The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

There was this one time when the internet went out for a whole 10 minutes, and I got so mad that I went to Barnes and Noble. Once there, I spent too much money on books. One of the books I bought was Civilwarland in Bad Decline by George Saunders, because I seriously, seriously did like that story “Jon”, and wanted to read more.
Then, I read the book.

I’ll admit that this is the first book I’ve read solely for fun in… fuck, I have no idea. Since the last Harry Potter? (No, actually, I bet it was When You Are Engulfed In Flames by David Sedaris) And that was really more out of an obligation at that point, since the series had gotten so bad. I am such a horrible English Major… no, wait… English Grad Student now, I guess.
One of the reasons I felt like I could read this book for fun is because it’s a really small book. It’s not even 200 pages, and it’s not like the text is tiny of anything. One of the reasons I rarely read, besides not being willing to invest the time into a book I won’t like and then not knowing what I will and won’t like, is because it FEELS like this huge time commitment. Which I know is a lie, especially because I read so fast. But I dunno. Having a small book of short stories just felt right for my own entertainment, so I went for it.

The book itself consists of a few short stories and then a novella. The main theme of the whole thing seems to be “amusement parks.” The only story that doesn’t really fit this theme is “The 400 lb. CEO,” but it can almost count because they go to this crazy theme restaurant. Sort of. When I say “amusement parks,” though, think places much more surreal and fucked up. We’re talking the kind of places that would have “SafeOrgy” rooms and exhibits where an actual plate glass window is installed into a living, breathing cow so kids can see the insides. Those kinds of amusement parks.

I feel that nothing in this collection was anywhere near as good as “Jon,” which is a shame. That one just came together on such excellent conceptual and character arc levels. These stories tend to be of the same quality in concept, but seem to lack the extremely strong character arc that pays off in the end. The ideas and strange worlds are mostly worked through, but the characters showing us these worlds rarely get a satisfying conclusion. The best in this regard was probably “Offloading for Mrs. Schwartz,” but it was also the story with, perhaps, the least strange setting, so maybe that had something to do with it.
I did learn, however, that a lot, though not all, of the qualities that make the writing in “Jon” so offbeat are more elements of Mr. Saunders’ style than elements of Jon’s voice. Not that Jon doesn’t have a distinct voice, but it was simultaneously neat and kind of sad to learn he just normally writes like that. I love his voice! It’s neat! But it was also cooler when it was a very specific thing he adopted just for one story, you know?
I also learned Mr. Saunders really likes the work Milquetoast. Seriously, he used it like.. at least 4 times in this book. That’s rather a lot for a word like that.

Still, George Saunders is a really good writer. He’s great at creating internal monologue and has that excellent voice and neat ideas. I find myself coming away from the book a little frustrated, but that’s simply because so much of his work is so high quality that the flaws stand out. His characters in this book, especially in the novella at the end, really never get proper closure. The ride, however, is completely fun for all of them. You have a good time reading them. But it just feels like such a waste when, for example in the novella “Bounty” (Are novellas in quotes or italics? I’ll have to look that up sometime) the huge road trip that showed so much about this nearly apocalyptic world is ended in about a page and a little change. The main character makes it to his goal, but nothing really becomes of it. It was still a fun read, but it’s frustrating, because it would have been a significantly greater read still if it had paid off better.

I guess that’s essentially what I think about this book. Many great ideas that certainly could have paid off better, but was still fun enough to experience. I’m sure if you weren’t the kind of person who cares so deeply about characters above all else, like I am, you’d probably be in heaven with the world building of these stories, especially the novella. If it sounds interesting, certainly give it a read. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. But I’m not going to go crying out all over the place that you should check it out, either.

I bought another one of his collections, too, called Pastoralia. Maybe that one will be stronger? I suppose we’ll see sometime soon. I’m sure I’ll let you know when I read it.

In watching Zombieland, I learned something. I apparently subconsciously think that dark humor is not “genuine” or “real” humor.

I mean, that’s not true. Dark Humor can be totally and completely awesome. I enjoy dabbling in it from time to time. It also seems like a decent fit for a movie called Zombieland, as well. I mean, you’re obviously going to have some gore (And Zombieland doesn’t pull too many punches in that department) and death and whatnot. Dark Humor seems likely. Zombieland didn’t really go that way, though. What you find is a strong, character-based comedy set to the background of a Zombie Apocalypse for no reason other than Zombies are hot right now, I guess. (Also, why did I just capitalize Zombie Apocalypse?)

Seriously, the cast is very small. Just the four survivors. But they all do a really great job in being entertaining, but real people, which is just the perfect sort of combination. Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson’s character, is really the most “cartoonish” of the bunch, and is indeed the source of many of the strongest laughs in the film. At the same time, the movie makes sure to make him a real human being, and does so in a way that doesn’t seem all that forced or tacked on. It’s actually kind of nice, really.

