May 19, 2010
Bluuz Attek
Since last Friday, say, I’ve been in a horrible depressive funk. It’s kind of shitty. I’ve been working on Assassin’s Creed 2 and hiding to attempt to combat this, but I don’t know how well it’s gone. I’ve basically been lashing out at Brer and being pretty stupid and secluded. Cara said I was “absent.” I guess that works.
I really wish I had a handle for why I get like this. I mean, I have theories. I’m burning all my social energy and I’m running out, or my body just decides it’s not going to take any more and needs a break. I don’t know. I just hate how awful I am. I hate not really understanding why I feel so horrible, and I hate that these situations have come back. I used to be able to ignore them, or at least keep them to one evening, but this shit has gone on for like 4 days and may still continue. I don’t know.
Anyway, moodiness sucks and I hate it, the end.
Still, I guess it’s nice to have a little time to indulge it. And I survived the semester with a 4.0, even with everything I was fighting with the whole time.
I have it together. Kind of. Even if I am completely broken sometimes.
Yep.