The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I’m bored and lost, and I should do something constructive. So I’ll knock another one of these out! Huzzah! Apparently I have Copy #1 of this signed and numbered series, so that’s exciting. also, Sarcasmorator put the track list online so I can just copy and paste, saving me valuable time.

Sarcasmorator’s Talking Time MEGAMIX

One: “I Only Want You” – Eagles of Death Metal: One Two, One Two Three Foarr. Okay, here’s some guitar… and some… weird vocals? Well, not weird, just… oddly falsetto…? Yeah, I don’t know about that singing, but the guitar is kinda catchy, isn’t it? Also, the refrain is also catchy. I only WANT YUUU! I only WANT YUUU! Heh, I dunno. Yeah, this is alright. I don’t see myself listening to it again, but this is alright. Woah, complete silence… and back! And again! Woah!

Two: “Trunk Fulla Amps” – Self: Okay, we got some guitar being all guitary… and what’s that kind of noise called… I don’t know… and some beeps… OH NOS, F-BOMBS! My poor virgin ears. But yeah, there isn’t much going on with the vocals just repeating the same thing over and over, and the music is only slightly changing, although again, it’s kinda catchy. But yeah, you’ve got basically most of what they say in the title there. Now we have this bridge here… and it’s… I wanna say tropical-sounding? Which is interesting. I don’t know why I think that, perse…there’s like some… sleighbell in there, too. Thrilling. Oh, it’s coming back… I wonder if he still has a trunk fulla amps… oh, no, still some… oh, okay, now he’s starting again. And I’m happy to report he still has a trunk full of amps. Also, FUCKA! Fucka! fucka! Alright!

Threep: “Plug In Baby” – Muse: Yes, there seems to be a typo, but I like the sound of “Threep.” So I’m not changing it. All kinda noisy here at the beginning… and now we have a guitar solo… kind of electric-y sounds, but not blippy… Oh, wait, Muse… they did that Knights of Cydonia song that apparently everyone but me likes, right? Am I crazy? I could be crazy. Anyway, I thought that song was pretty mediocre, either way… and this song is approaching Rock Song to me, although not quite, because the guitars are different… but… hmm… let’s see… yeah I’m… I’m not focusing on the song. That’s a bad sign. HOOOOO-OOOOH-OOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! And then guitars till the end, I guess? Oh, just one sustained note till the end. I see.

Four: “Prelude to War” – Battlestar Galactica Season 2: BSG, huh? Another thing my boyfriend would like me to watch with him but didn’t keep my interest. I take it this is just an instrumental track… although I admit I’d laugh if you’d get a guy in there going like… “A PRELUDE TO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR WAR IS COMING THEY’RE COMING THE CYLONS ARE COMING WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! A PRELUDE TO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!” But no, instead you have some nice strings here and there’s that kinda marching drum beat in the background, which I suppose is appropriate if you’re writing a musical piece to invoke the concept of war. In general, though, I find such music, even if completely awesome, to have little effect on me if I don’t already have some sort of emotional connection to the music. Case in point, the Smash Brothers Brawl Soundtrack. I’m sure there are lots better music out there than, say, this Kirby Boss Medley, but that music isn’t connected with all the fun I’ve had with all the Kirby games over the years, and that Medley just kicks ass, you know? And now we’re into marching band drum solo, I see… uh oh, and now here’s… oh, it went back to normal, I thought it was doing some like… mysterious spooky thing there for a second. But yeah, it keeps on going. It’s over halfway done… I think I’m just going to ramble about me and orchestral pieces more… like how I find them really useful for writing but I can’t listen to them much otherwise? It’s because normal music has lyrics and lyrics fill the word part of my brain while I’m trying to sing along, you see? What? That doesn’t make sense? Oh well. But yeah, this is a nice background piece, but especially at the length it just fades into the background for me. See, it was building there and I thought it was going to do something different, but it was just one big note and then it went back to normal. Oh well. And here’s a slow calm part for awhile with no drums… but I like the drums, that’s what gives it energy, you know? Okay, well, it’s adding more and more instruments and building back up now. Yeah, this is a nice little piece, certainly. Just, as I said, I only use this sort of thing in really specific situations, and even then, it needs to be energetic. Me and energetic music, we’re good friends. I think it’s almost over now…? Yeah, okay, there we go.

Five: “Big in Japan” – Tom Waits: Big in Japan, eh? How big are we talking, hm? Oh well, there’s some sort of sawing going on… and now we got some guitar. Woah, what’s up with that guy’s voice? Got some sort of effect on it, I think? But it’s weirdly kinda subtle. Man, that’s a weird voice. He’s got the truck, so he’s big in Japan…? Moves…? Cheese…? What? I think he’s just naming off random objects now. Or does Japan really like Cheese? I mean, I’m sure cheese is alright to them, but… Yeah, this guy’s voice is just annoying and weird, goodness… and the rest of the background stuff isn’t interesting enough to pull me into it anyway. I just realized, is Tom Waits a person or is it a sentence? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Also, is having a whole nation on their knees a sexual thing? Or is my brain just going there because my brain goes there? Then again, it is called “Big in Japan.” I don’t know. Man, I don’t like this guy’s voice. Did I say that? I think he’s done singing now, though.

Six: “15 Step” – Radiohead: Ooh, that’s not too bad… okay, now he’s singing… still not too bad… let’s see what happens… I don’t know Radiohead. Even when they put up their album for free I didn’t try it. I don’t know what that says about me. I just never had a reason to want to try them, I guess? I wasn’t expecting it to be so electronic… with the MIDI claps in the background and whatever, you know? I mean, I dunno what I was expecting, either. This is a nice song, though. Here’s some ooohs… and now back to the normal stuff… Etcetera, etcetera… some electric-y bridge here… oh, okay, they brought the bass back in… yeah… that’s nice. This song, I am enjoying. Maybe I have made a mistake not trying In Rainbows or whatever that one they put up was. Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty good. I’d like to see if they did something even more upbeat.

Seven: “Knives Out” – The Flaming Lips: More Flaming Lips, huh? You guys have certianly made me listen to more of them than ever before, and I see ViolentVixen’s CD has another track on it. They haven’t grabbed me so far, though. This is looking like slower paced piano piece, so it probably isn’t going to do much for me just on the basis of being slower. Oh man, yeah, any song telling me to slow down is probably not in sync with my normal music aesthetic. Not at all not at all. Yeah, this song just keeps going and going and going and going and I’m not interested, really… a lot of talk of catching the mouse, though. I’m pointlessly tempted to attempt to make that into some sort of euphemism. “I’m catching the mouse, if you know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge.” And now we’re into long instrumental portion that isn’t really changing it up from the rest of the song at all. Aaaaand it’s over.

Eight: “Lose Me” – Denali: Uh oh, this is sounding slow too. Doesn’t look good for me. There’s some cymbal… oh, female vocals… yeah, the chances of this picking up is pretty well nil, and the lyrics aren’t catching me enough… sometimes I feel bad at how I just hate slow songs for no real reason, but that is just how i am, I suppose. I could force an appreciation on myself, but that doesn’t sound like very much fun, does it? Well, it doesn’t to me. I’ve been trying to force an appreciation of older literature and poetry and stuff for years and years of college and haven’t succeeded at all. Oh, it ended.

Nine: “The Greatest” – Cat Power: Oh man, and I had such hope for a band named “Cat Power.” I’ll be honest, all these slower songs are not helping me stay awake… my body has been trying to force me to nap, and here I am trying to keep myself up by doing something constructive and here we go. But this has some nice harmony going with the vocals and the stuff… but yeah… more piano and slow music and singing that’s just sort of over this slow plotting piano… and I guess there’s some strings in there… violin? Or something. Well, that ended kind of abruptly.

Ten: “Strangers in the Night” – Cake: Okay, so all those things I’ve said up there about me not liking slow songs and stuff? For some reason it rarely applies to Cake. I like Cake. And I like this cover of Strangers in the Night. I don’t claim to be able to explain it. I’m sure the brass helps, though. Brass is nice. Also, the VIBRASLAP. I used to play the Vibraslap. It was GOOD STUFF. Anyway, I mean, granted, I wouldn’t listen to this like… a lot… like how I normally put songs on endless repeat? I couldn’t do that with this. But I like it.

Eleven: “Some Solex” – Solex: Accordion? Nice. Oh, and female vocals… and… that’s… weird noises… huh. See, I like the basic melody but it always ends with these noises and that light cymbal hit that my brain tells me sounds like a puff of steam…? And that bothers me. But the simple whatever is nice… yeah, you… you have a lot of this short thing repeated over and over under music, don’t you? Yeah, that’s something a lot of this CD has in common… I do kinda like those vocals too, although I’d like them applied to another song than this one, which I don’t think I like overall. It’s got these parts that are nice? It… It makes me think that I’d like other parts of their album or something. See, that “Some Girl EH eh…” part I think I’d like very much if it was over different music. It’s just so weird as to be distracting and not engaging.

