The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I have a dog. His name is Q. He’s very gentle and kind and friendly. He’s everything I want in a dog.

He keeps trying to leave.

Three times today he has escaped the back yard. The first was while I was taking a shower. He sneaked out of the back yard. I found him quickly, though he apparently managed to walk all over the cul-de-sac first. I found what I thought was the hole he escaped from, and blocked it with some wood and a cinder block. I then left for my appointment in St. Louis.

On the way home from St. Louis, I get a call. It’s the vet. Q was found at Walgreens, and someone brought him to the vet because he had the vet’s address on the collar from his rabies vaccination. Walgreens is far from my house. He had sneaked out of the barrier I made, and walked that far away. I freaked out. My mom and sister-in-law were already looking for him, as my Mom came over to check on him and found him not there, and they were relieved. I came home, tried to calm down, and made supper. My father promised to help me come up with a permanent fence fix on Saturday. Then I went to work. I left the back door closed, so that he could not use the doggie door, get in the back yard, and escape again.

I got home from work at around 1 AM, and the back door was open. Q had pried the baseboard off the door, which had popped the door open, because I didn’t think to lock it. He had then slipped out into the back yard, and then out of the improved barrier my dad put up. I found him immediately. He was behind the house in the wooded area there. But fuck. How did he do that? It’s completely ridiculous.

Now I’m sitting here, spooked. He was so happy to see me. He likes me. Enjoys my company. He shouldn’t want to leave. Maybe he’s looking for me? I don’t know. But if he can get out then, what can I do to keep him safe? What can I do to keep him here? Do I crate him when I leave? I don’t want to do that. I want him to have the run of the house and be happy. But if he’s going to do this, isn’t that better?

I don’t know what to do. I have to work a full 8 hours today. He’s going to be alone again. I don’t know how to keep him safe. He’s sitting under my computer, happy as can be that I’m home. He’s my dog, and his life is in my hands. I’ve got to do something. I don’t know what to do. I’m tired, and I’m scared for my little puppy dog.

I keep thinking I should get back to writing about the vidjeo gamez, but I keep wanting to talk about life. How boring is that?

Cara and I, as we often do, had a long conversation at work about stuff. This time, about relationships. She was confused about how people can bounce between significant others as quickly as they do. She was worried about her sister, among other things.

It’s in these sorts of conversations where one is supposed to respond, show how one relates via their own experiences, and offer advice from such. This is what I try to do, but I always seem to get odd responses from her. Like I’m telling her crazy things. I know she respects me, but it still just makes me wonder just how off my view on relationships is.

It’s not just the furry thing, although certainly I have taken what values from the fandom I like and incorporated them into my own. It’s of my own making, certainly. It’s obviously off a bit, if recent heartbreak-related issues of my own making have anything to say about it. At the same time, though, my view has left me open to bring in so many people into my life that I sure don’t want to leave, including my boyfriend. Is it that wrong, if it’s doing things that good? I’m not sure.

I mean, I wonder about this, but I don’t worry about it. Nothing about how I go about such things breaks my personal code or anything. None of it is a problem for anyone else. If they don’t want to be a part of it, it’s not a problem to me, and shouldn’t be to them. What I worry about is the idea that because I go about things the way I do, that I’m completely unrelatable. Like, is it getting in the way of having conversations like this with my friends? It shouldn’t, but if the conversation keeps coming to a halt because me trying to make reference to my life is awkward to bring up in company, it is kind of a problem. Isn’t it? I don’t know.

It just bothers me when it feels like I have to deny relationships I have, close friendships and in some cases loves, just because it’s unacceptable to bring those sorts of things to light. It feels like I belittle the connection I have. I probably feel that way from years of being squeamish about mentioning I had a boyfriend, because people would miss the point and think me a gay man instead of a bisexual woman. It really felt like I was being shitty to Brer by doing that, even though he told me, time and again, that he understood and it was okay. I don’t want to do that to any of my good friends. But then I overshare? I don’t know. It’s not anything I’m ashamed of, but maybe I should be.

Nah, I shouldn’t be. But still. A strange situation I keep finding myself in with this. I don’t know the solution.

I’m living in a house that I own now.

Yesterday, I was really nervous, frazzled, and out of it. I cried when I walked in the door. I was kind of falling apart. I just don’t like change. I really, truly don’t like change. Even when it’s for the better. This is clearly for the better. I’m out. I’m about. I’m on my own. It’s a whole new chapter of my life. But I was scared. Really quite scared. I may have had my problems with my parents, but I liked my home. I liked not being alone in a place. I liked my life.

