September 30, 2010

Jeff Gerstmann Has Failed Me.

Driving home from St. Louis, I stopped for a beverage, as I often do. In town, I know the exact energy drink stock of every gas station, but when I commute, I find it interesting to see if there’s anything I haven’t tried or that looks good. Popping into a QT I hadn’t visited, I noticed cans of Rockstar Recovery. The attractive-looking cans triggered something in my tired mind, and I thought for a moment. Then I recalled: Jeff Gerstmann of the Gigantic Bomb tweeted about drinking one of those a few days ago! He is a crazy man who knows his energy drinks, I thought. He tries everything. Surely if he had picked this for his morning routine, it must be pretty solid.

So I bought two.

I always do this. I can dodge Buy One, Get One sales now, but something about “buy two for less than the cost of two” sales always get me, especially with energy drinks. I’m always going to need another one, right? Might as well get two now, and stash one at the office or something. I suppose I have worse habits.

If the title didn’t tip you off, Rockstar Recovery is completely disgusting. I cannot remember a worse beverage experience since I tried my first Red Bull. It tastes like incredibly watered-down lemonade kool-aid with a strong, plant-like aftertaste that makes me want to puke. Seriously, just recalling it to describe it for this post is making me feel kind of icky. After trying this and being amazed at how bad it was, I noticed one of the ingredients listed proudly on the can was “Milk Thistle.” What the fuck. No wonder it had such a horrifying aftertaste.

Jeff Gerstmann, you have failed me! At least in the purchasing drinks department. Still enjoy your work at Giant Bomb. But yeah, now I have a second, unopened can of this crap. What am I going to do with it? I have no idea.

I didn’t like Recovery either. Its only redeeming factor is being so low-cal.. Most other low-cal energy drinks are so god awful I can’t even finish the can.

I think Rockstar “Energy Cola” is pretty great. It’s the one in the black matte can. Though, I love Red Bull (sugarless is my afternoon stimulant of choice), so YMMV.

Comment by Belabor — September 30, 2010 @ 2:04 am

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