Twelve: “She’s a Rejector” — Of Montreal: This is reminding me of something, but hell if I can remember what… woah, that’s… some interesting vocals there too. Not annoying, but unexpected. Come on, song, Break It Down after this. I think you have potential. Aww, not quite as much as I wanted. Still, I think I’m liking this song. This is a weird Bridge, though. Oh no, she’s a rejector. No no no… no no… yeah, this song isn’t bad. Yeah. Only halfway over, though? It feels most of the way over… I wonder what the song is going to do… or if it’s really going to fade out that slowly… songs need to know when to stop. if it would stop about here that would be nice, but it’s going to go on and on and stuff to make me feel like I need to invest more time than I should into the song… that always annoys me. Just keeps on going. Keeps on going. Bleh.

Thirteen: “Soft Velvety ‘Fer” – MC Honky: MC Honky… are we going to have a lot of bicycle horns in the song? Oh, okay, apparently a voicemail message. Some intense talk about dinner. Oh, and apparently it’s going to be remixed for the whole song…? Or just played over the song. I don’t think using them as the beat is really working. At least in my opinion. I mean, the voicemail messages are kinda cool in that weird sort of way. Oh, and there’s the name of the song. Aww, being very proud of the dog. See, that’s nice. Well, I guess except because she’s humiliated. Gotta be proud of your own. But yeah, this is surprisingly interesting. Weirdly interesting. Never going to listen to it again, but weirdly interesting.

Fourteen: “The Shape of Things to Come” – Battlestar Galactica Season 1: More BSG… this is from Season 1, so maybe I’ve heard it? I’ve watched like… 6, 7 episodes or something or other. But okay, yeah, it’s just an orchestral piece, right. It’s got that steady thing over and over behind it though, like I mentioned most of the CD having earlier. Yeah, again, there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s charming enough, but it’s not doing anything for me without… something for it to color. Does that make sense? Like without a scene for this to splash emotional feelings onto, it just feels kind of… wasted… kind of half done in my eyes. I guess that’s because that’s how I normally experience these orchestral works, while watching a movie or playing a game or something.

Fifteen: “Horse Tears” – Goldfrapp: Now I like Goldfrapp, quite a bit, actually, but I don’t recognize this title, which makes me think it’s on Felt Mountain, which is the only one of hers I don’t have. I don’t claim to know WHY I don’t have that one… then again, it could just be one I never liked and forgot the name of… yeah, it’s all slow and stuff… yeah, this is the other flavor of her stuff that I tend to be pretty mediocre on. I don’t know. It just doesn’t do much for me. Also, I prefer the more electronicish stuff. Heh. Anyway, it too has that piano bum Bah bum Bah over and over constantly like most of the songs have… does all that even make sense? It has this short like… 1 to 2 measure repeating pattern… yeah, it’s ending with a long instrumental, isn’t it. But hey, I think I hear some Theramin. Now there’s a cool instrument! If it’s not a theramin, it should be, dammit. I have decreed it to be so.

Well, alright, that CD definately had a few hits for me, but at least as many misses, if not more. But so it goes, I guess. It was supposedly over a wide range of musical tastes, or at least Sarcasmorator’s musical taste range, but I felt they all had a lot in common. Hm.

Once again, I am COMPLETELY BEHIND! Then again, people are behind in sending them out. But I’m behind. So I’m inspired to finally do one more. So I will! Sorry this too me so long, TheSL.

Heavy Metal Gear
Listening Time Volume 12 by TheSL

1. Bringing Back the Balls to Rock by Lordi Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yaow!~ Oh, man… yeah… all… growly… I think the boyfriend likes this kind of music, but I don’t normally enjoy it. I think it has a lot to do with me not liking bringing my voice that low, even though I can, and growling like that for the whole song makes my throat hurt… I like to sing along with songs. That’s a good vector to me liking something. Anyway, ramble. It’s… I don’t know enough about this kind of music to find differences… I don’t know. It’s… it’s… well, it’s not Rock Song, because Rock Song doesn’t sound like this… but… maybe it’s Metal Song? I dunno. But Hail in the name of Rock and Roll, though, most definitely. A sort of nice little solo, though, but then they got back to the growly refrain. And it just… ended. Yeah.

2. Concrete Jungle by Black Label Society Woaaaaaowwwwww… well, that’s the sound the instrument is making… I mean, that’s a guitar, right? But it has some effect on it. And they have this effect on the guy’s voice too… that makes it all… muffled? I don’t know why that would be. And now it’s gone for the refrain. Huh… if there’s one thing I can say about this sort of musical thingamajig is that it certainly has an energy behind it, you know? It’s not one that tends to click with me, but… Apparently nobody gets out, and I should be ready to die. That’s kind of unfortunate, as I have a class to get to after this and being alive and not in my house would help with that.

3. Like Light to the Flies by Trivium And we’re right into the screaming. Man, I wouldn’t like to do something like that in Rock Band. Heh. I wouldn’t last several phrases before I starting singing in my light little falsetto stuff. Oh, okay, so here’s some other singing… Like Light to the Flies… I heard the title! Something about bleeding out the eyes? I don’t know? See, again, the screaming growling stuff has energy behind it, but I can’t like… tap into it because I’m not going to scream like that… I don’t know, I’m weird, I guess. Shame on me, I guess, for my head thinking all these so far are Metal Song. Well, I guess the second track was a little different. I don’t know. The non-screaming voice is like… weird… I don’t know how to describe it the way I’m thinking of it… it’s like it should be in another sort of song. And here’s a big solo… no tambourine, so I wouldn’t be entertained at this part in Rock Band. I’d be doing horrible dances to attempt to horribly distract people horribly. See, this solo is long. I’ve found that I really hate songs that just solo forever, no matter how interesting they may be. Put it into a neat Instrumental track, but leave the song alone so I can just have that “good stuff” when I want it, you know? I am rambling about nothing now, I think.

4. Washed-Out World by God Forbid And right back into it. Well, if there’s one thing about this kind of music, it’s that it wastes no time starting with silly fade in pianos or something, just straight to the ROKK!~ YEAAAAAAAAH! Or something. Is that inappropriate? I don’t know. Mm, this guy doesn’t have the… oh, wait, now he’s doing that growly scream. I was almost worried there for a second. It’s going back and forth and back and forth between the two vocal styles, and it’s just doing it’s thing in the background. See, I also like trying to catch lyrics most of the time. I can’t tell what the fuck they’re saying when they’re growling like that. Drum roll part with something about the future and telling it, I think… more and more of that… and more of that… oh, I think they added some guitar there… and more of that… future future… Ooh, now there’s some solid screams. What does the future hold? That’s a good question. I assume 10 more tracks of similar music? Will I like any of them? Who knows. I’m doing bad at blogging this, aren’t I?

5. Superbeast by Rob Zombie This is the Dragula guy. That’s all I know. Okay, it’s starting. There’s some space sounds in the back. Charging the laser… mmkay, got some guitar… yeah… yeah… okay… wee wee woaaaaah, wee wee woaaaaaah… and some whispery growling this time… yeah, I’m there… I’m there… my head is bobbing to the beat… the beast is super, yeah… okay… Hey, Yeah. I’m getting behind this one. Not something I’d go out of my way to listen to, but I’m liking it. I couldn’t begin to tell you what makes this song different from the first four tracks though, that’s making me click with it. Which is kind of bothering me. I should be better at explaining such things.

6. Light Discovering Darkness by Soilwork Okay, it’s all guitaring and stuff… okay okay… yeah… not letting it destroy me… you better shut it down, apparently… yeah, this is… calmer for a lot of the song than previous songs… it’s also got some sort of something over everything during the echo-y parts… mmm…. I better shut it, though… aww, he sounds kinda sad about feeling it… but now back to the growlyness. What kind of work would you do with soil anyway? Planting? Are they metal farmers? Tilling the fields? Oh, it’s over now.

7. Destroyer by Static-X This is softer. Well, as in there isn’t like this… wall of sound in the background. It’s just like one guitar… well, okay, now there’s some bass there too. Anyway, it’s calmer in the back, even if the voice singing is more whatever ever ever. Anyway, simple? Softer? What’s the word? Oh, okay, here’s like… a solo and it’s a little more… busy in the background like these songs sorta tend to be… You do it again, you do it again, Destroyer… taking it down with a hammer thing… and doing some something something… oh, wow, that ended extra abrupt.

8. More Time to Kill by Lamb of God Duut duut duut DAA DAA! And the guitar is going all up and down up and down in the background as he growls… oh, well, okay, I guess it changed at this point, now it’s more… one constant note. There’s some woooooooAAAAAAAAAH! God Damn! Oh, and here’s the bridge, I suppose… still more guitar guitar guitar guitar… and now this is like a screaming solo? Or something… and now we’re into the real guitar solo part. With just real fast notes and stuff as these things tend to be… and like machine gun sounds… Yeah, I don’t know. Also, I don’t know if this is really taking away the sins of the world or anything. Have mercy on us. Yeah. Yeah. Metal. Yeah. The end.

