The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I’ve had a line in my head all day. It’s a good line. I’m not sure what I’d use it for, and I keep trying different variations. Basically, it’s, “When I’m cold like this, I can’t tell if that’s why I’m shivering.”

I’m shaky.

Have I not been sleeping enough? I’ve been trying to sleep in and rest. I’ve been trying to give myself time to relax while also doing a lot of work. I’ve been trying to get a lot done.

That’s just it, though. I’m always trying, aren’t I?

At some point I will get this shit figured out. I will be solid in what I need to do. I will make it work. Sometime.

Until then I’ll just have songs stuck in my head and be overly emotional with kittens and hide and stuff. I’ll keep that going. I’m good at that. I’ll watch cat videos and not watch the television shows I should and I’ll curl up under covers and that’ll be that.

Also the covers might be warm, so I’ll know why I’m shivering.

I fucking swear, there’s a mind-blowing line in a poem in that somewhere. I’ll figure it out.

I swear, for someone who feels lost so often, I certainly do tend to get a lot done.

I mean, I feel like I’m getting nothing done, but already, this week, I managed to come up with a passable plan that I like for after graduation and talk to people at school and at work to warn them about my impending transition, making it that much more real. I also read some short stories and commented on some poems. I wrote a sestina. I read like thousands of mafia posts. I played through a lot of Little Big Planet PSP. I spent some quality time with the boyfriend. I started setting up a trivia night team. I wrote some blog posts.

I’ve done stuff.

I made this database of everything I’ve written that’s at least quasi-respectable. I ended up with a number of entries in the triple digits. Dr. Watson was like, “Doesn’t it feel nice to see how much you’ve accomplished?”
It does. It really does.

I always feel like I’m so behind. I’m not moving ahead. Nothing is happening. But fuck, when I actually try to list what I’ve done? It’s a lot. I do things. I do them well. Are they always the right things? Debatable. But I’m not always just nothing. I am accomplishing something.

And you know what? That will continue. I will be fine. I will keep accomplishing things.
I can do this.

so i joined the homestuck mafia game.o. on the talking time forums.o. which was a total mindfuck.o. and caused me to come up with this.o. stupid voice.o. for roleplaying.o.

But I can’t talk about that until it’s over. But shit, I will say that game can just DEVOUR you. Devour.

Man, I want to, but you understand, don’t you blog? I can’t. It’s not you. I just made these promises, is all.

But seriously, it’s been on my mind all day. I was checking in on my phone. I even sat down to do my homework, part of which required me to write a sestina, and I ended up writing a sestina about searching out and killing trolls. Seriously.

I am so far down this rabbit hole, and I am totally not going back. There is no way I am not jumping into the next one of these games. It was a pain in the ass catching up to be prepared, but hot damn.

Everyone plays with such passion. There is so much fucking energy and excitement in every single bullshit post in the game thread. I love it. I mean, I love how my friends and I roleplay, but it’s never so serious. Basically everyone has their fucking GAME FACE ON. And what’s better is that the forum keeps going as per usual outside of it. This is, what, the ninth game of Mafia, and I haven’t seen Mafia cause any fights that I’ve noticed. Everything I love about Talking Time still goes, while everyone battles it out.

It’s fantastic, and I love being a part of it, and I’ll tell you all about it when I can, blog. But fuck yes. Mafia. I am so there.

It’s right here, officer.

Val linked me to this little flash game. It’s fairly clever and a fun way to waste a few minutes. It’s not long. It’s also got AT LEAST TWO SECRETS! Or so I hear. I didn’t find them.

You could also, I dunno, play this incredible take on the game that changed everything.

This one is for all the fans of boy-touching out there. Hilarious LP, really well done.

I never knew this episode of Garfield and Friends existed, but it’s fairly amazingly meta.

This is probably my favorite stupid video of the past few weeks.

Everyone loves linkdumps! Linkdumpin’ 4 lyfe!

