The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

And I loved it.

I’m not all the way through it yet, but I am really enjoying My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It is not a show I am going to recommend to you unless you have a child in the appropriate age range for a show like this. Then goodness, get them in front of it. They should enjoy it, and you can rest assured that it’s better than a lot of the garbage out there for kids.
But man, I just love stuff for kids when it’s done with a level of respect for the audience. It makes me happy. It makes me grin.

I know I’ve talked about it before. I tried to find some reference posts about how I love childish things that are taken seriously, and I found this one, but I feel like I’ve written a lot more. I just love the formula. I can see right through it, of course. I’m versed enough in plots to know, within two minutes of an episode of Friendship is Magic, exactly what is going to happen throughout the episode, and I’m always right. It’s following a formula, for sure. But it’s a safe and relaxing formula. Horrible things can happen, but you know that they’ll be wrapped up by the end of the episode, friendships will be strengthened, and everything will move on. I like that formula when it’s done right. The problem is, to do it right, you have to have characters with at least a little depth to them, and that’s often where shows fall flat. The characters are empty placeholders because the people who make these shows assume that children don’t understand how people work, and don’t have even the most rudimentary level of empathy and ability to follow more complex plots and ideas.
I’m not going to attempt to pretend that the character of Twilight Sparkle is some genius invention of art, but she is a very well-rounded character. She demands a level of organization of people around her, but is very sloppy in her own research methods. She’s happy to have friends, but many of her passions involve alone time and solitude, and so she not only has trouble finding a balance between the two, but also figuring out how to actually interact with those around her in an effective way. These are all character traits that are relatable and realistic.
She’s also a fucking wizard, so that’s cool too.
Throughout the season as I have viewed it, every one of the main ponies has had their personalities fleshed out in this way. Even Pinkie Pie, who really seems like one-note comic relief on first glance, is actually fairly fleshed out. None of them is just always right. They bicker, they’re always flawed, and it’s only by working together do they come to a solution to issues that isn’t a huge problem. It’s a mostly ensemble cast, though Twilight Sparkle is obviously the focus, and it makes it so that no one character is the “win” button. So often in shows like this you have a situation where side characters fight, and sigh, it’s time for main character, or “God” or “parent” character who is always right, to come in and fix everything. That isn’t the case here. They come to their own conclusions, and work things out themselves. It’s nice.

People were going insane for this show. I ended up reading this article by the main person behind it due to a twitter post, and I really liked her approach and her frank discussion of how she wanted to make a show worth watching, and not just a toy commercial. Still, it wasn’t until I saw the love put into the animation through the silly music video Val linked me that I decided to check out the first episode and see if what Lauren Faust had said was actually reflected in the show itself. I’m 17 episodes in now, after being unable to stop loading up “one more,” and I feel like she, for the most part, succeeded in her goals and made a really fantastic children’s show.

I’ve been thinking about the character relationships, and the general workings of the entire world of Equestria all weekend. As a person who is trained via lit crit to read too much into everything, I’ve certainly found some interesting things about the general world that I keep trying to figure out in my head. For example, all ponies have something called a “cutie mark” (which is a terrible name and I hope was dictated to the creative team by the toy department) which they develop as they grow older and which reveals their special talent and passion. In some ways, this mirrors the normal process of going up, but in another, it’s something that really speaks to a level of fate being ingrained in Pony society. What marks you is the one thing you can do well, and thus should do. You shouldn’t aspire to do other things, because those aren’t your special talent. Applejack is marked with apples, and thus should work on the apple orchard. That’s it. This sits potentially wrong with me, but says something interesting about the world. Similarly, Pegasus are in charge of changing the weather in this society. Seasons don’t change on their own, but only change via hard work, and those with wings are responsible for quite a lot of making sure nature is functional. They’re expected to bend the natural order to their will, but at the same time, Fluttershy is a pegasus who is totally focused on being in harmony with nature. Is she actively fighting against her place in the world? Or does her mark exempt her from that, because she is obviously supposed to deal with nature? Also, the prestigious ponies up in the capital of Canterlot simply use magic to change the weather and seasons, while those in Ponyville must resort to days and days of hard work to make nature happen. Does Princess Celestia not care about the plight of the working pony in the fields?

