February 8, 2010
I told them.
I told my parents about my gender issues straight up on Saturday.
Granted, I had done this before, but when I did it went, how do you say… incredibly badly. There was fighting. It shattered confidence and I kind of went into hiding for years. That was fun.
But I built myself back up, and better than I was before. I matured, and became a better person, I think. Not that I wasn’t always a fine specimen.
And then, finally, I told them again. Better this time. Planned. With backup.
I did that.
I did it.
It went better than I had hoped. They both are worried of course. They don’t want me ruining my life, and that’s understandable. They don’t want me to go through with it. Also understandable, even if not something I feel like I can do. But I left those conversations with… an incredible sense of love. They aren’t going to abandon me. I mean, I didn’t really think they would? But I had built up that possibility in my head over the years… and it meant a lot that it didn’t happen. There was no fights. Very few tears. Just hugs and reassurances that they love me, and I love them. That’s… good.
And I feel so much better now that it’s out there. And this is only the first step. It’s all just beginning.
I think I’m ready for it.