9. Driving Down the Darkness by DevilDriver Well, this one sounds a little more desperate, perhaps, than the other songs. Oh, I liked that Dah dah duh duuh… thing it did at the beginning. I’d like more of that and less of crazy electric guitar stuff. Oh, there it is again! I win! Okay, and now we got some growling, and he’s threatened to kill me apparently… yeah, okay. Okay, I guess this is the refrain, because I hear the title. That’s always a good sign. Yeah, I don’t know, these songs are just all the same to my ears. I’m a horrible music listener. And I mean, okay, they are different, but what they offer me, I feel, is exactly the same. There is no like… different feeling in there to make me listening to this song mean anything different from listening to any other song on this CD or even like Dethklok or something. Bleh, I’m sorry. I have no idea what I’m going to say for these last 5 tracks. I’ll pretend it’ll be interesting. Oh, they kicked up the pace that little bit towards the end. Double time! Man, all these songs just end, too. Bam. Done.

10. Halo by Machine Head If this isn’t a love ballad to Master Chief I’m going to be disappointed. Well, not really, but I’ll pretend to be disappointed. I suppose if it was, though, we’d be having some riffs playing off the Halo theme here, huh? This part is pretty nice, though. Intense but not overwhelming. Oh, okay, now I guess we’re out of the introduction and back to business as usual. Yeah, there’s the growling screamy vocals. Apparently it’s time to fight… the Covenant…? Maybe? No? I didn’t catch what they said at all in that refrain, so it very well could be. Okay, I think I can make it out this time. The Halo Over us… something something… well, that’s all I got. So, okay, that’ll have to do. Mm, less than halfway over, apparently. I don’t know what the rest of this song could be though. I mean, besides more of the same. Oh, okay, they’ve picked up the pace a bit… right… right… Okay, now w’ere in a big solo part… and there’s a lot of scales being played… up and down… and lots of little probably very hard to play flutters and stuff… And then we slow down and dramatically rock out for a second… yeah… and then it’s sort of… hmm… I don’t know how to describe that part… it reminds me of the Minibosses playing Mega Man music, but I have no reason to think that. What? Female vocalist singing something? Hey, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Fall, OOOOOOOOOOOO! And then I guess we do this slow stuff with extra screaming vocals over the top until the end? Oh, I think I heard Swallow in there. Oh, okay, they switched it up with those drums there building to the end… oh, I thought they were going to end there. But they went back to normal. And I though they were going to end there, but they didn’t… And then they ended there. Okay then.

11. Inhale by Stone Sour Stone Sour is an interesting band name, I think. Not as good as the recent band name some friends of mine came up with. Check this out: Extended White Chocolate Experience. Now there’s a band name. But okay, this is normal singing, and it’s a bit more restrained. That’s nice. But I bet he’s going to start screaming when we get to the refrain. There’s some base under building up to the… he’s not screaming. Oh, woah. Woah. That’s a nice change, to switch it up from earlier, but I can’t say the song is doing much for me other than that difference, you know? But there it goes again. Oh, okay, now he’s doing the screaming growling, but it’s over halfway through the song before he got there, and he’s going back to his normal voice. See, I can get more behind that, though… sort of… spot growling for emphasis. It’s sort of like… if you end every sentence with an exclamation point, then it’s not really adding any extra excitement or emphasis to the whole thing, you know? Oh, they seem to be having some technical problems… the tape is slowing down and stopping… need to get a guy on that, stat! Oh, too late! The song is over!

12. Senzafine by Lacuna Coil Oh, this sounds different and promising. Female vocals! Neat! And a guy coming in there… see I expected him to come in screaming around there. Okay, this is obviously in another language and I don’t know what it is. I want to say Spanish but I’m probably crazy. Some keyboard in there. Yeah, this is like just an overly dramatic-sounding song and not really what I would think of as Metal. But I mean, I guess it is? I don’t know? I would assume TheSL would know better than me. Hmm, okay, this AHHHHHHHHH! with singing over it part I’m not really too thrilled with… but it’s all winding to a close, so… okay then. Aww, some windchimes.

13. Another Hero Lost by Shadows Fall Acoustic guitar? Okay, maybe he’s faded to something completely different in the end. Or is it going to Break it Down into Metal stuff later? I don’t know. Oh, okay, now it’s a duet with a female voice. Forever is waiting, apparently. I hate to leave Forever waiting, but I have a bunch of shit to do. Oh, okay, there’s some electric guitar. But it’s still slow and not what I think of these songs as. It’s nice that he’s going to have a nice day at the beach, though, getting buried in the sand or whatever. Okay, and now we’re to the solo instrumental part. And yeah, okay, it’s a slow sort of rocking out, but I guess I see the Metal-ness in there… oh, especially now with that quick scale sort of stuff… and his voice is getting more Metal as it goes on and on… or maybe not, now it’s back to normal… eh, who knows. Well, this fade-y ending is fairly nice.

14. Let the Bridges Burn by Killswitch Engage Okay, here we go… last track… and it’s making an annoying sustained note at me… okay, and now it’s into the guitar thing. Oh, alright… they got lots of people to scream in the background there for a second… oh, and they’re back… alright. And now the main guy is screaming too. Oh. Mm. Yeah, that… yeah. Am I ready? Willing? For what? I missed the for what. But I guess I’m ready enough. I mean, I dunno. Ready-ish? Okay, now it’s slowed down a bit… but he’s still screaming and screaming. A blast from a stones…? No, I must have heard that wrong… Misery… turned that away… that sounds like a sound plan… hm… oh, wait, maybe it’s BURNED away… since the song is Let the Bridges Burn. Oh, and here’s crazy drums and guitar all fast and he’s still screaming… and screaming… about Ashes now and dust and how he should dust, I guess. Going from dust to dust, making sure he gets it all… Let the Bridges Burn! Let the Bridg. Es. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuawwwrn… BROTHERINAJAR!

Yeah, this… yeah… this was completely not my music. At all. But I’m sure some enjoyed it, and, you know, it was worth a try, I suppose. But try as I might, my head threw most of these in the same box and called it a day. Oh well, so it goes.

So I can’t play Advance Wars: Days of Ruin.
I thought it was just that I couldn’t play MUCH of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin? I’d play it in little spurts. That’s fine, I thought. It’d last me awhile. But I’m to the first level where I’ve hit a stalemate, and it’s going to take me gods know how many turns to break it. And I just don’t want to. And I don’t. I mean, I want to push through the campaign so I can unlock all the COs for multiplayer, but I just can’t do it. It’s just like in Risk. There comes a point where you know a player is going to win. They’ve won the game. But to actually beat everyone in the game, it’s going to take another hour of pointless dice rolling. Hard Advance Wars levels can easily get like this. I know I will beat the computer. I’m not in danger of losing. But the number of turns it would take is just not worth my time. And so I put the game down.
Now, I’m not saying Advance Wars: Days of Ruin isn’t a good game. Because it totally is. It’s a great game, a vast improvement from a mechanics standpoint from Dual Strike, very friendly to those new to the series, and offering the robust online play that the hardcore want. But I know how to play the game. It hasn’t taken me too long to get most of what there is to know about using the new units. (I think Carriers might be more powerful than I’m giving them credit for, but that’s about it.) And once I figure that out, all that’s left is this great game, but a great game I have played to death, and when it confronts me with these “waste 20 turns to push past this stupid bridge” moments… it’s hard to care.
This all got started because Parish put out a call for “what should we ask the people behind Advance Wars” for this interview they were doing, and I eventually wrote up some things I wanted to hear, a lot about their process in making units and balancing them, as well as justifying the attempt at a serious story in a game with silly gameplay mechanics, but it made me realize that I hadn’t played the game in like 2, 3 days. So I put on a podcast and start and I put it down in like 10 minutes. I dunno. It’s just… it’s kind of depressing, I guess. Advance Wars is one of my favorite series… oh well, I suppose I have Culdcept Saga to enjoy next week.

Also, there seems to be a lot of talk recently about how I seem incapable of getting tired of Kingdom of Loathing. Here’s why, in a numbered list. 1) It doesn’t take much time in the day to do. I rarely play marathon sessions and when I do, it’s after not playing for like 4 days, so it’s not old. Also, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care about being optimal, so I don’t mind if I don’t play for a week and then come back. 2) It’s perfect to play while podcasting. 3) It’s neat to see my set of skills build over time as I perm them and make me more flexible and more powerful. 4) I play as one class for like… 2 months. And then I ascend and switch. The classes do play differently. Not a whole lot, but enough that it keeps the combat from being completely old. I’ve been every class, but for the past few months I’ve only been Pastamancer… so now that I’m a Sauceror, the various splash buffs make the experience different. 5) I listen to the Jick and Skully show and thusly I am constantly hearing about all the new stuff they’re working on, and it’s all really neat. 6) I’ve still got goals to shoot for. I want the Tome of Transcendent Olfaction and the Pompadour’d puppy. That takes a lot of time. And when I get done with all that, I do want to see all the cool content in Bad Moon. Hell, just going Hardcore Oxygenarian to get the Plexiglass Pocketwatch made the game feel a lot different, because as a “normal run” player, I do get dependent on Hagnk’s and the mall for various items. It also made the game slower, which meant I could play less often and not lose any turns, which is good for getting over boredom with the game. If I feel boredom setting in, I’ll be doing another Hardcore Oxy run, you can be sure. Probably as a Seal Clubber. 7) Finally, even being on my tenth ascension, there are still jokes that I missed that I will randomly get and make me laugh my ass off.
Anyway, there’s some reasons. Does that clarify? I don’t know.