I think it’s silly that one of my auto-responses to being depressed and stressed is to buy things, especially when a factor of said stress is potentially monetary. I could make more smart decisions, like relying more on Gamefly or finishing games I really wanted to finish but never did, like P3P. Instead, I buy limited edition copies of Marvel Vs Capcom 3. I am simply excellent like that.

I mean, I know why I do things like this. It’s because most of the time, my depression stems from a perceived lack of control. I lack the control necessary to correct people’s views of who I am. I lack the control necessary to make everything not pile on me at once. I lack the control necessary to make people not break from how I perceive things to go. Of course, things like that last one are not powers I’d particularly actually use, but being unable to affect a situation, or convincing myself as such, is a core issue that makes me depressed.

Purchasing things, and bringing more things into my life, well, that I have control of. What I eat I also have control of. It’s proving I can affect the world around me in a silly attempt to feel better. So I buy an extra game I don’t need, or I buy a book I may never read. It’s a stupid coping mechanism, though, thankfully, cheap downloadable games have honestly given me a better outlet for these urges, most of the time.

Then again, my overall goal is to get more stable so this stuff doesn’t crop up, oh, every week.
Sure have amassed a nice collection of toys, though.

I swear, at some point, I will feel 100% here and then I will write you so much about Ghost Trick. SO MUCH.
For now, though, I guess I’ll just dump out all these stupid links I’ve been holding on to because, you know, surely I held onto them for something.

Sharkey wrote another Worst Covers article, a genre of article that never gets old, as I’m sure you’ll find when you read it.
Sharkey is also responsible for this image, I believe.

Be sure to report in.

I mean, it’s no Zombo.com, but Beepdog.us does have dogs AND beeps, so…

This is a map of Diplomacy, because I don’t remember what the spaces are, so I’m leaving this in a tab. It’s not very interesting to you, but, you know, I tend to empty out all my tabs so… here you go!

I still love game music. Here’s two tracks that have been in my head and open in a tab, one from Epic Yarn, and one from Sonic Colors. Completely fucking different, but both amazing.

Well, I have a lot less tabs open now! Onto my next task!

At any point I will break. I am at the point where getting new carpeting put in upstairs feels like it will destroy me. I will admit that I really, really hate this feeling, and I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I feel so lost here. I hate it.

I hate it.

I fucking hate it.

It’s not even funny breaking. It’s not useful. It’s not a motivator. I just feel crushed. The thing that crushed me was fucking new carpeting. I feel like such an idiot.

I’m empty and stupid and my life feels like way too much for me. I want to hide in bed until everyone goes away, for at least a few more weeks. Maybe then things will work out, but hey, I’m not holding my breath. Nothing works out.

I’m a functional, fairly hard-working person. Why am I so crushed? Why do I feel like this? I should function. I should work. Things should work out. God fucking dammit.

I’m super late to the party, but I want to write about Desktop Dungeons. Is that okay? Is that cool? Cool.

So, Desktop Dungeons. I gave it a go because of this nice little Let’s Play going on on the Talking Time. It seemed pretty cool, and I mean, the idea is genius. A whole roguelike you can complete in a few minutes is a fantastic concept that I am totally behind. Then again, pretty well any roguelike is one I can play through in a few minutes because I suck and die, but nevermind that.

It was immediately obvious why I had heard so much about the game. It’s really well designed. I feel like it can be even better, and they’re doing some sort of massive overhaul to make it an actual paid product, I believe, which will probably result in that happening, which is cool. I’d pick it up on Steam sometime for a few bucks.

The thing is, though, I feel like it’s really badly suited for Desktops. The interface uses nothing but left clicks. It seems like it would be trivial to put on an iPad, and that’s totally what I want.

