The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

So Essner got me this Carcassone variant, New World. It’s… well, I don’t know if it’s better than original Carcassonne? But it certainly does add interesting elements.
For one, having to build off of one edge does add some interesting elements to the strategy. In normal Carcassonne, you can go just about anywhere to, you know, ignore what other players are doing, if you’d like. You can do no such things in this one. Everything is built off of this starting “coast” area, which makes all the play be bunched up a bit, which is interesting, though not completely game-changing.
The main thing the game adds, though, are these “Surveyors.” These little pieces move “westward” each time something is completed. If your little settler piece is in the row of a surveyor when you complete anything, you get an extra 4 points for each Surveyor in that row. That can get a pretty huge boost in points. On top of that, if you have any settlers on pieces that are uncompleted when Surveyors move past that row, you have to pick them up. (This doesn’t count “trappers” which are the farmers in this game. Those stay until the end of the game, like always.) You get no points. This is the mechanic that I think could really mess with the game right here, and although I haven’t played enough to completely gauge it, it seems to strongly punish people who try to make large towns and it makes “farms” (which are the monasteries in this game, named farms for MAXIMUM CONFUSION) much, much less lucrative than in the main game. In normal Carcassonne, there is almost NEVER a reason not to put a guy on a Monastery. In New World, I can totally see putting a settler on a farm often being a bad and kind of pointless choice, as it’s often hard to complete monasteries quickly. This game also makes mini-cities potentially maximum spiteful, too, which is always good. Spite is always good.
Anyway, I’m sure I’ll give it a more thorough playthrough soon, but that’s just kind of my first impressions. I think the main thing I’m going to get out of this game, though, is that I’ve added so many tiles through expansions to original Carcassonne that it is no longer the quick and fun game it originally was, and is now much more involved. Since this game is back to that original, smaller number of tiles, it would be great for those times when you have the tile-game itch, but want it to run quicker. If it manages to fill that niche, I’m all for it.

So, the other day, Valera, a friend of mine from Kingdom of Loathing and Twilight Heroes, comes and asks me if I’d be free most Wednesday nights after game rollover. She wants to do some serious Hobopolis runs, apparently. She’d like to get some Hamsters.
I told her sure, I’m game.
This kind of run requires like… seriously co-ordination, because to make one of these drop, you have to make the run in a bare minimum of turns. Every turn has to count for something, and you have to do several things at the exact same time. It’s such an odd thing for KoL, which is normally a game where you just fuck around completely independently of everyone else. I mean, I suppose it’s also pretty awesome that they were able to come up with a dungeon that works this way within the constraints of KoL.
In any case, this is going to take awhile, which actually means it’ll be even longer before I ascend. Which is alright, I suppose. This will pretty well assure me that I am going to get the level 30 Clubber trophy and a telescope, which is always nice, since I have a chance to do so. I could also try the ocean content out and see how that is, while I’m so high in level. There are things for me to do. They’re just extremely different things than I am used to.
I also have to get prepared… I need to get my instrument and perhaps a stogie, which I was trying to get anyway… yeah, I have things I need to get done. Wish me luck with all that, eh?

I BEAT PERSONA 4!

I didn’t get the true ending, though I have a save so I can, if I wanted. But I don’t want. But dammit, I BEAT PERSONA 4!

It’s so rare for me to actually beat a jRPG. I normally start so, so many of these, so many games in general, and never beat them. To overcome having new, shiny Christmas games and still beat it? It feels good. Real good.

The game itself is really great, too. I mean, some of the characters are kind of horrible. I hate Yosuke, and I hate Rise, but they’re both a believable kind of person I hate, as opposed to one who is unrealistic. The game is just so… realistic in its characters. It’s almost boring sometimes because of it, but they really spoke to me.
Picking Beginner was completely the right choice for me, though. I never had to restart or anything, which is probably what helped get me all the way through it. Never did I have to redo a battle or anything. The boss A.I. kind of would act stupid in my favor, and the 10 respawns, which I thought would be a very minor benefit, were actually a huge help in reducing the frustration of hard boss battles. I very much recommend anyone coming to this game because they heard about the cool characters and shit to pick Beginner. Also, to have a guide. It will up your enjoyment of the story, I promise.

The rest is probably all spoilers, so…
SPOILARZ

When Nanako “died” it seriously hit me with an emotional reaction. All of the Nanako stuff did. It played me the whole game, making me expect her always around. It worked PERFECTLY. I really appreciate games that can do that to me. Still, when she turned out to NOT be dead, I threw up my paws in anger. I complained. How dare the game make me feel so bad for nothing? It didn’t make me hate it by any means, but man, it affected me. I’m not all that cool with the game undercutting the emotional reaction like that.
Still, the path for the bad ending that I didn’t go on was… awesome. The whole idea that my party was emotionally charged and about to commit murder? It was so perfect, because I was affected emotionally at this point too. I’m completely unsure how you’d NOT get the bad ending, though. I used the guide to pick what I was supposed to say, and without it, I probably would have never picked some of those things. Then again, I have no idea how anyone would get the True Ending without a guide either, so…
Still, man, my main character was like… the calmest person in the history of ever. The entire time, everyone would be SO ANGRY GRRR GONNA KILL and my responses would always be “Hey, let’s calm down.” Again and again. And finally, in that scene, I got to go “CALM THE HELL DOWN” which felt good. Real good.