This has been a look at two games I love, one that I’m sick of and one that I’m not. Feel free to use this to figure out how I get sick of things. Or something. Hell, I dunno.

So many better games I could be playing or reviewing, and yet this game captured my interest basically all day.

So… It’s time to slam jam.

Imagine, if you will, someone who likes Charles Barkley and the sprites from Barkely Shut Up and Jam, and has watched Space Jam enough to write elaborate fanfiction on it. This person is who made Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden. You too can download this game here or just watch the trailer for it here, if you prefer.
Basically, this game is an RPG Maker creation, though it does seem to be hacking pretty thoroughly. There’s actually bits of interesting battle system in there. You’ve got action-based attacks like in Paper Mario, for example. You’ve also got some interesting monsters to fight, like this Robotic Gatorade I was fighting earlier.
But mostly what you have is a game that is seriously making fun of things by taking them overly seriously. This game has an almost scarily thought out back story for what is such a completely stupid concept. There is an explanation for everything, even if its done using concepts such as “Negative B-Ball Energy.” There is a tale behind how Barkley accidentally brought about the Great Baller Purge, and how the earth was plunged into this Post-Cyberpocalypse. It’s all so ridiculous, but as I said, so complete that it’s hard to look away from it. I don’t even know most of the basketball players being parodied in the game, and it’s still intriguing.
The game also uses this overly serious style to attack other things. All of the save points, for instance, spout at least 4 screens of rant about how things from Japan are better than things from the west. I’m almost certain these are copypasta that I don’t know the source of, but they’re funny because they’re so amazingly serious and sincere. Of course, they also apply the same lens to furries at length, which, you know, I’m fine with. It was sort of weird how much I agreed with some of the dialog, though.
There’s also plenty of odd, humorous parodies. There was a long parody of the whole hunts thing in FFXII that I enjoyed, for instance.
Anyway, I guess the point is, it’s pretty decently written and not completely abysmal in the gameplay department, and it couldn’t hurt to give it a shot. You might end up pointlessly entranced like me. It’s not going to revolutionize anything, or probably impress many people, but I enjoyed it. I guess that’s the point. If you watch that Youtube video and think more of that would be funny, give it a go.

What day is today? January what? And this is an all-Christmas mix? Man, I’m really behind. Oh well, here we go.

M. Nicholai’s Mix
The Silent Knight Returns

1. Santa Claus is gunning you down by Planet Express Oh, of course, the Futurama. Heh. What do I even have time to write, though? The track is already over.

2. Father Christmas by The Kinks Kinda a rocking start here… huh, that’s… I dunno about those vocals, they’ve got a weird quality. Oh, wait, now that we’re to the chorus, I think I’ve heard this before, actually… but at least it’s not a song I was hearing all season at work, so that’s nice, to be sure. Anyway, it’s kinda nice, but it’s not really… bringing about the season for me? Then again, it’s hard for something you’re not familiar with on some level to do that, isn’t it? I don’t know if that’s really the idea anyway. A kinda fun little bridge thingy here, very upbeat. Yeah, not bad.

3. What Christmans means to me by Hanson I don’t know if that’s a typo in the name, but I left it anyway, so there! Oh gods, this is a song I was hearing all season in Kohl’s. Oh gods, oh gods! Well, at least it’s interesting to learn that this is by Hanson, apparently. Yeah, this is a song I was singing to badly for over a month… I do nothing but sing badly to the songs at work very loudly. Did you know that? Probably not. I also do this thing where I just pick one pitch and sing every word at that pitch for the whole song. And when people ask me why the hell I’m doing it, I say “Kids today are spoiled, with so many pitches! Back in my day, we only had one pitch, and liked it!” This song is kinda happy, though, isn’t it?

4. Santa Claus is coming to town by Jackson 5 Ah, the Jackson 5. I actually haven’t heard a lot by them that I haven’t liked decently. It’s nice kinda stuff. Fun and easy. And this is definitely that same way. Little Jackson has a pretty hardcore voice, to be sure. Let us remember him this way, hm?

5. Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney Well, this seems like something my mom would like. I say before I listen. Oh, it’s this song! Dammit, they played this at Kohl’s too. Damn workplace, tainting all the songs it plays! (Exceptions: I Hear the Bells by Mike Doughty, You’re Really Growing On Me by The Darkness… those oddly have not been tainted by Kohl’s replaying them always while I work) There is some neat little blippy stuff in there, though, isn’t there?

6. Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon and Yoko Ono Mmm, yeah, okay… so that’s Yoko Ono singing, huh? I don’t think I’ve ever heard her before… I can’t say this song is doing a whole lot for me, though… it… it’s kinda got a depressing kinda vibe, actually… like… lost nostalgia kinda feeling… like… you can’t go back kinda feeling… if that makes any sense? Also there are a lot of kids singing, apparently. Happy Christmas to you too, slowly fading quieter children…

7. Xmas in the Arctic Pole by Drugstore I don’t know of this “Drugstore” of which you speak. There’s some weird vibrations in her… his…? The vocalist’s voice. It’s… weird… Yeah, I definitely haven’t heard this song before… A solid dose of nah nah nahs in there, I see… I don’t know why waver-y strained voiced person is going to the Arctic Pole, though… I guess I missed that. Or maybe that’s just where the Xmas happens, so you gotta go to the Arctic pole to have any of it… but then does the Arctic pole have a queen? I remember a queen being mentioned… and now the vocalist has pitched themselves lower and it sounds weird. Well, alright then.

8. This Time Every Year by Saturday Looks Good Jingle-y bells… and there’s some guitars there… and some bellish sounds there, too… but wow, that’s kinda… noisy in the background… is it my speakers or is there really all that static-y sound back there? Goodness… okay, there’s a guy singing about the middle of December… which I guess makes sense… but apparently there’s old girlfriends and things going wrong… at this time every year. Aww, poor vocalist. Try calling new girlfriends, maybe? And being less echo-y and having less constant cymbal in the background to annoy me. Seriously, it’s just like this wall of sound in the background for no apparent reason, I dunno what’s up with that… like… it’s drowning out this other guitar back there…? I dunno.

9. Merry Christmas (I don’t want to fight tonight) by The Ramones Well, good, you shouldn’t fight on Christmas, because it’s all happy and shit… okay, but yeah, I get it… Christmas… no fighting… alright here’s some other lyrics… alright, children and faeries, and excitement… and love, that’s good, but it has to be that way, apparently, and you shouldn’t break up now… so I guess this is a song about wanting to wait until after Christmas to break up, I guess…?

10. Santa Claus and His Old Lady by Cheech and Chong Oh… kay… Cheech and Chong, huh? There’s some guy talking now, and some other guy digging something… huh… surely there is a band named Santa Claus though. Well, good! I get to learn who Santa is! Awesome! Brownies! Kickass! Tea! Communes! And there’s some stuff getting down behind him talking that’s not too bad. Chuy is a good reindeer name. That’s a great explanation about how he got everything done in time. “He took the freeway, man.” Oh maaaaan, Santa is getting strip searched now… Oooh, he’s underground now. Sneaky. Well, that was… interesting, certainly.

11. Santa Claus is a Black Man by Akim and Teddy Vann Oh gods, what is up with her voice? Oh gods, that’s annoying. I mean, I guess it’s a kid, but wow. Okay, gotta, you know, take it as cute. Be cool… well, it’s nice that all these oooohers were available to help out for the song. Oh, and now here’s someone else out of the oooooohers singing instead… and now you’ve got even more… okay… yeah… yeah… I get it… well, that wasn’t what I expected from that title, honestly.

12. Please Come Home for Christmas by Charles Brown Oh, alright, it’s this one… actually, I don’t think this one got played in the workplace this year… it’s not flipping any of those flags, anyway… it’s kinda classic, though, huh? It’s never anything I’d listen to outside of something like this or like… my mom putting on a CD of Christmas music, though, but it kinda feels like Christmas, doesn’t it? Maybe?

13. Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie Bowie? Bowie?? Indeed it is. That’s really kinda nice, isn’t it? With Bowie up there higher and stuff… yeah, that’s not bad at all. Certainly something I wouldn’t have heard normally, though. I don’t claim to know enough about it to know if this is like… a remix that Bowie could have made with him singing over it, because it feels like it could have been very easily. Either way, kinda neat.

14. Christmas Time is Here by Vince Gauraldi Trio Don’t know this name… oh… oh, it’s this one… what is this one always making me think of… like… Peanuts Christmas, maybe…? Is that what it’s reminding me of? I have no idea. It’s very light and airy, of course… very… unobtrusive background style, I suppose. It’s got that sentimental feeling too, certainly… mm.

15. Fairytale in New York by The Pogues featuring Kristy MacColl Mmm, yeah, very… oh… oh! I think I heard a version of this sung by Dr. Girlfriend and the Monarch awhile back… but I didn’t really recognize the song. I guess this is it, huh? The guy’s singing is kinda eh, isn’t it? He’s got a weird annoying quality to his voice… oh goodness, what in the world is happening now? It’s got like… bagpipes back there or something? Or at least the quality that makes me think of them, anyway. Oh my. Well, at least it picked up a bit, hm? Goodness, it used the word faggot. Wow. Um, yeah, didn’t expect that from the beginning. Huh… well… I guess it’s about Christmas…? I’m not really getting that from the whole thing though, but whatever. It’s not like it HAS to inspire that in me or whatever.

