The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

They mentioned Godville on a podcast I listen to and so I downloaded it. Because I am a sheepfoxbunny who will buy any iOS game I’m told to. Of course, it was free. You can also play it on the website, I guess, but I’ve only really played in the iPad app.

Do you remember Progress Quest? This is basically just Progress Quest. But it’s like… bad. I remember when I first played Progress Quest. I found many of the items and shit funny. Then again, maybe that had something to do with how the game taught me awesome words like Vambrace. In any case, the mechanics within were kind of novel and a solid critique of the time, and I found the writing funny for the bit I played the game.

Godville just doesn’t have that. I mean, I appreciate they’re good enough to give credit where it’s due to Progress Quest on their website. I can dig that. But it’s just not funny. All the monsters and little comments my hero makes just don’t make me smile. They are like, the very worst jokes. They are like 4th grade jokes, and not even dirty ones. It’s really kind of a shame. I hear many of the items, enemies, and so on are made via a player submission system, which is probably why they just aren’t up to snuff. I just really expect more actual comedy from my comedy games.

Godville does attempt to mix up the formula. You’re a god or goddess, so you can send messages to your hero for minute amounts of control. You can Encourage or Punish them. You can revive them if they die. You can shout messages from the heavens at them. You really don’t get to do this enough for it to be engaging, though. The Encourage or Punish just… I don’t know! They probably only affect your hero’s motivations at specific points, but the game doesn’t make that very clear. Similarly, I looked up on the wiki what words made your hero do something, and it is a very small amount! What’s worse, often the hero will ignore them because she’s doing something else, or started an action as you sent the command. You can pay them for more power to give these commands, but eh. I don’t know why you would. They don’t do enough!

I dunno. It doesn’t need much interaction, I suppose, much like Progress Quest, so that’s nice. You can check on it every day or every week, and it works, I suppose. The reward would be looking in on your hero and going “Oh shit, that is one wacky item or skill you’ve learned, hero!” But they’re just not that well written, so it doesn’t give me that.

It’s free. You can try it. But I’m really not impressed with it. Oh well.