The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

I have played Heavy Rain. Tomorrow will be the completely and utterly spoiler-laden review, so if you care about David Cage’s latest opus and haven’t played the game yet, I’d stay away from that one. Today, I’m just going to talk about mechanics.

Specifically, Quick Time Events.

In a game that I am playing specifically for the plot, I honestly have very little problem with the quick time event, especially when implemented how Heavy Rain does it. For the most part, failing a sequence distinctly changes the action sequence and how it’s progressing. That’s awesome. Failing a button press and seeing your character fall down, or fail to block a punch, really heightens the tension. It’s way better than most QTEs in that regard. I feel like it fits the game really well. I don’t have a problem with them being there.

What I do have a problem with is their presentation.

In trying to make things look artistic and cool, David Cage has basically ruined playability. It may seem, initially, like a good idea to have the commands appear, context-sensitively, in the environment. For example, if an object to pick up is on the ground, the command to pick it up appears on the ground. Sounds good, right?
The problem comes when you mix in the dramatic camera angles if the game. If there’s an object on the ground, and I’m far away, the icon is far away too. This means I cannot read the icon to figure out what I have to do, even on my fancy new HDTV that I got to make reading such things easier. Oftentimes, to the game’s credit, it makes sense what I have to do. In the previous “pick an item off the ground” scenario, the action is always moving the stick down, as if reaching down, so if an object is on the ground, doing that will pick it up 90% of the time. Still, in heated, time-sensitive sequences, not being able to read the icons is obscenely frustrating, and causes you to make mistakes for stupid reasons.
This is only made worse by the “thought cloud” mechanic of talking. Your various conversation options spin around the character’s head. If you’re far away, you can’t read what they actually say, and often can’t make out which button does which thing. Often, options you want are behind the character or objects in the environment, making it impossible to read them all. These are some of the most time-sensitive choices in the game, and the game completely impedes you from making them. I wouldn’t mind the little touches, like the options shaking if the character is worried or rushed, if I could actually read them normally. Then it would be part of gameplay, and that’s kind of cool. Since I can’t read them normally, though, it’s all just pointless and frustrating. Ugh.

It’s sad that Heavy Rain couldn’t get it’s key mechanic completely right. It bothered me all the way through my playthrough. Still, it was quite an experience, but that’s all based on the plot, so I’ll save that for next time.

STAY TUNE!

Finally, I get to stop using my stocking mimic and use something new in the familiar department. What new would that be? Why, it’s this month’s IoTM, of course! The Baby Bugged Bugbear!

If you even look at the page, you’ll see why I quite like the Baby Bugged Bugbear. I enjoy kitchen sink familiars that do a wide variety of things and are constantly messing with combat and making things different. The Baby Bugged Bugbear fits this perfectly. It switches at random between Leprechaun, Ghuol Whelp, Fairy, and Volleyball, as well as gives you “bugged” items and sometimes fiddles with combat in weird ways. I’m especially glad it gets the Ghuol Whelp in there, as that’s an easy way to make me like something.

It’s also just really flavorful and cool. The general concept of a familiar being completely broken and constantly throwing up php errors, and that being it’s power, is just kind of completely awesome. It’s entertaining, and that is mucho important to me. That’s what I like out of stuff like this. I get IoTMs to increase my entertainment as I keep working through the game.

On top of it all, the familiar equipment lets people who care about tuning their familiars tune it to do more specific sorts of actions. You can make it act like a Fairy or Volley full time, if you’d like, although you have to zap the equipment to turn it into the full fairy version. This is cool for people who care about such things, but I don’t. I do, however, want to run for awhile in full fairy, because it has different bugged equipment drops when you have it set up that way, and I want them! I mean, there’s a container in there! That’s just neat!

Yeah, I think that the Bugged Bugbear is kind of a home run. This is pretty well exactly what I want from a familiar, and it doesn’t seem to be completely useless speed-wise, either. (By that I mean, you aren’t completely handicapping yourself by using it. I kind of doubt it’s going to end up being part of any serious speed run strategy, but eh, I know nothing of such things, so maybe I’m wrong.) I’m going to enjoy using it for this run, I think. It’s good stuff.