After a day, I do have to say that this is the right thing. Once the internet got hooked up this morning, I calmed down a lot. Granted, there’s a ton to get used to. I’ve been trying to cook for myself for awhile, but now the training wheels are off, and I have to. I have a new member of my family, who has been lovely so far, but who is still a mystery to me and will take awhile to get to know. I have who knows how many countless stupid house things I have to stumble upon, learn, and figure out how to fix. My new life is just getting started.

But I sit on my new couch, and chat, with dog curled up next to me, and watch stupid Giant Bomb videos on my television, and I know that everything will be fine then, you know? It’ll all be fine. I’m still me. I’m living as me. I am me, unchained. I am making my own family. I am making my dreams come true.

I think this will work.
Now if only a certain wuff would get his butt down here… but that’s coming. That’s soon, too. It’s all happening.

I’m moving! I won’t have internet to write a bloeg tonight, but I don’t want to disappoint you. Therefore, have some links, fresh from the link factory.

Important pornography-related work is being done. The site is safe for work. Read. Learn.

A great game to practice editing skills. I should really send this to Susan.

They recorded video of the live DnD game at the last PAX! I still haven’t gotten to watch it, though. I’m sure it’s entertaining. Do wish there would be another podcast, however.

Anyway, there you go. Entertain yourself. I’m really kind of getting super stressed out about this move! But I’m just going to do it today, and move on. That’ll help. Accomplishing shit always helps that sort of thing, you know? I mean, I certainly hope so. Also, I’m off all day tomorrow, so I can really get things situated right if I’m over there. That will also help.

I… guess I best go shut this computer down and get moving! Bye, everyone! See you at the new place!

Here is a story of a love affair between me and a bag of chips.

It also started one day, you see, like any other. I was buying a snack from the vending machine at work. I wanted one of my favorite chips: Baked Lays. I pressed the button. But oh no! I did not get Baked Lays at all, but Southwest Ranch Baked Lays! Disaster! Or maybe it was fate. The chips were fantastic, and I continued to buy them, instead of Baked Lays, from the machine.

However, recently, the machine stopped having Southwest Ranch Baked Lays stocked in them. You don’t realize how much you love something until it was gone. I craved those things. I went to the store and bought some, and ate like all of them. I destroyed that bag. I was in love.

Seriously, though, these chips are so damn good. They basically taste like a hot salsa has been baked into the chip somehow, perhaps using baking. It’s the only potato chip I’ve ever had that leaves a bit of a burning in your mouth after you eat a few of them. Like, you know, a good burning. A spicy burning. I love Baked Lays, but I understand many people think they are flavorless. This chip totally solves that problem. It is a fantastic use of a potato.

I am going to try very hard not to eat a million of these chips. I offer no promises. But seriously, I loved these chips so much that I added a thing on my list of blog topics to write about these stupid chips that said “Those Goddamn Chips”. Now I have. Mission complete.

I have done many things. However, one of the things I have done is beat the story mode of Anomaly: Warzone Earth HD on my iTronic Pad. Another thing I will have done in just a few moments is write a blog post about that experience.

Anomaly basically takes the idea of “WHAT IF YOU WERE THE ENEMIES IN A TOWER DEFENSE GAME?!” and attempts to make a whole game out of it. This is an interesting premise that hasn’t been done before! The result is fun but, unfortunately, not really a long-lasting fun like Tower Defense proper. At least in my opinion.

Basically, you have a little squad of six slots. You can place various units in them. APCs fire quickly and are general all-around units. Tanks fire slowly, but have heavy armor. Crawlers fire slowly, but fire very damaging rockets. Shield units put a recharging Halo-like shield on the units in front and behind it. Supply units spawn power ups when you get kills. Dragon tanks are super expensive, but can attack two towers at once and I think have a minimal DoT effect. You buy and arrange these units in these setups, then you move them about the map. You don’t have direct control, but you can basically plan where they will turn on the roads in the blasted cities you fight in, and can change that plan on the fly. For most missions, you are either trying to simply get through an area alive, or take out specific targets along your route.
This would be kind of boring, but the game gives you a bunch of powerups to play with. You can heal your units, or set up a smoke screen to make enemy fire less accurate, or set up a false unit for enemies to fire at. The real strategy of the game is deploying these correctly, because they are a limited resource, and are basically the only way of assuring you aren’t constantly losing units and not having enough money to replace them.

The interface in this game is just PERFECT for the iPad. I’m sure it’s a fun game on PC too, but I hear you have to move a little guy around to pick up powerups, which seems much less fun. Seriously, though, the interface is responsive and you understand it immediately. The game looks fantastic and doesn’t lag or have any issues like that whatsoever.

