The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

It is a well-known fact that Robots desire companionship in order to help them better understand the hu-mon concept of emotion. However, the problem is that all potential feline companions are always stored behind a complex series of doors and platforming challenges. This is why most robots decide to, instead, go on killing rampages instead of actually loving a kitty.

The hero of Robot Wants Kitty has decided that it would rather do a bite-sized Metroidvania instead of getting it’s cold, metallic gripping appendages bloody with the fluids of dead humans.

I am apparently a really easy sell. I received an e-mail from the guy who makes Galcon and it said that I should buy this game by a friend of his on the app store, and I totally did immediately. It was that simple to convince me. If you want me to buy your app, send me a mass e-mail, apparently.

Still, I bought it because I could have sworn I had heard of Robot Wants Kitty before. I do know it’s based on a flash game of the same name. I may have heard the name, though when I got into the game, it was clear I hadn’t actually seen it. Having taken a look at it now, the presentation and such has been really ratchet up for this iPod release, which is nice. Robot Wants Kitty is a fun time, and totally worth the dollar I paid for it.

The game is a Metroidvania in miniature. Each level is like a full Metroidvania game. You collect powerups that give you different abilities that unlock new paths that take you to new powerups until, eventually, you find the Kitty and win the game. Your first task is almost always to get the jump and the laser gun, so you can fight and maneuver, but after that, it varies. There are keycards, double jumps, extra hits, and such you can pick up. Some levels use all of them, and some do not. Some levels have bosses, and some don’t. Still, they all follow the same formula.

The game is a bit limited like that. There are only three enemies (and boss versions of those enemies), and a limited number of powerups and pickups. Still, the game makes that work. You’re never confused by how to solve a situation, but simply must learn the new level. Even someone who sucks like me can complete a level in, oh, 20 minutes or so. The game records times for every level for speedrun kind of situations: I’m sure someone who didn’t suck could go much faster.

The game has 6 levels, one of which is the original Flash game remade. If each one takes you 20ish minutes, like they have for me so far, that’s a pretty decent amount of content for your buck. However, the game also has something called “Kitty Connect.” This isn’t up and running yet, but this is basically going to be user-generated levels. There’s already a level editor in the game where you can build your own stages with the items and enemies in the game. This is a fantastic game, and the editor works really well on my iPad, as you’d expect. Of course, I can’t design worth shit, so I will never make a level worth anything, but the idea of eventually going back into the app and having some top user-created levels in that Kitty Connect menu is pretty sweet.

The only bad thing about this app is the music. I didn’t use to give a shit about music in iOS games because I’d always been playing a podcast on my iPod while I played them. Now that I’m gaming on this shiny iPad, I find I leave the music on really quietly and play the podcast through my computer or iPod. Thus, the music is a thing. It’s okay for a little bit, but there’s basically one song, and it’s repetitive and annoying. Still, you can just turn it off, so no big deal.

Basically, if you like a little Metroid with your Vania, pay your buck for this. It controls fine, and I’ve really enjoyed it so far.