The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

On the night of Valentine’s, I got a call from Essner asking me if I wanted to go to this release night Marvel Vs Capcom 3 tournament thing. I said yes, because, I dunno, it’s the sort of thing I said yes to, and my copy didn’t show up early. We went, then, to the Wal-Mart to play in this thing.

Of course, it looked, for a long time, that we were the only two people who were going to play. A Wal-Mart employee, and myself. Eventually they got the system set up, though, and Essner and I just started dicking around with the game. It was a ton of fun! Soon, another employee who got off of work who was a comic fan jumped in, so we had a three person “tournament” on our hands.

I started out really strong. There was awhile there when I was playing as Chris and was kind of unstoppable with him. I was also getting some pretty good hits in with Felicia as well, which surprised me. As the night went on and we stopped dicking around and started the “tournament” proper, though, I had lost my advantage. I didn’t know the moves, and when I am clueless on moves, but almost know them, and face people who are doing more button mashing? I lose every time, because I focus on trying to execute moves I don’t know. Of course, it also hurt that Essner knows just enough to supplement his button mashing with well-timed specials, making him hard to read.

Essner ended up using a lot of Dante and Iron Man, which served him well. Although I didn’t play as either, Dante seems both really good and really fun! He’s got a nice variety of very flashy attacks, and a bunch of different types of projectiles so that you never know exactly what he’s going to throw at you. Iron Man is Iron Man. Since none of us figured out how to super-jump, Unibeam was pretty godly. I couldn’t, say, cancel it with Chris’s gunfire. I knew I needed to super jump over it, but I couldn’t pull it off.

Other guy (I think I might have heard his name, but I don’t remember it) was a big Captain America fan, and actually got to be pretty damn solid with Cap by the end of the night. His play with the other characters (Deadpool and Spidey, mostly) couldn’t really cut it, though, especially not in the face of Essner’s well-timed beams and button mashes.

Anyway, it was decided that we’d all have two “lives” and the last one with a life left would win a free copy of the game. Once we started this tournament part, Essner didn’t lose once. I had a very close loss against him, if I recall, but basically he just steamrolled us all, and scored himself a free copy of the game. A game he wasn’t planning on buying, since all the play of it he’s going to do is probably going to happen at my house, and I already have the limited edition coming in the mail, but hey. That’s pretty cool, and it had a special cover art, so that’s nice.

After the tournament, the manager, who is not a gamer but recognized Ryu and Chun-Li and probably played Street Fighter back in the day, picked up the controller to play one match, and completely creamed Mr. Other Guy, laughing his ass off. Basically, the manager kept summoning in support characters, which we hadn’t really been doing the whole time we were playing, and the Other Guy had no idea what was happening and wasn’t blocking.

Anyway, it was a very interesting experience, and I got to dick around and see how badly they nerfed Tron early. (Seriously, the new command for her dash is going to take a LOT of getting used to, as it’s the key to Tron being any good and it’s much harder to pull off.) I also got this poster I hung up in my office. All in all, a fun time, and soon I’ll get to start working with MvC3 for reals, so that’ll be fantastic as well!

It’s the day of St. Valin the Tined, so named because he had spikes all over him. Maybe.

Basically, Valentine’s isn’t a big deal for me this year. I mean, I would never put it up there as a “top” thing, but this year, especially not. Not only am I going to be busy the whole damn day, but the biggest thing I did to celebrate was to have a game bought for me, and buy a game in retaliation. That’ll show him to buy me a thoughtful gift!

But seriously, I may have a ton of shit on my plate. I may be stressed and worried as fuck, certainly. There is a lot of shit going on in my life!

But I still have love.

Brer, fuck, I love you so much. Shit sucks, but we are working it out. I know you’re working hard. I’m working hard. We’ll get in the same physical location, dammit.

Cris, goodness, I do love you, you know. Our relationship is something I know you tell me I worry about too much, which is completely fair. But it’s still awesome, right? Yeah. Still pretty awesome.

Kale, I love you. You’re very silly, but so very nice. I can’t talk to you without feeling the emotion there, you know? Don’t go anywhere.

Ecks, though we don’t get to see each other nearly enough, I love you, you know? You’re so wonderful. Our schedules will sync up again soon, I hope.

And man, those are only the people I have at least partially romantic feelings for. Awesome family. Awesome friends. So much love.

