The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

So it’s been a couple weeks since I started seeing a therapist. It’s, um, been going well, I guess. I’ve been brought nearly to tears just about every single time I go, so that at least means I’m hitting, to some extent, the heart of SOMETHING that is the matter. So that’s nice.

I have concerns. Being in therapy is a good step, but I know I’m not seeing the person I should be seeing. I was hoping it would work as a springboard onto someone with more, you know, specific experience, but I worry it may not be going quite that way. I mean, at some point I’m going to force that issue. I know that much. But… like I said, something is happening, so I can’t be TOO unhappy with how it’s going.

I just want progress. A feeling of progress and moving forward with all these issues I’ve been sitting on forever and ever. I’ve got all these career things I’m going on full steam, but dammit, I need some personal resolution now, you know? I have my degree, and I’m going for more degrees, and things are going well in that regard, but I need resolution of the personal nature. I need to be myself. And find it.

My therapist knows what he’s doing to an extent, and I rather like him, even though it’s clear we’re just, you know, completely different types of people. That helps. But he’s certainly poking around to see if there’s a solution other than what I want. Good to cover the bases, I guess… but as I said, at some point, I’m going to have to just flat out force the whole point and get what I want about the whole thing. It’s, you know, to some extent my time. Have to do what I want to do with it and get the results I want.

It’s just so hard to put things into words. So much of all this is just… strong feelings over everything. I can’t explain it logically, because it isn’t logical. There’s nothing logical about it. It’s just who I am. But I can’t just say “it’s just who I am” because that’s not an explanation.

Fuck, I dunno.

But I’m doing something. Something is always better than nothing. That idea is what pulled me out of the gutter and got me here. It’s served me great. And it will continue to.
I’m doing something.

So there are some puzzles in Layton and the Diabolical Box about making Tea for people.

I love the game, but these puzzles are kind of bullshit.

The majority of the puzzles in Layton normally have a trick. Many of them can be solved through old school trial and error, but there’s normally something you can find, some trick where you can figure it out without a lot of math or whatever. They’re neat that way. Either way, you feel good when you solve it.

But these Tea puzzles… they aren’t so much Tea puzzles, but trial and error. The people tell you what kind of qualities they want in their tea. If you’re lucky, you have the ingredients that equal what they’re wanting, so you try to make it, and hopefully you get it right. Maybe.
If you get it wrong? Well, then you have to wait an unknown amount of time for them to get thirsty before you can try it again.

Basically, if you know the Tea recipes, then you can match the teas to the people really easily. But to find the recipes, you have to just try things at random. Mix and match. Granted, the dialog that happens when you find a new blend is entertaining, but goodness. You have to go through all this dialog that’s entertaining the first time but a pain the 7th time every time you fail. And again, maybe you don’t even have the right ingredients yet.

I dunno, the game is so classy and good. I’ll gladly tell you how classy it is later. But this particular overarching puzzle is kind of bullshit. I wonder if its reward is actually worth it. I ended up looking up all the blends on GameFAQs so I wouldn’t have to trial and error them anymore.

So I remember when I wanted to get a phone with data. “Man, I need something with a good browser!” I said. “Something that will really do all kinds of internet-ing.”

I’m still completely glad that I have a phone with data now, but man, I rarely, if ever, use the browser. And not because it’s not so great on the Blackberry, either. It’s because that’s just not what I do on my phone. I twitter. I chat with people. That’s about it. Sure, a better browser for being able to see what people are twittering would be nice, but I rarely feel like I’m being held back by my choice of phone. If anything, it’s clear that I backed the right horse. I would hate doing all the texting, tweeting, and chatting on an iPhone. The Blackberry Bold’s keyboard is so, so, so great for that. It works wonderfully.

I also get my school e-mail on there now, so my students can pester me 24/7. So that’s exciting, too. I am totally professional, and totally using data. Totally.

Just, you know, not in the ways I expected. But that’s okay.

So the parents continue to get braver and braver in the more and more empty-nested world they find themselves in, and are actually, now, taking a pretty big trip in October. This is going to leave me alone in the house with the puppy dog for like, a week. This has me worried.

I mean, it’s not like I don’t like the dog. I like Molly very much! She is very cute and affectionate. We play all the time. I’m very glad she’s around.
At the same time, she is also a very needy dog. Whenever my parents leave, and I’m still at home, she’s constantly coming up to me, trying to get me to go and look for them for her. She whines until I take her outside to see where they are, or she’ll constantly pat my leg, and want me to come with her to an “approved” spot to spend time with her so she will not be alone.