As normally happens, Essner pulled me out to go see a movie film, and this film was called The Losers. I really didn’t know anything about it before I saw it. I had saw some annoying pop-over ads on websites, and I vaguely knew it was based on a comic, but nothing else, really. I had little expectation.

The movie was completely fantastic.

The Losers isn’t trying to be anything more than a fun, entertaining action movie, and that’s exactly what it pulls off. There are great fights and action sequences galore, with plenty of ranged and melee combat. There’s explosions. Action stuff happens, and it is completely satisfying.

At the same time, the movie is actually pretty hilarious. It’s not that what happens is particularly funny. It’s not slapstick or anything, or completely over the top a a la Shoot ‘Em Up. It’s simply that the characters are just really witty and entertaining in their speech. Jensen, in particular, says some damn funny lines, and fulfills his role as comic relief really, really damn well. However, he’s not a “joke” character, and still manages to get up to plenty of bad-assitude. All the heroes do. It’s actually pretty spectacular that way. Everyone is a badass, everyone plays their role and shines, and everyone has some really funny lines at some point in the film.
Similarly, the villains of the piece, Max and Wade, are similarly hilarious. Wade’s over the top level of straight man routine, done in a way where you know the character is doing it just because he knows what kind of reaction he’s going to get, sets up some really damn funny moments. They have a damn good interplay, and are suitably villainous while being completely likable.

The plot is forgettable. Some bad things happened, they’re getting revenge, there’s some sort of magic science bullshit threat, etc. But it’s no worse than any other action movie you’ve seen, and by far the humor and spot-on characterization make this movie shine above other stupid action flicks I’ve seen recently. This is a movie that I’d be glad to have on my shelf someday. I was thoroughly and completely entertained the entire way through. Essner told me that, apparently, this movie is getting bad reviews. Honestly, I can’t imagine that being the result of anything but having completely off-base expectations. This is a funny action movie. It’s not trying to be art. If you want to just relax and enjoy some action and some laughs, The Losers is a damn good choice. You should see it.

I once saw a link for an iPhone game on FurAffinity.

Now, I tend to have a sort of love/hate relationship for specific “furry” things. In general, I don’t feel like they’re needed. The subculture’s tastes are not so crazy for things outside of fetish sex that it really needs it’s own, say, music, for example. Yet, when I see these links for these “furry” music labels, I have to click on them and see. I have to attempt to figure out how the hell a music label could be that. I rarely find an answer, but it’s an interesting couple of minutes while I explore. (Most “furry” music tends to be chiptunes and electronica, by my research, if you care to know.)
In the same way, when I saw the ad for Mole: Quest for the Terracore Gem, I kind of had to see what it was about. Why would you make a game specifically for furries, and what would it be? It also helped that it was free when I picked it up. That also didn’t hurt.

Still, I suppose I got lucky. Mole is actually a pretty fun game, and if I had spent the 2 bucks it now costs, I probably wouldn’t feel gypped. It would be an easier recommendation at a buck, but it’s a solid bit of momentary distraction.

The easiest way to describe what this game is would be to compare it to Miner Dig Deep, but since that’s an XBLIG game nobody has probably played, it’s probably stupid to make that comparison. Basically, Mole is a casual game of risk/reward. You dig down as the Mole guy, and search for gems and minerals. You only have a certain amount of air, and if you pass out, you lose everything you collected during a run. If you return to the surface, then you bank all your gems and money, and can buy upgrades to your equipment, so you can go deeper. Then you do it all again, and keep repeating until you’ve upgraded enough, and unlocked enough elevator drills that you find during your trips, to dig all the way to the bottom and get the MacGuffincore Gem found there.

Controls are simple. Tap, and Mr. Mole Guy moves there. Walk over some goods, and he picks them up. You can tap on hard rock to bomb it open to get at the goodies inside. That’s basically it. The game is a race against time, but it rarely gets tense. You’re simply trying to maximize your profits per trip. A trip looks like it’s not going to get over 5 minutes or so, (I can get down through all but like two of the strata, and I have enough air for 3 at the moment, so I assume 5 after two more upgrades) making this fine for short bursts on the go when you’re bored. It’s music and podcast friendly, so if you just like having something to mess around with while you listen to such things, this is perfect for that too. It’s casual, relaxing, and non-stressful.