Enjoy your day of love, hm?

I have been playing Dragon Age: Origins: Awakening. In this game, you recruit a party member called Justice. He was a warrior. I had been running a two Warrior, one Mage, and me Rogue setup in the original game, so I was needing another warrior to duplicate that. I was glad to pick him up.

As I do because, I dunno, I feel like having a streamlined experience and I am playing on easy anyway, I used the Auto-Level to level him up. He learned some kind of buff, and the computer automatically set up tactics for him to keep this buff up on himself. So far, so good.

Justice casts this buff. When active, this buff causes a tiny explosion/whoosh of air thing to ripple out around him about every three seconds. This makes a fairly loud and annoying noise. He always has this buff up. The only way I could not have him have this buff up is to control him manually or rejigger his tactics so he does not cast it, but if I did that, then he wouldn’t be buffed, and I don’t want that.

I walked around with this noise for like 3 minutes, and I had to remove him from my party. The noise was driving me crazy.

Great fucking job, Bioware! You succeeded in making a character nobody could ever actually use. All because you attached this ridiculous noise to that buff. Fantastic. I don’t understand how playtesters wouldn’t have realized how annoying that noise was. Was the game not tested with Justice in your party?

I don’t know. Mind-blowing stuff, and now I’m down a warrior. Oh well.

People at work keep pestering me as to why I, as a gamer, do not own a copy of CODBLOPS. It was suggested the other day that I “invest” in a copy. I feel like this is a valid suggestion, of course. I’m sure CODBLOPS is a great game, and I do look forward to playing it at some point.

But man, the couple of hours I just invested into You Don’t Know Jack multiplayer were probably more fun than 3 times the amount of time spent in the CODBLOPS multiplayer, and maybe more.

Enjoy what you enjoy, you know? I’m not saying they’re doing it wrong, and I know they’re not saying I’m doing it wrong either. They just want to include me in their gaming sessions, which I appreciate. But it’s just one of those things, you know? It just reminds me of how out of the mainstream I am. There’s no way I could describe how excited I am about this trivia video game, and how it will get my full attention. They just don’t share that particular joy, and I think they would be a little unable to understand why I enjoyed it so much. This is the case for so many things. We often clash in opinions on what movies, shows, and whatnot are awesome as well. They’re all great people I love working with, but their tastes are so, so far away from mine. So far!

It just really shows me how ridiculously broad a concept like “gamer” is. There are key “gamer” experiences that my friends at work will never know. There’s no way they’d ever play a Persona 3, for instance, and I consider that one of the major gaming experiences of last generation. Most “gamers” I actually discuss things with on a regular basis would understand what Persona 3 is and how it mixed things up in a significant way, even if they didn’t play it much or even enjoy it. The people at work, though, who probably play games somewhere close to as often as I do, have no clue. They probably know nothing about it.

I don’t know, it just fascinates me, because, again, neither of us are wrong. We’re both doing it right. Yet, there’s this big game between us, when we have what ought to be similar interests. It just shows me how different people’s worlds really can be, even on this small level. That’s kind of cool, don’t you think?

I got to pick a book to review for the press, as sometimes happens, and so I ended up reading this book called The Right To Be Out, because it has a pretty nice cover and it caught my eye. The book itself is a pretty nice thing. It’s discussing how educators should deal with students and other educators who are gay or transsexual in order to make a positive learning and working environment for everyone. It does this by using legal precedent and case studies to prove that everyone has a “right to be out” and then showing how schools can adapt things in order to make sure that everyone in the school feels that way. At times, it’s a little overly optimistic and very strong in it’s beliefs with its “let’s make sure every single discussion in the classroom includes discussion of LGBT issues!” mentality, but overall I found it a pretty interesting read.

Then I got to the chapter about transsexuals, and I just had to put the book down for awhile. I was getting so angry.

It’s not Mr. Biegel’s message or writing that made me mad. (Although I do feel weird about his use of the term “gender-nonconforming youths” which I feel really sends a message of “these people aren’t normal” instead of what the book is really trying to say.) It was the case studies he was talking about. He just had direct quotes from people who were just being so hurtful that I just started raging. I couldn’t stand the thought of people like that in the world. I wanted to punch someone.

