The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

All dumb-ass blog, in a light, easy to digest size! It’s miniblogs.

I played the demo of Medieval Moves: Deadmund’s Quest. You may remember this game from this worst gameplay demo in the world that was very mocked. You watch this, and man, does this game look stupid.

Then I fucked around with it in a Best Buy in St. Louis and had a lot of fun. Luckily, I was not filmed: CJ’s phone was charging in the car. However, it really had fun with it. I was kind of fucking shocked. I was flailing like an idiot at first and laughing at how stupid it was. But soon I found myself really quite engaged with the bow gameplay. Shooting people with the bow in Medieval Moves feels really cool. It just feels unlike most shooting in a video game, at least with two Move controllers. The calibration was a little off in the demo, probably partially because CJ messed with the camera a bit after I started calibrating, and the other part being I was a bit too far away from the screen, but the bow stuff was still really fun. When the enemies got close, it took like two seconds to aim a perfect sword slash at them. I was honestly shocked that it felt good.

Maybe it wouldn’t hold up for a whole game, but I played that demo for, honestly, quite a long time. I was totally engaged. It’s a pretty decent little game. Who knew?

Are you hip? Cool? Have one of them newfangled “Facesbook” accounts that all the kids can’t stop going on about?

Then you better fucking play some You Don’t Know Jack. Seriously.

You know I can’t get enough Jack. This is true enough that I will log on to the goddamn Facebook just to play this. It’s a fantastic game and it continues to be enjoyable in this Facebook version.

Here’s the benefits of the Facebook version: you get to play asynchronously with your friends. The game serves you up games based on what your friends have seen, so you always have a rolling leaderboard to go against, or are setting one for your friends. Therefore, you have some of that competition you get playing the main game, if you enjoy that. The questions are just as well-written, and just as awesome as in previous versions of Jack. You’ve got Cookie back, and he’s great. Most of the question categories from the 360 game show up here with new questions, but you also get to see the triumphant return of the Gibberish Question, and the appearance of my clearly most favorite question type ever, “Elephant, Mustard, Teddy Roosevelt, or Dracula?” where you are tasked with saying if a thing is an Elephant, a type of Mustard, Teddy Roosevelt, or Dracula. The ads are as funny and fun as ever.

It is all microtransactioned to shit, though. You can only play one game a day unless you play. This isn’t a big deal for me: I’m glad to come back once a day for Jack. But it is kind of annoying. You can also buy “score enhancers” to discreetly increase your winnings, which is stupid. Still, I can’t blame Jellyvision for trying to make a buck. If it means I get more Jack, they can do whatever the fuck they want.

Anyway, dust off some Facebook account you forgot you have and play some Jack and enjoy your goddamn day. I’ll see you later.

Nintendo! Amirite?

I want Paper Mario Sticker Whatever very badly. I want Luigi’s Mansion: Night Moon very badly.

The rest is pretty eh.

It’s funny to me how Nintendo is like “we’re supporting core gamers because we have a special edition of the Batman game you already played! So, you know! Also, a Zombie game! You still like those, right?” It’s just kind of sad, I guess. Nintendo, you are not going to be a “mainstream” console. I honestly don’t even know why you court getting these ports. You should be trying to convince developers that coming up with new IP for the platform and doing creative shit is a good idea. Point towards Rabbids or something as proof. You can do this. You’re never going to be generic shooter game console, though it’s cute when you were describing the controller and were like “and look, it has triggers, for the shootman games!” I chuckled.

But yeah, man, there is just nothing exciting on the WiiU. I mean, I guess that’s not really true. People like a Mario game. (I’m one of those horrible people who enjoy a Mario platformer game from time to time, but it sure isn’t a system seller to me. Have barely played any of 3D Land and whatnot, even though I can agree it’s great.) Pikmin 3 is honestly going to be FANTASTIC AND WHAT EVERYONE ALWAYS DREAMED OF! I am all about that. But seeing as I never really played much Pikmin, that isn’t a system seller for me either. So what do they have? Not really anything. It’s a shame.

Seriously, everything I got crazy excited about (listed above) was 3DS teasers that aren’t really going to be talked about until tonight (when I’ll be at work. Boooooooooo!). There wasn’t even a mention of Kirby and it’s his anniversary, isn’t it? Fuckers. Give me more Kirby. I will play all the Kirbys forever.

