August 20, 2011

I Pronounce His Name The Talkshow Host Way

I fell asleep during Conan.

I feel old.

Then again, I did go see it really the fuck late and night, and Molly woke me up at like 7 in the morning so it’s not like I slept much. But yeah, I saw Conan, which was quite a change of pace from the large amounts of My Little Pony Fanart I was looking at before I left for the film. There was a lot of bloods and there were many decapitations. There were also tits, but for better or worse, those were in some of the fanart, so it wasn’t that much of a change of pace in that regard.

Anyway, enough ponies while talking about Conan.
I feel like this is a hard movie for me to really give a good whatever about, not just because I dozed off. It was just so violent and so predictable, but at the same time, that sort of thing is what one would seem to be coming to see a Conan movie for. It’s certainly what Cara was coming for. She said it had all the boy eye candy and murder that she was hoping for, so good for her! I’m glad she liked it.

Seriously, though, it was pretty intense on the violence front. I can’t remember the last movie I watched that was so brutal directly. Guys had their heads smashed in on concrete in full view. You get to see lots of decapitated heads with nice entrails and shit. There were certainly a few times where I flinched away from the screen because of the violence level.

But yeah, plotwise, nothing unexpected happens. Conan’s father needs avenging. Conan ends up doing it, but first he accidentally ends up teaming up with a pretty lady type person to do it, who then gets captured, and you know. All that stuff. I couldn’t help but think about Glistening Chests while I watched, either. A personal holdup, sure.

The one thing I will mention that I was really impressed with is that the movie made damn sure to get those book cover painted vistas in there. To the point where they looked painted and obviously green-screened, but still. Certainly set the tone right, you know?

Anyway, yeah. It was an odd experience for me. Not a bad one, perse? But I certainly didn’t feel any connection to anyone in the movie. It seemed to offer up all the right visuals, but I wouldn’t call it a great film. Still, if you like Conan, I bet you’d like it. It would be fun. I think. This has been a terrible review, all infested with ponies.

P.S., Ponies.

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