All the rest of the horrible stuff talked about in the book was indeed at least fairly horrible, or at the very least upsetting. However, there was a distance there. Sure, I’m bisexual, but never have I ever felt like that was an issue, or people would look down on me for it. That was never what I worried about, and though I feel bad for these poor kids they were talking about, it’s not something I’ve directly experienced. I think that shit shouldn’t happen. If I saw it happening, I’d do everything in my power to stop it. But it doesn’t punch me in the gut.

But I got to this story of his public official who was trying to transition, and literally the entire town was getting onto him for “lying” about who he was and putting his family through this. There was a long block quote from this completely hateful woman, who would not shut up, and I could tell, even just on text in the page, she felt like she was doing absolutely nothing wrong. She felt like she was totally in the right to go on record and help ruin this woman’s life and make her lose her job.

I had to sit the book down and I pulled out my phone and chatted with Brer a bit to let out steam, even though I should have been working.

I am pro-religion. I’ve been lucky, and I’ve been exposed to the good side of religion. I know people who believe, very truly, and who are awesome people, and let their religion help them do awesome things. Religion can be such a force for good in people’s personal lives, and in the world. I would never dream of telling anyone not to follow their religious code and worshiping as they see fit. It’s too important, and it’s so wonderful. It really is.
But fuck, when someone uses it as an excuse to force people to be miserable and make them not able to follow their own heart? Well, fuck that guy. Because you better fucking believe that if you were to criticize that guy’s life on similar grounds, he would be so pissed. “You have no right!” would be his cry. And yet he’d do it every fucking day, and try to manipulate the government to ruin the lives of people who are just trying to live their life because they’re different.

I am asking this question completely honestly: what does anyone get by trying to shut down ways of life other than their own? If two men or two ladies are having sex, what in the world does them stopping or continuing do to a party not involved in said fucking? It does absolutely nothing. My rule has always been, “if you aren’t ruining the fun of others, have fun.” If you are letting others having private lives that you don’t want to have ruin your fun, you are doing it wrong.

Bleh. It just blows my mind sometimes how awful people can be. In my general experience, people are not awful. People are wonderful, and good, and a joy to be around. There is so much good in the world, and let me be honest, the book itself has a lot of good too, as it talks about all the wins for LGBT rights over the years and all the multitudes of organizations and such to help people who are distressed about this stuff. There is plenty of good. But so much wouldn’t be needed if people weren’t assholes.

People of the World: Stop Being Stupid Assholes. Go Enjoy Life, And Let Others Do The Same.

I don’t know why I’m saying that here, because let’s face it, if you’re reading this, you know me, and I don’t know any people like this. I only know awesome individuals. But goodness. The world, huh? This is why I don’t follow current events closely. So much rage. Nothing useful to do with it. Except blog, I suppose.

I’m currently enjoying the shit out of Bayonetta, a game I am a year late getting to. I’m sure I’ll ramble more about how fantastic that game is later, but the more important part is… well… I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything.

I’ve passed that hurdle.

I’m sure I’ve talked about it before here. I really want to be involved in the gaming discussion. It’s something I like to be able to do. That pushed me to buying a lot of games in the past. I had to get this or that game in order to talk about it right when it was happening. I needed it to be relevant.
Because of that, going back and playing older games, like Bayonetta, was always an issue. There was something new I had to focus on, and even if I played it and enjoyed it, there was always an air over it of feeling silly for waiting so long, or feeling pressured to move on to something new.

I’m not feeling that with Bayonetta. I’m just enjoying the shit out of it. And similarly, I’ve become really interested in Dead Space 2, but I find my general reaction to be “that’s going to be great when Gamefly sends it to me in a month or two.” It’s okay. That’s fantastic.
I don’t know. I’m not completely out of the video game conversation. The games I really, really will want to talk about, I am going to still buy. Like, say, Marvel Vs Capcom 3. No way I’m not buying that, and that is a game I would feel left out of talking about. Most of these games, though, I totally wouldn’t. They’re fun, but they’re not those key games that I obsess over, and thus I don’t need to have them day one. Plus, when I do want to sample, I can sample, and send the games back the moment I am tired of them. It works so much better that way than paying for this stuff.

And now it feels better, too. Fantastic. I’m proud of myself. Well, a little bit, anyway.

We all win at trivia!

Okay, well, we got third. But when first place is the Matt Essner’s Family Power Team, who used to run the trivia night, and second place is the Unstoppable Team of Notre Dame Teachers, well, third place is fucking fantastic.