Also, Magic is Science, but Magic is also Friendship. Is Science actually Friendship? IS IT?

This is the kind of bullshit I think about, and will continue to think about as I load the next episode to watch while I eat. At least I am in good company, and am not the only one thinking about this kind of ridiculous stuff for fun.

I had heard good things, so I went on my iPad and downloaded Shadow Era. It’s a free-to-play CCG that uses microtransactions for getting new cards. The best part is that they have an “open platform” stance. Your account lets you play on the web, on iOS, on Android, and so on. I love me a card game, and I’m not unwilling to drop a few bucks on additional cards, so I was excited to try it.

The game runs pretty well on the iPad! Although there is a bit of a learning curve with the interface, I never had any problem picking what I wanted to do. The game seems strongly based on the WoW CCG, which is a good base. WoW is a pretty good game, and the preconstruct deck I picked out was pretty good. I was enjoying playing against the built-in AI.

Brer got on, and I’m like, hey, maybe I’ll try playing a game against a real opponent! I mean, it was free, and he could play on the web and face me, right? So I told him to get an account and we’d throw down. I clicked on the “Challenge” tab in the menu so I could challenge him to a game. That’s what you do in card games, right? I was shown a list of ongoing games, but none I could join. The only button on the screen was “quick match.” I figured that meant they didn’t have ranked games yet or something. I clicked on it to make a room for Brer to join.

It threw me into a random match with a random dude.

I searched the FAQ, the forums, all around the menus, and I confirmed it. There was no way to play against a friend.

You know what would get me to pay a few bucks to buy cards? Being able to play a fun card game with my friends. Know what I can’t do in this game? Play with my friends. Competitive play isn’t fun unless I have a complete card pool to build decks from, and I’m not going to get invested enough to buy a full card pool without getting my friends involved and playing. For a game so polished, I was shocked it was missing such a simple, vital feature.

I wouldn’t doubt they will eventually add it, and when they do, I would suggest giving the game a try. But right now? It’s kind of useless. Good job, guys.

It is a well-known fact that Robots desire companionship in order to help them better understand the hu-mon concept of emotion. However, the problem is that all potential feline companions are always stored behind a complex series of doors and platforming challenges. This is why most robots decide to, instead, go on killing rampages instead of actually loving a kitty.

The hero of Robot Wants Kitty has decided that it would rather do a bite-sized Metroidvania instead of getting it’s cold, metallic gripping appendages bloody with the fluids of dead humans.

I am apparently a really easy sell. I received an e-mail from the guy who makes Galcon and it said that I should buy this game by a friend of his on the app store, and I totally did immediately. It was that simple to convince me. If you want me to buy your app, send me a mass e-mail, apparently.

Still, I bought it because I could have sworn I had heard of Robot Wants Kitty before. I do know it’s based on a flash game of the same name. I may have heard the name, though when I got into the game, it was clear I hadn’t actually seen it. Having taken a look at it now, the presentation and such has been really ratchet up for this iPod release, which is nice. Robot Wants Kitty is a fun time, and totally worth the dollar I paid for it.

The game is a Metroidvania in miniature. Each level is like a full Metroidvania game. You collect powerups that give you different abilities that unlock new paths that take you to new powerups until, eventually, you find the Kitty and win the game. Your first task is almost always to get the jump and the laser gun, so you can fight and maneuver, but after that, it varies. There are keycards, double jumps, extra hits, and such you can pick up. Some levels use all of them, and some do not. Some levels have bosses, and some don’t. Still, they all follow the same formula.