So yeah, instead of humorous, over-the-top zombie kills, you have entertainment based on strong characters interacting. And it works well. And it involves a great cameo by a fucking awesome guy. So I totally, totally dug it.

A final note: They’re pushing a line as quotable in the ads, it seems, that of the mantra of “Nut up or Shut up.” This is not a memorable line. Seriously, one of the best lines of dialog in the entire movie is “Let me start the first part of my three-part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being,” and I can totally see THAT being a quotable line. Conversations of Balls works alright in the movies, but man, who would actually say that?
Okay, so, people would. But nobody I know. Thankfully. Besides Spaeth. But he would probably say something completely different about balls.

I’m done now.

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that I am an “endless repeat” kind of music listener. Some people listen to albums, some to random selections of shuffled tracks. Me? I’m one song, constantly, over and over and over, until my obsession gets to something else.

The current song? Froggie by The Presidents of the United States of America. (Please, don’t mind the odd “music video.”)

This one didn’t catch me the first time I listened to it like some songs. It was just kind of there, and I thought it odd, with it’s weird energetic crescendos and whatnot in between a fairly calm song for POTUS. (Pot Us!) Yet when I listened to it again, and soon a million, million times, it became exciting for just that very reason. There’s a constant expectation there. I know the part that makes me want to get up and dance like an idiot is coming. It’s always coming. But you have to wait for it. It builds and builds. That’s pretty fun.
Pretty, pretty fun.

Remember that paper I submitted?

Well, uh, it got accepted.

So now I’m going to be going to beautiful Arkadelphia, Arkansas in November to read this paper, which doesn’t QUITE exist yet but I’m working on it, in front of other people who are doing the same thing and who may or may not be more qualified than I am.

Needless to say, I’m thrilled. Thrilled-ish.

Granted, I still have a ton of paperwork to fill out. Paperwork is fun! But that should, you know, pay for the whole thing, which will be cool.
I’ve never been in an hotel room by myself, though. That’ll certainly be an interesting experience. But I made sure my room had Internet and I’ll bring the lappy, so I will be entertained! That, and I’ll have papers to grade. So, you know. Fun times.

I guess I’m kind of legit, huh?
No?
Oh well.

While waiting on students in the lounge of the office (which is basically a very small room which has a couple couches in it) I got back into playing Rogue Touch, for lack of anything better to do. That inspired me to go to my office computer and install Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup on it, for whatever reason. I guess to sap my productivity? I have no idea.

Needless to say, I suck at it.

I don’t know. Whenever I play these sorts of games, I always want to be a healer, or a mage of some kind. I pick these classes knowing good and well that I am going to go Kamikaze at some point and die immediately, because I’m a mage, and I have no armor, and I suck in general anyway. So after playing a couple of deaths like that on my office computer, I decided, fuck it, I’m going to actually accommodate my urges. It’s nothing but Hill Orc Fighters from now on.

Strangely, though, that hasn’t seemed to improve my effectiveness much at all. The top of my leaderboard is still a birdie healer, much like I kept running at home when I tried the game. I guess it’s not surprising that the class I played like 30 rounds of would be the one I would be best at, but at the same time I totally forgot how to call in divine favors so I wasn’t even using the healing powers of my healer. Also, I accidentally killed something while praying to my pacifist god and made her mad at me, so, you know, I was pretty well playing the worst healer ever. Yet, I still did better than all of my fighter runs thus far. Who the hell knows.

I mean, I’m not all that good at Roguelikes. I figured out Shiren pretty decently, and made it to the last area a few times, though never cleared it, but that’s about it. I’ve never made it out of the first strata of Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. I’m under the impression that there are like 15 areas and I have to pick and clear like 7 of them to get plot coupons to clear the game? But as I’ve said, I’ve never seen past the first, so… yeah. I’m doing pretty awesome. Don’t want to brag, but, you know, I’m pretty well the best. At being awful.

Still, even when constantly losing, the game remains fun. It’s certainly helped by the fact that, as long as you’re using tiles, the interface is so, so much more useful than, say, Nethack. If you’re looking to try one of these hardcore roguelikes, I really can’t recommend Stone Soup with Tiles enough. It plays like someone gave a shit about interface. It’s wonderful.

But yeah, so that’s what I’m doing instead of the tons of homework and grading and whatnot I should be doing in my office. Exciting, no?

So I’ve actually been playing Kingdom of Loathing again, although in Hardcore Oxy, so I only play like once a week or so. Still, that’s been working out well enough. And, of course, since I’m ascending again, I’ve been doing 100% familiar runs. And since the most recent Mr. Familiar I’ve gotten was the He-Boulder, I’ve been using that.
I like it pretty well.
Of course, it doesn’t hurt that it’s a part Ghuol Whelp. It’s always nice to have that extra healing after most combats. I heart those kinds of familiars. (Seriously, if only the Cotton Candy Carnie had flavor that I liked better. Then I’d use it all the time.) It’s also nice, I suppose, to have a Mr. Store Leprechaun that I would actually want to use for the Nuns or whatever. I’ll probably never actually use him for that effect, though.