16. Twelve Days of Christmas by Bob and Doug McKenzie Very Canadian sounding, apparently. Perhaps I should be drinking a White Canadian while I listen. Oooh, mystery days of Christmas. I like that idea. Okay, I think I’ve heard this part now that they’re singing… kinda. But yeah, I’ve heard this part. Oh man, I like that choir singing “BEEEEEEEER!” Heh. Well, well sung, people. Merry Christmas and a good day to you, too, sirs! Now there’s all kinds of talking and electric noises… yeah… well, that was nice. Heh.

Well, certainly a Christmas mix filled with stuff I hadn’t heard before with a sprinkling of stuff I had… like… once before. It works! But probably would have worked better if I hadn’t listened today and had instead listened like… in December. But oh well. That’s another one down! Whoo!

Hey, Harmonix, if you’re listening to me for no reason, here’s what I want to see as Rock Band DLC, no in particular order. Well, besides TMBG being first.

1. Anything by They Might Be Giants. Need some Suggestions? Okay. How about Snail Shell or Damn Good Times?
2. Albuquerque by Weird Al. Yes, I would play it. It would be hilariously awesome. It would also never happen.
3. Digital Love by Daft Punk. Also probably would never happen, but I love that song.
4. Just about Anything by Franz Ferdinand. I’d love another try at Take Me Out with the vocals and drums, or something like Dark of the Matinee. And, of course, Do You Want To.
5. What Is Rock by Blue Man Group. It would be INSANE on expert drums, and a lot of fun. Alternatively, Time To Start, though that might be boring for the vocalist.
6. More Good Rap. Granted, I know NOTHING about rap music, so I doubt I’d be able to recognize it to buy it, but Sabotage is REALLY fun and different on the vocals.
7. Walkie Talkie Man by Steriogram. Yes, the opening song of Elite Beat Agents. I love it. And it would be really challenging to sing. And it’s a good song.
8. Just about Anything by Soul Coughing. I think So Far I Have Not Found the Science might be neat for a slower song. I’m also partial to Moon Sammy and Super Bon Bon. Super Bon Bon has tambourine for the vocalist.
9. Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight by Spinal Tap. Yes, we already had it in Guitar Hero II, but I wanna sing it, dammit, and Spinal Tap is awesome, and that’s one of the better choices from the band’s songs. I’ll also accept Gimme Some Money because I think that song is hilarious and it is probably my favorite Spinal Tap song.
10. Tribute by Tenacious D. Or any of the good songs on the original album… Double Team, or Wonderboy… something like that.

There’s just some ideas off the top of my head. Most of those will never happen, because they have to hit the lowest common denominator so that they’ll sell lots of it when they make it… so that means more classic rock and stuff… but I can dream, can’t I? Also, Jonathan would like more Bowie, but as far as I’m concerned, of the songs in the Bowie Pack they hit all the rest of them I wanted. Still, it did say “Bowie Pack 1” so maybe there’ll be more. Sass of Potatoes could become a Bowie cover band.

Okay, so, this is 1 of three… gotta geeeeeeet this dooooooone. So here I go. Looking at the inclusion of TMBG and Freezepop on this list, I have a good feeling. Let’s see what happens.

The Giant Head’s Mix

1. Hey Sandy by Polaris Jupiter or Thor, eh? Some talking and stuff, I see… Hmm, okay, so it’s… yeah, got a guy singing with lots of echo-y-ness. AI Yai Yai Yai… Mmm, it’s nice enough, I suppose. Not like… mind-blastingly awesome or anything. That Duh da dut da duhhh thing with the guitar is kinda neat. It’s kinda… light-feeling… Also seems to have a lot of instrumental interludes, apparently. Huh. And it just kinda ended.

2. Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants Ahhh, classic Giants. TMBG was the band that got me to listen to music, actually. Flood was one of the first CDs I ever bought… if not the first, it’s been a long time. But oh, how I love them. Their new stuff is… it’s still pretty great compared to like… “Rock Song” as me and my friends call it, but it’s not quite as wonderful as some of the older things… they’re pretty great in concert, though I do wish they’d actually STOP playing this song in concert. I get that not everyone at these things goes to EVERY SINGLE CONCERT they have like I do, but… you know. They could play something unexpected and neat. Like Number Three. I dunno. Anyway, TMBG = Thumbs up. I don’t have much to say about Birdhouse other than that. Heh.

3. Big Day by Tahiti 80 Mmm, I’m liking that base line… come and get it, eh? All falsetto action, I see… mm, this is quite catchy, isn’t it? Yeah, it is. It’s not rocking me, perse, but it’s infectious. I like it. This would make bad-ass background music to something… I dunno what. Some sort of really neat montage in something or something. Such a Big Day! Or like the opening credits to some movie or something. Just to get a little closer to you, I see… yeah, I really like this song. It doesn’t sound like there’s 80 of them, though.

4. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1 by The Flaming Lips I have heard about the Flaming Lips time and time again but I have never heard one of their songs. So I guess I can hear this one, eh? Not… off to a good start in my opinion. It’s slower-paced. The song has the word “battles” in it, it should be peppier, shouldn’t it? I mean, I’m glad she won’t let those robots defeat me, but… mm, yeah, it’s really kinda losing me. The lyrics aren’t like… witty enough for me to get over my irrational hatred of slow songs. There’s some sort of little vocal instrument-style part in the background, I hear… oh, I realize I think I heard a Ben Folds cover of a Flaming Lips song before, but I suppose that doesn’t count. Yeah, probably not.

5. Riverbank by Pelle Carlberg Doo doot, apparently. There’s a xylophone in the background, I think? It’s all… it’s nothing that’s catching me. It does have a lot of Doo Doots, though, doesn’t it? It’s very light. A lot of this CD has been light. What the fuck do I mean by Light, anyway? I dunno. Dut, and it’s done.

6. Spanish Bombs by The Clash at Demonhe… no, wait. Heh. There’s some strumming there. And some singing in an accent, apparently. It’s got that constant duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh underneath it. And the brush-y high hat thingamajig too. What are they even saying? My brain isn’t like… grabbing any lyrics besides “Spanish Bombs, blah bleh blah blah blee blah blah…”
 
7. Stellas Was a Diver and She Was Always Down by Interpol Nice of them to tell me the title before they started, in cause I got distracted more. There’s some drums and droning over and over guitars… and he’s like… talking, barely singing… Yeah, people are easily distracting me from this song. There’s no energy behind it. It’s just kinda… floating there, you know? Well, I guess this drum soloish part has a little more energy… but yeah… floating, that’s a good word. There’s just floating sound over him talk-singing… that’s not very exciting to me. Hmmm, it keeps going… and going… and going…

8. The Ghost of Genova Heights by Stars These people seem to be famous, or made of burning gases, so that could be promising… there’s like little keyboardy stuff in the background… hmm, this isn’t too bad, but I’m gonna hope for a “Break It Down” coming up here in a second… come on… come on… aww, all they did was add some cymbal action. And now we’re singing all falsetto style. I notice a lot of talk about neighborhoods. Yeah, this isn’t bad, but I’m not tapping my foot with the beat, so it’s not like… a full winner… but I can listen to this, most definitely.

9. Pop Music is Not a Crime by Freezepop I like Freezepop. I just ordered the album this is on like… yesterday, because I didn’t realize it was out until yesterday. I… don’t think this one is going to be one of my favorite Freezepop songs, but it’s still fine. Favorite Freezepop songs? Chess King, Boys on Film, Freezepop Forever, Stakeout… yeah. It’s good to know it’s not a crime, though, for I do enjoy Pop Music from time to time, yesyes. I do enjoy the blippy too.

10. Once Around the Block by Badly Drawn Boy Oooh, okay, I’m liking that weird guitar… I’m hoping it keeps that up… oh yeah, kinda… swing-y there…? That’s kinda nice. Is there going to be vocals? There are! And the vocals aren’t even badly drawn! At the same time, for some reason I feel like an instrumental with that start might have been neater. Still, it’s kinda neat music, isn’t it? It does tend to repeat quite a bit back there, though, as it keeps going… Oh, a little scat there, I see. Shibbity bow woooow! Or something.

—One Shower and Rock Band Break Later—

11. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi by Radiohead Like those drums. Quick. And there’s some guitar, I see… hear…. and it goes and goes and goes… now Radiohead, they’re the intelligent fellows who gave away their latest album and accepted donations, didn’t they? Even at free, I didn’t check it out, though. Didn’t really know too much about them or care about them, but I saluted them. Hmm, okay, they added vocals, but it’s nothing strong. Everything is just basically the same thing repeating in the background. I’m also not hearing much description of weird fishes. Isn’t this supposed to inform me of the local fish population? It is kinda building more and more and more as the song goes on, though… and of course, as I point that out, everything cuts off… Hey! He said Weird Fishes! The background is fairly… water-y, too, so I guess that’s appropriate. And now it’s built back up for the bridge, I suppose. And it keeps going with some singing and nearing the ending aaaaaaaand… cuts off and it’s done with a cymbal thing! Alright, I suppose.

