The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I’m sick!
Yay!

My guess is that I got Strep from my brother. I’m going to the doctor soon after this, and we’ll see. But man, I am ill. I have pushed myself too hard, and now I am ill, right when I don’t need to be.

Yay.

I really care about getting shit done. There’s lots of shits to get done! But I’m driving myself crazy and stressed by doing it. And then this happens.

It’s totally sweet.

So, yeah, I’m going to be in bed if you need me. Not like I have time to be, but I’m doing it anyway. Yay.

My parents still disapprove.

I guess I should have known this would happen when they were faced with something more… real relating to these issues. It only makes sense. I know where they stand, and they aren’t going to like me moving forward. It’s not surprising.

They tell me I’m moving too fast. I try to tell them I’ve been working on this for a decade, but they don’t seem to take that as fact.

A lot of what’s frustrating with this situation is that I need to take the high ground. That means that, in a lot of cases, I can’t point out the flaws in their logic. From this last conversation, apparently I can’t even offer counterarguments or explanations, or suggest things to help them, without being some evil manipulator who is only trying to further my own goals. Granted, I am trying to further my own goals, but it’s really less sinister than that. I don’t want to trick them. I don’t need to trick them into loving me. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to help and I don’t want to explain myself.

I’m not mad at them, perse. I’m really frustrated with them, sure, but not mad. This is fucking traumatic stuff we’re talking about here. It’s natural for them to be upset, and I’m fine with that. I just wish they’d realize I was an adult, and that I wasn’t jumping into this. That’s really the part that gets me, when they tell me I have absolutely no experience in the world and am absolutely clueless, when they know that isn’t true. Plus, I’ve put way, way more thought into this than I think I should have. I did my time, and I am doing this right.

To my credit, I didn’t back down, and I won’t. I am going to do the best I can to make myself happy, and to deal with this shit. I’m not going to let them stop me. I love them, and I appreciate their worry. But I have to do what’s best. I can’t make this convenient for everyone, unfortunately.

I’m working on my paper for Research Methods, of course. It’s a horrible job, and I feel like I suck at research. It’s painful, and I’m bad at it. I like reading a good theory, and I like synthesizing it into my own thought process, but the whole finding relevant works bit? I hate that shit.

Still, maybe I’m not as shit at it as I thought, at least.

I had to find some actual, physical books for this paper, so I ended up finding these two ancient tomes. One was published in 1908, with browning pages that are nearly falling out of the book. The other was published in a comically old-style cover, which promised a “modern look” at poetry. Every page has horrible purple pen underlining every paragraph. “These are so damn old,” I told myself. “I’m supposed to be writing about modern trends in research for this shit, and here I am going to be, using these ancient books. I’m awful.” However, I was on a deadline, and had to have some books, so I rented them out to use.

Later, I was looking through my research, and I was reading the many articles I printed out. I was shocked, and pleased, that nearly every modern article on the subject I’m writing on referred to at least one, if not both of those ancient books. They were very relevant to the topic at hand. People were responding to, agreeing, and disagreeing with them, and being able to read that first hand is going to make my paper seem more credible. I found the right books for the job.

This amazes me that I pulled that off. How did that happen? I suck at research. Is Research Methods actually teaching me something?

…nah, that would be crazy. At least the paper should turn out alright, though.

Every blog has to have one of these, right? Sure.

I played Flight Control for a few minutes, and typed some words.

First off, Flight Control was one of those games that I should have played before, but never had, and honestly, I can’t understand how it could work on a tiny device. It was pretty cool, though. I might have to pick it up for my iPod.

I could see myself learning to two-finger type pretty fast on the iPad, as well, The big keyboard worked well.

The device felt cool. It had a near-perfect weight for what it was. I kind of want one.

That’s it. I mean, I’ve listened to countless hours of podcasts about the iPad at this point, but that’s really all I have to say about it. I guess I was glad the Apple store was smart enough to set up enough demo units? Yeah.