I didn’t expect to kick such ass. I wasn’t, I dunno, picking strategically or anything. Jonathan, Cara, and Buchhiet were people I knew wanted in. Cara suggested I grab Cole, who brought some sports knowledge and history degree stuff. Jonathan brought in Kenny, who was just a wellspring of random trivia. Essner suggested I grab Mason, and I totally did, who helped us knock the crap out of the movie rounds. Cara had several good obscure saves, and Buchhiet was a powerhouse, working with Kenny on the Sports Maths to make that work, and pulling in all kinds of knowledge like coin collector knowledge I certainly didn’t know he had.

If anything, I was probably the weakest link, and I still caught a couple of them. (And destroyed the category about grammar, because come fucking on. Grammar category.)

We cracked jokes, we had fun, and we dominated most of the teams there. I managed not to get into any awkward conversations with former teachers and such. It was an awesome night, and I am so glad I decided to get everyone together to go and do it. I hope everyone else was glad too.

I’ve had a line in my head all day. It’s a good line. I’m not sure what I’d use it for, and I keep trying different variations. Basically, it’s, “When I’m cold like this, I can’t tell if that’s why I’m shivering.”

I’m shaky.

Have I not been sleeping enough? I’ve been trying to sleep in and rest. I’ve been trying to give myself time to relax while also doing a lot of work. I’ve been trying to get a lot done.

That’s just it, though. I’m always trying, aren’t I?

At some point I will get this shit figured out. I will be solid in what I need to do. I will make it work. Sometime.

Until then I’ll just have songs stuck in my head and be overly emotional with kittens and hide and stuff. I’ll keep that going. I’m good at that. I’ll watch cat videos and not watch the television shows I should and I’ll curl up under covers and that’ll be that.

Also the covers might be warm, so I’ll know why I’m shivering.

I fucking swear, there’s a mind-blowing line in a poem in that somewhere. I’ll figure it out.

I swear, for someone who feels lost so often, I certainly do tend to get a lot done.

I mean, I feel like I’m getting nothing done, but already, this week, I managed to come up with a passable plan that I like for after graduation and talk to people at school and at work to warn them about my impending transition, making it that much more real. I also read some short stories and commented on some poems. I wrote a sestina. I read like thousands of mafia posts. I played through a lot of Little Big Planet PSP. I spent some quality time with the boyfriend. I started setting up a trivia night team. I wrote some blog posts.

I’ve done stuff.

I made this database of everything I’ve written that’s at least quasi-respectable. I ended up with a number of entries in the triple digits. Dr. Watson was like, “Doesn’t it feel nice to see how much you’ve accomplished?”
It does. It really does.

I always feel like I’m so behind. I’m not moving ahead. Nothing is happening. But fuck, when I actually try to list what I’ve done? It’s a lot. I do things. I do them well. Are they always the right things? Debatable. But I’m not always just nothing. I am accomplishing something.

And you know what? That will continue. I will be fine. I will keep accomplishing things.
I can do this.

so i joined the homestuck mafia game.o. on the talking time forums.o. which was a total mindfuck.o. and caused me to come up with this.o. stupid voice.o. for roleplaying.o.

But I can’t talk about that until it’s over. But shit, I will say that game can just DEVOUR you. Devour.

Man, I want to, but you understand, don’t you blog? I can’t. It’s not you. I just made these promises, is all.

But seriously, it’s been on my mind all day. I was checking in on my phone. I even sat down to do my homework, part of which required me to write a sestina, and I ended up writing a sestina about searching out and killing trolls. Seriously.

I am so far down this rabbit hole, and I am totally not going back. There is no way I am not jumping into the next one of these games. It was a pain in the ass catching up to be prepared, but hot damn.

Everyone plays with such passion. There is so much fucking energy and excitement in every single bullshit post in the game thread. I love it. I mean, I love how my friends and I roleplay, but it’s never so serious. Basically everyone has their fucking GAME FACE ON. And what’s better is that the forum keeps going as per usual outside of it. This is, what, the ninth game of Mafia, and I haven’t seen Mafia cause any fights that I’ve noticed. Everything I love about Talking Time still goes, while everyone battles it out.

It’s fantastic, and I love being a part of it, and I’ll tell you all about it when I can, blog. But fuck yes. Mafia. I am so there.