The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I was playing a game of LoL with Essner. We were actually doing pretty good! I was playing as Sivir and wasn’t having any huge fuck-ups.

Then I guy named Curv told me I fucked up and should get off the game.
Maybe this would be understandable if I had done something, but I hadn’t done anything wrong at that moment. I was double-teamed, and I ran away, because there was nobody close. It was really annoying.

So I enacted a plan.

“Thank you for your valuable advice!” I said.

“Good. Now Uninstal,” he said.

“Oh, but I could never do that. Now that you’ve graced me with your advice, we should be able to win with no problem! If only more people would help useless players like myself with such advice, nobody would ever lose!” I said.
And then, in a stroke of genius, I kept going.
Every moment I didn’t have to click, I was writing more and more singing Curv’s praises. Telling him how much of a genius he was at the game, and how everything that came out of his mouth was the most useful thing I had ever heard. He would tell me to shut up. I would respond, “But then, how could I sing your praises? Everyone needs to know how much you’re helping me.” Then I’d keep right on going.

Eventually, he told me he had fucked my mother last night. I went on to thank him for doing such a wonderful job pleasuring her, and for being such a kind and gentle lover. I went on and on about how wonderful it was watching him make love to my mother, and that through that act, I knew his true feelings for me.

All this was going on while I was fighting beside him, healing him, and supporting him, of course.

As the game ended, I, of course, talked about how I could never have contributed to our win without him, and that I and my mother were looking forward to seeing her in the bedroom very soon.

Then I sent him a friend request.
It was immediately denied.

Never have I had so much fun in a game. I can’t wait to try it again. I really can’t. Bring it on, assholes. I’m ready to idolize you.