September 5, 2011
Same Time Every Day, Please.
Saturday, I worked late on Ad Set. Sunday, I got up super early to be at work at 6 AM, worked a shift, then came back and worked another shift at 5 PM. Today, I will be driving to St. Louis, driving back, then working another shift.
I’ve been working a lot.
I’m not complaining, perse? I’m glad I’m finding some sort of hours, and while Kohl’s has it’s problems as an employer, I really don’t mind working there. (I wouldn’t be working there 6 or so years later if I had problems.) I like most of the people there, everyone knows and trusts me, and everyone has been fantastic with all the changes going on in my life to boot. The experience of working is not a bad one. I don’t really mind it. At least I’m being useful, you know?
It’s really the lack of a schedule that bothers me. When I work is all over the place. It was before, when I was just doing ad set, but I still had structure in my life because my classes were structured and regimented at normal times throughout the day. Now, I don’t have that. I teach those two days a week at a set time, but otherwise I have no idea when I’m going to be working, or when I will be able to pick up a shift.
I’ve always been the kind of person who likes normalcy, and dislikes change, but it didn’t occur to me until I started picking up all these extra shifts and doing all this extra work how much not having a set weekly schedule bothered me. I feel lost, like I don’t know when it is. It’s harder to put things into a time perspective, something I am already terrible at, without being able to point at cycles in my life to determine how long it’s been. (Sort of a “Well, I’ve done that twice since we talked last, so two weeks ago?”) In a post-school world, I never figured that filling that time with work however I could would bring me down, but here we are.
Basically, I hope I can find a full time position for the scheduling benefits. I mean, other benefits, like not completely ass health insurance, will really help me too, don’t get me wrong. As well as, you know, money. But I’d like to get into a routine again. A routine would be nice. A routine would be relaxing.