June 9, 2010
We named him Martin.
I bought a dog toy because I had to save it.
This was, of course, while I was out running around with Cara. We were in Best Buy, and I turn and I catch sight of a fox tail out of the corner of my eye, so I have to go see what it is. It turns out it’s a dog toy that is basically a plushie, only without stuffing, so the dog can really rip it up and not make a mess. The pictures on the packaging showed many dogs holding this poor fox in their mouths and looking so happy, while the fox looked so sad, defeated, and resigned to fate.
I couldn’t let him sit there and go through that. I had picked one up to look at him, and I seriously couldn’t put him back. Cara probably thought I was weird. I got in the way of a woman carrying a large box. It was kind of silly.
Honestly, I feel kind of silly. This really would make a great dog toy. I bet Molly would love something like this. But she’s not going to get this one. I’m going to keep him safe. She’s not going to touch him. He’s mine.
Brer mentioned that I’ve been worked up, which I have, and the fact that it’s a fox probably triggered something for me, which it did. Maybe I feel like I’m in the jaws of a happy, nice, but destructive animal, and I’ve given up. Maybe I wish someone would draw me out of this stuff, and keep me safe. I don’t know.
I don’t know.