It’s as adorable as all get out, don’t get me wrong. But I’m glad that, whenever I’m not in the mood for it, I can “turn that off” and not worry about it, and know she’ll get the attention she wants a little later when the parents come home. Molly is there when I want such things, and I can turn it off when I don’t.

During that week my parents are gone, however, I can’t. She doesn’t like being in here, in the room with the computer, and thus is going to be constantly trying to get me away to spend time with her. She’s also likely not to eat much without me forcing it on her, a little. She doesn’t eat when she’s nervous, and without the parents there for days, she won’t be. She’s also scared to death of the doggy door, and we simply cannot teach her to go out the door to use the bathroom when she needs to, which means I’m going to have to take her outside like clockwork fairly often. I’m going to have my hands full, to some extent.

At the same time, the “test run” I’ve had so far when my parents were gone for one night went surprisingly well. She eventually realized the parents weren’t coming back, and came in and slept with me very nicely. I didn’t have a whole lot of trouble with her. And I mean, we have over a month to teach her to use the doggy door. It should be alright.

Still, you know. Potential Stressor. Yay.

So on the fabled 9/9 of 09, I was lucky enough to get to play through the entire story mode of Beatles: Rock Band with my friends, from start to finish. We strummed away on plastic guitars like nobody’s business. We sang and harmonized our hearts out. We made jokes during boring parts. We generally had a great time.

And it was in the middle of this great time, as I was laughing at Spaeth being utterly stupid and making satanic noises during the extremely repetitive ending to I Want You (She’s So Heavy), that I realized how precious this moment was, with all of my great friends in the room, having a good time.

I always hate when I get all depressed about this kind of thing, but dammit, these times can’t last forever. People are going to get jobs and move away. If I keep going the way I’m going, I’m going to have to move away to work on my Doctorate in 2 years. There is a strict time limit to being able to just jump in and have such fun with my friends.

I don’t know. I had that twinge of almost crying when I realized it would be times like this I would be thinking back on, and missing, in the future.
These are what my youth is, what good times I had during it, you know?

And then Spaeth and Essner started going back and forth on the mics, and I snapped out of it, and got back to fun. But I wanted to record it here.
At least a little.

This is the beginning of what is probably like all kinds of posts about Beatles: Rock Band. Because, hell, I dunno. I’ve got many things to say about the game. And things around the game. Yes.

Anyway, on Thursday I spent over 80 dollars on microphones.
Well, okay, only 50 dollars of that was on Microphones. The rest was on a mic stand. And a fox doll. That last one having little to do with Beatles: Rock Band, but damn, it was right there, in front of the checkout, and I NEVER pass up buying fox plushies and whatnot whenever I see them. I am a simple creature like that.

In any case, way too much money on microphones.

But dammit, the harmony is by far the most exciting part of the game! I sing. I do nothing but sing in these games. And throwing the Harmonies in there just gives me something completely different to work on. It’s a serious challenge, but so far, it’s been BEYOND satisfying when I actually land a harmony perfectly. It feels so good.

So I got enough mics so that I can always do the harmonies. And then I got a Mic stand, so I could harmonize while I play guitar.

That’s something I never really had a want to do with Rock Band 2 and Rock Band. Playing the guitar and singing had no appeal. I’d just do both shittily. But I always want to try the harmonies when I’m playing guitar, automagically. Now that I can, I so, so want to do it. I’ve already tried it with Mom singing lead vocals, and it just worked so well. I can’t go back! I can’t go back.

Rock Band 3 better have vocal harmony. That’s all I’m saying.
It better.

So, uh, you know I write stuff, right? I mean, I write stuff here, sure, but I write some other stuff too? Sometimes? Maybe? And then the college has this reading series, and people say I should read there, so I do. Yep.

So yeah, the readings were actually scheduled at a time where I could go to them this year. So I signed up and said “hey, I’ll do the first one!” And then I did the first one on Friday.

Overall, it went pretty alright, I think. I read some poetry I had written about Persona 3 and 4 (Well, sort of written about them. Not completely. Either way, I am a huge nerd for doing it) and then I read my Clockwork God story which is not really about a clockwork god. There was applause. I was pulled aside to point out that one of my lines of dialog in the story was great (“How goes your questionable plan?”) and that he’d have to use it, which was flattering.

In general, though… I don’t know. I think I do good work. People tell me I do good work. But I never really get anything out there. I suppose it’s good to present at this sort of thing for that reason. But man, I really should be submitting things for publication.
Then again, that’s just one more thing I “should” be doing. I’ve got enough stressors. Which is why I don’t do it.
But I should!
Probably!

