The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I drank an alcoholic beverage yesterday that I did not hate. Basically, I drank more yesterday than I have… well… ever? Note that this consisted of two fairly small glasses of something that probably wasn’t very alcoholic in general, as opposed to the small sips and miniscule glasses of wine I have had in the past. Still, it was an experience? It is an experience I will chronicle here now because, I dunno, it feels like a first to me. So.

Basically, we went over to Layne’s for her birthday. We had a nice time, sitting about and talking. Nothing exciting, perse, but just some nice conversation. But anyway, she’s like “I haven’t really drank in like 3 years so I’m going to!” So her husband was making her these drinks, Midori Sours, and Layne says “Try this, it doesn’t taste like alcohol, it tastes like a watermelon Jolly Rancher.”
Every time someone has said to me “You can’t taste the alcohol” or something similar, they have always been lying. It would always have a strong taste up front, and then just become alcohol on the back half, which I guess the drinker doesn’t notice because, you know, they drink. But Layne was 100% right this time. It just tasted like a watermelon Jolly Rancher. I was kind of shocked. I turned down the offer of them making one for me, out of habit more than anything I guess, but I was like “Wow, I could like… drink that.”

Afterwards, I tell this to CJ, and he’s like “Let’s make you one, then,” And I’m like “Okay, sure, experiment, let’s see if I can actually drink a thing for once.” So we run around town and buy this stuff, and I’m like “Alcohol expensive!” and he’s like “Shush, all this is a pretty fair price and it’s not like you drink much of it at once,” and we came home and he made me one and it was pretty good! Like really sweet. I think the stuff he put in that was like “sweet and sour?” Which probably kicked the sweet over the edge. Layne’s wasn’t QUITE as sweet. Maybe we should have put in something that was just “sour”? I dunno how drinks work, even though I have my e-bartending certificate. I am just guessing. Anyway, it was nice enough. I could drink a one of those if in a social situation where I am supposed to drink a thing.
Then he’s like, “Let’s try something apple-y instead of melon-y,” which I am all for because I like a sour sweet apple more than a sour sweet melon flavor, and he makes an Appletini, I guess? And I taste the alcohol right away there. Not a fan. I guess it’s because he added extra vodka? I’m really not sure. Again, the sour apple at the beginning was nice, but then at the end it’s just ALCOHOL! Just… bleh.
“I have one more idea,” he tells me, and he brings me this thing he calls a “Golden Apple” and tells me you’re supposed to drink all of it at once. This puts me on edge. To me that says, “This tastes horrible, so survive it quickly.” But I tried it, eventually. It was pretty bad. It was like ALCOHOL followed by RED HOTS and I’m like blerg. And he’s like “I thought you said you liked cinnamon,” he said (I type as he corrects my story as I type it because he’s reading over my shoulder and being all defensive). I’m like, “Sweet cinnamon, sure. Cinnamon sugar. Not like… red hots or whatever.” Anyway, I guess the red hot stuff was like… fucking Goldschlager? What? Weird. I’m going to get gold poisoning now.

Anyway, after having these things and watching Adventure Time, we went to bed. MOST EXCITING NIGHT OF DRINKING EVER, AMIRITE? But it was kind of nice to be involved in it for once, I guess, though I still don’t really get the appeal. Basically all that I really felt from it all was that my stomach felt weird. I dunno. I felt like I should eat something to keep my stomach from being upset. That doesn’t seem like a goal worth going after? Who knows. Maybe I just didn’t get to the point where it does whatever magical thing alcohol does that makes people want to learn to tolerate and actually enjoy it’s pretty godawful taste. I’m a fairly large lady, and again, I doubt what I drank had all that much actual alcohol content in it, though maybe I’m wrong there. Still, I have basically 0 points of comparison to determine if I was feeling any effects full on, so I dunno.

But yeah, I finally drank a thing, and it was like the most girly of all girly drinks in the world, so huzzah for me, I guess. Also, man, this is a rambly blog post! Oh well.