12. Jesusland by Ben Folds I’ve said what I thought of Ben Folds before, but people probably only read the ramblings for their CDs, so I’ll say it again. I like this faster, funnier stuff, but a lot of his music is very slow emotional, which probably fits the piano well, but I don’t care for. I like stuff like Underground, Jackson Cannery, and, my favorite, For Those Of Ya’ll Who Wear Fanny Packs. This is basically a song by Ben Folds that I wouldn’t listen to. It’s upbeat at least, but it’s not… his singing is light and arsty… oh, wait, here we are at the refrain with the people coming in behind him. That’s alright, I suppose. But yeah, it’s all rolling, walking forward with the little beat and piano… I don’t know, as per usual I fail at trying to explain why the music isn’t engaging me. I need to be engaged to really like something (although I have recently discovered a love of fun orchestral stuff, as I find listening to the Gyakuten Meets Orchestra while writing really helps me, as I’m not tempted to sing along with it, and I like the music) to really get behind it, you know? And when I have something to help me do that… say… Rock Band or Guitar Hero or any music game, really, I can get more into a song I wouldn’t like otherwise… anyway, the point is, this isn’t really getting me, although it is definitely a nice little song. The End.

13. No Right Angles by Ben Lee Is this guy part of The Bens? I remember that from somewhere… and there was one guy who had this song that was like “Tell me all the rules, girl… I just wanna get along” that I liked… and I saw that guy on Conan and he was like… a midget compared to Conan… is that this guy? I don’t think it’s this guy. His voice is different. I just rambled about nothing there. Okay, so it’s slow like the last song but with no piano… it’s got that beat… and the same sort of light singing that doesn’t often engage me because I want to sing along with vocals and I want to fucking SING, you know? Bam. Anyway, do you know how hard it would be to have no right angles in your life? You’d have to like… build a special house and never leave it. It’d be annoying. Like… people would have to take things out of boxes for you before you put it into your house. Okay, you can tell with my random thoughts that I’m not enthused with this song, sorry. Oh, it just kinda… ends… with lots of silence.

14. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince Oh my. Oh. Oh my. I… I might as well kick it. Man, his voice is kinda grating… low low HIGH HIGH low low HIGH HIGH low low HIGH HIGH low low HIGH HIGH. Also, DJ Jazzy Jeff, let’s been more Jazzy, perhaps? Jazz-licious? Man, it fades out for awhile, doesn’t it?

15. Hammering in My Head by Garbage Oooh, blippy fast. I’m sort of a fan of Garbage. I honestly haven’t heard a WHOLE lot of their stuff, but I haven’t heard a track of theirs in a game I haven’t liked. I think I have one album of theirs, too, Beautiful Garbage, and it’s pretty good. Man, that’s kinda dramatic sounds behind it… oh, now it got all light and oooooh all of the sudden… okay, back to the dramatic beats. Mmm okay, yeah, it’s a pretty good song, but I can’t say I’m completely won over by it? I’d listen to it again without hesitation? I might rip it when this is all done. But I’m not… I’m not sitting here rocking out… you know? Mmm, there’s some growly-ness at the end, here, I see. Fade away.

16. Kid A by John Mayer Oh, Guitars. Shocking. Or not. I dunno why I wanted to say they were shocking. Yeah, this is back to songs more like… like before the Fresh Prince songs… We’ve got some heads on stairs? Okay… yeah, he said it again, I didn’t hear it wrong… That little squeaky noise is kinda neat… I assume that’s being made on a guitar somehow… I guess kinda… sliding the pick up a string that isn’t vibrating, maybe…? Oh, that… hmm, it’s fading out now. Oh well. A lot of silence here… and… aaaaaand… done.

17. Sugar Water by Cibo Matto I know this person… I’ve heard songs by her before… they were pretty decent… I think… hmm… okay, Sugar Water… okay, here’s a rhythm… and some singing… it’s all kinda laid back, really… makes me sorta feel that way, too… hmm… La la laaaaaa… la la la la la la… yeah, my attention from it keeps fading. Whatever that means about the song.

18. Winter Spring Summer Fall by The Postmarks Duh daaaa dutdaaaa… hmm… ooh, female vocalist, I didn’t actually expect that… it’s still light… so light… whisper-y, now… and back to normal… light light floaty light. Hmmm, she seems to have been falling for you for several minutes now… man, I think my concentration is fairly shot, I’ve been interrupted so many times… Sorry… oh well, just one more, I’ll keep it together.

19. Lithium by The Polyphonic Spree Your head is a good place for friends to be… and they shouldn’t have broken their mirrors, that’s bad luck. Ooh yeah, they built it up for that yeah yeaaaaaah yeah part, I like that. I’m glad he’s not sad, though, that’s good. Yeah yea-a-ah yeaaaaaaah! I like that part very much so, cause it’s all intense. Ooh, here’s some bridge with the intensity still up… he’s not gonna… what? I can’t understand that word… what, he’s going to kill you? Dammit, singing guy! Murder is not the answer! Yeah yeaaaaaah yeah! Man, there’s still a lot of song left. Are they going to vamp for all of it? Oh, okay, go back to that part, that’s alright then! Oh, okay, and this little piano-y part until the end fade here… and… yeah.

Okay, that was a pretty decent CD. I could probably listen to all of it again without too much of a problem. I got distracted by people several times during the thing, but at this point, if I waited for when that wouldn’t happen, I’d never get the damn things done, you know? So I did it. I hope that’s okay.
1 down, 2 more to go. Goodness.

Before I get started with the review, just a few things. One, why the fuck was I completely entranced by this comic for like… two days? I have no fucking clue. Two, yes, I have THREE Listening Time CDs to liveblog now. Bleh, I am failing at that… I hope to get on the bandwagon soon… one is all Christmas music, for fucks sake! I can’t wait much longer!

Anyway, Earth Defense Force 2017. I got it for my brother for Christmas, you can probably pick it up at budget prices like I did, and you should, especially if you have someone else to play with.
There are tons of things wrong with the game. The graphics are just a little over budget PS2, the gameplay is really repetitive, and your AI-controlled teammates talk CONSTANTLY about NOTHING, which would probably annoy the shit out of most people, but Jonathan and I find it pretty hilarious because it’s so bad. In any case, Bioshock this is not.
What you get is a game that is a TON of fun with two players and completely mindless. There is a joy in blowing shit up, you know? That is what Earth Defense Force gives you. Take a friend and play split screen mulitplayer. You both can pick two weapons, that you switch between whenever you’d like. There’s completely useless weapons and completely crazy ones. I think there’s something like 171 weapons in all? Most are slight modifications of other weapons. Like, for example, you’ve got a wide variety of assault rifles with different rates of fire and damage amounts, etc. But you also get crazy shit like the Acid Spray Launcher and, our favorite, the Air Tortoise, a homing missile launcher that fires missiles that move so slowly you can nearly outrun them, but who explode gigantically. Anyway, you pick your weapons and you run into short missions, 53 in all. You don’t have ammo, (Except on a few guns that completely suck) you only have reload times. Some are long, some are short. You blast rockets at gigantic ants, jumping spiders, flying space ships, and giant robots over and over and over. The combat is completely ridiculous, with huge swarms constantly coming at you and the realism level being so that you can fire a single rocket at a skyscraper and it will collapse into a pile of rubble. There are also some vehicles, too, but you don’t use them because they control like crap and are so damn slow.
So you fire and you fire and you fire, and you pick up Armor, which increases your max health permanently, and new weapons, and you shoot some more until you beat the mission, and then you move to the next one and do it all over again. There’s little strategy involved besides “Don’t fire the rocket launcher at an enemy close enough to get you caught in the blast.” Yet, trying out all the ridiculous weapons is a good time, and bringing a friend along, like most games, makes the fun increase quite a bit. Jonathan and I are yelling at our AI teammates in the same stupid mannerisms they talk in, blowing shit up, and loving every minute of it.
There’s a versus mode, but it’s not really worth mentioning. Well, besides the AIR TORTOISE BATTLES Jonathan and I have done. We both equipped two Air Tortoises, and entered the battle. We were at separate ends of this huge map, and we just started firing the things at each other. The rolling and running from these slow-moving missiles is hilarious fun, and it’s actually kind of tense, since it takes so damn long to reload one of them. Give that sort of match a try, perhaps, but you’ll never touch it otherwise.
But seriously, just blowing shit up. It sounds so simple, but it is so fun, and completely worth 20 bucks, if you have a friend to bring along. To say anything else is just to repeat myself over and over again, I think.

Well, um. I’m behind. Let’s get right to it. The tracklist makes me wonder if it’s all like… punk… but the inclusion of a Soul Coughing song is encouraging. Also, I know so little, don’t be insulted if I’m so far off, Valhalla! Anyway, here we go.

