April 12, 2010
The Battle Continues
My parents still disapprove.
I guess I should have known this would happen when they were faced with something more… real relating to these issues. It only makes sense. I know where they stand, and they aren’t going to like me moving forward. It’s not surprising.
They tell me I’m moving too fast. I try to tell them I’ve been working on this for a decade, but they don’t seem to take that as fact.
A lot of what’s frustrating with this situation is that I need to take the high ground. That means that, in a lot of cases, I can’t point out the flaws in their logic. From this last conversation, apparently I can’t even offer counterarguments or explanations, or suggest things to help them, without being some evil manipulator who is only trying to further my own goals. Granted, I am trying to further my own goals, but it’s really less sinister than that. I don’t want to trick them. I don’t need to trick them into loving me. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to help and I don’t want to explain myself.
I’m not mad at them, perse. I’m really frustrated with them, sure, but not mad. This is fucking traumatic stuff we’re talking about here. It’s natural for them to be upset, and I’m fine with that. I just wish they’d realize I was an adult, and that I wasn’t jumping into this. That’s really the part that gets me, when they tell me I have absolutely no experience in the world and am absolutely clueless, when they know that isn’t true. Plus, I’ve put way, way more thought into this than I think I should have. I did my time, and I am doing this right.
To my credit, I didn’t back down, and I won’t. I am going to do the best I can to make myself happy, and to deal with this shit. I’m not going to let them stop me. I love them, and I appreciate their worry. But I have to do what’s best. I can’t make this convenient for everyone, unfortunately.