October 27, 2011

Here Is The Shooting Game Review You’ve All Been Waiting For.

I beat CODBLOPS.
I am on the cutting edge of video games.

I remember a time when I was in fucking love with Call of Duty. Call of Duty 4 was so good! I couldn’t get enough. I put in serious multiplayer time. I enjoyed the campaign. It was solid.

Those times are so long gone. CODBLOPS was not completely a failure in gameplay, but I was kind of bored the entire way through, because I have played this shooter before, and everything on top of that shooter was so stupid that it couldn’t engage me at all. I mean, I had some guns. I shot some mans. What more could I want, right? Apparently it’s a twist. I still enjoy shooters, I really do, but you need something to make that basic shooting interesting. Some games do it with a gimmick, such as, I dunno, Singularity, so that you have something to keep you going. Alternatively, you need a plot that engages you. Something that entertains and you want to complete the shooting to see more of, such as, I dunno, Battlefield: Bad Company 2. CODBLOPS was just shooting, and the story… ugh, the story.

The story in this game was just flat-out boring. Not for one second did I care why Mr. Protagonist was being interrogated. This made it so I really didn’t care about why anything was going on, and I was okay with that. I was find with just mindlessly shooting dudes while I listened to a podcast.
Then the endgame happened.
Even without me paying attention, the whole end of the game was just so stupid, I was blown away. Like, okay, even if you really want supernatural superscience bullshit in your Call of Duty, and you believe that this guy can have a magic man implanted in his head, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HIM ON ANY MORE MISSIONS? You have no way to be sure he’s safe anymore. Don’t murder him if he co-operates or anything, but don’t let him DRIVE A HELICOPTER THAT CAN TAKE OUT EVERYONE ON THIS VERY IMPORTANT MISSION. I just… couldn’t believe it. Just… wow. Especially when you already had other characters you had played as who could have gone on the mission instead of Mason. It was just… so dumb. So dumb.

Plus, after you beat it, it goes into this ridiculous Zombie map where a JFK impersonator was yelling about how much he loves sniper rifles at me.

I was pretty glad to send that back to Gamefly.

I felt the same, which is partly why I was annoyed that the battlefield 3 campaign is trying so hard to be call of duty! Like, I didn’t buy battlefield because I wanted to play CoD! I want a campaign where I can fly helicopters and drive tanks!

I never actually finished black ops! But you’re right, i’ve played CoD 1, modern warfare 1 and 2, and black ops just didn’t feel like anything special.

Comment by Stush — October 27, 2011 @ 2:52 am

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