Valhalladeath’s mix

Track 1: Let’s Take a Trip Together by Morphine Mmkay, is that some sax? Yeah, mmkay… hmm… Mm, some weird layered vocals… not like bad, though. This is a very laid back song, isn’t it? Apparently he wants to go the scenic route and we’ll get to know each other. The lyrics are sort of romantic, but the music doesn’t really inspire that in me. Hmm, what’s that percussion back there… it doesn’t sound like a normal drug… almost woodblock but not quite. Eh, I dunno. I think it’s how the guy sings that keeps it from feeling romantic to me. He’s got this unique sort of tone but I’m not getting anything behind it, you know? Hmm, fading ending…
Track 2: Super Bon Bon by Soul Coughing Ahh, a classic. Super Bon Bon. I am a Soul Coughing fan, if the inclusion of a Soul Coughing track on my own mix didn’t give it away. I like the Propellerhead remix of this a little more, I think, but the original is really good too. Now, see, as I listen to it, it has a similar quality to the last song… very laid back… but I like this one a whole lot more… is it the lots more percussion, or Doughty’s much more trippy lyrics that go along with it? Or is it where it kicks it up a notch during the refrain? I dunno. “And by! The Phone! I Live! In Fear! Sheer Chance! Will Draw! You In! To Hear!” Fuck yeah. Heh. I think there’s something about Soul Coughing in how Doughty’s voice is both vocal and like… instrument, you know? Maybe? His repetition gives it a much more rhythmic quality than just singing, and yet there are words there to… get. The end.
Track 3: Breaker by Low Ooooh, there’s some clapping. Clapping is exciting right… and some weird electric organ music… kinda piercing, actually… not all that pleasant to hear… hmm, I wonder if the song is gonna “break it down” anytime soon or if it’s just going to be all this… mmm, nope, just all this… but they added vocals… but man, I don’t like that electric organ sound… it’s not a pleasant listening experience with it’s minor and it’s high shrillness and shite… hmm, there’s a guy AND a girl singing now… Oh, here’s some guitar… are they going to break it down…? The song is like… 2/3rds over with by now, though… No, just… some more stuff in the background under the Ahhhs and the piercing noise… Apparently there’s got to be an end to that, though. So that’s nice.
Track 4: Crestfallen by (+/-) Interesting band name… ohh, weird vocal samples for percussion… and what is that stringed instrument… harpsicord…? That’s just a random guess… this isn’t too bad, though… I just hope it “breaks it down.” Does that make any sense, when I say that? Basically, I mean, make a huge change and… BAM! There it is! Breaking it down! Now we got all these drums and guitars! Yeah! That’s real nice… I like this song… I might like it better if it was less… instrumental and had some more vocals… more I listen to these CDs the more I realize I love a good set of vocals and lyrics in my songs… probably because I’m that person singing along with the songs in my car all the time. Aww, a nice ending.
Track 5: Solace of You by Living Colour Hmm, that opening reminds me of something but I can’t put my finger on what… okay, here’s some singing… mmm, he’s all… what’s that I’m trying to say… I have no idea. Something about his voice… bleh, I dunno. It’s kinda repetitious so far… oh, okay, it’s changing. Here’s a verse, I suppose… oh and there’s some background vocals… Yeah, this is a nice enough song, but it’s not going to get into my regular listening schedule… but it’s nice. Wish I knew what it was reminding me of, though, so I could let you know… mmm… Ooh, I like this “gotta go back inside” thing at the end there… yeahyeah.
Track 6: Life in One Day by Howard Jones Oh, what? What? This song? I know this song… I never had a name or a title for it, though… they play this at my workplace, so I do have an automatic aversion to it, though I admit it is one of the BETTER songs they play at my workplace… not one of the best, though. (They sometimes play Gorillaz, The Darkness, and Guster, for example) Oh well, I guess I’ll play the flute and dance and sing my song until it gets over with… but yeah, instant bad feeling towards it because it’s a workplace song. Sorry.
Track 7: Sunday Bloody Sunday by Saul Williams I think I heard a version of this by Richard Cheese… I have a feeling I’ll keep thinking of that while I listen to this one. But okay, here are some drums… and some singing… Yeah, definitely have listened to a version of this by Richard Cheese. Certainly trying to be intense, isn’t it? With the little electric wacka wacka noises… Yeah, it’s acting all intense but the pace is very slow… well, okay, not VERY slow, but… slower than I would expect… it seems like it’s trying to pump me up, you know, and it’s not, because it’s moving too slow to do that… 2NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE! We can be as 1, baybee. Wow, what’s up with this bridge? Serious electric… stuff… overtaking the song! It’s eating it alive! Oh, and now it’s suddenly gone because of tears being wiped away. Was it all supposed to be tears? And now there’s a spoken part here about fact as fiction and crying and needing a drink and death… yeah… “trying to be intense” is my short impression of this song. And it ends abruptly.
Track 8: No More Love by God Lives Underwater Woah, I already love this song… this opening is great. I hope it does something good with it… mmm, not bad, though the music is eating the vocals and they’re like… doing something weird with multiple voices to make it hard to understand… Yeah, I love that guitar thing at the beginning, and now it’s repeating again… the singing isn’t carrying me along between them, though, as I’d like… it’s still pretty good, though. Mmm, only halfway through the song, eh? I guess this is the bridge? It has an Ahhhhhhhhhh going on over the guitars… and it keeps on Ahhhhhing and falling in pitch… and then back up… No Moooooooooooore! (love) is how they’re singing it… oooooh, now they’re breaking it down… with that guitar and some electric beats on top of it… yeahyeahyeah, I like this… man, I wish I liked the singing parts in the middle as much as I’m liking this part at the end. This is nice… and fade away ending…
Track 9: Chrome by VNV Nation Oh nos, some sort of aliens invading… all electric… oooh yeaaaaaaaah, I like that… some nice techno-y beats there… let’s bring it all together with some solid vocals… okay, here’s the singing… mmm, not bad… not bad… now break it down, make it more intense… no, didn’t… hm… still, some nice base behind it… awww, okay, here’s the refrain and it still doesn’t KICK IT UP A NOTCH, you know? Bring it back to the level of that opening with the refrain? It’s still more subdued… that’s not what I want… I want that energy through the whole thing… but it just goes away when the guy starts singing… he’s not excited with the music, he’s just singing and there’s music behind him… he’s gotta go with it, you know? Gotta… eh, it’s going to change the song. It’s alright, I’m just disappointed. They start with these strong beats and then get to these generic “let’s sing because this song has lyrics” part that doesn’t DO anything interesting… see, and here’s the bridge, and it’s back to those techno-y beats and it’s building up… and it’s going to build up to him singing again, which will go back down, I know… see, it’s not even building up to the level it was at the beginning… yeah… and an abrupt end…
Track 10: Get Your Body Beat by Combichrist Stutterful… hmm… and it’s got a building thing behind it… am I going to get my body beat by this song? I dunno… it’s thump-y… again, going for intensity, I think… it’s got these evil growl sorts of noises in the background there… hm… oh yeah, okay, intense singing… Well, at least my complain about the song not being in tune with the singing and the music not hitting the high it had at the beginning is moot on this song. The music builds with him. Ooh man, the song is dropping F-bombs! Oh nos! Go! Go! Pyew! Pyew! Let your blood flow! I don’t know what genre of music to call this, but it’s not really a genre I listen to. Still, it’s got energy and it know what’s its trying to do… okay, here’s the bridge, and it’s… just sort of sitting there with creepy stutter-y talking in the background… maybe sung through one of those things that make your voice come out like the guitar? If I could play instruments, I’d use one of those all the damn time, those things are cool. Anyway, I would stop to go get my body beat and let my blood flow, but I still have 12 tracks to go, so I guess I must disregard the song’s advice for the time being. Okay, for the end, the song sorta fell into the background… and runs for a little… and then stops.
Track 11: Speed by Atari Teenage Riot Well, definitely feels speedy so far. …huh… they seem to be having fun. But there’s just them singing over all this random noise… most of it at a really really fast pace… there’s a guy and a girl…. mostly the guy except on the refrain I guess? SPEED! SPEED! SPEEEEEEEEEED! I’m trying to think of how this is different from what Melt-Banana does on a lot of their songs, with her just sorta yelling over random stuff in the background? I really can’t find a good way to put it. It is different in my head, though, most definitely… SPEED! And it’s over.
Track 12: No “W” by Ministry A choir? Oh nos… sounds ominous… despicable acts of terror and evil? Damn! And now some heavy guitar over the choir sample. And now here’s some really fast guitars… dudddlaudddladuddla… and some really fast singing to go along with it. Very sorta… guttural? Is that the word? And here’s a sustained something… I dunno what he’s saying… Crash, maybe? Something. Well, it all certainly is up-tempo… this is like… like… Tony Hawk music. That’s what this makes me think of. Maybe that’s an insult? I dunno, playing Tony Hawk was the only place I heard stuff like this… I don’t get out much, musically. Heh. God Bless America, the end.
Track 13: Push It by Static-X Duddaduddaudda DOO duddaduddadudda DOO! Yeah, you’re whatever, yeah, you’re something else, yeah! Yeah! Listen to them grunt and try so hard to be HARDCORE. Apparently he sees it and needs it! Then stop pushing it, man! You’re just going to forget where you pushed it to! I dunno, this song isn’t doing much for me. Heh, oh, wow, that’s kinda different in the bridge here… with the little tinklies… but… yeah… forgettable in my book… it’s not really keeping my attention here.
Track 14: The Unthinking Majority by Serj Tankian See, yeah, this is the sort of music I was thinking about when I wrote the intro… these last few tracks… are these not punk? I mean, I have no clue. Oh, okay, this completely changed… and is singing about Antidepressants… awww, I don’t like those lyrics, seeing as my boyfriend just started taking antidepressants… These sort of thoughts were why it made me very uneasy when he told me, but I trust him and stuff… but that’s UNRELATED TO THE SONG! I guess that’s what you get when you liveblog, though… ooh, I kinda like this bridge here, though, with the quick guitars… but yeah, the song is kinda political, isn’t it? I don’t tend to get into such things… I guess the whole… back and forth between the antidepressiants part and the other part makes the point of the song pretty well. Fits the message, I mean.
Track 15: The Mob Goes Wild by Clutch Sure, adjust your pants all you want, guy… not gonna stop you… mm, that’s kinda fun, hmm? It’s got a nice beat and stuff to it… it carries me along with it, and I always like that… yeah, this is going to end up being forgettable, but I’m going to enjoy it the whole time it’s playing, I can tell. More political kinda lyrics though, isn’t it? I get the point of those sorts of lyrics… I mean, it’s probably all important in the big scheme of things for people to write such things and distribute such things… but I really don’t care for it… give me creativity and humor with some rocking music or something over making a statement any day… well, a political statement, at least… sometime I guess I’ll have to explain my apathy towards politics… I at least have a justification in place, even though I don’t know if that excuses me. But yeah, anyway, remember that statement about enjoying the song all the way through? I did. The music was simple but catchy and nice.
Track 16: Tom Sawyer by Mindless Self Indulgence Not one of my favorite MSI songs, in all honesty, but then again I only have one album by them that I like like 3 songs off of. It’s not the sort of music I tend to gravitate towards, but my ex-girlfriend in the past really liked them and, as I said, got me into several of their songs. I don’t think I like this song because it doesn’t inspire me to sing along with it… but maybe that’s just because I’ve never taken the time to figure out what the fuck it’s about and what he’s singing, I dunno. It’s not bad, though. The end.
Track 17: Ridicule by American Head Charge This is surprisingly slower and more acoustic than expected. There’s a lot of mumbling I can’t understand going on… and now there’s some guitar…? And more mumbling… and more guitar… and more mumbling… and now it’s more… whatever. He’s all scream-y and it’s got those sort of… hard guitars in the background… what the fuck is that sort of sound called… metal, maybe? Hell, I dunno, that assumption is made like completely off of watching Metalocalypse. And now it’s gotten all slow again… and then back to that thing… Oh, okay, here’s some serious guitar and screaming again… I will never see you agaaaaaain! Apparentleeeeeeee! And some sadder yelling… and then back to the slower acoustic-y stuff… till the end, maybe? It’s looking like it… yes… yes… and… yes, to the end! Setting up for another song on the album I don’t have.
Track 18: Circle by Slipknot Phone-calling noises…? What…? Okay, some acoustic guitar… You can have all the dust you’d like, guy. Time has flesh, apparently. Sounds delicious. Should cook it up and eat it! Or something. That was a stupid thought… he’s singing lightly with repeating guitar beats and now here it went to a refrain… is there some violin in the background? No, I think I’m crazy… He knows the way, that’s nice… Yeah, this song has no energy, so I don’t really like it much at all… Also, everything he sings has this echo for whatever reason… I don’t think I want to follow him, really… ooh, I do like all this drums and stuff at the end here with the weird noise of the top… but it’s the end of the song… see? Over.
Track 19: March of the Pigs by Nine Inch Nails Peppy… doot dee doot dee dootdoot dee! Aren’t these guys like big or something? I can’t remember ever hearing a song by them before. But he’ll let me come down, which is nice. Now there’s quiet whispering singing and suddenly piano…? And then it explodes again after silence… interesting, at least. Heh. And it seems to be repeating the pattern… yeah… except there’s more piano… and the piano is the end of the song…? Yep.
Track 20: Backstabber by Dresden Dolls More piano, but it seems to be a main instrument… oooh, female vocalist. Nice piano… I’m all for piano as a rock instrument… or something… heh… this is actually feeling like more of an Essner song to me… it’s pretty good, but it’s not really getting under my skin and making me rock out to it. But it’s fun. There’s some male vocals behind her voice…? I think. There’s some building list I’m not completely paying attention to. Damn me. It’s a nice background song, though, but like I said, it’s not taking me over and making me pay attention. It’s also very soft and happy-feeling for a song called “Backstabber.” Oh! Oh! Was that an F-bomb I hear near the end? And we’re going out with a lot of piano, it seems.
Track 21: I Got Lost by Dinosaur Jr. I want to like this band, because it’s name is Dinosaur Jr. which is a great band name. But it’s starting very slow and acoustic here, which is turning me off, thanks for my pointless dislike of most slow songs… oh, there’s some big drums building now… but we’re still intro-ing… still intro-ing… is there going to be singing? There is is… and… wow… yeah… not liking that… how to describe that… so… pointlessly falsetto… and it has some sort of filter over it… something softer and less annoying would have fit this song a little better, wouldn’t it? Maybe? I’d like it more, maybe… yeah, I really wanna turn this song off, but I shall persevere through the last half. Damn you, Dinosaur Jr.! You have such a cool name! There’s some strings in the background… something bigger, like a cello, maybe? I dunno why I always try to guess the instruments. I don’t know enough to be accurate at all, really. All the way, all the way, now… singing in an annoying way now… And it’s over.
Track 22: Cure for Pain by Morphine This is the same band as at the beginning, isn’t it? Yeah, it is, I’m not stupid. I can remember names. There’s a sax, front and center. Where is the taste? That’s a good question. I’d like to know that myself. Yeah, not a lot here for me to get excited about… but at least it’s not annoying me like the last song. It’s kinda soft and lazy… and he’s throwing his drugs away… and it’s going all sax solo, which is nice, certainly… someday, there will apparently be a cure for pain… I don’t like that idea, though. Pain is useful, even if… painful. You want to still be able to feel pain, you just want to be able to deal with it well… oh well, CD over.