But yeah, the game was 70 hours of goodness. It came out EXACTLY when I needed a long awesome game. Everything was right for Persona 4 to succeed. And it totally, totally did.
Totally.

Well, it’s over. I’m tired and happy. I got mostly what I wanted with a pleasant extra game from my brother, and it’s all awesome. Did I mention I’m tired? Yeah, I dunno, that’ll show me not to sleep much last night, eh?

The one thing about this Christmas that really kind of caught me was that I got all choked up… during Fred Claus. Which just seems kind of stupid. But I don’t know, it… I get emotional at Christmas, and I’ve been so damn busy, I haven’t had much chance to, and then bam, heartwarming moment in this fairly eh movie (I mean, you know, Vince Vaughn is funny naturally, but give me a settling like Wedding Crashers for him instead of a heartwarming Christmas movie any day) and it set it all off, and I really had to hold back tears. Heh. I’m so lame like that.

But seriously, everything I said in that last post badly? Gods, I have so much love for you all, seriously. Gods. Christmas reminds me of that. It’s… mmm… I don’t know, it’s a good thing, but a tiring thing, like most strong emotion, eh?

I think if I had to pick one thing I’m most thankful for this Christmas, though, it’s the fact that my Grandma was feeling good enough to cook and spend all that time with us. Today wore her out, it was obvious, but still… I’m so glad we were able to do it, you know? It meant a lot to her to be able to, and it’s just so good to see her feeling good… So glad she recovered well…

Anyway, heh, before I get too emotional I’m going to end this. I hope you all had a good Christmas and whatnot.

So, the results are in, and I got all A’s. Even after those bitches of finals there (Heh, I got a 75 on one, but my grade was so high I still got an A overall. And I somehow managed a near-perfect on the other final. Who knew?) I managed to pull it off. This is the first time that’s happened in a long time.

Still, it doesn’t really feel like a victory. I hadn’t worked this hard in so long, and it’s very obvious to me now why I didn’t. I got all A’s… so what? What does that get me? There’s nothing all that heartache and effort gained me, really. Just a bunch of letters on a piece of paper. I just… I don’t feel like it was worth the shitty time I had. I really don’t.
It’s not only that, but it’s the fact that I knew all along that if I tried I’d get all A’s. I’m smart, you know? I really am. Anything lower than an A on my part was always a matter of not applying myself enough more than not being able to do it. Actually getting the A’s is more of a “as it should be” than something I’d pat myself on the back about…

Still, I suppose I only have to do it all one more time, huh… I suppose I did gain that. But this really feels like an empty victory. I wish I wasn’t.

Hey, I guess it’s Christmas Eve, huh? Man, it’s come so fast… I don’t really believe it… heh, but Christmas is nice. Will be nice. Yes.

So, the other night, after showing Jessie Left 4 Dead and having a good time at that (though she obviously isn’t a shooter player. It shocks me that she beats games like Silent Hill that frustrate me. She must either be better at them than me or have extreme patience) we went looking for something to watch, and, after looking through what I had, we ended up trying some Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. I’m happy to report that it hasn’t lost any of its humor from the last time I watched it. It’s still got such intense randomness combined with horrible stereotypes. Heh. It was, you know, good times.
About halfway through, though, I remembered a series that relied on random humor that I hadn’t seen in an eternity and got out the DVDs. That series is Excel Saga. Going back and watching it, I barely remembered much about it. I feel like it doesn’t hold up quite as well as back then. It’s still totally random, of course, and the humor comes from that randomness (Space Butler!) but it’s significantly less character driven. There’s all kinds of random shit happening, but Excel is just this crazy person who does crazy things as opposed to a character, really, and stuff just… well… happens. Like I said. Yeah.
Basically, mulling these things over, I think I’ve kind of figured out what makes randomness work so well, and that is an adherence to a strong internal logic, even if the events don’t make any sense. Granted, Excel Saga is purposefully lacking an internal logic because they change everything around every episode to spoof various styles and whatnot, but that’s also hindering it. No matter what fucked up things happen in Mr. Despair and his class, they are still internally consistent, even if their characters are kind of expanded stereotypes. Each member of the class is going to react in a logical way, given what you know about them. It gives the wackiness some grounding, a baseline to compare the craziness to, and that just makes it more funny. Right?
That’s the theory, anyway.

