The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Cara was all like, “Man, I really want to game! Video game! Games!” and I was trying to think of things she’d like. It was then I realized that she has one of the greatest current gaming consoles: an iPad. So I decided I’d make a list of games she should get in order to get going in gaming. This is that list.
Goals of the list include getting cool games, not spending more than $20 bucks, and also getting a general game education, which is something she seems interested in. Let’s do this! In no particular order:

AppShopper
Cost: Free
Pros: Not a game, but anyone who is serious about iOS gaming needs this. There are so many sales and one day free giveaways on the App Store that it’s really worth your time to tag all interesting, but expensive games in AppShopper and wait for it to tell you that they’re on sale for a buck.
Cons: I find the fact that it dings you on app updates a bit annoying, even after I set it to do otherwise, but it’s a minor inconvenience in a great app and website.

Capcom Arcade
Cost: Free
Pros: A selection of old school Capcom awesome. One of them is Puzzle Fighter, so that’s fantastic. They keep adding more stuff, too.
Cons: Can only play a few times a day without paying to “buy” a game, though I feel that’s pretty fair. Interface to select games is kind of ass.

Word Ace
Cost: Free
Pros: A really brilliant online multiplayer word game. I’ve had a ton of fun with it.
Cons: If you lose a lot, you’ll run out of chips and can’t keep going. Game tries to default you into high-stakes games so you will want to buy chips, which is unfortunate. Constantly has a notification icon I can’t get rid of, which bothers me.

Peggle
Cost: $2.99
Pros: It’s fucking Peggle. Simple, fun, addictive, best use of ode to joy. Can purchase Peggle Nights expansion from the app, if you’d like.
Cons: I guess it’s expensive for the app store? But I mean, it’s Peggle.

Frotz
Cost: Free
Pros: A fine way to play Interactive Fiction on the iPad. Hooks into the IF archive, so you can download tons of games.
Cons: Typing on the iPad is not super great. Interactive Fiction, for all its charms, is super obtuse, even in modern forms of the genre, so it’s not very newbie-friendly.

You Don’t Know Jack HD Lite
Cost: Free
Pros: You Don’t Know Jack is awesome. I’m cheating and putting the free version on the list, but they even update the demo with new episodes every once and awhile. A treat.
Cons: No multiplayer still sucks. Jack is better with friends!

Words with Friends Free
Cost: Free
Pros: It’s scrabble, with the best online multiplayer on the platform, save for Carcassonne, which uses the same sort of multiplayer.
Cons: The ads really bother me, but, you know, you can always throw money at that problem if you want, like I did!

Spider: Bryce Manor HD
Cost: $4.99
Pros: One of the best controlling games on the platform, it’s a ton of fun. You get to explore, you get to master leaping about, and there are challenge modes if you want. What more can you ask for?
Cons: Expensive? I guess? Could always wait for a sale.

Robot Wants Kitty
Cost: $.99
Pros: An introductory Metroidvania game. Not too difficult to build those sorts of skills, but a lot of fun.
Cons: One song over and over forever ahhhhhhh!

TapDefense
Cost: Free
Pros: Not the best Tower Defense game, but a good introduction to the genre and extremely playable for the cost of free.
Cons: Not a lot of challenge variety, but hey, free game, so…

Mouse House
Cost: $1.99
Pros: A great clone of Lolo that I had a lot of fun with back in the day. Puzzle rooms ahoy! No real twitch skills required.
Cons: Controls are a little iffy at times. Doesn’t ruin the game, but could be better.

Cut the Rope
Cost: $.99
Pros: Cute as fuck. Constantly changing up the various toys you’re playing with, but in a way that makes sure you always know what’s going on. Uses the touchscreen fantastically.
Cons: Uh, no idea, really.

Cut the Rope: Holiday Gift
Cost: Free
Pros: A unique set of Cut the Rope levels, for free. Use it as a demo, or enjoy the fresh levels if you already have the rest.
Cons: Even less cons than Cut the Rope.

