February 28, 2010

The Masterplan

I’ve recently had inspiration regarding the next poetry project in my head. Basically, I’ve figured out the plot.

It’s going to be tough to write.

The main character is still percolating in my head, but basically, she is going to be dealing with someone close to her transitioning. And then, because I’m fucking lame like that, I throw a few more wrenches into the works, namely “brother” and “lover.” I’ve got their relationship slowly building in my head. Key moments, and some of the key concerns that this character is going to go through. A lot more percolation, and I’ll be ready to start writing.

But goodness, the moment I realized that was what I was going to write this next book about, my stomach dropped out from under me, and I felt ill. I know you can’t see the whole thing from that bit of rambling up there, but give me a little credit: I know this is going to be something worth reading and looking at. I knew it the moment the concept hit my head. This is going to work, this is something I can write, this is something I am interested in, and this is something I have first-hand experience with. It’s doable, and it’s going to be good.
But I’m determined not to write about me, perse. I mean, I could write about my experiences. In fact, I’m sure I will write about them someday. But there’s not anywhere vaguely near enough distance yet to really do that. At the same time, I need to channel this stuff. I need to put my knowledge and understanding of such things to use. It works fairly well when I put pieces of it into short stories. I should use that here, too. I need to use parts of me. It’ll work.
Therefore, I’ve come up with this other character, and this other approach. But even just building this person (I keep calling her Jennifer in my head, so maybe that’ll be her name) makes me attempt to put myself in the other side of what’s happening, and that’s hard. It’s depressing. Though, I will admit, putting my head into the state of any character in the middle of as much turmoil as I envision for this one is going to get me like that. It’s just… really close to home.

I really know how to pick projects.

But, yes, I have a plan. I wouldn’t be surprised if I started to write poems soon for this book.

Apparently I am someone who writes books of poetry now.

As someone who went through something similar to what your unnamed character will go through (my dearest friend decided to transition five years ago after years of agonizing), I would be very interested in reading your work someday.

Also, I’ve never commented here before, but I wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your writing. I don’t know if I could pursue any form of creative writing for my masters’, for to do so is one of the ballsiest things I can think of, so I admire you immensely for taking that risk.

Comment by Luana — February 28, 2010 @ 1:45 pm

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