The game is a bit limited like that. There are only three enemies (and boss versions of those enemies), and a limited number of powerups and pickups. Still, the game makes that work. You’re never confused by how to solve a situation, but simply must learn the new level. Even someone who sucks like me can complete a level in, oh, 20 minutes or so. The game records times for every level for speedrun kind of situations: I’m sure someone who didn’t suck could go much faster.

The game has 6 levels, one of which is the original Flash game remade. If each one takes you 20ish minutes, like they have for me so far, that’s a pretty decent amount of content for your buck. However, the game also has something called “Kitty Connect.” This isn’t up and running yet, but this is basically going to be user-generated levels. There’s already a level editor in the game where you can build your own stages with the items and enemies in the game. This is a fantastic game, and the editor works really well on my iPad, as you’d expect. Of course, I can’t design worth shit, so I will never make a level worth anything, but the idea of eventually going back into the app and having some top user-created levels in that Kitty Connect menu is pretty sweet.

The only bad thing about this app is the music. I didn’t use to give a shit about music in iOS games because I’d always been playing a podcast on my iPod while I played them. Now that I’m gaming on this shiny iPad, I find I leave the music on really quietly and play the podcast through my computer or iPod. Thus, the music is a thing. It’s okay for a little bit, but there’s basically one song, and it’s repetitive and annoying. Still, you can just turn it off, so no big deal.

Basically, if you like a little Metroid with your Vania, pay your buck for this. It controls fine, and I’ve really enjoyed it so far.

Ha, you came here, thinking you’d get content, but instead, you just received a list of links! This is the best April Fool EVER!

I dare you to stop watching this animated gif.

I dare you to watch this video involving ponies that has been stuck in my head since Val linked me to it and will not get out of there.

Wait, you wanted funny jokes? Maybe you’d like a humorous png image?

This says so much about Reginald’s outlook on the world.

This says so much about the world in general.

This image is posted without comment.

Oh, right, people were really mad at Scott Adams for being an amazingly sexist idiot because of this. I remember that now. Man, that tab has been open for awhile.

Very good – Attractive

Have a lovely Foolish April Day and remember: Friendship really is Magic.

Talking to Cara over a Tendercrisp Chicken Sandwich, I realized I don’t give a shit.

Okay, wait, no, let me try that again.

Talking to Cara over a Tendercrisp Chicken Sandwich, I realized that I don’t much give a shit about what other people think.

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I am very based upon my own little world, my own little sphere of influence. If you’re in that sphere, man, I really care about you! You’re awesome. Ask me for favors, and hugs, and so on and so forth. I’ll do what I can. If you’re outside that sphere, though, I’m going to be polite because I am a polite person, but if you disagree with what I’m doing and it isn’t actively fucking you over, well, you can go die in a fire.

As real, actual changed based upon my gender shit nears actually occurring in my life, I find myself worrying like crazy about things like clothes. How am I going to look feminine? How am I going to project to every person I pass on campus that I am, in fact a woman? Thinking about this makes me sick, really. I have no idea how to dress like a woman. I don’t even particularly want to.

See, that last sentence is important. I don’t really particularly want to. I’m only doing it because other people expect it of me. And who are these other people? I don’t know. They certainly aren’t in my circle. Those in my circle don’t give a shit, because they know who I am. I don’t have to dress up for them. I mean, you know, as long as I’m not embarrassing, it’s not a big deal. They get it. I can be casual and comfortable.

Here’s the thing: now that my identity is not in jeopardy, I’m much less down on “masculine” styles and shit. The idea of being a woman who wears more “male” sorts of dress clothes and things has an appeal, whereas before, when I was more in a state of panic, the idea of doing that would have made me cry. Plus, I mean, fuck, what do other girls who play video games, blog on the internet, and play board games wear? Exactly what I wear on a daily basis, although maybe the t-shirts are, sometimes, of a different cut.