I also agree with the internet that ending with Nintendoland was stupid, even though many of those minigames look like a fun time. That Luigi’s Mansion game looks like a ton of fun with the right group. But again, that’s not going to sell you a console. None of that is Wii Sports Bowling.

I dunno! I dunno Nintendo. I believe in you. But I’ll just stick with my 3DS for now.

Man, I guess it just never occurs to me how few of Sony’s key brands I give a shit about until I watch this sort of thing and I’m like “Wow, I care about none of these.” I mean, I sure don’t give a shit about a new God of War that is exactly the same as every other God of War but has some shitty multiplayer? I believe I continue to be the only furry on the face of the planet who is not excited about a new Sly Cooper game, as well. Maybe I really do need to rent that Sly collection and try them. I dunno.

Anyway, I suppose that cross-play between Vita and PS3 is a nice feature. I think it’s kind of cool. If the Vita was anything I even vaguely wanted to own, I’d be down with that. Playing the Vita version against PS3 people. That’d be cool. Of course, is the PS4 going to support this? I kind of doubt it! The Vita will be very behind the times powerwise then!

I don’t know. I was really confused as to why they didn’t push the Vita in their presentation. They said several key games are coming to both, but why do I care if I already own a PS3, you know? I’ll just get that one if I want it. Isn’t the Vita a big deal? Supposed to be? I don’t know. I’ve yet to see a really good reason to buy one. I guess this exclusive Assassin’s Creed game is supposed to convince you. That’s awesome, but seeing as I really only jones for Assassin’s Creed multiplayer, that sure doesn’t convince me. Even their “exclusive” CODBLOPS game wasn’t even shown, which is really dumb of them.

The Last of Us was really the only vaguely interesting thing at the Sony presser. It was REALLY interesting, though, let’s be honest. I love everything about Uncharted except playing Uncharted, so I’m more than willing to jump on a new game with different gameplay by those guys. I could really get into that. I really could. I hope it lives up to potential.

Beyond: Two Souls also seems hilariously David Cage-like, and I’m sure I will play it and love it in a half ironic half not way, like I did Indigo Prophecy and Heavy Rain. Still, it’s weird that they spent so much time on it. It’s not really a big seller to people that aren’t, you know, me.

Wonderbook… man, they were proud of getting J. K. Rowling on board, weren’t they? Granted, if they sell the Wonderbook book with the Harry Potter game thing and a Move, they may sell a decent amount, but them even thinking this is going to be a big hit they can develop lots of little games for is kind of funny. The fact that the demo worked like shit and went on for like 10 hours didn’t help things either.

Anyway, Sony? You did alright. Nothing embarrassing, nothing bad… but nothing exciting, really. I wasn’t all thrilled and pumped about anything you showed. Apologies.

Yeah, I’m going to ramble about the big three Electronic Three press conferences for a few days. Deal, yeah? I like this shit.

So yeah, that Microsoft press conference.

Man, I love my Xbox, but goodness. I can’t say I disagree with our whole IRC chat. Who was this press conference for again? It was really weird.
I mean, okay, they had the Halo 4 and the CODBLOPS2. Expected. I don’t really care that much, but I expected that. But really, what did they bring that was actually exciting to the table this year? I just don’t know.

Well, okay, here’s what I’m excited about. Rape talk be damned, I think the new Tomb Raider looks like something I want to play. It’s a bit over the top, sure, but it looks like the gameplay itself is going to be a good time. I also think the new Splinter Cell is looking fun enough. I enjoyed the angst-fest of the last game because it made me feel powerful, and this seems to be keeping everything like that to give me a stealth-based game I enjoy. I’m down with that. I’m also not going to complain about Dance Central 3. Someday I will play and love those games. (Although fuck, Usher dance forever, wow.) Stick of Truth also has a lot of potential and I hope they pull off making something I’d actually want to play.

That’s about it, I guess.

First off, who the fuck would ever, ever listen to music on their Xbox, much less purchase it there? Stuff like Spotify and Last.fm make a bit of sense on the system to put on during a party or something, but buying music is stupid. Why did they spend any time on that at all? The ridiculous pop-up-video tablet mode while watching stuff also seems like complete useless bullshit. I can get that on my tablet already. It’s called Wikipedia. You know?