So, yeah, I was mediocre to most of the songs, but it was alright. I could get into a few, and I love Soul Coughing… so… there you have it, I suppose.

So one game that has been on my mind since someone showed me a Youtube video of some of the cut scenes (from the DS version, of all things) was The Simpsons game. I’ve never really been a Simpsons fan, and with all the bad talk about how The Simpsons has gone downhill combined with how horrid most licensed games are, I never would have given this another thought. But those cut scenes did make me chuckle, so I was thinking about trying it. Well, I’m sitting on a fat stack of Hastings Credit, so I decided to try the demo, and if I liked it, go and rent the game. Well, I liked it, and was impressed by how the sound clips never repeated and were all entertaining. So I rented it, and I’ve been playing it all night. I’m not done, but I will be tomorrow… but I can say with confidence that the game is quite enjoyable, and that this is how licensed games should be made.
The basic plot of the game is that the Simpsons stumble upon an instruction booklet, which tells them they are in a video game and thus have video game superpowers. This sets up all kinds of things that pull in all sorts of Simpsons characters, a lot of which I only vaguely recognize and would probably like more if I ever watched the Simpsons, as well as setting up tons of Video Game parodies. It does this really well, actually, and it’s refreshing as well to see EA (who made the game) poke tons of fun at itself as the evil video game overlord who does nothing but stamp out sequels. In any case, why you play this game is for the dialog. All the characters have lots of lines that are very true to the show and very entertaining, and, thankfully, the designers decided NOT to have any of these lines repeat (unless you restart the level, which is okay) which is a godsend and keeps them all entertaining, as opposed to moving into annoying. (For an example of how not do to this with dialog, see almost all the dialog in Clive Barker’s Jericho) It’s all fan service and funny jokes, and even as someone to whom a lot of the fan service goes over my head, it’s still entertaining.
The gameplay itself is nothing to write home about, though. It’s serviceable, and rarely frustrating, and honestly, that’s all I can ask for from a licenced game. It would be neat if it were better. For example, Marge plays kind of like Captain Olimar, and rallies mobs to do things. If this was even MORE like Pikmin, it would have been completely awesome. Instead, it’s just a little like Pikmin, and doesn’t really come off as anything memorable. It’s just a little variety from the beat-em-up action of the other characters. The worst part is the camera, which can do some really odd things and not always control like you’d like. In those times, you just have to kinda give up, and let the game do what it wants. It can be a little frustrating, but, at least for me, the humor inherent in the game more than makes up for it.
Anyway, the game is short. I’m going to beat it tomorrow, no doubt in my mind. I’m over halfway through it. It was completely worth the 6 dollar rental, but I can’t see how it could be worth much more than that, even if you were the sort of person who is willing to go through and find all the collectibles (I’m not, though I think I will go back and collect all of the “Video Game Cliches” that I missed, because those are funny and completely true) and try to ace all the time trials to maximize replayability. I dunno who would have thought it was worth the 60 dollar asking price. But it’s pretty great, and it’s on like every console under the sun. Go rent it for something and enjoy it, eh? Especially if you’re a Simpsons fan, you won’t be disappointed.