So that’s exciting, I suppose.

I’ve been reading scholarly essays on The Dude all day today.
They constantly put him forth in many roles: slacker hero, seeker of the holy grail, noir detective, but in all of them, he is so completely, and unmistakably The Dude. These interpretations don’t change the character: they can’t. The Dude is the The Dude. He cannot be changed.

Meanwhile, I am walking in circles, reading a silly book, and generally being scared as fuck at all the stuff I have to get done in the next month.

I have a term paper to write, some conferences with High School Students, a bunch more research to get done, and a book review to write (of said book of Lebowski essays) and a marketing plan to dream up. Add onto this all of my transition-related pressing issues: I need to be scheduling hair removal treatments, something by busyness has put off for several weeks, as well as finding a lawyer to start the process of changing my name, talking more to my parents, friends, and family to get them prepared, finding a time where my parents can talk to my psychologist, and so much stuff. Then, of course, there’s the multitude of work-related duties I have to work in there too.

Short version: I am fucking busy.

And as I am fucking busy, reading this book, I am told, over and over, about The Dude’s “bravery,” and how he stands there, against the world, shucking everything that doesn’t appeal to him, including his name, and just being The Dude.

It’s inspiring.

I mean, you don’t necessarily get that from watching the movie. It’s just a fucking hilarious, entertaining film. But there really is something about The Dude that makes you like him, and I really do think these essays are hitting on that. Escape is always there in my head. I could escape, not give a shit, hide, and then I can relax. Hell, I used to do that. That’s why it took me so long to get my bachelor’s. I’d get stressed, so I’d hide, play my video games, and relax. Now, I can’t do that. I have things to do and goals to accomplish. I have to keep working. Everyone does. The Dude has things he needs to do, too. He needs to make rent. He needs to live life and be functional. But he says, “fuck that, man.” He does things his own way, and things fall apart, and he doesn’t care. “Strikes and gutters, ups and downs,” he just goes. He just is. He, shockingly enough, abides.

And it’s almost pornographic how appealing that is.

The last class period before Easter, I wrote on the board, on the schedule for Easter break, “Eat a Cadbury Egg. Write a response.”

Of course, I’m the kind of person who would do that, but my class found it a little less funny.

In any case, it’s egg-finding day, or magical rabbit with a basket like for the bread day. It’s a good day, not for religious significance, necessarily, but for all the good stuff it brings. Whether it’s finally having that Dr. Pepper after abstaining for a month, and savoring every drop, or it’s just having an excuse to get the grandparents down and eat a meal, good stuff happens on Easter.

Make some good stuff happen today. You don’t even need to have died a few days before this, promise. Enjoy a candy, enjoy your family being there, or just enjoy a day off.

Just enjoy. And then write a response.

This post has Bioshock and Bioshock 2 spoilers, so keep that in mind if you read on.

Brer asked me, as I started playing Bioshock 2, to keep an idea in mind: Is the game being nicer to Sophia Lamb, and her philosophy, than it was to Andrew Ryan? This is a loaded question, of course. He obviously thought it was. Me, I disagree. I feel like both characters received a comeuppance of having their own philosophies turned against them. The difference simply lies in which has the more “brutal” philosophy.

Andrew Ryan believes in a very “dog eat dog,” social Darwinism kind of philosophy. The weak should not hold down the strong. The best will rise to the top, and should be able to shine without being held back, especially not by the government. In his philosophy, people who are weak fail, fall, and die. He considers himself, of course, to be among the strong, those who succeed. Yet, when you approach him in Bioshock, it is obvious that he is not one of the strong. He has lost, for you are here to kill him. He attempts to salvage his dignity by basically committing suicide through you, by choosing death for himself, instead of having it happen to him. But the fact remains: he has fallen, he has failed, and he will die. He gets the “bad” end of his philosophy.

