March 29, 2009
Hilarious Prank
Somebody has unchained one of the soda machines in the english building and moved it upstairs.
I was kind of shocked when I walked out of class and I saw it, sitting out there, taking up too much of the hall, plugged in. I wondered what it was doing up there, and then I walked downstairs and there was an empty space, with the chains that kept it against the wall discarded on the floor. The patch of floor that it once covered was disgusting with candy and soda residue.
The most likely cause was that someone decided they would sell more sodas if the machine was actually where people go to class, and moved it.
But man, it’s much more entertaining to think that someone moved it as some crazy joke, isn’t it? That someone learned the chain wasn’t locked or something and just got a dolly and moved it upstairs. Why is that a joke? Hell, I have no idea. That’s part of why it’s such a mystery.
I attempted to construct a mental image of someone who would have done that. They would probably be wearing a frat t-shirt and a baseball cap. There would probably be high-fives afterwards.
The dean would cry out. A picture of a puppy would be put in the dorm of the frat responsible, with a note attached reading “By order of the Dean”.
There would be tears. The frat members would take down the picture, only to have it be replaced, and a picture of a cute kitten added.
Soon, the entire dorm is filled with pictures of cuteness to punish those who dare rebell.
The Dean cackles evilly, and then points his browser towards Cute Overload.
This is the stupid bullshit I think about instead of paying attention in class.