The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I’m just going to talk about some more stuff about Aesa moving in. Sorry. It’s what is on my mind.

It’s strange to be treated like a woman in a relationship constantly.

I don’t mean that people don’t respect me and shit in my life otherwise. For the most part, people are awesome. But I also have a history with them, of course, which does play into our interactions. Frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way: I didn’t leave here for a reason. I don’t want to burn those bridges to the past. There was a lot of depression in my past, but a lot of awesome shit too. No reason for it to go away.

But being around someone who has always thought of me as a woman and whom I am so close to is just… interesting. The dynamic is so different. I mean, it’s been different with other people too. It’s not like I didn’t feel like a woman around Brer. It’s just I’ve always, for the most part, been a tomboyish force in that relationship and some of the “stuff” I am seeing now just isn’t his style. He’s not a super-emotional guy on the outside. He doesn’t believe in tradition for tradition’s sake. All that is part of who he is, and why I love him, and I feel super comfortable and happy around him.

Aesa, though, is kind of a classic romantic. He brought me chocolates on Valentine’s. He showed up to the house with flowers. He wants to drive me everywhere (Brer did this too, but that didn’t trigger this because that just made practical sense: he knew the area and I didn’t). He orders for me at restaurants. He insists on paying for everything.
It’s… nice! It’s nice. It’s a blush-inducing change of pace. Not necessarily better. But it’s nice. It just really throws me off. I’ve been used to doing things like paying and taking charge in this stuff all my life. None of that felt like I was doing the wrong thing or something. I never really felt like I was being forced to play a role I didn’t fit into with that stuff (unlike other things in my life). Now I’m in this situation where I feel almost in competition about it. I’m having a polite dating etiquette war. It’s just weird.

It’s not just that stuff either. I don’t know. Here is a moment from the other day. I asked Aesa what he was watching. He said it was a movie that was really violent, and thus probably not my sort of thing. This statement kind of confused me until I realized that he’s saying it’s a guy movie, and that was kind of the first time someone had put up a barrier because “it’s a male thing” in reference to me.

It’s interesting times for me, I guess is what I’m saying. It’s taken more time to get my head around than I thought it would. But if worrying about how I’m interpreting this stuff is the biggest thing on my mind right now, I’d say life is going pretty fucking wonderful.