I feel a similar thing happens to Sophia Lamb. She believes in helping the weak, and that “we are all one big family.” She believes in the greater good. Everyone’s actions should serve the needs of the many, not the needs of the few. If that requires sacrifice, then so be it.
At the end of Bioshock 2, at least with the good ending, Eleanor saves Lamb’s life. She provides kindness and charity which gives her absolutely no benefit, honestly. Lamb tried to control every aspect of her life, and will surely continue to. Giving her kindness doesn’t really give Eleanor any benefit, perse.
However, it puts Lamb in an awkward situation. Brer claims that she would go on to work her philosophical magic on the surface world, but I don’t think that’s the case. Eleanor has dethroned her. She’s in control, and I do not believe she is going to let Lamb do anything like that any more. Lamb is being reduced to a lame duck, being kept alive out of kindness. She won’t be able to enact any good on the world, because Eleanor will keep her in check. In fact, she’s really going to end up being nothing but a burden to Eleanor who, if she is really as brilliant and bright as Lamb would believe, is going to do good things, even if they don’t exactly connect with her philosophy. Eleanor will enact some manner of good on the world, and she is holding her back from that. Her existence, from that point, is potentially harming the greater good. She should remove herself, the very thing she tells Delta to do throughout the whole game. She is on the “bad” end of her philosophy.

Ryan’s philosophy is more brutal, so I feel like his fall from grace is more brutal. I also feel like having two games talking about his philosophy can potential put him in a slightly worse light than Lamb, who only had one. Still, I don’t feel like there is a significant difference between their treatment. I’m sure I’m probably missing something, or ignoring something else, but that’s how I felt when I finished the game, and now I have shared it in a bloeg.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HAH HAHA HAH!

AH HA HA HA ! HA!

HA!

Humor.

Remember that Disney Channel Alice in Wonderland show where the White Rabbit was a guy in a bunny suit who was force to wear rollerblades so as to be hip? Oh, don’t worry, I found a link for you so you can experience it.

What does that have to do with KoL’s IoTM of the month, the Clan Looking Glass? Eh, not much, I guess, but I’ve been thinking about it since it came out.

Mostly, I think people were excited to see this IoTM because it meant the return of Clan VIP Keys, which were apparently insanely expensive. It wasn’t an issue for me, since I had one from the Pool Table, but, you know, I’m sure that was nice for people. Still, I don’t think one should overlook the Looking Glass, not that I expected them to, perse. But it’s a pretty awesome dump of content with some neat items in it.

I actually didn’t get a chance to get one of these myself, because Val and Cris had already installed one in the Ernest Borg Nine’s VIP Lounge before I even realized it existed. It makes me feel a little eh for mooching. I pitched in for the pool table. I suppose I shouldn’t worry, though, as it’s not like they seem upset. That’s just a problem with this furniture, I guess. There’s always some amount of having to figure out the social issues of picking it up.

Anyway, the Glass basically gives you one “DRINK ME” potion a day, which lets you access the Down the Rabbit Hole area. This has cool shit in it.
The Tweedleporium is a completely heart-based shop. There is a weekly rotation of neat stuffies, an expensive outfit that includes a watch, and puffs of smoke. The puffs of smoke lets you send silly picture messages to your friends. One puff equals one letter. It’s neat and silly, and I really like it. I also like that there’s a good NPC-store-purchasable rollover turn item in the game, even if it is much too expensive to use on any sort of serious run.
There’s a Mad Tea Party, that gives you a random buff based on the number of letters in the name of your currently equipped hat. That’s cool: there’s a lot of nice content in there, and I’m sure some of the buffs are very worth it. It’s hard for me to get excited about this, honestly? But I’m sure there’s at least one buff in there that’s going to become very hardcore-relevant. They’re all solid, and if actually take the time to plan your hat, you can get a nice boost once a day, I would think.
The final part is the Red Queen’s Garden, which is one of my favorite things: a quest that spans multiple ascensions to give you long term goals. I talked about how I liked this back with the Baby Sandworm, and this is no different. Basically, you fight some monsters with some okay drops, but you also work to collect maps to collect parts of a meal. You can get one piece per class, and once you have them all, you can trade them in for a cool reward: a piece of familiar equipment called the ittah bittah hooka. It makes your familiar give you completely random buffs in battle. That is totally cool. I can’t wait to get one and try it out. I like having long term goals.
There’s also a mini-game in the map that you can beat over and over again to get cookies that give you very strong buffs to your base stats. Less interesting to me, but still completely cool.

