May 3, 2010

Ramblings about Being Anxious

I’ve been having some really bad mood day lately.

Uselessly, I’ve been trying to pin down why. I mean, I know that I have had a lot of shit on my plate recently. Lots of things are going on here at the end of the semester. But it seems like that’s just making it worse. It isn’t the cause. It feels like there’s something deeper behind it, that I can’t get to, and I can’t figure out. I try and I try to connect the dots and figure it out, but I fail. It’s so damn frustrating.

It’s like there’s a hollow place in my stomach, and then a pressure on my chest. It makes it hard to breathe, and sometimes I have to just stop, and focus on breathing for awhile. It’s really kind of annoying. Brer says it sounds like anxiety, so I’ve been using that word, but hell if I know.

Basically, yeah, if you’ve seen me looking like shit recently, it’s probably that which was going on. People have been asking me if I’m alright, so I feel like it’s been pretty bad this last week and whatnot. Which is annoying. I don’t want to bring people down with my stupidity. But what are you going to do, I guess. I’m doing what I can to combat it. I’m getting my work done, I’m seeing a doctor, and so on. Not like I can do much more than keep working on it.

Work work work, etc etc etc.

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