July 1, 2011
Fortune Favors The Bold.
I got in the breastforms I ordered.
Now, when I was initially doing research for these, I got so depressed and angry. I even wrote this post. I just knew they were going to make me feel like a freak, like a fake, and generally make me feel worse. Still, I ordered them, so I’d have the option if I needed it. Then they came in, and I put them on.
Fuck, was I wrong.
I could look at myself in the mirror. I can never look in the mirror. My body looked right for once. It was real close. I was still a bit of a mess, because I just kind of am in general, but I looked like me. I looked like me.
They basically made me feel so good that, the next morning, as I was waiting about the house and wearing them, I didn’t want to take them off. But I was going out, so I should, right? I mean, surely I should.
It was then I remembered Avandra. She always says that “Fortune favors the bold.” She’s right. If I don’t go for it, I’ll never get it.
So, you know, I left wearing them, did all my stuff, came home. Later, I went to work wearing them. Fuck it, why not, right? Fortune favors the bold. Today, everyone invited me out to lunch, and while I gave them all warning, I wore them. Fuck it. I went shopping, I filled my prescription, I was wearing them.
I’m still getting sir’d instead of ma’am’d, but I’m wearing really androgynous clothing, so I’m not too surprised. More important, though, I don’t feel like a freak walking around. I feel like me.
Today, I finally filled my prescription. I’m on hormones. Things are happening. Things are getting better. I am more me than I ever have been, and fuck, it feels good. I am gentle, but bold, as my current title on Talking Time says. I am making shit happen. Hi world, I’m Alexis Long, and I am here.
I’m here.