Basically, the fun comes from feeling a plan come together (If I circle down that way, I should still be able to make it back up in time, and I can get that big chunk of minerals I noticed over there) and from the progression. Slowly, but surely, you’re always making progression towards your goal, and that’s something that I can appreciate. Progress is only lost if you play it too risky, but even that doesn’t set you back too much. If you’re not holding back and grinding, you can almost always buy a new upgrade every one or two dives, so you’re always doing better and better. It’s that kind of progress which makes it fun, for me, anyway. I enjoy that sort of stuff. It’s why I played CoD4 multiplayer so much, for instance. It’s just enjoyable to see goals constantly being met. If that sounds like fun to you, then Mole might be a game for you.

As far as the “furry” nature goes, the two characters in the game, the Mole and the shopkeeper, are drawn as furries, but that is it. There’s no weird stuff. It’s really just a game with a couple of pictures that might not appeal to you. They made a little game, and decided that putting that spin on it would get them more purchases. Honestly, I do hope it works for them. Mole is a fine little game, and if appealing to the furry niche works, more power to them.

Yeah, so that was that experiment. It worked out well! Always nice when that happens.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m milking two whole posts out of WET. Deal with it.

If you’ve played Stranglehold, you know it had some great ideas, but they just completely didn’t work. The game got boring as all get out very fast, and the objectives meant to vary the game up just kept you from doing what was cool about the game.
WET is kind of what Stranglehold wanted to be. It’s got hectic, cinematic gunplay with dives and slides all over the place. But what it does is put it into a more entertaining context that keeps you at least somewhat interested.

WET isn’t great, not by a long shot, but it was a fairly entertaining rental, and I enjoyed it as I played through it.

Basically, you’re a chick with guns and access to bullet time who can jump around and shoot people. You also have sword to cut things. Your only defining characteristic is that you don’t take shit from anybody. You heal yourself by drinking whiskey. You flip and dive and slide all around and kill countless numbers of dudes. Sometimes you get on a turmulent. Sometimes, the screen gets all red and stylized for some reason. You shoot some more dudes. This is the whole game.

You get guns that aren’t pistols, but you won’t use them because the pistols are better and the other guns have limited ammo. The pistols just feel right, honestly. I tried using the other guns, I really did, but there was just much more visceral feel to using the pistols.
The game has a weird system where it lets you shoot two guys at once by auto-aiming your off-hand. You can then aim your on-hand at another guy, or at the same guy to kill him faster. This has the comical side-effect of making you way, way more accurate with your off-hand, at least if you’re me. Often, my main hand would fire into space while my off-hand would murder guys alone. Still, it works, and when you’re sliding past two dudes, one on either side, and shooting both of them, the system pays off.

The main thing I liked about the game were the arenas. These were the key elements of the game, where you’d walk into a room, Rubi would look mean, and then you’d have to dash out, block off all the exits, and slaughter everyone in the room. These sequences were what the game was obviously designed around, and they really are a lot of fun. There are always lots of environmental things to jump off of and do tricks from, and you really benefit from planning your strategy before you dash out into the room to keep yourself from getting killed. These set pieces are really where the game shines. It does less so in other sequences, though.

The main reason I loved the game, though, was the music. Take a listen to a sample. This isn’t the same kind of music you hear in every action game. It’s different, but it’s still completely energetic and exciting. I loved it, and I loved moving into new set pieces, because almost every single one of them had their own unique song. This game got the music RIGHT. it really enhanced the experience, and was probably the only reason I finished the game.

If you have a weekend to waste and want to rent a game you can finish quick and have a bit of fun with, WET will do that. It’s alright. It’s much better than I expected. I’d never buy it, but thanks to Gamefly, I got to try it, and it was totally worth my time.

WET is not a very sexy game.

Seriously, with a name like WET, and the B-movie vibe the whole game has going for it, you’d think there would be all kinds of sex. But seriously, it is one of the least sexy games I’ve played in recent memory. It might star a female protagonist, but Rubi is unsexualized, seemingly by design.

