January 19, 2008
Why I Argued For So Long Last Night
So Brer and I had this like… several hour argument last night? It was over nothing, and my feelings certainly aren’t hurt or anything, and I highly doubt his are either. I mean, we were talking about Fallout 3 and stuff. But it was very heated. A little ways into it, I really wanted to drop it, because it was going nowhere, but I found I wasn’t letting myself do that. And as it kept going I think I figured out why.
Brer is a very informed person. Like… very. He seems to have facts on hand for everything. And, you know, that’s awesome.. It’s part of who he is, and I love him for who he is. But it… when I get into any sort of argument with him, he lists these facts, and I don’t have them in my head to point out where he’s wrong effectively. That’s also fine, in general, because, you know, I could go and read up on everything and stuff, and choose not to. That’s my call. I’m fine with making it.
The problem is he takes the argument or discussion out of the realm of sort of… vague intellectual debate and into fact-checking when he does this, and that means I can’t… win. There’s pretty well no way for me to be able to do it, you know, because every sort of idea I have to try to dismiss these things and bring it back to an arena where I can compete is met with more facts I can’t compete with.
I’m not stupid, you know? There is a difference between being informed and being intelligent, and I’m intelligent, but not always informed. But constantly losing and having my ideas shot down just makes me want to… want to win once, so I can say “See? I can go toe to toe with you.” I don’t think I’m that notch below him on the smartness scale, but I feel like that sometimes, and I don’t really like that feeling, you know? So I argue and argue and argue over nothing, trying to make him concede something, anything… and then it’s like 3 AM and nothing has changed.
So yeah, that’s why I keep playing devil’s advocate and fighting on and on once these things get started, even when I agree with him. I don’t know. Just how I feel.