So, besides the nice heals, the He-Boulder has one other thing going for it, and that’s it’s various eye beams. Once a combat, you can use the free skill “Point at your Opponent” to have it fire off a beam. Most of the time, this just throws out a little damage. (Well, it’s a ton of damage early in the game, but it quickly becomes more trivial.) However, one in every 150 turns, it fires a “Major Ray” which does TONS of damage with the red ray, defeats an enemy outright with the Yellow Ray, or essentially uses Entangling Noodles on the enemy with the Blue Ray, which is pretty cool.

So basically, you have a Ghuol Whelp who gives you some extra Meat drops and works like a sometimes effective combat familiar. It’s a pretty well-rounded combination, and it’s pretty fun to use. The familiar equipment (which I annoyingly didn’t get, but got a lead necklace instead, grrr) helps the Major Rays recharge faster, which is a decent enough incentive to go to the Cake-shaped Arena in more casual runs, too.

Still, the fact remains that this review is late. You’d have to buy this familiar from the mall. I don’t know if it’s gone up in price, but if it has, over just the cost of a Mr. A? I can’t really recommend it. It’s neat enough, and I’m happy with my purchase, but it just doesn’t seem powerful enough to invest in, and certainly not enough to pay a premium for when you can get so many other neat things. I’ll keep having fun with it, though, at least until this run is over.

Speaking of World Building, you should read this story. It’s “Jon” by George Saunders, and it’s long, but it’s awesome. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

– – –

What did you think? Awesome, right? Well, actually, maybe you won’t think as such. People outside of my short story class, which is where I first encountered this story, haven’t liked it so far. Maybe it’s too “english major-y?” Is that even a thing? I dunno.

Mainly, though, this is just a poster child for what I’m going to talk about in my previously mentioned paper. The story does an AMAZING job at building a world with no exposition whatsoever. It’s really quite neat. You know more about Jon’s world in the first couple of paragraphs where he shows us “all what he is saying” than you do in multiple pointless paragraphs of back story in a fantasy novel.

I dunno. I loved it. LOVED IT. And I wanted to share. So there.

I submitted an abstract to a conference the other day.

I mean, I don’t know if I’ll get in, but goodness… that was not on a list of things I expected myself to be doing… going to scholarly conferences… reading papers I wrote in front of strangers and trying to sound important. That is just… not something I was going to do!

I’ve always thought of myself as a smart enough person, but never so much as an “intellectual” or someone who does this kind of shit. Someone who would, potentially, be making their way in life as an academic. That was never even vaguely in the game plan. I never really felt comfortable writing papers. It never felt like I was doing good work, even though I always got good grades on them. To think that creating these papers could be a marketable skill for me seemed… pretty crazy.
The main reason I’m drawn to that kind of life at all is a want to teach, and the main reason I’m repelled from it is getting into the supposed “Publish or Perish” mindset of actual academic life, you know? I don’t need this vague deadline over my head that I’m needing to get another article out there. Ugh.

And yet here I am. I submitted a paper.
I dunno. It’s odd.

I am so fucking sick.
Ugh.
Agh.

I don’t think it’s a flu or anything, it’s just one mean motherfucker (I learned in class last night that, yes, motherfucker is one word, keep that in mind) of a head cold that is taking advantage of the fact that I haven’t really got a good night’s sleep since school started.

So I’m kind of knocked on my ass right now, and trying not to fall behind. I had to call in to the press today and not work in order to nap for three hours… I hope I don’t get too behind. At some point I have to do some homework. Write another paper. I need to do that.
I also need to try Crash Course and play RE5 on the PC with Brer. And beat Mario and Luigi. And stuff.

Ugh, I feel awful.

My students have completed their first paper, and are well on their way to the second. I’ve also graded my first paper, and been observed in class. How did I do?

Good!
Apparently!

On the grading scale, it doesn’t look like I used many C’s or D’s. I had a couple awful papers that ended up as F’s, and a handful of really good papers that got A’s. and then most of the class ended up in the high to low B range. I’m pretty okay with that. It does indicate that perhaps I had a lot of “freebie if you did the work” points in there, since those who got the really low grades were the ones who did not get those. I’m trying to be fairly nice with having those points about, seeing as this is an entry-level course. Seems like the right thing to do.

As far as being observed, that too went very well! My class didn’t, uh, do the assignment at all that day, so I’d probably put the class in the middle of the road as far as how successful the class was. We did get some discussion going, and that was good. I also got points for being very prepared and having a great sort of “classroom persona” and being able to ad-lib useful stuff from student feedback, which is awesome to hear.
(The best thing, though, was that there was no mention of my dress whatsoever. Take that, Mom! I win! Completely vindicated!)

So yeah, I guess I’m doing as well as I think I’m doing? Probably? It’s all going pretty well in my class. Of course, there are already things that I’m probably going to change or fix next semester. But it’s good to know I already have the hang of this stuff. Very good to know.