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Rage was one of those iOS games that people wouldn’t shut up about how pretty it looked. “Man, it’s like a real game!” they said. The last game they said that about was Infinity Blade, which I scoffed at, until I played it, and then I had a decent amount of fun. So, you know, Rage was a dollar so I decided to try that too. Why not, right?

Rage is certainly a game.

Well, okay, I will say this about Rage. It proved to me that motion controls for a shooter actually work on iOS. I would have never thought it! But I turned it on to try it, and it actually seems like a legit way to play. After you get used to it, it makes whipping around quickly to hit multiple targets way easier than using a virtual thumbstick on the screen. It’s totally something you have to get used to, but I understand now why people would want it as an option.

Now the game that you play that way? Mm.

Rage is essentially a light gun game. You have several stages that your character walks through without you really controlling where he goes. You shoot at mutant to kill them, while picking up bonus money, health, and ammo. You can also shoot targets for more money, and dodge rocks enemies throw at you with a dodge button. You go for high score, and that’s about it, though I suppose there is a bit of a challenge surviving all the way through a level your first go-round on not-easy.

There’s definitely a little bit of finesse, I suppose. You have three weapons: a shitty pistol that has unlimited ammo, an assault rifle that looks like an AK-47 that can fire fast but only has marginally more punch than the pistol, and a shotgun that reloads slow as fuck but can kill most enemies in one shot, especially if it’s to the head. You have to balance finding ammo with shooting, and not go all trigger happy, because the pistol is not great to be stuck with. I actually started starting some runs out using the pistol, just to build up a surplus of ammunition for the other guns before I started really getting swarmed near the end.

Still, in the end, it’s kind of a light gun game without the visceral, fun feel of having a light gun in your hand while you play. Which does make it lose something. There’s also this announcer guy who they obviously think is supposed to be funny or endearing but really kind of falls flat, as far as I’m concerned. He’s like Mad Moxxie, but much less cool. I kind of wished he’d shut up after awhile, and then I remembered I could mute my iPad! So there’s that.

Anyway, it is a nice showpiece for how pretty 3D graphics on iOS can be, but it’s really just a little high score game to build hype for Rage. Which is weird, since who knows when that will be out and Rage has been out on iOS for awhile now. If you’re desperate to shoot things on iOS, I suppose there are probably worst uses for your dollar, but I wasn’t too impressed with it. Once I saw all the areas, I was kind of done.