June 10, 2010
A Complete Failure to Post
Some days I just don’t know what to write.
This is one of those days.
I mean, I have things to write. I watched The Road, so I could write my impressions of that, and I have IoTMs to review and all kinds of stuff I could be writing about. But I’ve been staring at the post screen for awhile now, and I can’t write about those things right now. I’m just kind of held back. So I’m writing this instead.
There are so many things I could be doing. Games I could be playing through. Let’s Plays I could be doing (Unless my mood changes a lot soon, I just don’t see it happening, which frustrates me. I hate that… but I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried and tried to force myself to do it, but I’m in such a horrible mood, and it’s not really a priority… bleh). So much I could be working on, but I’m not.
I am so tired of being depressed.
I’ve been in an awful mood for weeks now, and it’s, frankly, getting to be really fucking annoying. Mostly because I haven’t been able to hide it well. I’ve been doing things like writing “Symptoms of Depression” on my list of things I brought into work in the thief book, and not being able to answer people when they ask me how I am. I hate bothering people with my shit. If I could, I’d just handle everything without involving them at all.
But they are involved with my life, completely involved. That’s both a blessing and a curse. I’m glad people are worrying about me, but I also wish I was in a state where they wouldn’t have to. I want to be a positive force, not a stupid bitch.
So… yeah… I don’t think I have it in me to write a good post today (Not that I ever do that, really). This is the only time I have left to write this, so I felt I had to write something, but this is… not what I wanted to write. I wanted to write happy things.
I want to be happy.
I’m working on it, I suppose.
Come back tomorrow, I’ll try to have something better.