The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I keep thinking I should get back to writing about the vidjeo gamez, but I keep wanting to talk about life. How boring is that?

Cara and I, as we often do, had a long conversation at work about stuff. This time, about relationships. She was confused about how people can bounce between significant others as quickly as they do. She was worried about her sister, among other things.

It’s in these sorts of conversations where one is supposed to respond, show how one relates via their own experiences, and offer advice from such. This is what I try to do, but I always seem to get odd responses from her. Like I’m telling her crazy things. I know she respects me, but it still just makes me wonder just how off my view on relationships is.

It’s not just the furry thing, although certainly I have taken what values from the fandom I like and incorporated them into my own. It’s of my own making, certainly. It’s obviously off a bit, if recent heartbreak-related issues of my own making have anything to say about it. At the same time, though, my view has left me open to bring in so many people into my life that I sure don’t want to leave, including my boyfriend. Is it that wrong, if it’s doing things that good? I’m not sure.

I mean, I wonder about this, but I don’t worry about it. Nothing about how I go about such things breaks my personal code or anything. None of it is a problem for anyone else. If they don’t want to be a part of it, it’s not a problem to me, and shouldn’t be to them. What I worry about is the idea that because I go about things the way I do, that I’m completely unrelatable. Like, is it getting in the way of having conversations like this with my friends? It shouldn’t, but if the conversation keeps coming to a halt because me trying to make reference to my life is awkward to bring up in company, it is kind of a problem. Isn’t it? I don’t know.

It just bothers me when it feels like I have to deny relationships I have, close friendships and in some cases loves, just because it’s unacceptable to bring those sorts of things to light. It feels like I belittle the connection I have. I probably feel that way from years of being squeamish about mentioning I had a boyfriend, because people would miss the point and think me a gay man instead of a bisexual woman. It really felt like I was being shitty to Brer by doing that, even though he told me, time and again, that he understood and it was okay. I don’t want to do that to any of my good friends. But then I overshare? I don’t know. It’s not anything I’m ashamed of, but maybe I should be.

Nah, I shouldn’t be. But still. A strange situation I keep finding myself in with this. I don’t know the solution.