There are still some clothing-related things I need to get in order, but seriously, it’s not worth freaking out about something I don’t actually want to do. A huge part of the reason why I am doing all this stuff is because I want to have control over my life. Why I am letting my bid for freedom be caught up in having to adhere to completely different rules is beyond me. So let’s not do it, yeah? I like you, I don’t like wearing super-girly clothing, let’s go play You Don’t Know Jack. (Did I do that right, Advice Hot Dog?)

I am someone who enjoys a twitter or two. I mean, I look at my twitter all the time. I have a monitor partially dedicated to just displaying tweetdeck at all times.

Flipboard is quickly becoming my favorite way to look at twitter.

Okay, so the webpage and the demo video seem pretentious as fuck, and I’m sure anyone who has had an iPad before me already knows about Flipboard, but seriously, it’s kind of amazing. Twitter is, in many ways, the way I get the news that I give a shit about. I follow cool people who link cool things, and Flipboard will magically lay out a whole day’s worth of tweets and all the articles and pictures within it and make it easy to browse and see what I missed. I can tap on the blurbs to pull up the articles in the app, tap on pictures to make them full screen, and tap on videos to play them. It even, somehow, knows which tweets that don’t include content are the cooler ones, and will just put little statements in big boxes alongside the articles to make me chuckle. I have no idea how it does this. It rarely highlights tweets that aren’t amazing. Everything is laid out in a nice-looking way. It is really kind of magic. You just don’t often see a lot of thought being put into the design of things that aggregate content like this.

I don’t know if I would have paid for it before I tried it, but now that I have, I really would drop a few bucks on this. I don’t have to, of course, but I would. It is a fantastic way to read web content, to the point that I find myself opening it to look at what’s going on on twitter when I’m sitting in front of the computer here. I kind of wish I could plug in straight RSS feeds into it to create a separate little Flipboard magazine of all the blogs and stuff I read when I remember to. That would also be awesome. I’m not sure how to do that unless those blogs have twitter posts, though. Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe it’s just a different app for that sort of thing. Maybe I just need to follow the twitters of more blogs I like. But I wouldn’t enjoy just a straight stream of links… hm.

In any case, Flipboard is made for the platform, works flawlessly every time I use it, and is totally free. If that’s not a reason to grab it, I don’t know what is. I’m sure I’ll keep using it at least once a day. I mean, we’ll see of course, but yeah. Solid.

I think I’m still pretty sick of the Zelda formula.

I was playing Okamiden, which I got from Gamefly, and I was having a pretty good time. The game struggles to do all the things in 3D that the developers wanted it to. The combat is not all that fluid, for instance. But it was going pretty good so far and, of course, the brush skills worked so, so much better with a stylus. I beat the first boss, and I’m like, “This is going great! What a nice little game.”

Then I put it down and had no need to continue playing it. When it became obvious I wasn’t going to pick it up again, I sent it back.

Seriously, Okamiden is cute as fuck and seems like it would be a really enjoyable game, but I also felt like I was, in many ways, going through the motions. Here’s the puzzle dungeon. Here’s the puzzles one can do with this power. Here’s a bunch of really, really slow cutscenes with dubious entertainment value. I knew most of what was going to happen before it happened. The boss I fought was really the highlight: he was pretty fresh. Everything else was pretty standard stuff.

I feel this way every time I try to pick up a Zelda-like game. Darksiders did the same thing to me, though admittedly I stuck with it for longer than this. I just can’t keep going with it. I guess I just don’t feel that the time investment I have with those games are worth the enjoyment I get out of them anymore. Fair enough, I suppose. I should really just stop trying them. Maybe I’ve just moved on from them, much like I have the RTS genre. Is that really so bad?

Essner and I have played all the way through Army of Two: The 40th Day at this point. We beat it. We did it, bro.

It is a really terrible game.