Super QuickHook
Cost: $2.99
Pros: Amazing arcade action. Charming and funny as hell, with lots of subtle improvements over Hook Champ (which is why I pick it over Hook Champ, though they’re both fantastic) and a nice progression to work through. Super-tight controls. A joy to play.
Cons: For-pay costume DLC? Doesn’t bother me. Maybe it bothers you? I’m looking hard for a con here. It’s a game I love so much, it’s hard to find one.

100 Rogues
Cost: $.99
Pros: An excellent introduction to the Roguelike. The easy mode is perfect for beginners. The normal mode is a solid challenge for roguelike fans. The interface is fairly great on the iPad, too.
Cons: For-pay character classes, though you get two fine ones to start with, so not a big deal. Occasional control problems, even with how good they are. Roguelikes are hard.

You Don’t Know Jack
Cost: $2.99
Pro: Fuck it, I have money left, and this is quality trivia action.
Con: I guess you’re not getting the HD version because that’s more expensive? But who cares, it’s text on a screen and voices.

That’s all I’ve got. I want to, say, put Final Fantasy on there, just for the history lesson and introduction to RPGs, but $8.99? Give me a fucking break, SquareEnix. I also know Cara likes car games, so I’d love to put a driving game on there, but I’ve never played any on the platform, and I don’t want to suggest something that may suck. Also, Cara, I know you downloaded Puzzle Quest when it was free. Play more of that. That’s good shit.

There is a lot of things in Dragon Age II that are awesome. There are also many things that suck. But during my recent play session (involving the end of Act 2, so there are spoilers, I suppose) I was overwhelmed with stupidity.

The end of Act 2 involves a long run through town towards the keep, where the Arishok has held up with his army. There are many battles along the way there, and you meet up with many important people as you go along. You have to talk to the Knight-Commander, and the Enchanter, and all these people, making decisions, and so on and so forth. A lot of tense moments, and cool decision-making. Finally, when you get to the Arishok, you have what is probably the first battle in the game that is actually challenging. It’s the only battle I’ve died on on casual difficulty. It’s really hard! My party was wiped almost immediately.

Every previous boss battle, going into the last cutscene before the battle triggered an autosave, so if I lost the battle, I could try it again. When I went into this battle, designed to be very difficult, there was no such autosave. I died, and the game picked back up with me entering High Town. This was about 15 minutes of cutscenes and dialog ago that I had to play back through.

What the fuck.

I just can’t believe that the designers didn’t think that battle was hard. As I said, it was the first tough battle on Casual difficulty. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be on actual difficulty settings. Why would they not autosave there? This is 40th Day level bullshit, and I thought Bioware was above that.

Again, there is plenty of good stuff in the game. Earlier in my play session, the game really impressed me in it’s attention to detail! But still, this was a really, really stupid oversight that made me waste a bunch of time getting back to the fight, which I almost lost again. Stupid.

The Point of Sale. The mystical retail location where people purchase things for money.

I was in command of this point.

While certainly not the most fun job in the world (and really, what is, in the world of retail) I really don’t understand what the big deal is. People HATE working Point of Sale. Like, they feel like they’d rather do anything but Point of Sale. I just don’t get it.

Basically, work is a shitty place to be when there is nothing to do, as far as I’m concerned. That’s when time goes super-slowly, and the day drags on and on in a frustrating manner. While there is a bigger risk of such things happening at Point of Sale, because when nothing is going on, you’re not allowed to move about the store and find something interesting to do, for the most part, it’s not an issue. There are small breaks, yes, but especially when you are by yourself on one side of the store, there is a constant string of people checking out. You’re always busy doing something.

I suppose what I could see people disliking is how you really do have to keep your mind on other things to survive. I can do this, it’s not hard, but it’s not like working the floor where your mind is constantly having to scan locations to figure out where this short goes, or that box. You get occupied, because you likely have a series of quests to engage in, if you’re actually working. At Point of Sale, there is a very specific script you are running through, a lot of it being hard-sell tactics for the credit card, and you can literally do that shit in your sleep if you’re not all gung-ho about making your credit goals. Which, I mean, I dunno who would be. I push it when I can, but I just feel like the sort of stuff I’m supposed to do would keep people from wanting to shop at the store. It sure as fuck would keep me away. So I don’t if people don’t seem like they’d listen. Maybe that keeps me from feeling sleazy doing the job. Maybe that’s another reason why people stay away.