Frankly, all the “Smart Glass” stuff worries me. If they really want people to use it, they actually have to put it on “all devices” like they’re saying, and not just Windows Phone and Tablets, but I will be shocked and amazed if any of that stuff works on my iPad anytime soon, or if it does, it’s probably going to have “reduced” features, you know? The fact that they made fun of this initiative in their own conference. (Well, Matt and Trey did) says something about how stupid it is, you know?

Sports is sports. Sure that’s cool for someone.

All the time they devoted to Nike + was insane. Once they actually showed the video, it literally looks like every single fitness game for the Kinect. What’s different about this? They didn’t tell us. Why did they show it, then?

Ascend was hilariously stupid-looking and the worst goddamn thing. The people making that game are going to be sorry they showed it with all the insults that are going to be thrown at that horrid trailer. Seriously, that guy’s armor! Holy shit!

I’m really excited for RE6, but that demo was terrible. It showed me no Resident Evil shooter gameplay. I need to know that’s intact. I got no indication of that. Shitty.

They kept showing so many games with “Kinect” built in, but they all just have voice controls, which I can’t use with my headset for no real reason. Awesome. That’s really showing the power of Kinect, you know?

Anyway, trainwreck? I don’t know. Honestly, it wasn’t THAT bad. Nothing went wrong. Nobody was overly embarrassing for the most part. It just wasn’t interesting. Nothing cool was really shown. I guess it could have been worse.

More E3 coming because I can’t get enough of this stuff. STAY TUNE.

I just beat Resident Evil: Revealaitons. Like, all of three seconds ago.

I really enjoyed it.

Let’s just get this out of the way up front, though. Everything that isn’t the action, and even some of the action, is so goddamn stupid that you will want to bang you head against a wall. The “plot” makes no sense at all, and how it’s trying to tie games together also makes no sense from what I know of RE canon (which isn’t a whole lot, I admit, but it doesn’t even match with what little I know from RE5). The ending would suggest it flows, in some way, right into the DLC for 5 that explains how Jill got all stupid Wesker robot, so that’s a thing, I guess? I don’t really know. There are no Revelations in this game. Or Revealaitons.

Seriously, every moment where they could have tried to actually inject any sort of drama into this story was undercut. Clearly Chris and Jill can’t die, as they’re in RE5 and this comes before that. So there’s no risk there. But they introduce so many other characters, some of them INSANELY STUPID, and they’re completely unwilling to kill ANY of them. Your partner dramatically falls into a pit of fire on an exploding ship and he SURVIVES FOR NO REASON, you know? Why is he not dead? It just makes me extra sure I don’t give a shit about anyone in this game.

However, the RE combat formula is just so fucking fun, I didn’t really care. I don’t really know how RE gets to this perfect setup where you’re limited in ammo, but have enough to blast everything, and even basic combat is tense due to the speed of it, but it’s still doing it. I even found it fun alone, as opposed to co-op like RE5 (though I’m totally forcing someone to co-op RE6 with me, don’t get me wrong). The gunplay is a blast. Seriously.

Even that, though, is undercut in some stupid ways. The scanner is a really dumb mechanic. Really dumb. The fact that this is on the 3DS means they put this on a ship filled with tiny corridors, which can make it difficult to have actually interesting combat scenarios sometimes. The game still pulls it off, but every time you’re stuck in a tiny hallway with an enemy, it made me sigh a little, because my options on how to deal with that enemy became so few.

The raid mode, which is this game’s answer to Mercenaries, is a lot of fun, to be honest. Well, it’s an okay amount of fun alone. You run through timed scenarios fighting boss enemies and leveling up and stuff. It’s weird in that you can find the same guns but with different stats, and there’s no real good way to telling that without slowly going and looking at every single gun in your inventory. It would be better if the guns just ranked up or something. “Oh, the shitty pistol is now shitty pistol level 2!” or something. It’s not a huge problem, though. In co-op, I think I would love this mode to death. Sadly, I don’t have anyone to co-op with, and randoms have long since stopped trying to get into Raid mode games. Oh well.