It’s frustrating, really, as a game completely based on co-op with really, really stupid bro-action really could be a lot of fun, especially with the really robust and ridiculous weapon customization the game has. That’s why I really wanted to play it. However, they completely ruin it with several big mistakes, which I would love to go over with you right now, and thus will.

1. The Controls Are Ass.
When you look at something like Gears of War, and look at the number of things the A button does, it’s a very big list! However, Epic was smart enough to make sure that there’s only one possible thing the A button can do at any time. Though I’m sure it’s happened once or twice, I can’t really recall a time when I pressed A and something I didn’t want happened in Gears of War. If it happened, it didn’t leave an impression.
The list of things each button does in 40th Day is much longer, and the game is constantly doing the wrong thing. I can’t count the times I jumped out of cover instead of reviving Essner, or started a game of Rock Paper Scissors instead of reloading my gun. They tried to add so many completely useless little tidbits with nowhere to put them on the controller, and it makes the game feel more frustrating because of it. It got us killed fairly often. It was bullshit.
What really gets me, though, is that the D-Pad doesn’t really seem to be used for anything. They could have mapped things like switching to attachments, switching weapons, and things like that to the D-Pad. It would have made more sense, and be much quicker to use in combat. Instead, it does nothing. Excellent.

2. The Shouldering Mechanic Sucks Ass.
This is basically a control issue, but it is such a big issue that it really needs to be it’s own entry. Most 3rd person shooters will automatically and dynamically switch which shoulder you have your gun against when it needs to for you to get a clear shot. This makes it easy to do the shot you want. However, the makers of 40th Day decided they wanted to give you an extra level of control by letting you switch shouldering by clicking in the right stick. Now, more control isn’t bad, perse. I could see situations where you might disagree with how the game thinks you want to hold your gun, and thus would want to switch it yourself. However, this is an edge case, and not really applicable 90% of the time. In practice, this shouldering mechanic just makes you have to fumble with it in order to get a view of the battlefield, and makes it near impossible to quickly make a shot in a dire situation. You end up fighting the controls, not the enemies, and that’s a problem.

3. The Bosses Are Ill-Conceived.
I will put up with a lot of bullshit as far as video game bosses are concerned. But 40th Day takes place in something similar to the real world. The idea that firing 6 grenade launcher rounds and hitting a man in the face will not injure him is stupid. This is especially true when the “solution” to killing him involves blowing up a bag of grenades attached to his ass. I really don’t care how “heavy” the armor is. It’s a really stupid design. Sure, have the shortcut to make the boss easier, but the idea that I can hit a boss point-blank with explosives over and over again to no effect is just ridiculous.

4. They Don’t Understand The Concept Of Checkpoints.
Most chapters in this game have 1 to 2 checkpoints. Chapters are very long. Often, you will end up having to redo a firefight before trying a boss again, and again, and again. Oh, right, I already wrote about this. It’s still true, and didn’t change the entire way through the game.

I’d mention the story as well, which is completely nonsensical and random, but that’s less of an issue to me. It’s a shooter. Who gives a shit about the story? Not me, certainly! Let’s just say that it is not good, and the story ends with a guy holding a dead man’s switch… only he isn’t actually pressing the button, meaning it’s not activated, though he’s pretending it is. Fantastic.

I had fun playing through the game because I played through it with Essner, and we insulted it the entire time. Also, as I mentioned, the batshit insane weapon customization system is a ton of fun to fuck around with, and is the highlight of the game. I wish it had appeared in a game that wasn’t ass. Still, I can’t really recommend 40th Day in any way. It is a bad game. There are better co-op shooters out there. Play those.

Spamalot is a strange show.

Now, don’t get me wrong. The show was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed going. The little touches, like the fake program before the program and the audience participation elements were hilarious, and really smart. Most of the jokes were pure Python. The fourth wall was constantly broken, much like in the movie it was based on. If you have a chance to see it and don’t hate Musical Theater on principal, you will probably enjoy yourself if you go.

