The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

How about that Mass Effect 3, eh? That’s a relevant topic, right? Mass Effect 3? Right?

Yeah, spoilers or whatever, so keep that in mind.

Mass Effect 3 was okay. I was Commander Shepard, and I shot a lot of dudes and then there was an ending.

First off, let me just say that I really enjoy the combat. For some reason people keep being all down on the combat, calling it “not great.” I have never experienced this. Maybe this is because I’ve always played Engineer, a hands-off spellcasting class, but I love the combat in this game. I was happy to jump into the multiplayer and play more of it, and I was happy to shoot a bunch of dudes throughout the campaign. I personally think the encumbrance thing is a brilliant addition and really helps you play your way, even though my way involved NO GUNS AT ALL. Or, uh, bare minimum of guns, and only the shitty ones. It was heaven: a heaven of casting Incinerate over and over and over again.
Sure, the last encounter of the game was frustrating as hell, and I died like constantly, but for the most part? A joy to set dudes on fire. No complaints at all.

Storywise, the game was… weak? You do a lot of super-cool universe-changing things, like curing the genophage, but in general the whole story just seems… dumb. They want you to feel like you’re on this pressing mission to save Earth, but Earth is apparently okay enough for Anderson to be able to call you every two minutes and go “Man, it’s going bad down here.” You’re doing the most bullshitty fetch quests like… all the damn time for people. At least in Mass Effect 2, you’d be on a mission and just stumble onto something and go give it to someone. In ME3, you’re actively searching for stupid knick-knacks that people say they want. I just never felt like I was doing anything super-important in the grand scheme of things, like I did in ME2. I always felt like there was some stupid angle on whatever I might be doing that made no real sense.

Still, when you get out of that macro level, there were plenty of great little character moments in this game, and that’s what I was there for. I made a “funny joke” in the title, but I did think the Garrus Romance Payoff was kind of nice for not being more fucking. I mean, you get to do that later, too, but it’s nice to pretend they have a normal relationship thing going on. Hearing Garrus comment on everything that was going on was really entertaining, too. He acted like the one guy who had always been in my active party always, like he was. I doubt that was something that was modified just for my game and the choices I made? But it felt like it. It felt like he was talking more because I had way more history with him than any other character.
Similarly, I really rather enjoyed James. He seemed like a dude that would, say, actually be involved in shit like this, unlike some of the characters you usually get, who just don’t really seem that much like someone who shoots dudes for a living. He was a career soldier. He was also flirty, funny, and awesome. I really enjoyed his characterization. That’s why I brought him everywhere as well.
I was really sad that they got rid of Kelly at first, but Traynor was pretty cute and awesome as well. The way she tries to get you to fuck her is… pretty fantastic! I approved, and almost did it, but, you know. Grasshopper Man. Also, you know, I watched the scene and man, this game is pretty silly sometimes! Let’s wear a bra in the shower, but no panties! This is how an actual person showers! Clearly!

Anyway, I guess I better mention the ending before I finish this. I understand why people were upset about the ending. It’s just as lame as, say, the ending of Deus Ex: Hero Reconciliation, with how you just kind of pick based on nothing you’ve done earlier, really. It’s pretty dumb in that regard. That said, people who went all apeshit ridiculous stupid over it are just as insane as I figured. It is pretty clearly a sub-par to bad ending. But it doesn’t ruin the game or the games before it at all, really. It’s ridiculous to get all worked up about it. I mean, clearly, all the stuff with the little kid was fucking STUPID. Clearly. Let’s just move on with our lives.

I will say, though, that the one thing I enjoyed about the ending was the moment where the lady calls you and is like “Commander Shepard!” and Shepard is all like dying but struggling to her feet and going “What, what do I need to do…” That’s the exact right reaction for a lady who has done literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE GALAXY’S ERRANDS at one point or another. I liked that.

Anyway, Mass Effect 3. That sure was a thing. Glad I played it. It didn’t rock my world, but it was fun. It’s a fun thing to play.