Anyway, yeah. It’s a fine game. I’d recommend it. It has a ton of problems, but for the most part, it’s exactly what it says it is: that RE combat on 3DS. If you like that, you’ll probably find something to enjoy here.

That EA Grand Slam Tennis 2 sure is a tennis game, huh guys?

I mean, I like me some Tennis Games, to be sure. When I played Virtua Tennis 4, I was blown away (IGN.com) by how much fun I had. So I heard this was coming out with some sort of crazy stick controls, and people seem to think EA can make a sports game once and awhile, so I thought I’d give it a try.

Can I just say I hate the EA Sports way of doing things? I have not booted up an EA Sports game that I did not feel had a terrible menu and was completely uninviting. Grand Slam Tennis 2 is the first of these games on 360: you’d think they’d put more time into that shit. Then again, I guess they’re just expecting everyone to have played some other EA sports game at some point. I don’t know. Anyway, all the menus and shit are really not intuitive, and it will often throw like three screens of shit at you when it should really put all that info on one screen.

Once you get into the game, though, it’s fine, if not amazing, game of tennis. The “total racquet” control using the right stick is fine. It takes some getting used to, but it’s not a big deal. It also did feel kind of unique and got me into the game a little more. I never had anywhere near the control I have in a Virtua Tennis or Mario Tennis, though. I feel like I know those games well enough to always put the ball right where I wanted. I never quite got the hang of how to mix up my shots in this game. The game does offer button controls as well, but why am I not just playing Virtua Tennis at that point?

The campaign or whatever you call it tries to mix itself up by giving you little achievements during each match. It’ll be like “try to have a winner after a dive!” or something dumb like that. It also suggests you boost the number of sets you play per match in order to unlock more achievements. This is fucking insane. Anyone who has ever played a tennis game knows you do not want to play a virtual tournament where it takes more than one set to finish off a random player. It takes FOREVER otherwise. Save that stuff for the dramatic finals or something. Anyway, since these achievements did not always fit with my play style, I found them pretty dumb. I’m a rush the net power player, you know? I’m just not going to do some of those things, even on defense.

The commentary, too, was nice, but really repetitive. The first few games you play, it feels way, way better than normal commentary in a game like this. Very natural, and so on. McEnroe rambles on about strategy relating to what’s happening, and it feels super awesome. It’s like you really are playing a tennis game on TV! Except, again, when you lean heavily on one strategy like I like to do, there’s only so many things he has to say about power players who tend to rush the net. And once those are exhausted, which will happen before the end of your first tournament, I guarantee it, it’s not nearly as magical anymore.

If you want a Tennis game, buy Virtua Tennis 4. I bet it’s super cheap now, and that game rocks. I mean, I suppose EA Grand Slam Tennis 2 is a good first effort from EA. It’s certainly competent. But it lacks variety, and what it tries to do well, like the different controls and the commentary, just don’t hold up over long play sessions. It’s a shame, but it’s a good start, certainly.

I’ve been playing a lot of Super Monday Night Combat recently. Because, you know. Combat. Anyway, I’m having a lot of fun.

I don’t claim to know what the fuck I’m doing, perse, but it really is a lot of fun. I mean, I enjoyed the way the first MNC was kind of TF2 mixed with DotA. This is more straight up DotA MOBA Lords Management, but it’s got tons of style still. It’s very shooter-y, but most of the real “shooter” classes are the more hardcore ones, and you can be very useful by being less of a crack shot in these things. That’s what makes it so appealing.

I just feel like a lot of the basic DotA things are very simplified in a very accessible way in this game. At least, way more accessible than your DotA 2s or what have you. It even has things like Rune Pages from LoL, but it’s a bit more streamlined, and the game will set you up with “standard” sets most of the time, if you don’t mess with them. Of course, you need to in order to be effective, but, you know.

I love the Combat Girl. She’s like super support healer, which is great. Unlike the Support, she can heal 3 people at once, at a reduced rate. This is, most of the time, preferable for me. Her turrets are weaker and have shorter ranges, but you can throw out a lot of them. And her laser beam… man, that beam is great. That beam lets you snipe people and get kills as a fucking healer. Combat Girl is aces.