I don’t know. All I know is, I need hours, and I don’t mind this shit in the least. Going to do it some more today, in fact. A job is a job, and I am glad to do the job, you know? Hopefully I’ll be involved in a job permanently that leaves me feeling fulfilled instead of tired when I go home at night, but for now, I’m happy to be behind that register, keeping myself from going broke.

I’ve been watching Nichijou because I don’t like doing useful things like catching up on Doctor Who or getting work done. It’s got the sort of comedy I enjoy, certainly. It’s very surreal a lot of the time. I mean, you saw when I linked the video of the principal suplexing the deer, right? (I hope so, as I have found that they have gotten that video pulled from Youtube!) That’s pretty normal for the show.

I really don’t understand the general composition of the show, though.

Like, okay, I understand that the series is based off of a series of 4-panel strips: basically funny papers stuff. I mean, Azumanga was as well, so that’s not weird. However, the scope of this show is just all over the place. There are two “main” sets of characters, and then side characters of those two main sets that sometimes get screen time, and then a bunch of completely random little skits only tangentially related to those. For example, every so often the show will show some of “Helvetica Standard,” which is a comic that the girl in the Igo Soccer Club reads, which is a barely related set of skits to the main set of three girls in high school. It’s this incredible drilling-down into these side-side-side characters that really gets me. It’s clear that neither of the two main sets of protagonists are fully mined for humor yet (Hell, I feel like Nano, the Professor, and Sakamoto-san could easily carry an entire show all by themselves) and, frankly, going after my specific example, I feel like the Igo Soccer Club really has more room for funny jokes as well. I just don’t get the narrative need to go one deeper.

All the other random shit, like the jump-rope and rock-paper-scissors, well, they’re perfectly fine.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I tend to expect even my humor shows to hinge on their characters, and Nichijou really does not. It does literally whatever stupid thing the writers thought of at the time, and if they thought of something with their stock group of characters, fantastic, and if not, they slot them into the joke if they can or otherwise leave them behind. I guess on one hand, that’s kind of bold, as not having recognizable elements that make up your show makes it less marketable.

Eh.

Either way, I’ve enjoyed the first, what, 9 episodes enough to watch the entire season at this point. It’s just certainly not how I would have put a show together. Then again, they aren’t asking me to script any anime comedy shows, so maybe there’s a reason for that.

Going to try to write a blog post here in pages while I wait for my appointment. This, in some circles, is called “multitasking” or “making efficient use of your time.” We’ll see, I suppose.

During a family get together type situation, I was exposed to a show called Extreme Couponing. This show seriously follows people who do nothing but clip coupons and stockpile grocery items. Each episode follows two of these people as they go on a normal shopping trip for them. It is just flat-out crazy.

One of the bumpers for this show had a woman claiming that “my stockpile is almost as beautiful as my family” without a hint of irony in her voice. Another woman claimed that her gift for finding and using coupons was sent from God. She believed this was her one god-given talent. Another woman, who shopped at my local grocery store that I go to daily, bought 92 packages of croutons just because she had enough coupons to make them all free. I couldn’t look away from this sort of thing.

It’s also just amazing how the producers and editors of this show manage to insert drama into is ridiculous premise. They are putting dramatic music stings under things like a cashier forgetting to scan one coupon, or the store’s coupon policy only allowing the use of 250 coupons per transition. Oh no! It’s the stupidest shit, but sadly, it totally works, and pulling a 600 dollar grocery bill down to like 8 dollars is pretty insane to watch. You just stare with disbelief that these people would spend upwards of 30 hours a week couponing (which the iPad autocorrected to “coupling” at first, something I could better understand) and in even more disbelief that it works, and stores let this shit happen.