So, yeah, lots of good content in here. Your clan should pick one up. Three Mr. A’s is still a tough sell if you’re on your own, but I suppose you could always try buying Drink Me potions in the mall or something? It’s cool stuff. I feel like this is a win. Way better than the Pool Table, and a lot of fun.

Since I put the tag “Start Profiling” on the last post, I guess that means I’m writing a series about DEADLY PREMONITION. I guess that’s okay. I can write a little more. I still haven’t beat it or anything, but here are some more of my early thoughts. If I ever do finish it, you can bet that I’ll have a review that’s mostly just plot analysis or something.

I mentioned in the last post that this game bit off more than it can chew in terms of systems. This is completely true. DEADLY PREMONITION is attempting to have a huge, open world with hunger and sleep mechanics.

On one hand, it completely fails. Getting around the world is a pain in the ass. I hear one of the side missions gets you a radio that lets you fast travel, but the game won’t let me pick flowers while it’s raining, so I’m still without that particular item for the time being. The world is really huge, and driving controls incredibly badly. Sure, it gives you a decent feeling that you’re seeing all of this country town, but it also is just a huge annoyance driving around. The annoyance is enhanced by how useless the map is. You can’t zoom the map out. It only shows you your immediate area, so you have to scroll around if you want to see more. This makes it nearly impossible to plot a path to your destination if it’s more than two blocks away. You are constantly opening your map, scrolling around to find the next turn, and closing your map. It’s stupid.
The hunger and sleep mechanics don’t seem to do much either. Basically, you have to sleep and eat, and you can buy many foodstuffs and coffee and such in the world to refill those meters. However, it’s never really something that needs to be rationed. You always have plenty of money, and you find tons of food naturally in the world. It’s never anything even vaguely like a problem to make sure you don’t starve to death or fall asleep outside.
The sleep part, especially, isn’t a problem, because you are constantly trying to sleep to move the clock forward. Lots of events only happen at certain time periods, and often the game will put you in a situation where you have to wait half the day to continue the story. Because the in-game clock moves glacially slow, you have to either sleep or take many smoke breaks (which is another mechanic that moves the clock forward, for whatever reason) in order to get on with it.

Still, though, when you really get into the story, you really sort of understand what they were trying to do. You can see all major suspects and characters on the map at all times. You can see them going about their daily lives. They drive to work. They go home at night, after stopping by the grocery store. You actually have to follow their patterns to finish certain side missions, and it does give the entire game world a much more realistic feel. It’s sort of like Majora’s Mask in that way. The world is moving, whether or not you’re acting on it. You can actually go back to previous days to complete side missions, too, so it’s like Majora’s Mask in that way as well. You can go, “Okay, I guess he’ll be here during this chapter at 14:00” and plan a route accordingly. This kind of open world interaction is honestly rarely done. Games like Oblivion or Fallout 3 do it, but they never move key NPCs because you need to be able to find them. As such, it doesn’t feel like much is actually changing, because the only people you actually interact with are always where you expect them. This game moves everyone, even key characters you may need to talk with. They’re all living their lives. It’s cool. And the fact that your character can be hungry, so you decide to go out to dinner with some NPCs and mooch a free meal? Well, hey, that’s cool realism too.

Of course, this sense of realism is coming from a game where I’m shooting Zombie Ghosts that only York can see like… all the fucking time. But it’s neat, if flawed.

Then again, that’s exactly what DEADLY PREMONITION is. Neat, if flawed.