The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I know why you come here. You come here for the cold hard facts. You want to know what’s really up in the world of toothpaste.

I’ve got you covered.

Freed from my mother’s house and the toothpaste she would often purchase for me and place in my bathroom like an extremely nice parent, I was free to buy any toothpaste I damn well pleased. When my tube was running out, I was excited by the prospect of a new, thrilling dental hygiene adventure. I went to the store, where I spied my normal toothpaste. Screw that! I looked lower on the shelf, and there was Crest Complete Citrus Splash toothpaste! It called to me. I have always been a citrus-loving person, and the idea of a toothpaste that did not taste like mint intrigued me. I had to find out. I purchased it.

Then, of course, my current toothpaste didn’t run out for like another month! This is the danger of those tubes that you don’t roll up like I was using. My dog even tried to eat the box the toothpaste was in during that month! Luckily, he was unsuccessful.

Anyway, I finally got to try it and, uh, wow. That was a mistake.

The taste is okay. It’s kind of like a watered-down orange soda? There’s nothing wrong with it. It is inoffensive on that front, and I am certainly going to use the whole tube. But I just didn’t consider how strong the mental connection of “Mint=Clean” is. It feels extremely wrong to brush my teeth with this stuff. Not to mention that, moments after I brush my teeth, I am normally using some minty mouthwash, which just kind of kills the orange taste in my mouth anyway. Add all this up, and realize that it’s not like I hate the taste of mint or anything, and I just really don’t see why I would need this sort of flavored toothpaste.

This has been one of my most boring posts to date! Stay tuned tomorrow, where I write about my experiences with a new brand of freezer bag! (Not really.)