First, let’s just look at her design. Here’s a reference photo. On first glance, maybe she seems like a sexy female protagonist. But Rubi is a very dirty person. Perhaps less so in that picture, but in game, her clothes seem caked with dirt. It seems clear that she lives in the middle of a desert junkyard, and it seems like it’s been a long, long time since she washed her clothes. Additionally, and it may just be an issue with modeling of her in-game assets, but it seems like they are stuck to her as an outlet of how dirty they are. They’re a part of her, and she is a filthy person. Her hair, similarly, seems very matted and dirty in game. It’s just not appealing.

There is a scene in the game where she is stripped down to her panties and a t-shirt. If this game was sexy, she would play the level this way. Nay, she would relish playing the level this way. However, Rubi cannot wait to get clothed again. This sequence is maybe 5 minutes long, and she rushes to redress. During the sequence, she is being brutally tortured. There’s no sex appeal there.

There is a scene where Rubi is being hit on by an odd older lesbian. It’s very clear from her body language what she is doing, but Rubi has absolutely no reaction. It’s not one of revulsion, or not being into it, nor it is playing along or being excited. She simply has no reaction whatsoever to these come-ons. There’s no element of sexuality from her side of the scene.

Even her “witty” in-game clips aren’t sexy. I mean, the one that sticks out in my mind is “Say goodnight, Gracie.” I guess I just don’t connect sexiness with George Burns.

All the iconography on the game would seem to suggest that Rubi is sexy. Hell, even the title, which has absolutely nothing to do with the actual game in any way, would seem to suggest that the player is supposed to take that away from the game. But it’s just not there, and it confused me why it wasn’t. It would have fit in the world. Nobody would have batted an eye at it. Were they really trying to make Rubi an actual character, and building that in as a character trait? The mind boggles at the possibility.

At the moment of writing this, I am sitting in the hallway of Grauel, waiting for my research class to start.

I’ve tried to explain why this class has frustrated me so much several times before, and I’m going to try again, because, you know, why not, right? Maybe this time I’ll get it.

Remember back in grade school where you had to write a report? This report was simply a statement of facts, and you added nothing to it. It was mostly busy work. Sure, it might have helped you to learn how to construct things, but you were really creating. You were just copying.
Eventually, as you moved into high school and beyond, you moved away from such reports. The focus was on critical thinking, on finding the evidence and the proof, but then using your noggin to work with them, and work it into something worthwhile, different, and more interesting. You put those facts and figures towards a point, and that point is yours. You own the point. It’s yours and you have created it. The end result is something that you can claim.

I’ve gotten used to being able to claim my work. I’ve gotten used to being able to use that personal connection to what I did in order to motivate me to complete things on time, and to work harder on them than maybe I should.

This class doesn’t have that. In fact, it is actively keeping me from having that.

The class’s main assignment is completely devoid of my touch. It is clinical. It is boring. I’m not used to doing that anymore. I don’t want to do that anymore. It seems, in some way, lesser in nature. It frustrates me a lot.

This is why I hate this class.
Time to go work on this class.

In Twilight Heroes, the IoTM this month is Gwneuthurwr Deganau’s hunllef puzzle. I have no idea how to pronounce that. Luckily, I don’t have to, because this is text. Probably luckily for the game, too.

In any case, this is another in a now-series of items which do a lot of random, color changing effects, such as the Amazing Technicolor Dreampants and the Prismatic Sports Bra. I have, in the past, very much liked these items. I enjoy a bit of randomness in my combat, and I enjoy feeling minorly rewarded every combat with the various effects. I also like the idea of wearing clothing that changes all kinds of crazy colors constantly. So I’ve liked the previous items.

However, this puzzles doesn’t have the benefit of being an article of clothing, which, conceptually, excites me less? This is a stupid reason, I guess, but really, I love those other two items, and have basically kept them equipped since I got them, because I enjoy the idea of wearing crazy clothing while being a superhero. The benefits are nice too, but I can get more static benefits which would probably help me more overall. It’s the flavor that makes me like them. I can imagine me jumping between rooftops, having the most horrible colors of clothing on, and general baffling enemies with it.

