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Dungeon and Coin is a trap.

I was preparing that list of iOS games yesterday, using the Appshopper site, and they had an ad on the side for a game called Dungeon and Coin. I thought I remembered hearing about this game somewhere, and it was free, so I downloaded it. Then, it consumed me.

Thing about those coin-pusher games. You know, the ones Essner can’t play enough of every time we go to Lambert’s? Picture one of those, only when you make coins fall down in a certain place, it spins a slot machine. This slot machine picks magic spells for attacks on enemies, who die and throw orbs and goodies on top of the pile of coins, which you can push off to collect and make more happen. You can use your coins and items to unlock new spells, new wheels on the slot machine, and so on. When you aren’t playing, you will build up about 35 free coins over time. You can buy more, of course, but really, I always won enough that I didn’t feel like I’d ever have a need to do that.

Seriously, though. This game is just fucking AMAZING at mesmerizing you. Shit is always happening. Spells are going off, throwing coins on top of coins, making them all bounce, and you’re getting combo bonuses for knocking several orbs off of the play area at a time and your little wizard is throwing magical spells and oh shit, a minigame just started and a big chest just appeared and pushing that chest off the side makes a bunch of little chests appear and OH SHIT, I JUST GOT A JACKPOT, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, I DON’T KNOW, BUT THERE’S A JEWEL NOW, GOTTA GET THAT JEWEL! It just keeps going and going. It’s relentless.
At the same time, it’s mostly going without your input. You can drop coins where you want, sure, but you normally have so many that you just flood an area with coins and make more push off. It kind of lacks the actual tenseness of “I have two quarters, can I win this?” that an actual coin push machine has. It’s just bells and whistles going off constantly. It’s Peggle’s Extreme Fever without having to win at a game first.

It’s free. Try it if you’d like. But even though I’ve probably put like 3 hours into this stupid thing at this point, I want to say that you shouldn’t play it. It’s really just not a game, perse. Still, it’s free, and it’s not restrictive enough to really force you to do it’s microtransactions, so there is that.

Just… man. I can’t believe I’ve played this game so much. Goodness.