The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Time for some SKYLANDER REVIEWS! Most of these I’ve only played with in the 3DS version, so keep that in mind, as the ability to jump makes melee characters a bit more viable in that version.

Drill Sergeant: Man, was I wrong about this guy. He looks so stupid, but he is really strong and really effective in combat. His standard drill missile attack is just fine, and does some decent damage. However, his little head cannon attack is just phenomenal. It tracks enemies, so you can effectively circle strafe, which is really powerful in this game, it turns out! Really powerful! The individual shots are not strong, but you can easily weaken enemies and then finish them off with the drills. It’s hard to recommend another Tech guy, since Drobot is fucking DROBOT, but he has been one of my go-to Skylanders playing through this new version, since I decided to not use my old guys much for a new experience.

Ghost Roaster: Really stupid name, and he looks pretty dumb to boot. Seriously, a lot of the Skylanders are kind of dumb, but I can understand the appeal? I don’t know who Ghost Roaster would appeal to. The other Undead Skylanders just look so much cooler, and if you’re going to use a melee character for your Undead, it just seems like Chop Chop’s shield would be the better go-to. Maybe that’s why he’s the pack-in with the Darklight Crypt, instead of his own dude to buy. Anyway, his attacks are fine. He has a decent melee attack, but it just doesn’t do as much damage as other dedicated melee characters. I really like his other attack, though. He summons two spirits, and you can send them at enemies to “possess” them and do a DoT. That’s pretty awesome. You can also consume them to do this skull charge thing, but I found that much less useful. Most of the time I did that by accident, and then had to summon more spirits, which was annoying. The possession, though, gives him some viability at a distance, as you can hit two guys with that and then sneak in to finish them with the melee. Again, he’s alright, but I’m pretty sure another Undead Skylander would be better.

Stealth Elf: Pretty useless. Her invisibility just isn’t something this game really has any use for. In the 360 game, she creates a little doppelganger that gets attacked, which is kind of sort of marginally more useful, but in the 3DS game she just goes invisible when she runs. So, uh, yeah. She can throw knives, which does like no damage but if you’re desperate for some distance attack, it’s there. Her knife combos don’t do any damage unless you land the whole thing. The final hit does a lot of damage, but you have to hit like 3 other weak attacks for that to connect. This makes her garbage in groups, and guess what! Most of the time you’re fighting groups. I will give her the up over Stump Smash, my other Life Skylander, though. She’s agile, which lets her get around quick, at least. Stump Smash has a lot of the same combat problems, looks more stupid, and is slow as shit. So… yeah.

Flameslinger: His attacks just aren’t fast enough for a distance character! They’re okay, I guess, but not being able to just fucking jam on the button, like, say, Trigger Happy, or just hold it down, like Drobot or Drill Sergeant’s cannon, just makes him harder to use. His rain of arrows attack is fine, but it’s really slow, and unlike, say, Hex’s skull rain, you can’t level him up to, say, run around while he’s charging it, because it doesn’t home in. It’s really unfortunate. However, his run, which leaves a trail of fire behind him, is shockingly useful. Since enemies, for the most part, just follow you blindly, it’s really easy to deal them some serious damage by kiting them along with that fire trail. This is pretty well what saves him, for me. Middle of the road, and harder to use than a lot of Skylanders, but I can’t say I didn’t derive some pleasure out of burning the stupid idiots who ran after me.

Dark Spyro: He’s just Spyro! To be honest, I haven’t used him. Because he’s just Spyro. Who I have already used. If I am wrong, and Dark Spyro has different abilities or something, please let me know, somebody!

More Skylander Reviews forthcoming. Also a review of the 3DS game, when I finally beat the last two frustrating levels. Whee.