So, I am not a person who normally eats breakfasts. After that stint of time when I was just kind refusing to really eat anything, I told myself “Okay, fine, self. We’ll eat. But we’re only going to do it when hungry, and try to keep it to a minimum.”
That hasn’t totally held up. I snack and whatnot. But I certainly try to keep actual meals to a minimum. Preferably one big one and a snack, but most of the time it gets down to two meals. Those two meals tend to be lunch and dinner. These tend to be the ones I keep up with and do because they’re much more likely to be social situations, and that’s kind of the one rule I always follow: Always eat in a social situation if the option is given to you. So, you know, it makes sense those would be common.

Suddenly, however, I am now a morning person, getting up at 6:30 in the fucking AM. Suddenly, I am hungry to the point of being sick by the time a normal lunch period rolls around if I don’t eat a breakfast. This puts me in a dilemma. A potential three meal a day dilemma.

Strategies to try include the “snack on the way out the door,” or “Pop Tart” method, and the “stop being such an idiot and eat breakfast” method. But none of those really seem to be options that I’m happy with. It’s so hard for me to change my ways, and harder still for me to be okay with it. I’d rather it just be the same sort of thing I’ve been doing forever, where I have a big lunch to make up for breakfast, and then a small dinner, or vice versa.

But I dunno, I guess I’m all grown up and some shit, and I should just deal with it. I just hate bending my will to my stupid body that I hate. Rather it be on my terms.
Stupid body. Always needing food and sleep and being all wrong.

Dateline: Labor Day Weekend! On a whim, I remember that the Missouri Botanical Gardens is having some sort of Japanese Festival! I say to myself, “Self, you never fucking DO anything. Sure, spending all weekend playing the excellent Red Faction: Guerrilla would be time well spent, but shouldn’t you go DO something?”

So I called some people, and sure enough, on Monday, Spaeth and I ended up going to the Japanese Festival. Yep.

It was pretty neat! I mean, the Botanical Gardens is, honestly, a pretty cool place to begin with, and I hadn’t been there in years. A plant zoo sounds potentially unexciting, but it really is a pretty place, and there is just all kinds of stuff to look at. Spaeth hadn’t been there in forever either. So it was pretty neat just to walk around.
That said, I kept trying to use the map to take us on “shortcuts” that involved us getting extremely lost. This happened all the time, the worst part of it being when we got lost in the English Forest for like 15 minutes, only to end up about 5 feet away from where we started. It was excitement, let me tell you.

But yeah, we got to see a lot of cool stuff. We got to see some people practicing the classical art of Koryu Bugei, which was pretty interesting, especially with a guy there to explain it. We got to see a huge explanation of the art of Sumo, and saw a couple mock fights. We got to see a performance of a bunch of Taiko drummers, which I took a shitty Qik video of here, if you care to see.

During all this, we walked by more people with cat ears than I’ve ever seen in one place before. Granted, I know of several places I could go where I’d see more of them? But I almost felt out of place! Should have brought some ears.

The excursion ended with me wasting money on some cute dolls because “fuck it, I’m on vacation, sort of.” And then, of course, the required stop by J in the B. It was a pretty fun time!

In any case, I took some pictures with my cell phone, and you can look at them here, if you want. But yeah, it was a nice change of pace, going. I’m glad I did.

Saturday night, I dreamed I was in an Adventure Game.

There were at least three distinct time periods, and I could travel between them for some reason. The one in the “past” was some sort of party, there was a “future” where I was in some sort of TV or Movie studio where something involving puppets was being filmed, and the “present”, which was in some sort of apartment complex, as well as some woods outside.

The puzzles seemed to revolve heavily around this item I had. It looked like a Compact Flash Memory Card reader, but it was a “Lip Scanner.” I was having to convince people to kiss it in order to get a perfect scan of their lips and a selection of their genetic makeup for some damn reason. I built up a really big collection of people, both past and present. I think I was establishing lineage? Maybe? But there were other things.

The one puzzle I remember clearly was me trying to make a fountain spring of someone spit. Seriously. To do this involved blocking an already existing spring with a rock, and using the lip scanner to make some spare saliva. Then somehow, all of this got into a water fountain at the party in the past, and I had the guy confirm that it was his spit by tasting it. And then that had the spring become a saliva spring. Yeah, I have no fucking idea either.

Moral of the Story: Adventure games are really fucking weird, man. Really fucking weird. Or I guess, maybe it’s my dreams that are really weird.