However, you really just kind of figure out what to do, and then the fun is gone. The campaign is 15 missions, and by the end of it, it really felt like they had used up all their variety ideas. Of course, they did a good job keeping it varied until then, but there wasn’t much left to do after that. So it was good it ended there. The game keeps an overall campaign score to compete with your friends, and has difficulty levels, of course, so if you want to eke out all the fun you can, that stuff is there. There’s also some sort of “Squad mode” which I assume is some sort of endless thing I don’t really want to play, so I haven’t. But, you know, they tried to make it worth your money.

I had a lot of fun with the game, but I also paid a dollar for it. It’s normally sold at a premium, and as much as I had fun, I dunno if it’s got enough staying power to be worth more than a buck or two. I probably wouldn’t have been happy to buy it on Steam for the 10 dollars it originally was. Then again, maybe I would be. I like game experiences that are fun, but don’t overstay their welcome, and this was that, to be sure. In any case, if the idea sounds appealing, it’s done really well, and you should try to play it sometime. It is fun. Just don’t expect it to last you a real long time.

No post today! Why? Because I wrote a post on another site yesterday. But they update later in the day. So. You know how it goes.

Anyway, as I think I mentioned at the beginning of the month, my friends at On The Stick are doing a month of horror game articles, and I wrote one about Silent Hill 2, which you can read here.

So do that, if you want, and enjoy! I’ll write something new here tomorrow.

If you already saw the link on twitter or whatever, I apologize. But I deserve a day off! If you’re a new person who read the article and then came to the blog, well, this is a personal blog. I post every day, a lot of the time about the games I am playing, but also just about whatever is happening in my life or is on my mind. If you want more long-form sorts of game writing… hm… let’s see… maybe my huge breakdown of why I loved Deadly Premonition would be more your thing? Also, while pictures are great, this website is pictureless by choice. Sorry. I only really do words.

Anyway, see you all tomorrow!

Now it is time to recount my iOS5 experiences for everyone to love and enjoy. Something like that.

On the morning of the fifth eyeohess, I downloaded an iTunes update. Well, I started it downloading. Then I went to work, and worked a fairly shitty shift. When I got back, I was so ready to put some iOS5 on my iPad, so I started it downloading. That took a damn long while, like over an hour. But that’s okay, now it’s going to start installing! Then I can use it! Neat.

I get something that says “Unexpected Error 3200.”
Well, maybe the fact that I didn’t reboot when it asked me to was part of it, I thought, so I rebooted, and tried again.
Same error.
Well, maybe I need another USB port. I moved the cord.
Same error.
It was then that I saw someone bitching about it on Twitter. Apparently the servers were overloaded, and that’s why I was getting this error that seemed to have nothing to do with servers. What a great error message, Apple! Thanks for that.

Anyway, I left to teach, and came back to try it again later. It worked that time! Installed and everything. Neat! But then it said “Restoring Apps.” There was a progress bar, but it wasn’t like, filling like a progress bar. My iPad, meanwhile, didn’t say it was syncing. iTunes seemed stuck. The stupid thing crashes on windows all the time, so I just force-quit it. When I opened it again, the same bar popped up. When I looked at my iPad, some of my apps were there, but others weren’t. Fantastic.
I just happened, though, at random, to notice it was actually adding more apps. Somehow. Without syncing. So I just kind of threw up my hands and left it there. When I came back from work, it was all fine. Working great now.

All in all, it was a pretty shitty experience! I don’t know. I’m not a huge Apple fangirl type person, but they always struck me as caring about not making their users go through this kind of thing over things like having features, and being able to do what you want it to. They just always seemed to go so far out of their way to restrict functionality to keep people from seeing that. Yet, here I am. I really did see all that! It was weird.

How’s iOS5? I don’t really know. All I cared about were the notifications, really, and I do have to say that the notifications are great. What they should have been in the first place. Glad they just blatantly stole them from Android. My various board game updates are very nicely organized now. That’s all I wanted, and I got it. Maybe some other feature will jump out at me at some point? I dunno. But notifications! And so on and so forth.

Let me tell you a story. It is a story of deceit, deception, and death. It is a story of broken bonds, and broken promises. It is a story of one town’s struggle to survive against insurmountable odds. It is a story of ponies.