Honestly, it’s amazing to me how much iPhone gaming has changed how I look at games. I see little but awesome things like Desktop Dungeons, and I immediately start thinking about how easily they could be converted into the much more convenient iOS platform for consumption. It just seems like such a great place for such development. The people who made the game could have been charging a buck for it on there from the beginning, and maybe would have earned some money for their hard work.
Granted, maybe without the free version it wouldn’t have gotten as much press as it did. That’s certainly something, I suppose. And, of course, it’s always nice to be able to develop in a fully open environment like the PC. I have no argument there. But dammit, it just seems so right. I have indie developers that I love and follow and support on iOS. That’s never really been something I even thought about doing for PC games.

I guess the extrapolation from that is how little I think about the DS and PSP these days. I’m playing Ghost Trick, and I tried to play Birth by Sleep, and it felt weird. I just play more games on my iPod more often. To be honest, an iPad seems like a much better gaming investment, at the moment, than a 3DS, which is certainly something I never expected. (Yes, Essner, I can hear you saying I could buy two 3DSes for the cost of an iPad, I know.) I could easily do that, and wait until the 3DS XL comes out. Or something similar. I mean, hell, Ghost Trick has an iOS version in Japan, which is probably going to show up here in a few months, and frankly, I would probably rather be playing that. I mean, I’d still have bought this DS version even if I had confirmation, because I am impatient, but I wouldn’t doubt that would be a potentially superior version.
Seriously, sometimes I think about how Apple has taken so much of my gaming time, and it still shocks me. Not that I’m unhappy about it. Quite the opposite.

Okay, I guess this wasn’t REALLY about Desktop Dungeons. But that’s a cool game. You could play it. And then maybe ask them to port it to iOS for me. Pretty please?

I’ve been working on two games. One is Ghost Trick, a completely fantastic game in its own right and I’m sure to ramble on about forever once I finish it, and Kirby’s Epic Yarn. Both games are awesome, but currently I’m kind of blown away by both of their soundtracks. So I’m going to share some.

Ace Attorney had some great music in it, that really made the game feel more dramatic than, perhaps, the gameplay actually was. Ghost Trick, while being a better game over all, continues that tradition.

I mean, seriously, just listen to this. When this music kicks in, and the person you’re trying to save is about to die, shit gets REAL. It’s always amazing what they can do with the limited sound hardware of stuff like this. I always have such respect when a song really gets me going when I play a game.

On a different sort of note, though, the music in Epic Yarn just perfectly fits the game. It doesn’t really get you going, but it’s just so cute and so right. I mean, just listen to this. This music is played when you’re on the race car levels. It’s flat-out fantastic. A great piano piece that’s fun and upbeat, but still fitting the cutesy look of the game. It’s simple, but solid. The game is willing to mix it up, too, when the time is right, but in general it keeps it simple, and often goes back to the piano on the very next level. It really helps set the tone for the game just as much as the neat Yarn visuals do.

We live in a time when game music fucking rocks. I love it when a game takes the time to take its music into account when creating. It’s just… effective. It certainly keeps me listening as well.

Two things happened yesterday. One was that the VERY NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE was changed as whatever governing body that governs things decided we needed a 13th Astrological Symbol due to how the earth rotates. I’m apparently a Pisces now, a sign governed by a picture of two fish doin’ it, apparently. What will become of me? Whatever will happen? And will people ever learn to pronounce Ophiuchus?
I dunno, twitter was going crazy about it.

Anyway, other than that, I drank a lot of water, which is oddly appropriate, seeing as I’m now drinking for two fish instead of one ram, and was really fairly sick, and expect to continue to be, to some extent. The water really helped a lot. I didn’t feel nearly as shitty as I did when I got up that morning thanks to the many glasses of water I downed. My body must have been like, “Oh thank god, proper hydration. I can’t believe I’m receiving a fluid that doesn’t contain caffeine.” Maybe it was so overjoyed it let me ignore my illness for the most part. I don’t know. I’m not a scientist.

And that was my day. The end. Yes, I really have very little to talk about. Besides, I guess, Fable III’s flaws. But I’ll get to that eventually, and overall, I am enjoying it, even though it’s not the masterpiece Fable II was.