So, on the topic of game related shit I think too much about, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into trying to figure out what my Shadow would be in the Persona 4 sense. For those of you who aren’t playing the crap out of the game right now, a Persona 4 shadow would be the side of yourself that you deny, which is probably, you know, mean or evil. I feel like I should, you know, throw the question out to the crowd, but at the same time, asking the internets “Hey, what’s my bad qualities?” seems potentially stupid of me. Heh.
But yeah, the part of me I deny. I mean, the obvious thing is my masculinity, and if you’d, you know, caught me some years ago and threw me into the backside of the TV, that totally would have been it. I feel, though, I’m much more accepting of that kinda thing now. I still get hits of depression about it from time to time, but in general, I accept it.
The other thing, I suppose, is my anger, but at the same time. I think I realize how much I hate, you know? I try my best to hide it to most people, but that’s just because I don’t want to bother them with it. (and also because, if I get mad at anything, my parents act like I got mad at them) Like, if you asked me, I think I would be quite honest about that.
I guess I really comes down to how the TV world really works. Is it always something you’re denying to yourself? Or is it just something you’re denying to the world? It’s seemed like things you’re denying to yourself, and on that front, I really do think I’m pretty… good. I’m pretty good on that front. I mean, there are things I am uncomfortable with, but I’m not about to say they don’t exist, I suppose. But who knows, maybe I do have something. The whole point of denying it would be that I don’t really know it, eh?
You know, now that I think about it, perhaps my thing I deny is my need for control. Often I want attention exactly when I want it, and not before or after. Constantly wish I had control of my life (even though I do, really) and wish people would listen to me or do things, you know, not stupidly. (at least in my eyes) Maybe that’s what my shadow would focus on… my need to control the whole world.

Who knows, really. The important thing, though, is that Persona 4 is awesome, and that I am awesome. I think.

So we took a bunch of Christmas family pictures like we do every year, and just like we do every year, it was an exercise in frustration, with my mother running around, constantly changing things and dressing me and my brother up and all kinds of shit. I mean, I guess that’s all to be expected. All families go through that bullshit, I expect. But goodness, it just really gets on my nerves. It’s not just because I feel like she’s constantly picking out flaws in who I am while we’re doing this, saying I don’t smile and so many other things, and it’s not just because she makes me stare and stare at pictures of myself to find every flaw when I’m all wrong and she should know it if she cares… and then she refuses to look at herself because she can’t stand to look at herself… it’s not any of those things, although they are all certainly complaints that I have.

No, what bothers me is that I feel like she is trying to set up a picture of the family she wants, as opposed to the family she has. It’s always been obvious that I’m not what she wanted. I mean, she wanted me to be a son, for one thing. But as she makes me do everything I never do to myself and look how I never look, I just feel like she doesn’t want me there. She wants this perfect idea of me instead. She wants the me she wishes I was, instead of the me I am.
I just don’t get the point of even taking a family picture if that’s the case. It should be a picture of all of us, as we are. And sure, dressing up is appropriate, and I’m more than willing to give it a go, but it should still be my thing, shouldn’t it? I should still look like me? I should still be me in the picture? And I mean, why not have some pictures where we’re looking normal. Isn’t that more likely to remind of good times when you look at the picture? Or am I just completely crazy for thinking so?

In any case, it’s over now, but I’m just left with such an empty feeling. Maybe it’s just because the camera stole my soul or something. I don’t know. And it’s not like I want to completely bitch at my mom. I do love my mom, even if I have a ton of things I wish she would do to make it a less stressful time for me to be around her. It just… all this stuff just reminds me head on how wrong I am, and how wrong these people, who are very close to me, see me… and honestly it’s just pretty depressing, I guess.

Yay holidays, huh?

I feel like I’ve spread a meme around here, even though it’s probably unlikely.
It’s just occurred to me recently how often I now hear the phrase “No worries.” I’d never really heard the phrase before a few years ago, when I read a book with a character that used it (I think it was one of the Rincewind Discworld novels) and went “You know, that’s exactly what life needs. No worries.” Then I started using it often.
Now I just feel like it’s everywhere around this area. Random people at work say it to me. My brother just sent me a text message with it in it, which is what prompted this. I feel like everyone is throwing it out there, when it wasn’t in use before.
Now, I mean, I know it’s stupid to think it’s all my fault, but at the same time, I’ve seen my quirks and memes spread to my friends before. I know it happens. I’m likable and somewhat charismatic when I try to be, and I suppose I, you know, rub off on people the right ways. But this is just… on a much larger scale than noticing one person has adopted one of my mannerisms, I suppose.

In the end it doesn’t really matter whatsoever, and hell, if more people can live their lives with no worries, so much the better. I know I want to. But it’s just… neat, I guess, if it is true. And something stupid that I thought about if it isn’t. And dammit, this blog is a collection of my thoughts. So here, blog. Collect my thoughts.

This semester is officially over, and, frankly, it’s about fucking time.
I mean, honestly, I had checked out a week ago. It’s good to finally get those finals out of the way. But damn, they didn’t pull ANY punches. Those were two of the hardest tests I can ever remember having. Still, the fact that I KICKED ASS this entire semester will more than make up for any, you know, B-level grades on those tests. I should be fine.
Man, though, I think 94 was my magic number this semester. I got 94% on like… everything. It was kind of ridiculous.
Anyway, I suppose it’s time to be REALLY LAZY. Well, besides work. Me and my silly picking up several shifts this weekend…