I guess this sort of stuff is how reality shows gain and keep an audience. I’m not about to spontaneously become a tv viewer or avid watcher of this show, but I salute TLC for making a show about a ridiculous premise that was fun for me to watch for a few hours.

I rarely remember my dreams, but often, when I wake up slightly, my brain takes some part of a story from a dream and keeps telling it, onward and onward, and I have a hint of what I was dreaming about from that.

Apparently last night I was having a pretty interesting dream, because I woke up remembering a pretty badass premise for an adventure game, which I will share with you now.

I was in a hospital of some sort. It seemed to be a hospital for treating people with various “special” abilities. I didn’t have any of these abilities except one: anything I saw written on an official form became real. The hospital got hit with some sort of supernatural attack, and I was trying to escape because I was trapped in the hospital. However, I kept stealing forms. I’d fill my name in as a doctor on a form, and suddenly everyone would think I was one of the doctors. I’d fill in a form that diagnosed me with other supernatural powers (the one in the dream was seeing the future) and then I had them.

As I woke up, I started to flesh out this concept outside of dream logic. I’d have seen several forms that, basically, I needed to reverse or destroy because someone was using me. I would have seen a form that caused the hospital to be under attack by things like ghosts. I would have seen a death certificate of close friends and family that I would need to reverse. Finally, I’d have to, of course, figure out how to reverse the forms that got me committed to this place in the first place.

I think I vaguely mentioned this yesterday, but low power, high restriction magic is really cool. There’s something awesome about having to take a seemingly narrow-focused ability and use it to solve a variety of problems. I think this whole “form” mechanic really fits that, and my subconscious dream-brain really picked a perfect setting for having a lot of forms lying about to try to play around with. Of course, to be really cool, the game would have to have a lot of forms that did a lot of things that weren’t really important to solving any puzzles or progressing, which would be a potential problem. There could be a ton of different gamestates at any time, and narrowing it too much so there’s not as many gamestate possibilities kind of hurts the fun of the entire thing.

Thankfully, I don’t really have to make this game. But I thought it a neat idea my dream-brain had, so I thought I’d share.

It was a Sunday in which I got little done. I mean, I had fun at a draft with everyone, even though there was a lot of confusion about the timing of it, but after that, it all went downhill. I had to work, but it was a short shift, so I didn’t get paid much. By the time I got home, my earlier fun basically felt really far away and just kind of felt like shit. I tried some gaming, but nothing appealed. I hadn’t seen Brer all day, because he’s been so sick he couldn’t even get out of bed. It’s good he was resting, but I was missing him. Conversations were going on in IRC, which I was trying to follow, but felt left out of for no actually sane reason. I knew then and now I was separated from the conversation simply because I was not joining in. It was getting later and later, and I felt like crap, emotionally more than anything.. I tweeted about it, got some nice support, but I was still alone and fucked up mood-wise.

Then out of nowhere, Ecks came online.

It was seriously like magic. Heh, apparently he had followed my twitter and I didn’t realize it was him. But seriously, just out of nowhere, he swept in, showed up, and distributed hugs liberally. I don’t get to talk to him near often enough, so I was glad to see him, and glad just to have someone there. We talked for awhile. It… it meant a lot.

I say this all the time, but fuck, I mean, what am I supposed to do, lie? I have some of the greatest people ever in my life.

Sure, by the time Ecks had calmed me down, it was like 3 AM, and then Molly decided I needed to get up at 8:30, so I’m kind of exhausted right now, but… well, it turned out pretty good. Pretty good indeed.

While working a floor shift at the Kohl’s, I stumbled upon a MYSTERY.

I was fixing all the bedding sets thrown around, when I saw a Big One bedding set with a playing card stuck to it. Upon closer inspection, it was actually inside the packaging. I opened the package and pulled out the Seven of Clubs. Looking on the back, I found a number scrawled in marker. Here is some evidence.

My initial reaction was that I had accidentally fallen into an adventure game. I talked to Kevin about the card, and he suggested I keep it on the down low, and that I’d probably have to solve the puzzle in order to leave after my shift. Twitter even chimed in with some good advice, but I couldn’t make anything useful.