The other pros… I just haven’t gotten the hang of yet. I am not completely garbage at using the Assault? But I just don’t know. I don’t know who else is going to fit my play style. I suppose I’ll just have to keep playing and see.

But yeah, it’s a brutal game, but it’s silly and fun. I’m going to keep at it for awhile, I think. At least a little while.

Yeah, I walked with the dead, what of it? Spoilers, clearly.

Here’s what I knew about The Walking Dead before I played this game: it has the slow kind of zombies. The main character is a sheriff or something who was in a coma. They go live in a prison at some point. The TV show is different from the comic. It’s in Georgia. That’s it, really.

But, you know, I played it anyway, because everyone was raving about it and it was made by Famous and Video Games. So, you know.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it. It’s just always awesome to see a game be based pretty well completely around talking to people and conversing that makes everything feel so tense and important. When you’re just talking about people’s lives, the game makes that seem important. You feel like you’re bonding with people who you might have to rely on to save your ass later. When people start shouting, it’s way more scary than when the zombies are after you. It’s pretty great!

The way they put the action in there, kind of out of nowhere, does set you on edge though, in an awesome way. You very often are going OH SHIT OH SHIT! and you have to make aiming and stuff happen quickly. There was a “combat” scenario in the game I straight-up failed, and the game continued. The person I didn’t save was saved by someone else, and they’ll remember I fucking suck and can’t protect them. That is so fantastic.

It was a really compelling experience, and while I’m watching CJ play through it, and he’s making different choices, and it’s easy to see how they wrap some choices around to make the basic story work either way, now that I’m seeing it again, it does feel like I had a big impact. I love the percentages at the end. Apparently I made the unpopular choice in several situations, which is interesting to me. CJ and I have yet to make the same choice, too, which is also interesting. Indeed.

Anyway, there is one part that is bullshit. THAT FUCKING BRICK. There are so many way more sensible ways of getting that brick than the way you get it in the game. SO MANY. I WAS SO FUCKING MAD AT THAT BRICK. I wasted a ton of time trying to figure out what I was missing, and why I couldn’t pick it up, but it turns out there was no reason at all: you just can’t get it at that point, even though it’s right there and you know where tools are to get you to it. It’s absurd. Fucking brick.

I’m glad I spent my 5 bucks (to play it on 360 just to piss my two PC gamer boyfriends off. Also because I wanted to play it on 360) on the first episode and I will gladly buy the rest. It’s shaping up to be a good story! I hope it can keep it all up.

Sometimes, people gotta avenge, you know? It’s like, you can’t just sit there and NOT avenge. It’s avenging time. Gotta do it.

Anyway, yeah, I watched The Avengers. Spoilers and shit, probably.

First off, we saw it in 3D. This was totally useless, but CJ hadn’t really seen any 3D movies, so, you know. Novelty. Still, don’t waste your money if you don’t have a reason like that.

Secondly, I was just glad they pulled the whole thing off. The worry about this sort of ensemble movie is that everyone is going to be constantly fighting for screen time and nobody is going to do anything worthwhile, or your favorite dudes are going to get completely lost in the dust. Personally, I felt like they nailed that stuff. I had no problems with all of that at all. I figured what would happen going in was that Tony Stark would steal the show, and he did, but that didn’t leave a void of cool things for everyone else to do, which surprised and pleased me.

Thirdly, it’s great that Hollywood has figured out how to make an action movie that is just genuinely funny and entertaining and at times bordering on touching in a way that’s not stupid and frustrating. Death of SHIELD dude got a little close to being a bit over the top for me, but I felt like they managed to handle that in a way that didn’t get too sappy, which was appreciated.

Anyway, what this movie showed me, more than anything else, is that Captain America is screwed. He has 0 mobility! The Captain can’t do anything useful! He was left fighting random dudes and saving civilians during the big fight. If only he had a super jump or something! I dunno! He’s so strong, but he can’t get to the fight, so what’s the use? That sucks. Poor Captain of the America.

Anyway, those are mostly my thoughts? I don’t have a lot of thoughts about it. It was just flat-out entertaining and fun, but really didn’t do anything particularly novel or whatever. The end. It’s a movie you should see. So see it, I guess? That’s a good idea.