The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Everyone was all like, “Man, I hope Kevin Butler shows up at the Sony Press Conference!”

And then he did. And as his little segment went on, and on, and on, and on, everyone realized he’s really only funny in small doses.

And then there was a few more video montages.

That was basically the Sony press conference.

The moment I saw Nintendo’s press conference, I knew Sony was so completely fucked. I simply couldn’t imagine anything they could drop that would beat what Nintendo brought to the table. Even something like a PSP2 just wasn’t going to generate enough excitement. Move certainly wasn’t. I was correct on all accounts.

Sony’s big bombs were a new Twisted Metal and, finally, a release date for Gran Turismo 5. Frankly, I can’t see who would even give a shit about GT5 at this point, it’s been delayed for so long. Just play some Forza already! (She says as if everyone who wants to play car porn games has a 360.) Twisted Metal… I guess that’s cool? But it has such a stupid aesthetic and I certainly have absolutely no love for the franchise, and the demo they gave didn’t really give me any reason to care about it. I guess it made some people happy, but it didn’t really feel like a bomb to me.

About the only new game they showed off that I was like “Hmm, I’d like to play that,” was Sorcery. This is the most generic game ever, using Move, where you’re a wizard and you use your wand controller to cast spells in an active way. That seemed like a ton of fun, at least in short doses. Of course, being a Move title, I don’t know if I’ll ever play it. They announced Move pricing, but it’s just too expensive. Move is accurate, sure, but it just doesn’t bring anything I haven’t seen before to the table, and I don’t trust Sony to bring the kind of games I have to have to it, just I do Nintendo, for example.

Other than that, the press conference had weird missteps. There was a sizzle montage like… every 5 minutes, and they promoted their advertising several times. “Here’s an ad we’re going to be running.” “And we’ll have ads on Coke bottles! Sony Rules!” It was just kind of weird.

I’m sure they’ll continue to have some games on Playstation 3 and PSP that I have to play, but Sony brought nothing to this conference to change the fact that they’re really bottom-tier in both their races at this point. I could do without them if I had to. Of course, I don’t have to, because I’m a crazy gamer and have everything forever, but they simply aren’t a requirement. It’d be nice if Sony would get that changed. Maybe at some point they’ll figure that out.

And that’s all I’m going to say about E3. Aren’t you glad I’m done? Whew.