I searched high and low for more cards all night, but I found nothing, unfortunately. They let me leave without having to solve the puzzle, so I survived in that respect.

Still, I wondered how that card got there. It would have taken effort to open the bedding set and stick that in there as it was. Who would have done it? Why? I then started wondering if I was the only person who would have put such significance on this silly card. Certainly someone else would have found it, shrugged, and thrown it away, but I was sure there was some reason for it. There had to be, right? I mean, 7 of Clubs? 19? Or maybe 61? Why would those just be there?

I tried to envision what would happen if I scattered such cards around local stores. Probably nothing. I doubt it would fill anyone else with a sense of wonder that would distract them for an entire shift. Then again, maybe it would. Maybe it would entertain many retail workers who would try to figure out the mystery. Maybe it would brighten their day a little. Or maybe the puzzle piece I hid would just be trash.

I guess, in the end, it doesn’t matter. I still have the card, and like so many random puzzle pieces I have found in the world, it’s placed in safety in my room, waiting for when I’ll need it to solve the puzzle. I pick up so many things like this, and I doubt I will stop. I’ll always be on the lookout for little objects that connect the world together in interesting ways. Always.

Some jackass writing something on the Fox News website really pissed me off today. A few people on twitter were talking about an article, so I click on it, as I often do on twitter, and I start skimming this thing. It’s about Chaz Bono. It’s really hateful, designed to insult and inflict pain. It is by a “doctor.” I guess I shall link it for posterity, though I don’t suggest actually reading it. I just pulled up the article to make sure the link was right and I immediately got frustrated again.

There’s nothing I can do about it, though. He’s a stupid, hate-filled fuck, but he has every right to write about this shit on the internet as I have to write this blog. Frankly, me being pissed at him is exactly what that guy wants. I am supposed to yell, and scream, and he will bathe in my anger and become stronger. That’s the entire point of the article, and the only reason it was written. There will always be idiots who write shit like this, and there will always be idiots who believe it. Trying to deal with those people is a losing battle, and not one I really want to get involved in. It’s not worth it. However, there is another danger to stuff like this, which is maybe more subtle.

Press like this makes it seem like this is the way the world actually is.

When I get mad at the article, I’m not really mad at this “doctor.” I mean, I am. Fuck that guy. But if it was just one guy being a dick, it wouldn’t bother me. What gets me is that I look at this article, and I see how many editors must have looked at this before it got put on a big professional website, and how many people are going to link to this article as a source for something else. I think of how many people will read that article and not be filled with rage or write it off as completely stupid. I think of all this, and I get angry at the world. I get angry at a world where there is so much hate for absolutely no reason. A world where we can’t move past stupid, inconsequential shit like this that keeps us apart and keeps us all from being happy.

I know the world is not like this. Every day I interact with fantastic people who would never be consumed with such hate for no reason. I’m in class with these people. I work with these people. I game with these people. I’ve never actually seen that kind of hate in real life. Maybe I’m just crazy lucky. In fact, I’m sure I am. But still, the majority of people are about love, not hate. They’re nice. They care. They don’t hurt people for stupid reasons like this. They’d rather not hurt people at all.

But every time I see an article like this, that knowledge that while there is certainly shit out there in the world, the majority of it is made of good… that knowledge is shaken a little bit every time something like this comes up. It always comes back. I haven’t lost faith in the world yet, and I really don’t think I ever will, as long as the people in my life keep being the awesome people in my life. But the fact that, even for a moment, it can be shaken is scary. I’m sure others aren’t as firm in this. Others could fall apart reading shit like this. It’s an attack on the idea of being happy in this world, and that is such bullshit.

There’s always a new thing to be mad at. I can’t spend my life being mad. That’s why I don’t seek this stuff out. A life of anger isn’t fun. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be a horrible douchebag like the author of that article. I believe in love, and I want to live with love, and make love to love, and all kinds of shit like that. I refuse to let any number of terrible articles or news reports stand in the way of that.