Mafia Little Pony: The Avatars of Discord

It all starts with a scream, a loud scream, from the library. It’s an inappropriate wake-up call for the town of Ponyville, but most go about their daily lives, only momentarily wondering what happened. They do not take the scream as the omen it is. Five friends, however, do heed the call. They rush to the library, panting for breath, looking to one another before shoving the door open.
The scene before them was not a pleasant one. To one side of the scene, a crying unicorn, her purple hair mussed from just getting out of bed. This pony’s name was Twilight Sparkle, and this was the worst moment of her life thus far. Before her was a young dragon. His eyes looked shocked. His expression was mostly vacant now. He wasn’t moving. Dragon’s blood oozed slowly from his neck, dripping onto the stack of books he must have been gathering for his morning’s work.
Spike was dead.
The five gathered friends gasped. They expected some sort of problem, but not this. The ponies stood there dumbfounded, unsure what to do. Fluttershy started crying, at the back of the pack. There was silence but for the sounds of sobbing.
Rarity finally broke the silence. “This is terrible.”
“Who would have done something like this?” Rainbow Dash asked, anger simmering in vocal undertones.
“It couldn’t have been anyone around here. Nopony in Ponyville would do… would do that,” Applejack said.
“I…” Everyone turned. Twilight was getting back on her hooves. “I will figure out who did this. I will bring whoever did this to justice.”
“And we’ll be right here to help you,” Applejack said.
“All of us,” added Rarity.
“Look, in his mouth!” Pinkie Pie declared.
Everyone turned. There seemed to be a piece of paper stuck in the poor dragon’s mouth. Twilight picked it up and read it aloud.
“My Faithful Student, I’m afraid send you terrible news. After your battle with Discord, I thought peace had been returned to Equestria. But I was wrong. Discord had a backup plan. He summoned six spirits, avatars of horrible things, into the world to destroy the Elements of Harmony if they were to be used to stop him again. Unfortunately, that means they are coming after you and your friends, bearers of the Elements. My magic has tracked them to Ponyville, and I have erected a barrier around the town to seal them away. Unfortunately, that also seals in you and the citizens of the town. You must find these avatars and destroy them. It will not be easy. They are using a powerful enchantment to make them look like any other pony. They could be anyone in town, even someone you know. They will attack you if they find you. Enclosed is a spell to hide your identities. Use it to move around the town in safety, find these threats, and stop them. I apologize for putting you in such danger once again, but I know that you, and your friends, can stop this if you all work together. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.”
The six ponies looked at each other. Then Twilight spoke again. “Spike was killed to keep us from getting this message. They didn’t want the Princess to warn us.”
“Poor Spike… even in his last breath, helping out…” Fluttershy said, sniffling.
“Girls, we have to stop these avatars. Let me prepare the spell. Rarity, could you give me a hoof?”
“Of course, darling, though you’re a much better magician than me.”
“We’ll… take care of Spike,” Applejack said.
“Yeah, he deserves better than to be sprawled on the floor like that,” Pinkie Pie added.
“Thank you…” said Twilight, taking a breath before turning to her magic.
It didn’t take long until Twilight had all of them enchanted. They looked at each other in wonder.
“This is amazing!” said Pinkie Pie. “I can’t even tell who you all are! Who am I, huh? Do you know?”
“Yes, Pinkie, we know it’s you,” Twilight said, “but once we leave each other’s presence, it’s going to be near impossible to tell.”
“I don’t like all this hiding. Let’s just go out there and blast them,” Rainbow Dash said.
“But we could hurt someone else!” said Fluttershy.
“Right,” said Twilight, “so we’ll have to be sneaky for now. Let’s split up, and gather information. We can figure out who these avatars are in no time if we all work together.”
They all nodded, and headed out the door, only to stop immediately. There was a gathering at the town square.
“…need to be stopped.” said Mayor Mare. “We’re all trapped here, and I have been told we will not be freed until this crisis is taken care of.”
The crowd was complaining loudly.
“We must take this into our own hooves. We must save ourselves.”
There was a rumble of agreement.
“So I am enacting a rare clause of our town charter. Every day we will vote on who we think is one of these creatures infesting our town. Voting is mandatory for everypony. Whoever wins will be dealt with quickly. Soon, with all your help, we’ll have solved the problem. I’m sure of it.”
There was another rumble of agreement. Twilight shuddered. She had read the town charter, and she assumed nobody else knew how serious those rules were. “Well… we’ll, just have to find them faster, before anyone else gets killed…” she told herself. “I hope…”

—

Players will either be citizens of Ponyville, one of the Mane 6, or an Avatar of Discord. Normal citizens of Ponyville have no powers, but have been empowered to vote and lynch, as per usual. The Mane 6 are the powered citizens, and can also vote and such, of course. The Avatars of Discord are the Mafia. They get a night chat, as per usual, and a night kill. They are also empowered.
The avatars win if they kill all of the Mane 6, or establish a voting majority. The town wins if all the avatars are destroyed.