The puzzle also has some nice effects, (though some of them still aren’t spaded as of this writing and I honestly have no idea) but it also fills an accessory slot. This is a bigger issue than a shirt or pants for me, too, as those accessory slots are the biggest sources of +item that I have in Wolley’s Index and the Mask of Odysseus. Having to unequip one of those for the cube really makes this a much harder sell for me. I like my item find, especially since, until some sort of ascension-ish mechanic is brought into the game, getting items is the key benefit of playing. Normally, wanting randomness would be a no-brainer, but when you’re hitting that key buff, it’s a tough choice for me.

There’s nothing wrong with the puzzle (no, I’m not typing the name out again) but I find myself unable to be too excited about it. If you didn’t get the previous prismatic items, you might find a lot more fun in this one, and I admit I do get some pleasure out of having THREE prismatic messages filling up the screen during every combat. It doesn’t have me hopping up and down, though. It’s solid, but it just is.

Brickroad is doing another great FFI LP (how many times can the man play the same game and have me be entertained by it? I don’t know, but I want to find out.) and in thinking about it, it made me want to try things out. See, I never imagined, before reading all these things, doing all these challenge runs, and people make them seem pretty easy, especially in Dawn of Souls, the version I have. So I was thinking “Hey, let’s just do something different from the norm, and do a no-magic run. Fighter, Fighter, Bl. Belt, Thief.” I went so out of my way wanting to do this. I dug out my cart and my GBA SP, which has been unused for years. I was all ready to go.

Then I turned on the GBA SP.

I remember being amazed at how good that screen looked when I picked it up, but holy shit, it was a thing of the specific time period it was in. I could barely see the screen. I also remember how much of a godsend the lighting was, but not so much today. That front light is ridiculous and useless, and I was sitting in bed, trying to play, and was having trouble reading the text. It just looked hideous, and the screen looked dropped behind the front of the Gameboy by like an inch. My mind was kind of blown.

It is kind of amazing how much better my DSi’s screen is than that one. We have come a long, long way since the GBA days, even if some games on the DS don’t particularly look it. I’m not a graphics snob or anything, but we are talking the physical construction of the device. It’s amazing to me that I played so many games on this machine. Completely amazing.

Will I get over it and keep playing Dawn of Souls? Maybe. I only beat Garland before bed, though that involved several stupid, stupid mistakes getting my Fighters killed several times. We’ll see if I can go back to it, and that awful screen, again.

Dear person who is asking me to get on voice for Battlefield: Bad Company 2,

First off, let me just say that you’re awesome. I really appreciate you wanting me involved and wanting to talk to me. That’s really cool! You’re being all awesome and friendly, and that is great.

However, I don’t really want to get on voice, and it’s not about you. It’s about how I play the game.

You all are working to win. You’re calling out enemy positions and coordinating attacks. That’s neat, don’t get me wrong. But that’s, again, attempting to win, a goal I don’t really share. I mean, sure, winning is nice, and I’m not going to throw the game. And if our enjoyment depended on victory, you know I’d be there. Left 4 Dead? No way I’m not voice-chatting. You have to coordinate to have fun.

However, the main enjoyment I get from playing these kinds of shooters stems from two things. One is just completely and utterly zoning out. Maybe putting on a podcast or music and just relaxing while I mindlessly shoot dudes. The other is due to the level progression these games now offer. The second, voice chat does not affect. The first, it does.

Coordination takes energy. It takes thought, and work. It is the opposite of the completely stress-less, mindless enjoyment I work for when I boot up a shooter. Again, in a setting made uniquely for that, I’m down, but I don’t really feel like Battlefield is. I feel like I can be effective by actually playing the Medic role, unlike some people, even without coordinating. If spotting and other game systems are actually working right, which, honestly, is not always the case, most of the benefit of talking on voice chat is mitigated as well. It just often doesn’t seem worth it to me.

You guys are awesome. I enjoy playing with you, and it’s not like I’m not going to get on voice chat and enjoy playing with you all. You are cool. But if I seem hesitant, I just want you to know why. It’s just not how I play the game. It’s not that I don’t want to play with you, it’s just counter to how I approach the thing. That’s all.

Hope that clears up any confusion.

Sincerely,
poetfox