February 3, 2010

Thinking ahead to my schedule is a bad idea.

I’ve been feeling fairly stressed lately.

I mean, I’ve been getting everything done. That’s not the problem. But to fit in everything I have going on, my life has sort of become hyper-scheduled. I like routine, but I like my routine to have big spaces of nothing where I can just do whatever strikes me as a good idea to decompress. I’m really not getting that this semester. Most of that kind of time in my schedule is being eaten up by driving to St. Louis for my appointments and such. It’s 5-6 hours of free time I’d have every week eaten up by it. I mean, it’s not wasted time, but it is time I am losing.

I don’t know. Maybe I haven’t been sleeping right. Maybe I still haven’t gotten into the swing of things. But feeling stressed sucks. I used to run away from it and basically failed two years of college because of it, you know? I had thought I was pretty good at getting such things away from me. But as I think ahead to, say, when I’m going to get to continue working on Mass Effect 2 and beating it, it really gets to me, because I can’t think of a good time to do that. Much less run my KoL turns, be involved in the Twilight Heroes event, finish Forumwarz Episode 3… so many fun goals I want are just completely set aside. That sucks.

I’m going to survive without problem, you know? It’s not a problem. It’s not enough to break me. But it is certainly testing me, which is very unfortunate. I wish I could be having a low-stress time. But there’s so much happening in my life, it just doesn’t seem like it’s going to work out that way, at least not for this semester.
Oh well.

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