Days are the standard 72 hours. Nights are the standard 48. Ties in voting are broken first by who has the most members of the Mane 6 voting for them, and if there is still a tie, then by dice roll.

The Mane 6
Twilight Sparkle: Representing the Element of Magic, Twilight is a master spellcaster. Once per night, she may cast a scrying spell and inspect a player, finding out their affiliation as either citizen, avatar, or member of the Mane 6.

Applejack: Representing the Element of Honesty, Applejack is a hard working, athletic pony with significant skills with a lasso. Once per night, Applejack may lasso and tie up a player, keeping them from using any powers they may or may not have that night.

Rainbow Dash: Representing the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash’s speed is unmatched. Rainbow Dash may choose to perform a Sonic Rainboom during the night. This will be announced publicly, though who used the ability will not be revealed. That day, her vote will count for double, though again, this won’t be revealed publicly unless it breaks a tie or something of that nature. However, the act of doing such a complicated trick will tire her out, and she won’t be able to use the ability the next night.

Fluttershy: Representing the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy has learned many ways to be nice. Once per night, Fluttershy can pick a player. If that player were to die from a nightkill, Fluttershy’s care will save them instead, leaving them alive. If she saves someone, though, she’ll be exhausted, and won’t be able to pick another player to save for two nights of rest.

Pinkie Pie: Representing the Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie knows how to throw a party. Once per day, Pinkie Pie can send a message to the GM requesting an invitation to a private party be sent to a player. She can then night chat with that player the following night, though the identities of either side of the conversation will not be revealed by the GM.

Rarity: Representing the Element of Generosity, Rarity knows that good fashion can be helpful in even the most dire of times. During the night Rarity can elect to create a stunning outfit for a player, and send it to them as a gift. That player will wear the outfit the next day, and be looking so overwhelmingly fabulous that nobody will be able to vote for them. That a person is wearing such an outfit will be public knowledge. However, once Rarity has given such a gift, she won’t be able to give one the next night, as it takes time to create a new outfit.

The Avatars of Discord
Avatar of Evil: This spirit has been blessed with the ability to look into the darkness of one’s soul, and find out what’s truly there. Once per night, the spirit can inspect a player, and learn if that player is a normal citizen or member of the Mane 6. That information won’t be available until the next day starts, however.

Avatar of Lies: This spirit is made of pure disinformation. Once per night, the spirit can pick a player to forge the identity of for any inspections that night and any lynches the next day. The avatar may pick whatever they’d like to come up as their false report.

Avatar of Mutiny: This spirit is built to hinder co-operation. Once per game, this spirit may, before a day moves into its final 24 hours, put a fog of mutiny over the town of Ponyville. All players must switch their votes, and may not vote for who they currently have a vote on that day. Anyone who does not change their vote is considered to have not voted.

Avatar of Darkness: This spirit dislikes the light, in all its forms. Once per game, the spirit may, during the night, elect to make the next day shorter by 24 hours.

Avatar of Madness: This spirit enjoys playing tricks, and breaking down the walls of sanity. Once per day, this spirit can send a message to the GM requesting that an invitation to a private party be sent to a player. The spirit can then night chat with that player the following night, though the identities of either side of the conversation will not be revealed by the GM.

Avatar of Silence: This spirit is jealous of the voices of ponies, and steals them away. During the night, this spirit may elect one player to silence during the next game day. That player can only vote, but not otherwise communicate. No shenanigans with voting to get around the spirit of the power, please.

Alright, before we get into this story, let me give you some context. I was reading a sexy story written by a friend of mine I had kind of gotten out of touch with. But he was writing a good story, and I was looking it over. The plot of the story revolves around furries in a world of mostly humans, and the main characters having to deal with the concept of going into heat in a world where the simple solution, all the males just going for it and having at the females when that happens, is just not an acceptable solution in society.
So I was reading this, and the description of the overwhelming and hard to run away from urges these characters are having, and a thought occurred to me: if I was one of these people, being the transsexual that I am, this would have been about the most traumatic thing I would have had to deal with in my youth. The simple concept of having to deal with those urges when they would be flat-out wrong and go against the person I was just knocked the wind out of me, terrified me.
Of course, I had to try to capture that. So I wrote. Then I wondered what I should do with it. It ended up here.

What follows is the flash fiction I wrote. It’s not graphic, not porn in the least, though it does discuss sex, of course, and the characters are vaguely furries in the way that my furries are always vaguely furry when I describe them in my random furry-oriented writings that I do for fun. If that’s not your thing, don’t worry about it. Come back another time. If it is, come back after the jump. (I can do jumps, right?)