots to tap are just sitting on the rail that you slide down, but on harder modes, they’ll do cool things like fly in from the side and other visual tricks that also make it a bit harder to keep your rhythm. They also add in “advanced moves” like holding down on the screen instead of tapping.

That’s… pretty much it. The music is the sort of standard techno fare you’d expect. It’s great for in-game, but it certainly isn’t something I’d listen to outside of playing Groove Coaster. Really, what draws you into this game is the great visual style. Again, from what I understand, it looks a ton like Infinity Gene, which I haven’t played, but it just looks great. It looks retro, but not in a particularly identifiable way. It doesn’t seem like they’re copying a style. It feels like their own, but it also feels old. It’s pretty cool. Colors flash, and it responds satisfyingly to your input.

The thing that seems weird is the ability to buy power-ups for real cash. I mean, I guess that’s just going to be a thing now? But it just seems really odd in a game with a clear DLC model of more songs, which they are also doing. I can’t really fault them for throwing stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks, and it’s not like any of that stuff is required to enjoy the game: I certainly didn’t buy any of it and had a blast. But, well, it’s there if you’re allergic to it, I suppose.

I feel like this is not a game for everybody. It is very “old school rhythm game,” though not in the “punishingly hard” way like a Beatmani or something. But I love music games, and I quite loved this. So there.

Today, Jonathan came over and was like “Seriously, boot up LoL right now, and try Dominion.” That’s what happened. He coached, and I played, and I died a lot.

I was really happy when they announced Dominion. I mean, I like League of Legends quite a bit. I’ve put a lot of time into it and I’ve got what I feel to be my money’s worth out of the 30 bucks I gave them. At the same time, I was hoping they’d do something with it to revitalize it. The three lane thing is fine, and a solid, strategic game. But I wanted them to experiment more like with Twisted Treeline. I wanted variety. Dominion looked like it was going to be that, and I was all for it.

Let me just say that Dominion is fucking ridiculous. If you think normal LoL is fast-paced, this will blow you out of the water. It is a non-stop, relentless game mode where you are fighting other champions immediately. There’s no rev-up period. It’s just go, go, go. It feels extremely different, and that is cool.
Basically, there are five points on the map. You capture them by clicking on them, and your champion shoots some energy at it until it’s yours. If you get hit by anything, you stop capturing and have to restart, though it does keep your progress for a little while. The more points you control than the other team, the faster the other team’s life bar ticks down until one side loses all their life and dies.

They’ve done some super interesting things. Capturing a point turns off the turret while it’s being captured, making combats around points very interesting. If you can sneak one guy to capture while the rest are keeping the other champions busy, you don’t have to worry about turret fire turning the tables. If I had any sort of skill at all, it would really make those combats more dynamic and interesting.

I got trounced, of course. I played Alistar, because I knew him, but I just had trouble figuring out the new dynamics of combat. I’m so used to being support and focusing more on taking out towers than fighting other champions, but this is all champion-fights and I was really no good at it, much less while being as rusty as I am. I’m not quick on my feets. Still, I’m looking forward to playing more. This new mode is totally going to make me look completely different at some builds and really rethink things, and I hope they’re willing to keep mixing things up like this. I may not have the staying power of Summoner’s Rift (that’s always going to be the main draw) but I think it’s going to be a lot of fun when it’s out in the wild.

Bleh, alright, what’s on my list of things I should have already written about?
Sanctum? Alright.

There’s basically one downside to Sanctum. Getting co-op to work requires PC bullshit wizardry of ports and all kind of shit that’s just annoying. You can’t just join a game with your friends. It requires prep time. This is still a huge issue for me. I need to be able to invite a dude, have them join the game, and that’s it. Done. Game working. I know it’s an indie title, but fuck, they are hurting it’s potential usability big time with this old school bullshit.

Other than that, the game is great, especially in co-op.

It claims to be a first person tower defense game, and that’s totally what it is. You build towers, create mazes, and upgrade your weapons, and then let the monsters in. You have an assault rifle with a grenade launcher, a sniper rifle, and a “freeze gun” to slow enemies. None of these has ammo, but they have a cooldown. Use them a lot, and they heat up, and need to cool. You can teleport to teleport points you build on the map and attack enemies to help take them out. You can’t really be a one-person army. You’re just about as powerful as one turret, although you can be more pinpoint. But you can really help.

The game does some things great. If you’re playing a co-op game, and are trying to build a tower you don’t have enough money for, you can “hold down” the button until a friend comes over and picks up the rest of the tab for the build or upgrade. Mazing is extremely important, as well as upgrading your personal weapons. You really have to be able to strike a strong balance all around while playing. The game also has awesome Steam achievements to guide you towards various challenges you can do.

There were only four maps when I played, but they were all solid, and for tower defense, that can take you a long time. I certainly never cleared any of them in my time with the game, and I’m not terrible at tower defense or anything. But seriously, if the idea of a tower defense FPS sounds fun, you will like Sanctum. Pick it up for cheap sometime. It’s a solid indie game, and I’m glad I bought a four-pack and passed that shit around to people. Well, hey, I still have extra copies too, if you want one. Whee.