However, I just had to wonder who the show was targeted towards.

Spamalot was, by far, at its best when it was deviating from the original movie. My favorite song remains You Can’t Succeed On Broadway because it is completely unexpected, completely hilarious, and involves such ridiculously wonderful wordplay as the line “there’s a very small percentile who enjoys a dancing gentile.” It’s fresh, it’s awesome, and all the added parts were a joy to see.
However, between them, you had all the classic bits from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. You had the swallow conversation. You had the French taunting scene exactly as it was before. You had the conversation telling the guards how to guard the prince. These were repeated at the audience by actors who were doing a great job but, let’s face it, aren’t the Pythons and never will be.

These bits are still hilarious, of course, because they were brilliant when they were written. However, the reason you would make a musical based on The Quest for the Holy Grail is that you would get fans of the movie in there. These fans know these bits by heart, and can quote them verbatim at a moment’s notice. I enjoyed hearing them again, but when I am then presented with something new and hilarious, I wondered why they didn’t just go all out and make the whole show something new with that Python sense of humor. Would some people feel insulted by this? I guess so. I guess it makes sense that someone would have went to see this musical instead of popping their DVD into the player at home. But man, it’s obviously it’s own thing. It has to be to even work as a musical. I would have rather had a complete overall with the same general plot and some occasional refbacks.

Then again, I suppose when you do something like that you end up with something like Spider-man: Turn Off The Dark. But I guess I have a bit more faith in someone nailing something like Monty Python, because there’d be way more respect out there for what they do and you’d have someone writing it who gave a shit.

That’s really what struck me about the show. It almost seemed strange. But it was a fun evening, I must admit. Totally worth my time. I enjoyed myself.

As part of my taking command of shit, I got a game of A Penny For My Thoughts together. I bought this game because it sounded cool, and I read it and it did sound cool. But it was just on that stack of games I really didn’t think I’d ever get to play with my friends. However, as part of my take-charge attitude, I realized that they would enjoy it, but would never decide to play on their own. I was being asked to do something with people for my birthday, so I hatched a plan and forced the game to be played. People wanted to do something with me, so I twisted it, searched through a million frustrating boxes, and bam, there we were.

The back of the book has several optional different versions of the game. The basic game is about real-world drama and problems. I knew none of my group would take that seriously, so I decided to use the Cthulhu-based version that was included, thinking there was a slim chance that that might be taken with a bit more seriousness. I mean, it wasn’t, but there was a better chance! Still, that was kind of the setup.

Of course, Penny is a game for a small group, and we ended up having a big group. Thus, we only really got past the first round of the three round therapy session. Still, tons of fun was had. Watching Spants dig himself farther and farther into a hole with the sort of details he was setting up his story with was fantastic. Watching Shauna really work it with the ad-libbing and Jonathan fight desperately to attempt to make his story separate from everyone else’s even as everyone tried to draw him into an overall narrative was also enjoyable.

Early in the game, I read a list of example memory triggers from the book. One of these was “your family’s ski lodge.” Essner blamed me for this, but it was all his doing: from that point forward, everything seemed to involve a ski lodge in some way. This ski lodge was somehow adjacent to a farm as well as a Molasses Factory with a trap door which lead down into a constantly burning funeral pyre to burn werewolves who have converted to Judaism and joined the all-Jewish Mafia and trapeze artist circus act. Also, at some point beeswax was being used as a contraceptive.

That’s the kind of game we were playing.

Still, my gut instinct was right. Having actually tried it, everyone seemed to walk away from the session with a very high opinion of the game, though all agreed that a small group for it would probably be best. I got to have the role-play game I wanted on my birthday, and everyone got to have fun. We even got to eat some of Cara’s cake she made! Seems like a success to me. I have all the gear to finish the game still. I’m unsure if we’ll ever actually finish it, or play another, but I kind of hope so. It is good fun.