The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

There is but one universal truth in the world.
Orcs Must Die.
Apparently.

Because I am like the only person not sick to death of Tower Defense games and their spin-offs, I watched the Quick Look for Orcs Must Die and was really intrigued. It looked extremely fast-paced, like fun arcade times! So I splurged on it, like I sometimes do on things. I’m not all the way through it. I’ve played a few levels here and there as I go along. I think there are 6 left? But I have really enjoyed the game.

Basically, you set up traps, such as spike floors and walls that shoot arrows, to kill orcs, which flood out of various doors on the map and try to get to some crystal or something that you’re trying to protect. You have a little sword thing and a fucking machine gun crossbow to attack orcs as well, and your own attacks are at least as important as the towers themselves. In fact, after you reach a certain point in the game, you can “spec” yourself for traps or for attacking yourself for each level in order to be more effective at whatever is going to be more effective on that stage, which lets you switch it up a bit.

The main character you run around as has a lot of character to him. The things he says are kind of stupid, but the way he’s animated is nice, so as I played while listening to podcasts and not the game audio, I rather liked his quick swagger sprinting about the level. The orcs, as well, are really well animated. They seem dangerous, but clumsy and stupid, and their fairly gore-ful death animations never cease to be entertaining as you play, which is a plus, since you may kill a lot of them. Their attack patterns are also interesting for games like this, as if you are even vaguely close to them, they will fucking mob and kill you instead of just running mindlessly for the goal, which makes you have to think a bit more on your feet when you’re just charging in.

The game is constantly giving you new traps and new magical items that let you cast various spells. I’ve gotten a lot of use out of the Wind Belt, for example, that lets me summon a blast of wind that blows enemies backwards, letting me push them back into traps to get hit a second time. I’ve also taken to the Flame Bracelet, which lets me throw AoE Fireballs into crowds and set them on fire, doing a short DoT. Many of them are very situational and you may never use them outside of the level you first get them, but there’s always something new to try if you want it, and the game rarely does something dickish to cut you off from favorite strategies completely. It’s also very difficult as the levels go forward. About halfway through, I flipped it to easy because it was getting super hard! There’s plenty of challenge if you want it.

I was happy to have spent my $15 bucks. Orcs Must Die may not be worth that to everyone, but at least give it a look when it goes on Steam Sale this holiday, as I assume it’ll be much cheaper than that. It is a very fun diversion and podcast game.